Jax sat in the living room, talking on the phone with Holly's uncle. He hadn't been able to talk to him alone about the surprise wedding.

"Why don't you want Holly to know?"

"Holly's never thought about what she would've wanted for a wedding because she never thought she'd get to this point. I gave that ring to her almost 2 years ago and we haven't been able to do much about. I'm tired of making her empty promises. She deserves better than that. And I know she'd love to have you guys there. It won't replace having her parents there, but I know she'd love it."

"Of course we'll be there. And you're a good guy, Jax. I know my dad worried about her for a long time but feels better knowing she's in good hands."

He smiled to himself before looking towards the stairs when he heard movement from upstairs.

"I gotta go. Holly's up."

"Let me know when and where and we'll be there."

"I will. And I hope you guys are ready for dinner tonight. Holly slaved all day yesterday making sure the house was clean and that she had everything she needed to make dinner."

"We're all looking forward to it."

"Good. Later, man."

"Goodbye."

He looked back as Holly came downstairs, holding onto Lilia, smiling a bit at her, taking a drink of his coffee before taking the baby from her.

"Morning, babe."

"Morning, baby. Who were you talking to?"

"Your uncle. Making sure they were still on board with the deal."

"What'd he say?"

"He's looking forward to see the hardware."

"Good."

He kissed her back when she bent down to kiss him.

"You want something to eat, baby?"

"No. I gotta get to the shop. The guys and I have to talk about shit before the Irish and your family gets here."

"Ok. I have a surprise for Chibs for his birthday."

"What's the surprise?"

"I arranged for the Kings to bring Fiona and Kerrienne with them. I got the text from Fiona last night. They're both excited to see Chibs again."

He smiled at her, kissing her a little deeper.

"We'd all be lost without you, babe."

They both looked over when they heard Juice start waking up from the couch.

"I'll make some pancakes."

"Just put out some cereal. I'll have Chucky come over to help you out today."

"Ok. You gotta keep quiet about Chibs' gift, ok?"

"I promise."

Jax was joking around with the guys at the shop when his phone went off.

"Hello?"

"Jax, it's Chucky. You should get back to the house. Holly's not doing so good right now."

"What do you mean? What happened?"

"She got a call from her uncle. Her grandpa didn't make it through the entire flight. The whole family's gonna be delayed a few hours."

"Shit. We're on our way. Keep an eye on the kids."

"Nero came by to check up on Holly before she got the call. He's with her now, but she's asking for you."

"Alright. We're on our way."

He hung up and looked over at Chibs as he stood up, sighing deeply.

"Holly's grandpa died on the plane."

He walked out to the bikes with the guys, climbing on and heading home, walking in when he got there, seeing Nero come downstairs.

"She's not doing good, mano. This hit her really hard."

He put his keys down before taking his cut off, going upstairs, seeing Holly in the playroom, tears streaming down her face as she held onto Lilia's pink teddy bear, sniffling. He ran his hand over his face before going over to her, softly calling her name, helping her up and holding her close as she cried into his chest. He let her cry for a few minutes before he picked her up and carried her into their room, laying her on the bed, staying quiet as she cried into him, rubbing her back until she fell asleep. He covered her up with the comforter, kissing her head before going downstairs.

"How is she, Jackie?"

"Brokenhearted. She cried herself to sleep."

"Shit."

"Yeah. Chucky, I want you to keep cooking. I'm sure the recipes are still in there. She'll want to make sure that everything's going according to plan, no matter what. Nero, will you see you if a couple of the girls would be willing to help out?"

"Yeah, mano. I'll call Lyla."

"Thanks."

He looked at Bobby when he clapped his back.

"I'll call over to Wahewa. See if they'll hold the land for us for a couple more days."

"Thanks, Bobby."

"What else do you want us to do, brother?"

"There's nothing else we can really do until she wakes up and everyone lands."

Holly stood outside the hangar with Jax and the guys, letting Jax hold onto her. She was still sad, but holding it together better than she thought she would. She looked over at Chibs as the planes landed, taking his hand.

"What's up, lass?"

"I have a surprise for you. But I have to blindfold you first."

"Ok?"

She took off the scarf she was wearing, tying it around his eyes.

"Can you see anything out of it?"

"No. What's going on, lass?"

"I arranged for something special for your birthday and I want it to be a surprise til the very last second."

