Chapter Twelve

Riley is in the hospital for his birthday. We've been through a lot, my little family and I; but I don't think that much can come close to witnessing Riley's complete devastation when he's told that he can't leave his hospital bed, or that none of his friends will be able come and visit him.

I have to leave the room before I'm the one who starts to cry.

My first few days of Spring Break have great. Perfect, even. I spent most of my time with my mom. Sometimes Carlisle was around, and sometimes he wasn't. I think he's actively giving me time with her, and I appreciate him even more for it.

But then Riley contracted an infection, and now here we are again. They know us rather well here at Seattle Children's Hospital, and I hate it. I fucking hate it. They're great people, of course, but I wish that we didn't know them the way that we do. I mean, I've been Riley's hot Uncle Edward to the nurses for a while now, but now I'm also Isabella Swan's boyfriend. I can't wait for the day when Riley and the rest of us are done with this place.

After I leave Riley's room, I find a relatively quiet corridor and sink down into a free chair. I'm feeling it - that crushing feeling that has a firm grip on my heart, and it is squeezing. How am I supposed to do this? How are any of us? Fuck, I can't even think about what my brother and Charlotte are going through right now.

Carlisle is the one who finds me. The staff know him well here, even though he doesn't actually work here. It doesn't matter though; he isn't here as a doctor. He's here as family, and that's all that matters. He's here.

He sits down next to me, as graceful as ever, and lets out a soft sigh. I can see he's tired. It's deep in his bones. He came straight here from a double shift at the hospital he works at, and he's here.I mean, what wonderful things did one of us do to deserve this man?

"They're moving him," he says quietly. "There's a room with a view of the playground that I think he'll like."

Just from the way he says the words; I know that he had something to do with it. I don't really know what to say to him other than thank you, but I think that'll just embarrass him, so I say nothing.

"It's an infection that we caught early enough to treat less intensively," he reminds me. "And that's only because of you, Edward. Because you were with him, and because you know what to look for."

I swallow audibly.

"It is not my intention to try to make light of what is happening, but I think that maybe we should all look at the silver lining here."

I glance at him. "And what's that?"

"Riley's body is fighting."

I blink.

"His body is fighting, Edward."

There is a lot to be garnered from that one statement, but I'm smart enough not to allow myself to hope. Look what's happening to my mother. But then, Riley's young, and maybe this clinical trial is actually working. Could it be?

Carlisle pats my knee. "Maybe you should call Bella. Tell her what's happening."

It's a testament to how well Carlisle already knows me, that he knows that what I do need right now is to talk to my girlfriend. I don't really know if I can actually form the words to tell her what's happening, but I call anyway. I wait until he leaves me to take out my phone and dial her number.

Bella answers on the fourth ring. "Hello."

I can hear the hesitation in her voice. It's the middle of the morning, and she can probably sense that I'm calling at this time for a very specific reason. I break down in a heap of sobs when I tell her where I am and why. I just - how am I supposed to do this? How? I need somebody to tell me. Someone. Anyone. Please.

Bella practically coos, and her words are soft and soothing, warming me from the inside out.

"Do you want me to come there?" she asks, and I'm tempted. I'm so tempted.

"No," I say. "He's going to be fine. You spend time with your family, okay?"

"Edward," she says, her voice still gentle, but a little accusatory.

"I'm okay," I say, which is a fucking lie and we both know it. "It's just, you know, it's his birthday, and I - " I choke, and then cough. "I wish he wasn't in here today. I mean, what can I even do to make it special when his friends can't even come see him and he's confined to a bed?"

Bella is silent for a moment. "I have an idea," she says eventually.

If I think she's going to tell me what that idea is, I'm severely mistaken. Instead, she tells me that she's going to take care of everything, and I have no idea what that means. Before she hangs up, I'm informed that she has some other plans to make, and that she'd call me later.

Later.

Fuck if I ever knew what my glorious girlfriend is capable of.

I don't know what's happening until Harry arrives at the hospital. That's right: Harry. He's got a laptop with him, which he gives to me along with a list of instructions. I have so many questions, but he doesn't answer any of them. Typical Harry.

"Just do what the instructions say, Edward."

It's the first time he's actually ever said my name, and it shocks me to silence. I nod dumbly, and then go into Riley's room. He does have a lovely view, but he still looks miserable. Though, he does perk up when he spots me.

"What's that?" he asks, his voice low and dry.

"I don't know," I tell him, and it's the truth. "Bella sent it."

That rouses everyone's attention, and they all sit up in their seats.

I set the laptop down on Riley's tray table and roll it over to him. I put everything in position before I look at the instruction sheet. It's written in Bella's handwriting, and I can't help my smile. God, this girl - I fucking adore her.

I follow the instructions by opening the laptop and logging in. The password is my full name, Anthony included, which I find quite amusing. I open Skype as instructed, go online, and then call the contact: Peter. I have no idea who that is, but I'm trusting Bella. She'd never let me down.

