Chapter Nine

Bella isn't completely wrong.

When news breaks of our 'romance,' there's quite a bit of interest in me and, inevitably, my family. It's a lot, but it is quick, borderline painless, and then the interest sort of falls away. Bella says that it'll come in waves. They might even use our new relationship to derail her father's campaign somehow but, for right now, I suppose that the very idea of me is enough. Maybe they were expecting someone more exciting than plain old Edward Masen.

Not that I'm complaining. Bella doesn't seem to either. I don't really have skeletons in my closet, save for a dead father and an uncle in jail.

I'm just glad that we recruited before the prospect of Bella in our house was a thing. It's not as if she visits me all that often, but she does visit me. She normally doesn't stay for long. Even though there haven't been many news stories about our relationship; it doesn't mean that there haven't been any. It's best that we not give them things to talk about, and Bella's staying the night would just be too juicy to pass up.

Bella and I do get to go on our first date. It's an odd evening, to say the least. It's just that it wasn't only the two of us. I made plans for a rather quiet night and, well, it was anything but. I'm just glad that we finally got it out of the way, so to speak.

The thing is that she had to beg Harry and Billy to let me drive her in the OB, and I think that Harry might have actually given in until he just vehemently refused. So, really, it was a group date. I suppose, all the talk about us has put him on alert, and I can't say that I blame him. Bella attracts attention just by being.

Even I'm on alert. It's amazing what just knowing that Bella would date one of her fellow students can do to the brains of adolescent males. It truly amazes me that going off the market has made people all the more forward. I suppose that I'm glad we're not hiding. I just, well, still wish people didn't know. There are lots of people who don't have nice things to say, about her, about me; about both of us.

"Are you jealous?" Bella asks me one evening, as she lies on my bed, an open textbook in her lap.

"What?"

"Edward Masen," she says, her eyes narrowing. "Will you stop reading that rubbish?"

I can't stop. My eyes are focused on the computer screen in front of me. "Bella, have you seen this?" I ask, disbelief in my tone. "I mean, just how many marriage proposals do you get in a day?"

She sighs dramatically. "Oh my God, please will you stop?" she groans. "You weren't like this before?"

"Well, before, I didn't have to deal with the Internet thinking that you can do better than me," I say with a huff. "Do you really think that my nose is crooked?"

"Edward," she groans again, shifting her textbook to the side. "Come here."

"No."

"Come. Here."

With yet another huff, I stand up and make my way to the foot of my bed. I stand and stare at her for a moment in complete and utter wonder. Seriously, how did I get so lucky? She looks flushed, and I determine that I never want her to leave my bed.

She crooks her finger at me, beckoning me towards her.

I can't resist. I climb onto the bed and crawl towards her, and then over her. She pulls me down onto her and wraps her arms around my shoulders, her legs trapping my left one. My entire body relaxes immediately.

"I don't think your nose is crooked," she whispers into my ear. "I actually think you're a rather beautiful boy, Edward Masen."

I lift my head to look at her. "Beautiful?"

She nods.

"Try again."

"So needy."

I laugh. "Bella," I whine.

"I do think you're rather beautiful, Edward," she says. "And super smokin' hot."

"That's better."

She kisses my cheek. "It's your eyes though," she lets me know. "And your amazing sex hair. Your, what, chiselled jaw. Your red ears; they're actually my favourite part about you." She brings my head down and kisses my left ear. "It's also your fingers."

"My fingers?"

"They look like music fingers."

I gently kiss the underside of her chin. "I don't know what that means."

"They're long, slender, and just the kind of hands that are made for music."

I stare at her for a moment. "Do you know?"

"Do I know what?"

"I haven't done a lot of things since my dad died, and one of those things is playing music," I tell her. "I used to play piano like it was religion. I even used to compose."

She smiles at me, and it's that bright smile that practically lights up the room. She's kept it hidden for so long. "Will I ever get to hear some?" she asks.

I blink. "I don't know."

"Someday?"

I can at least agree to that. "Someday."