She watched as the Kings stepped off the first, waiting til Fiona and Kerrienne were standing not too far away before she took off the blindfold. She smiled as he spotted them, running over and hugging his girls tightly. She looked over as Gaalen walked off the plane last, trying to run away when he realized was going to happen, not getting very far until Happy and Juice caught up with him, dragging him over to the van and throwing him inside. She greeted all the Kings before introducing them to her family. She let them talk until the Kings took off to their lodgings before she hugged her uncle, trying not to cry again.

"Mi dispiace per il nonno. Almeno lui è di nuovo con la nonna e la mamma."

"He wanted to see you again. He told me to tell you that they're watching over you."

She nodded, tearing up as she smiled a bit and looked up at the sky, blinking back her tears. She looked back at him as she cleared her throat.

"Come on, zio. We have a dinner to get to."

Holly woke up around midnight, hearing her phone going off, sitting up to answer it, seeing Tara's number.

"What the fuck?"

"I know, Holly. And I'm sorry. But Wayne and Nero brought Wendy in. They found her in her apartment, high and passed out."

"It's 12:25 in the morning. Why the fuck are you calling me?"
"Wayne said he checked around and you were the last person that went to visit Wendy. He was hoping you could fill in the blanks."

"Tell him that he's not a cop anymore and the next time he wakes me up this early I'll kick his ass."

"Will you come and talk to him? Please?"

She sighed deeply in frustration.

"Fine. I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Thank you, Holly."

She hung up without a word, getting out of bed and putting on a pair of flip flops before grabbing her keys and purse before leaving, driving to St. Thomas. She walked in and looked around for Wayne, going over when she saw him, glaring at him and Nero.

"I have 4 kids at home, a fiance that doesn't know I'm gone and family that flew in from Italy that's crashed in my basement. It's 12:45 at night. Why the fuck am I here, Wayne?"

"I wanna know what happened to Wendy?"
"I haven't talked to Wendy in weeks. I don't know what happened to her. And this conversation could've waited until tomorrow after I've had my coffee."

"Why do you think Wendy fell off the wagon?"

"I don't fucking know, Wayne! Like I just said, I haven't talked to her in weeks. In person or over the phone. I don't know why she fell off the wagon and at almost 1 in the fucking morning, I can't bring myself to care. I have other shit going on in my life that don't include dealing with an ex junkie that wanted that high again. She's not my problem."

She looked over at Nero as he stepped over.

"Relax, chiquita. Take a breath. We just wanna understand why she bit that bullet."

"I don't fucking know. The last time I talked to her, she was fine. Sad, but fine. Between then and now, I've had other shit on my mind. Like helping my fiance get the club out of the shit that puts targets on their backs and the backs of their families. Like being a goddamned lawyer. Like being a mother to 4 kids. Wendy's a big girl. She doesn't need someone to hold her hand and pull her away from the shit she knows is gonna hurt her."

"What was the last thing you two talked about?"

"I don't have to tell you shit, Wayne. It involved something that you have nothing to do with."

"Please tell us, Holly."

She sighed deeply, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"A few weeks ago Jax and I had been talking about our wills and what would happen to the kids if something happened to us and I told Wendy that I might be looking at her to be guardian so the kids wouldn't grow up the same way Jax and I did. And then Jax decided to move the club away from guns and I told her that we weren't looking at her for that anymore but if she wanted to get to know Abel, I was being nice and giving her another chance to do that. And then I never heard back from her."

"And that's it?"

"You're not a cop anymore, Wayne. Quit pushing the issue."

She took a deep breath before looking back at him.

"I just lost my grandfather. I don't have much room in my mind for anything else other than my family and my job. Because those are things I can do something about. I can't do anything about Wendy because she's a grown woman who's made her choices in life. As long as they don't hurt the people I care about, I don't give a shit. I can't afford to right now."

She walked away without another word, going out to her van and drove home. She went back upstairs when she got home, seeing Jax coming out of Lilia's room.

"Is she ok?"

"Yeah. She needed a diaper change. Where'd you go? I woke up and you weren't in bed."

"Wendy fell off the wagon and Wayne and Nero found here. Wayne started playing cop and tried to press me for answers."

"Why would you know anything?"

"I don't know anything."

"I'm sorry, babe. Is there anything I can do?"