Hah.

I freak out more than Riley does when Peter eventually answers, and his face pops up. Peter. As in Peter Parker. It's Tom Holland, and ohmigod ohmigod! I'm in such shock that I don't even hear what he's saying to Riley when he starts speaking. Tom Holland is talking to Riley. Peter Parker.

Spider-Man is talking to Riley.

"And this is my uncle, Edward," Riley says, and I snap to attention.

My eyes focus on the laptop screen, and Tom fucking Holland is smiling at me. He says words but I don't really hear them. Something about Bella. Thankfully, after my mindless nodding, he returns his attention to Riley.

He's here for Riley anyway. Not me.

I mean, is this really happening? Riley's smile is literally splitting his face, and I don't even know how this is happening. Bella's insane. She's also desperately amazing, and I need to talk to her right now. I place a quick kiss on Riley's head, and then I back out of the room as quietly as I can. As soon as I close the door, I take out my phone and immediately dial Bella's number.

It goes straight to voicemail, and I let out a long sigh. Trust the signal to flake out at a time like this.

"Oh, sorry, I forgot to turn my phone back on when I landed," a voice says behind me, and I turn sharply, my heart skipping a beat.

If I thought Tom Holland was something to behold, then the sight of Isabella Swan standing in front of me completely floors me. My mouth drops open and my eyes go wide. Wait. What? What is she doing here?

Is she really here?

"Bella," I whisper, my eyes darting around the otherwise empty corridor. I'm certain that Harry's around here somewhere. I should have known he wouldn't have gone anywhere without his charge.

She smiles innocently. "What are you doing out here?"

I blink. "Uh, I was just trying to call my girlfriend to tell her that she's amazing," I force out. "But it's going straight to voicemail."

"That's weird."

"It is."

She takes a step towards me. "How are you, Edward?"

"I think I'm dreaming, if I'm being honest."

"Why's that?"

"My girlfriend's supposed to be in Maryland, but she's standing right in front of me."

She raises her eyebrows. "That's weird," she says again.

"It is."

She smiles at me. "How's Riley?"

Fuck if I can answer that question right now. "Bella, what are you doing here?"

"I know you didn't actually say the words, but I could tell that you needed me," she says. "So I came. I hope that's okay."

I shake my head. "Are you kidding me?" I reach for her, and pull her into my arms. "It's better than okay." I hold her tighter than necessary, but she's here, and my brain hasn't truly caught up to that fact. Bella is right here. In my arms. And my family is just inside the other room.

Well, everyone but my mom. She's at home with Carlisle. But Bella's here. She's right here, and she's going to meet my family. She's going to meet my mom. Wait.

I pull back suddenly. "Are you staying?" I ask.

"Just for tonight, if that's okay."

I kiss her softly. I've missed her these past few days.

She pulls away first. "How is Riley, really?" she asks again.

"Why don't you ask him yourself?"

Her eyes widen. "What? No. Edward, I can't do that. I mean, it - and I - uh... I'm not even family."

"Nonsense," I say. "You're my family."

She blushes immediately and drops her gaze from my face. I don't dare look away. She has to know what she means to me. She has to know that I don't ever want to go through a life where I'm not with her. I can't and I won't.

"Thank you," I whisper. "For being here. For Tom; for making my kid nephew smile. God, Bella, you should have seen him. I don't think that anyone could have given him a better birthday present. Seriously."

She bites her bottom lip. "It's not too much? I hope I haven't overstepped."

I kiss her forehead reassuringly. "I promise you that seeing that kid beam like that was worth it. You have to let him tell you all about it himself. He's been asking me all sorts of questions about you, you know."

Her gaze meets mine. "He has?"

"Oh yeah."

"And Tori too."

She suddenly looks nervous. "I just got on a flight across the country and this is the first moment that I'm actually thinking about what that means... I mean, I didn't even ask you if you wanted me to meet your family. I sort of just came, and now we're here, and I - "

"Bella," I say, cutting her off before she winds herself into a panic. "Of course I want you to meet my family. I promise that I am so glad you're here; I'm literally bursting with it."

"I didn't want to assume."

I draw her into another hug. She's being a little silly, but I love her for it. "Come on - meet my family."

I wonder what it is about Bella, because the nurses see no need to put up a fuss about the fact that she technically isn't family. Her hand in mine is enough, I suppose. Or it's that she's the First Daughter; who knows?

Her fingers squeeze mine, and she suddenly feels so small. I glance at her and spy her trapped lip. "Are you really that nervous?"

"Deathly."

"My mom isn't here," I tell her, as if that should ease her. "She's at home."

"I'm not nervous about meeting your mom, Edward," she informs me.

"Then what?"

"It's stupid."

I smile at her. "Tell me anyway."

She squeezes my hand. "Were you feeling any of this?" she asks; "about meeting my family?"

I don't tell her that I've been feeling a hell of a lot more than nervousness about meeting her family. I also don't tell her that I've developed a dangerous skill of compartmentalisation. Thankfully, she saves me from a response, by continuing to speak.