We kiss for a moment. Okay, maybe for more than a moment. I just can't seem to get over her perfect mouth, and the things that it can do to me. When she pulls away, she looks thoughtful.

"What?"

"You said that you haven't done a lot of things since your dad passed," she reminds me; "what else is on the list?"

I swallow thickly. "Well, umm, I haven't been able to listen to an Elvis Presley song," I tell her. "He was a firm favourite. I also haven't been able to visit my dad's grave. I just, I can't bring myself to do it."

She just nods in understanding.

"And I also haven't had sex."

It's almost comical the way that Bella stiffens beneath me. "But, Edward, it's been years."

"I know," I say. I don't really know what explanation I have, but I have to say something, surely. I mean, I don't want her to think I don't want sex, because I do. I really do. I mean, have you seen her? "It's just, well, I was with my girlfriend, Makenna, when he died. We'd been together for almost a year by then. She was my first and only." I laugh nervously. "After he died, everything just shifted into perspective, you know? My priorities changed dramatically, and she didn't like where she'd been relegated to. We broke up shortly after, and that was that.

"For a long while, girls have been on the back burner. I was more concerned with my grades and paying the bills at that point in my life. It doesn't mean I didn't date. Remember Tanya? That was probably the worst decision of my life. All she wanted was to get into my bed, and I later found out that the Deltas have this kind of scoreboard about who can sleep with the most boys from any one fraternity, the same way that some frats do with a certain sorority. I was not going to be one of those boys.

"So I was happily single, just getting along through my days until I met you and, well, I fell hard. You're in me, Bella, and I wouldn't have it any other way."

She raises her eyebrows. "Is that your truly roundabout way of telling me that you want to sleep with me?"

I cough from my surprise. "Uh... yes?"

"I see."

"What do you see?"

"I'm not going to sleep with you," she says, the corners of her mouth turning upwards slightly. Her mouth moves to say the word 'yet,' but she stops herself. This is part of a discussion that I know we're going to have to have some day. Soon, I hope. "Do you think you can handle that?"

"Bella, I told you that my favourite part of our dream on New Year's night was holding you close," I remind her. "I think I'll manage just fine."

"Is it something that you expect now that we're together?"

"I don't expect anything," I tell her. "I just want to be with you. I just want to love you."

She brings my head down and kisses me thoroughly. She still hasn't told me that she loves me, but that's okay. As far as dating-wise goes; it hasn't been all that long, and I'm definitely not going to push her. She'll tell me when she's ready, right?

"Edward?"

"Hmm?"

"Your phone is ringing."

My phone? I climb off of her, and the bed, in search of it. I find it on my desk and, for a moment, I panic. "Uh, Bella, it's a video call from my mom," I tell the girl on my bed. "Are you - Can I - Can we - "

She eventually cuts in. "Answer the phone, Edward."

So I do. My smile instantly splits my face when my mom's face shows up on my screen. "Hi, Mom."

"Hello, sweetheart."

I don't know why I blush, but I do. I mean, maybe it's because she just called me 'sweetheart' in front of my girlfriend, but I don't know. "Bella's here."

Cue the squeal. "Let me see her," she says happily; "Oh, this is so exciting!"

I look at Bella, and I'm surprised by her facial expression. "Are you nervous?" I mouth to her.

She jerks her head no, but I can tell that she is.

I can't help my laugh as I make my way back to her and climb onto the bed. I shift into position right beside her and shift my phone so that my mom can see both of us. "You're okay," I whisper to Bella, trying to be assuring, and then I address my mom. "Mom, this is Isabella Swan. Bella, meet my mother, Esme Masen."

There's just the slightest bit of hesitancy from both of them, but then my mom starts speaking; and I'm basically forgotten about. They talk endlessly, their sentences running onto each other's. It's a little frightening, but it still fills me with sublime warmth.

"Is he even paying attention?" I hear my mom ask.

My eyes snap to the phone. "Oh, are you talking to me now?" I ask, and they both laugh.