"No. I'm too awake to go back to sleep but I don't wanna be awake right now."

"I don't know how to help you right now, Holly. I want to, but I can't."

She sighed and looked at him before sitting down on the stairs, hearing him go put Lilia back in bed before going to sit back down next to her, feeling herself tear up as he wrapped his arm around her.

"I feel like I shouldn't be so sad. But I am. And I have been for a while. I've just gotten better at channeling it into other areas of my life. Making sure you're not as sad as me. Making sure the kids are happy and taken care of. I know in my heart that this deal with my family and the Irish will work out and you'll be able to push the heat off the club for good. But I've gotten so used to the shit that comes with the heat of the guns and I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. Gaalen blew up the clubhouse because he wanted to make a point of letting you know how pissed he was at you for going against him. We got lucky that nobody got hurt. This time. But what happens next time? What happens when someone else comes along to try to take the club down and they do something worse? It would break my heart if something happened to you or the guys. But if something happened to the kids? It would kill me. And I'm not saying that figuratively. You and the kids are my life. If something took any of you away from it would destroy my reason for living. I would have no reason to get out of bed in the morning. No reason to keep living. I know that sounds codependent and like something you'd hear in some stupid teen movie, but it's the truth. I used to have nightmares of losing you when you went on runs. Even when you were with Tara or Wendy. I would force myself to clean or shop or do something to help your psychotic mother and I wouldn't stop until you came home. These last few years, that hasn't changed. My focus just changed because of the shit I was going through. I don't worry as much about you anymore when you go runs, but I worry about myself and the kids more. How would they take it if one day you never came home? How would I be able to function on my own without you? I'd have the guys, but it's not the same. Chibs is a great guy, but he's not you. Opie's grown up with me like you have, but I don't love him like I love you. There are plenty of people out there that I could go to, but I'm already in first place. How could I ever settle for second best?"

She sniffled, leaning into his touch when he cupped her face, wiping her tears away with his thumbs, hearing him sniffle as he teared up listening to her.

"All of that shit you're feeling? I've felt it too, babe. When we were younger and you went from being my sister to being who I wanted to be with, it scared the shit out of me. Up until that change, to me you were the sweet little girl that used to run around the clubhouse in pigtails and those frilly skirts, trying to make all of the adults believe in the magic you saw in the world. The same magic that you gave to our kids. I wanted to be with you, but I knew what kind of heat the club came with and I wanted to save you from the life of an old lady. Watching me leave you to go to prison or watching me leave to go on a run, leaving you to wonder what condition I would be in when I returned or if I returned at all. I didn't wanna subject to that. I knew when I went from being a brother to you to being the guy you wanted to be with. I didn't want you to turn into my mother so I put my love for you into Tara and then Wendy. But it didn't feel right. It hurt worse than I thought it would seeing you those fuckers. When Greg put you in that coma…...He would've been my first kill. And I wouldn't have batted an eye. And that scared me even more. I would drink until I passed out when I wasn't in your hospital room. Because I didn't like the feeling that I was killing you. I didn't give up hope that you would come back to me, but I was afraid of what I would've done if you didn't. No matter where we were, I always hoped that, even if I kept making the mistake of not being with you, I would always see that smile on your face. When we finally got together, I felt whole. But there was always that voice in my head that worried how much it would hurt you if something happened to me or how much it would fucking kill me if something happened to you because of me. And then it did. We sold guns and you got raped because of it. We trusted Cameron and Abel got taken from your arms. I got tired of feeling like I was the reason you were getting hurt. But I couldn't let you go. I couldn't let you go find someone else. The day I could, I made myself sick. I drank myself stupid the second I was alone. Knowing I had single handedly done the one thing I swore to myself that I would never do to you….But you were the voice in my head pushing me towards this change. You were my motivation to change my life and my club. My motivation to give the kids something better. I want us to get married and grow old and grey, watching our kids get married and have kids of their own. But where the club was headed before this change, I wouldn't have made it to 45 let alone old. You and our kids would be watching me get buried. And that didn't sit right with me. I'd rather have Clay and my mother alive than allow you to hurt that badly. You're not alone in this, Holly. You're not the only one putting all of their emotional chips into the pot."

Holly bit her lip and sniffled before kissing him. She took his hand and led him back into the bedroom, kissing him softly and passionately after taking off her shirt.

"Show me how much you love me….."