"I should probably get going," my mom says. "It's getting late."

"How's Riley?" I ask her.

"Well." Her quick reply tells me that it's the truth. "We all are, sweetheart. Please don't worry so much."

She knows that her words will do nothing. "I'll try to come out the first weekend in February," I tell her.

She lets out a small sigh. "Okay, honey."

The three of us spend the next few minutes trying to say goodbye. My mom passes on some parting advice that has Bella and me both blushing like schoolchildren, and then she hangs up.

"Sorry about that," I mutter, as I set my phone down on my night stand. When I look back at her; Bella is smiling that brilliant smile at me, and I'm floored. "What?" I ask her.

She nibbles on her bottom lip for a moment. "I love your mom," she declares, and I have to laugh. It really is almost impossible not to love her. Though, I have to admit that I'm a little jealous. She loves my mom, but not me.

"I think she's quite fond of you too," I tell her.

"I was worried," she confesses, snuggling into my side. "I wanted her to like me."

"You had nothing to worry about."

"I guess, I thought that she might resent me for making us wait as long as we did for this." She shakes her head. "You're her son. That makes sense, right?"

It does make sense. "I think everything from before can be set aside, because she knows just how happy I am."

"Are you?" she asks, looking at me through her lashes. "Are you happy, Edward?"

"I'm trying to be," I say, my voice smaller that intended. It's hard to stay happy when everything that's happening is happening, but I really am trying. "I know it's what she wants for me."

For a moment, Bella says and does nothing. Then, she climbs onto me, straddling my legs and forcing me to look at her. She has my face in her hands, and I don't think I've ever felt safer. This girl is so important. She is everything.

"I want you to know something," Bella says, her fingers tracing the lines of my face. "Something important."

"I'm listening."

"Even from the short time that I spoke to your mom, I know that she's proud of you, Edward." She kisses my lips gently. "It's plain to see. She absolutely loves you."

I just nod, my gaze never straying from her face.

"And I absolutely love you too."

The end of January flies by.

It isn't that I get used to all the stares, or the incessant questions about my relationship with Bella - from complete strangers, might I add - but it all pales in comparison to how it feels to be with Bella. She's worried, of course, that it's all a distraction from my work and from my life, but I constantly have to tell her that I'm okay.

I make sure that I never say the words: "I can handle it," to her. It seems to bring up bad memories, or she just can't bring herself to believe the words. So I don't say them. I rather tell her that I love her every opportunity I can. It's my favourite thing to do because I absolutely adore making her blush. And she does, every time. Every time.

We're going about our days one at a time, figuring everything out as we go along. What helps is the fact that there are places on campus that we can go to escape it all. As long as we stay out of the truly 'public' spaces that reporters are allowed; we're pretty much left alone. It makes the campus feel that much smaller, but I'm done complaining. It gets me nowhere, I've learned. The hard way, might I add.

Bella's moods start to depend on whether we're accosted during the day. I can't imagine what it must be like for her on a normal day, but with the campaign and with me; it must be that bit more. She spends most of her time in her room, in class, in the library or in my room. On my bed. Tempting me.

Now that I can kiss her whenever I want to, it's difficult not to. It's one of the reasons why I usually leave her to my bed, and remain seated in my desk chair. I'm a safe enough distance from her to think clearly enough to work on my upcoming assignment report.

But there is something that's niggling at me, begging to be addressed. It doesn't take me all that long to work up the courage to discuss it, because this is what we do now. We talk, in a real, full disclosure way, and I love it. As hard as it was to get to this point, I can't help but feel as if it were all worth it.

"Bella?"

She looks up from her novel, her eyes slightly unfocused as she zeroes in on me. "Hmm?"

"Can I ask you a question?"

She can probably hear the severity in my voice, because she sets her book aside and gives me her full attention. "What's up?"

I take a breath, steeling myself. "I don't intend to overstep, but, umm, have you actually spoken to your father about all of this?"

"All of what?"

"This, Bella," I say. "About how you feel about all this added attention because of the campaign, about how you feel about the fact that he's running again, and about how you feel about me."

Bella drops her gaze. This is a topic that we've avoided for quite some time, but it's something we need to talk about. She's talked to her mother about her worries, but not her father. And I know that she doesn't have a bad relationship with her father. It's just strained at the moment, and the last thing I want is to add to it.

I stand up from my desk and move to kneel on the floor next to where she's reclined on my bed. I take hold of one of her hands and tug until she's looking at me. "I mean, I assume that the President has a cellphone, right?"

She lets out an unexpected laugh, and I hold back my grin. "He does," she says; "but it's one of those old things that can't be hacked. He absolutely loves it." She manages a smile. "He's never really been good with technology."

I just nod, because I can understand that. My dad was pretty useless with it as well. Only Tori had enough patience for him whenever technology got the better of him. In my mind, I acknowledge the fact that I'm more inclined towards Bella talking to her father because I'm unable to talk to mine. It's nothing that I have control over, and I'm convinced that she already knows as well.

Eventually, Bella sighs. "What exactly am I supposed to tell him, Edward?"

I still haven't managed to get over how it feels to hear her say my name. Truly, it has to be illegal or something. "The truth," I offer.

"It'll just make him feel awful," she counters, taking her hand out of mine and shifting her body so she's facing me full-on. "He already has enough to worry about. It's not exactly easy doing his job, you know?"

"But you're his daughter."

"And he's the President of the United States," she argues. "I'm sorry, but that's just the way it is."

"You told me that he made sure that you knew that he was a father first," I press. "Bella?"

"Edward."

I sigh. "Will you at least think about it?"

She presses her lips together, before she nods. She takes hold of my hand again, and pulls me towards her. As soon as she kisses me, our conversation is forgotten, and our work is properly discarded for the time being.

I climb onto the bed, and settle on top of her, moulding my body against hers. Her arms hug my shoulders, her fingers take claim of my hair, and she locks her ankles behind my back. She has me right where she wants me, and I wouldn't ever dream of moving.

Though I do.

I grind my hips against hers, and her answering gasp - which turns into a moan - spurs me on. This is territory for us yet explored, but I'm just going to roll with it. She was very clear when she told me she wouldn't sleep with me, and I'm willing to wait until she's sure.

Because I am.

I am so very sure.

Though, I'm quite certain that I don't want our first time to be in a frat house. Bella deserves more that that, definitely.

Before things go any further, there's a knock on my door that has me scrambling off of Bella and up on my feet in next to no time, almost relieved for the distraction. She gives me an odd look, but I ignore it, as I move towards my door.

I unlock and open it, poking my head through to spy Jasper looking rather sheepish.

"Hope I'm not interrupting anything," he says.

"Shut up," I hiss. "What is it?"

"Uh, Harry's asking for Bella," he says. "Apparently she's not answering her phone."

I'm suddenly keenly aware that my ears are red. There's a reason she wasn't answering her phone, and that reason is me. I was practically dry-humping the First Daughter five seconds ago. "Okay," I say.

He grins at me. "Okay."

"Shut up," I hiss again, and then slam the door.

Bella is already sitting up on the edge of my bed when I turn back to look at her. She's putting on her shoes, her phone just to her left, and I'm not going to tell her to stop. She keeps giving me a curious look, but she says nothing.

I help her with her coat when she stands up. "What's he saying?" I ask, referring to Harry.

She takes a deep breath. "My brother's here," she tells me.

That gets my attention. "Which one?" I ask.

"Seth." She shakes her head. "He's the only one who would come all the way to Chicago and not tell me about it."

I blink. Seth. My sister would kill me if I didn't at least - what? What am I supposed to do? "Tori thinks he's hot," I blurt out, and Bella bursts out laughing.

"Is that something you want me to tell him?"

I shrug. "Just, you know, if Tori ever asks; make sure she knows that I mentioned it. But maybe just not the way I did."

"I'll remember that."

I kiss her forehead, and she gives me that curious look again. My mind goes back and forth between asking her about it or not, but then decide that I'll regret it if I don't. "Bella, is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine," she says, but I know it isn't. There's something on her mind, but she's decided that now isn't the time to discuss it.

As a result, I let it be. I'm an actual professional when it comes to having patience concerning Isabella Swan. I deserve a doctorate or something.

"You should probably bear in mind that Seth will want to meet you."

My eyes widen. "What?"

"It's probably why he's here," she says. "The idiot."

I step back. "Bella?"

"My father probably sent him," she says. "Or my mother. Or he sent himself. Truly, Edward, he's a complete idiot."

I just nod.

"But, then again, you're safer with Seth," she informs me. "Sam and Jared would probably eat you for breakfast."

I stand up straight. "I could take them."

"Sure you could."

I puff out my chest. "Watch me."

Her features soften, and it looks like she's making another decision about me. She usually does this, and it's something that I quite love. It's the reason we're even here right now. It's the reason we're together. "Is that something you would want?" she asks. "To meet my family?"

"Is that something you want?"

"To meet yours? Or for you to meet mine?"

"Both."

She takes a deep breath. "That's big, isn't it?"

I nod.

"We have time, Edward," she says.

It's the first time that either of us has mentioned the prospect of our future. One that we're hopefully going to be spending together. I sigh. It's also a future in which I'm going to lose my mother.

Maybe we don't have that much time after all.

Bella reaches up and kisses the corner of my mouth. "I should get going," she says. "Keep your phone on, all right," she tells me. "Maybe we can do coffee tomorrow?"

"I'm free after Medical Imaging," I remind her. "So, any time after two o'clock."

"Aren't you tutoring at three?"

I glance over my shoulder and my timetable pinned up on my wall. "Wednesday," I say thoughtfully. "Uh, yes, I think. Justin and Hannah swapped times this week. I can't remember if I'm off or not." I make a mental note to check with my students. "Are you trying to tell me that one hour won't be enough?"

"Not if it's his attention to interrogate you."

I raise my eyebrows. "Is it?"

"Try not to worry about it too much," she says.

"That's not helping."

"I thought you said you could take them," she counters teasingly, and I feel myself relax slightly. I don't want to worry about this, so I don't. It's no secret that I have so many other things to worry about.

I smile at her. "Can we all just take a moment to acknowledge that Bella Swan knows my timetable off by heart?" I practically sing, and she blushes. She kisses me one more time, letting her lips linger, before she slips out my door. Apparently she doesn't need me to walk her out anymore, but I still stand on the landing and watch her exit the house. Who knows what could happen between my bedroom and the front door?

After Bella leaves, I return to my work. It's been quite difficult balancing everything, but I think I'm doing well. Bella acknowledges the importance of my school work, and I appreciate her for it. Naturally, her course load isn't as intense as mine is, but she works hard in her own way. Her core courses are leaning towards Pre-Law, but she's kept her options open. I admire the fact that she might want to teach, but I imagine she's worried about how that's all affected because of her First Daughter status.

She doesn't want the privilege that comes with her father's position when it comes to looking for jobs. I have to remind her that she's only in her first year; she's got plenty of time to worry about all of that at a later time. It seems to me that she's constantly worrying about everything.

I want to ease it all for her, and I get the feeling that she wants to do the same for me as well. We're quite the pair, aren't we?

With Seth in town, I don't hear much from Bella until she calls me to schedule that coffee. She sounds calm, even a little carefree, and it makes me wonder about who she is when she's with her family. She just seems so different; as if the burdens of being the First Daughter have lifted. I feel a twang of hurt that she hasn't managed to be that way when she's with me.

We have things to work through, that's for sure, but I'm convinced we'll get there one day. I know there will be a day when all of this is just easy.

As discussed, I meet Bella and Seth for coffee on Wednesday after Medical Imaging lets out. Because of the switch in tutoring, I have a maximum of two hours before I meet with Tanner - the little bitch who managed to weasel his way onto my roster - and then head to a shift at the library.

We meet at a place called Cassis, and it's quaint, quiet, and just the kind of place that two of the First Children could empty out if they so chose to. Marcus picks me up in Fraternity Quad. Apparently, I'm not allowed to drive myself. I think that Harry just hates my car, though I can't imagine why. It's orange, and it's fucking beautiful.

Jasper loves that I rarely get to drive myself to meet Bella these days, because he has the keys more often than I do. We still haven't spoken about the entire Alice and Jessica situation, but he's not acting like a caveman anymore. I can't help but think that my mother ended up speaking to him. The woman has a way of just shifting everything into perspective. I wonder at what point he'll realise that Alice is the best thing to ever happen to him.

If I'm being honest, I'm a little nervous about meeting Bella's brother. I can talk a good talk, but my hands are shaking, and I'm certain that the tips of my ears are red. Bella's smile when she spots me is indicative of that. She even tugs on one of my ears when she hugs me hello.

Seth, admittedly, doesn't look all that much like Bella. Their hair colour is probably the only resemblance. He looks like a child in a man's body, constantly bouncing or something of the other. He wouldn't be able to be intimidating if he tried, because he has such a baby-face. He's taller than Bella. Hell, he's even taller than me, with shining hazel eyes and a schoolboy smile. I can see why my sister likes him.

I'm borderline horrified when Bella does bring up Tori, but Seth finds it amusing. He even offers to call her, and I tell him that my sister might pass out. He calls anyway, and there is so much squealing on the other end of the line. I can't help how making my sister's day spreads warmth right through me, and I feel Bella entwine her fingers with mine under the table.

Seth doesn't ask probing questions about my life and family. I think he must already known, though I don't think that Bella was the one to tell him. He does ask about my likes and dislikes, and we fall into a huge discussion about baseball. He even gets a little giddy when I mention that Jasper Whitlock is my best friend. The blond has a very promising career ahead of him, and even Seth Swan knows it.

All in all, I think that it goes well. I don't make a fool of myself, and Seth seems to like me.

Bella assures me of that much when she texts me later that night. I know she waits until after I've left the library, mainly because she likes to give me the opportunity to call her if I want to, which is something I can't do in the library.

But now I can, and I call her.

"Hey, Hot Stuff."

I chuckle. She's been trying out all sorts of nicknames for me, trying to find one that fits, but they're all rather terrible. I've only ever been called Edward. "How is the most beautiful girl in America?"

Her blush is practically audible. "Just dropped Seth off at the airstrip," she tells me. "I'm headed to you now."

"Uh, I'm sorry, but my other girlfriend is already on her way," I joke.

Bella's laugh is warm and inviting, and I think that we've taken a step forward. But then she hits me with those curious and odd looks when she arrives, and I can't help wondering what's going on with her. Things always seem fine until, well, hands go places.

So I pull back. I have to control myself.

She was very clear, wasn't she?

I don't know. My memory's getting a little hazy these days. The girl's too intoxicating.

I'm busy with my concept map on muscle cell structures when Bella surprises me with a visit. She looks thoughtful about something, as she closes my bedroom door behind her, but it's the fact that she doesn't give me a kiss hello that gets my attention.

"Okay," I say, turning in my chair to look at her. She's pacing the length of my bedroom. "Bella, what's wrong?"

She stops suddenly and looks at me. "You told me that you love me."

My brow furrows. "I did. And I do."

"So why haven't you tried to sleep with me yet?"

To say that I'm caught off guard by her question would be a gross understatement. "Wait, what?" I sputter. What is happening right now?

"Because I don't believe that you were waiting until you thought you loved me," she continues. "Despite how wonderful you are; you are a guy, and guys just don't do that."

I stand up and move towards her, realising that she's probably spent quite some time thinking about this. Which is equal parts confusing and terrifying. Did I miss something? Where is this even coming from? "Bella?"

"Why haven't you tried? I mean, don't you at least want to?"

What the hell? I look right into her eyes, my one hand blindly reaching for one of hers. "Okay, umm, before I answer that, can we both just acknowledge that you told me that you're not going to sleep with me, right?"

She nods.

Jesus. Clearly, she believes that that stance shouldn't have stopped me from at least trying. Girls are so fucking complicated sometimes.

"Also, I suppose I've just been more concerned with getting into your head and heart, more than into your pants," I tell her. It's something of the truth. "I didn't think it bothered you so much."

"It doesn't," she says. "Not really."

"But you were curious," I say, reading her facial expression. "It's not that I haven't thought about it. You're right about the fact that I am a guy, and I have a truly beautiful girlfriend. I'd be an idiot if I didn't think about it."

"Are you really not trying because I told you that I won't sleep with you?"

I reach for her waist and pull her close to me. "Bella, is this your trying to tell me that you want me to start trying because, by all means, I will," I tell her. "Believe me, I'm always game if you are."

She slips her arms around my neck, reaches up and kisses me gently. "I suppose that we could talk about it."

"What exactly do we have to talk about?"

Her arms tighten around my neck. "Several things, I think. One of which is the reason I was so adamant about not sleeping with you in the first place."

I raise my eyebrows. "Was?"

She laughs lightly, kisses me once more, and then escapes my embrace to sit down on my bed. She shifts around until she's comfortable, and then pats the bed beside her, inviting me to sit with her.

I glance at my computer for a moment, and then step over to it. I make sure that I've saved my document, and then I move to sit down next to her. I feel nervous all of a sudden. Once I'm settled, Bella takes hold of one of my hands and starts playing with my fingers. My music fingers.

"Your hands are shaking," she says, smiling at me. "Why are you nervous?"

"Maybe I should go first," I suggest.

"Why?"

"Because I don't think I can concentrate right now," I say.

She looks thoughtful for a moment, before she nods. "I'm listening."

I take a deep breath. "I already told you that I haven't been with anyone since high school. Makenna's the only one I've ever been with, Bella, and I loved her very much. I mean, I'm very aware of the fact that I was young - we both were - but I remember thinking that I could be happy with this girl." I shake my head. "Makenna had other plans though.

"Well, anyway, we went away for spring break our senior year with a few of our friends, and that's when it happened." I cringe because I sound so blasé about the entire thing. It was a special night for us, but I'm sure that Bella wants to be spared the details.

I've already told her most of this, but I think it's important that I tell her my story, before she tells me hers. "We weren't together for very long after that. When my dad died, my life changed. She couldn't understand, and I wasn't willing to help her. We broke up, and I haven't been with anyone since. I've never really wanted to, until you."

She blushes. Of course she blushes. I can't have expected anything else.

"So that's it," I say. "There were a few things that I did with Tanya, but that's it." It's weird, I know. Boys my age have much longer lists. I even suspect that Bella has a longer list than I do, but I'm trying not to think about it too much.

Maybe I'm just too much of a romantic, or maybe I'm just not that interested in sex. Okay, that's a lie. Bella and I both know the truth of that. Suddenly, I'm aware of the meaning behind Bella's curious looks. They usually occur after a heated make-out session; sessions that usually end because of me and my sense of what? Why was I drawing it all to an end so quickly?

Maybe I'm terrified that, if I pushed too much, too fast or too hard; she would leave me. I don't think I could survive yet another person leaving me.

Bella clears her throat, drawing my attention. "Will you still love me after I tell you mine?" she asks, her voice taking on a quality that I've never heard before. She sounds small, even vulnerable, and I can't equate it with the Bella Swan that I know and love.

As a result, I bypass attempting a joke. "Yes," I say, making sure that she knows that I mean it. Because I do. I'm sure there's nothing she can say that'll change that.

She gives me a skeptical look, but I just hold her stare. Eventually, she lets out a long sigh, and then starts to speak. "After Jake," she begins; "after all of that, I kind of, umm, self-destructed." Her tone of voice lifts slightly, as if she's not too sure that's the right word, but she still rolls with it. "I loved him and, I think, like you, I thought we could make it, you know? So, when we didn't, I just; I never wanted to feel that way again.

"Washington was different. I was new, and the kids at school took to me the way that they would to something shiny and new. It's weird; people either already hate you or they already love you. I think I made friends quickly. Seth was better at it anyway. As a Senior, I think he just had it better than I did. Not that I really cared. I spent a lot of time not caring, and I channelled that into bad decisions.

"I dated a lot of boys, just to get under my father's skin. I went through them by the week, doing things and trying to numb what my life now was. When I met Alistair, things kind of changed. He was, how do you say, dangerous. His grandfather was a Supreme Court judge, and there were a lot of things going on politically. I knew my dad wouldn't like him. I didn't like him half the time, but we knew we were both using each other. He got to date the First Daughter, and I got to piss off my family. I was never going to sleep with him, and he knew it. He tried a few times, but I said no. Alistair didn't understand why I wasn't giving in, but his best friend, Liam, at least tried to.

"Because, really, I didn't even understand it. Maybe I just thought that it would have been Jake who finally took my virginity, and a subconscious part of me wanted to feel something for the boy I slept with. I don't know. Anyway, Liam was sweet and caring, and he understood. I never saw any of it coming, you know? I didn't know that there were people who did that. I was so young, and so naive, Edward, and I'm so ashamed by it all."

I don't really understand what she's trying to tell me, but I don't ask her to explain. I'm sure I'll understand by the time she's finished.

"He wooed himself into my heart, and eventually into my bed. I mean, I should have known it was all too good to be true. It was near impossible for someone as sweet as Liam to be best friends with a dickhead like Alistair, and I should have known."

Suddenly, I think I realise what happened.

"He'd taken me to his father's cabin and, by the time we made it back to school, everyone knew. He'd scored with the Swan Queen. Apparently, Alistair orchestrated the entire thing - the bastard!" She drops her gaze. "Th - there was a picture, that ended up being circulated through the school until my dad found out. I've never seen him stamp down so hard on anything. I swear, he had the school shaking in their boots, and the picture, I'm convinced, was scrubbed from this Earth. It was at that point that our relationship really took a turn for the worse. I don't think we can salvage it."

There is a moment, where she just stares at her hands, and I want nothing more than to put my arms around her and never let go, but I know she won't want that. Not yet, anyway.

"I think my dad thinks I did it on purpose," she says. "That I deliberately tried to derail his term with such a scandal. We've never actually spoken about it. He just called in a Fixer, and that was it. Picture gone, crisis averted. Alistair and Liam, I don't even know where they are right now. I don't really care, to be honest, and I worry that it makes me a bad person."

"It doesn't," I immediately say, and she seems surprised by the sound of my voice. "They hurt you. You're allowed not to care."

She looks at me through her lashes. "I don't sleep with just anyone, Edward," she says. "There was one boy after Liam. I liked him, but I was too careful, I think. Too scared. He wasn't nearly as patient as you are." She risks a smile, and I manage to return it. "I needed to come here. I needed to get away from all of that, and I needed to meet you. I needed you."

She's barely got the end of her last sentence out, when I launch myself at her. I kiss her for all she's worth, my hands in her hair, on her skin, burning. How could she ever have been worried that I wouldn't love her after this? Silly, silly girl.

After a while, Bella pushes on my chest so she can catch her breath. Her eyes meet mine, and they're alive with something pure; something real. "Valentine's Day," she says breathlessly.

My brows knit together. "Huh?"

"Valentine's Day," she repeats, adding a sultry quality to her voice, and I just know. There's too much suggestion in that voice of hers to go unnoticed.

"Oh."

Her eyes are dancing with mischief. "We can go away somewhere. Its can be..." she trails off, blushing.

"Special?" I offer.

She nods. "Special."

This girl is going to be the end of me, and she's going to enjoy it.

Hah. I probably will as well.