"What if your sister doesn't like me? And, I mean, Peter's probably really protective of you, and I made you wait so long, and, I don't know, what if they don't like me? And Riley. Gosh, I mean, what if - "

"Bella," I say, and she blushes madly.

"I'm sorry," she says.

"It's okay," I assure her.

She drops her gaze. "Also, I mean, I know you don't like my father because of his healthcare stuff, so I just - I mean, would they also not like me because of that as well? I know it's crazy but these are the things that I think about."

I release her hand and take her head in my hands, forcing her to look at me. "It's not crazy, Bella. You're allowed to feel whatever you want to feel, you know?"

She just blinks.

I smile. I can't help it. She so cute just standing here with her wide brown eyes and pink cheeks, looking at me as if I hold the answers to life's mysteries. "I can't speak for them," I tell her. "We each hold our own resentment, but I love you. I don't think it's inconceivable that my flesh and blood will love you as well."

She lays her hands over mine and we just stare at each other for a moment. I wouldn't be able to say what's so significant about this moment, but it feels monumental. It feels grand, and I take a shaky breath. This is it. We're tethered together in unimaginable ways already and, by the end of this week; a separation would kill me. It's dramatic, and it's profound.

But it's fucking true.

"I love you," she says.

The moment I open my mouth to reply; Riley's door flies open, and Tori stands in the doorway. Her mouth is poised to say something to me but, the moment she spies Bella; she squeals. Yes, folks, she squeals.

Bella startles, and one of the nurses at the station down the corridor knocks over a empty coffee cup. If my ears weren't ringing, I'm sure I would find it amusing.

"Oh my God!" Tori says. "Isabella Swan is here."

Bella drops her hands, steps away from me and blushes. "Uh, hi," she says.

Before either of us can say anything, Tori rushes towards Bella and wraps her in a tight hug. I can't help my grin, especially when Bella stares wide-eyed at me over Tori's shoulder. She looks panicked for a moment, before she relaxes and returns the sudden embrace.

I hear Tori say thank you, and then Charlotte is also in the doorway, probably roused by Tori's reaction. A second later, Bella's wrapped in another hug, and I laugh. I can't help it.

"What's all the ruckus?" Peter asks, joining us in the doorway. His eyes soften when he spots Bella, but he doesn't join the group hug.

But I do.

I wrap my arms around all three women, and am rewarded with three separate giggles. Truthfully, I don't want to let go of any of them; as if I can somehow protect them all from the world as it is.

Peter clears his throat, and we are all forced to break apart.

"Hello, Bella," he says, a small smile on his face. He looks rather amused, if anything.

"Hello, Peter," she returns, and there's a bit more giggling.

"Would you ladies like to come inside?" he asks.

"Hey, what about me?" I ask.

Peter glances at me. "Like I said: ladies."

I fake a laugh, and we all go inside. Bella hesitates for a moment, but then Tori is tugging on her arm. We want her here; there's no question about it.

If I'm being honest, I have no idea what I'm expecting.

But it's everything. Everything. The way Bella just slots into our little family warms me from the inside out, practically burning me. She's so present and attentive, giving each of my family members her full attention whenever they're speaking.

The way she is with Riley melts my heart. The little guy can't contain his excitement when she first walks in and he invites her to sit with him on his bed. He tells her everything about his conversation with Tom Holland, and she listens intently to all of it, a soft smile permanently on her face.

If I wasn't already dangerously in love with her; I'm sure it would have happened in the hour it takes for exhaustion to catch up with Riley and he falls asleep mid-sentence, his body falling into Bella.

She looks panicked for a second, her eyes searching for mine, silently asking me what to do. I just smile at her, and she relaxes, accepting the weight of him against her.

It's Tori's turn after that, and Bella stays focused until she lets out her first yawn. It's been a long day for her, flying across the country. Peter glances at me, and I take the cue. I should take Bella home.

Tori puts up a little fight. Of course she does.

Bella is so careful as she slips away from Riley. Once she's standing upright, she straightens out her clothes and looks at the sleeping boy. For a moment, she just looks at him, and I just look at her.

So softly that I barely hear her; she whispers, "Sleep tight, Riley. You get better, bud. He won't handle losing you too."

I blink. I definitely wasn't supposed to hear that. Really, what am I even supposed to do with that?

Bella lifts her hand and gently shifts Riley's bangs away from his eyes, her fingers brushing over his forehead. He's so different when he's asleep; so much smaller, as if it's his personality that makes him larger than life.

Eventually, she looks back at me, and smiles sadly. I look away, because I don't want to see my life's truth in her eyes.

And then we're going.

We bid Charlotte, Peter and Tori goodnight, before I take Bella's hand and lead the way out of the room. Charlotte's going to spend the night here, and Peter and Tori will come home in a little while.

I think that they just want to give me and Bella a little time with my mom.

Harry is waiting for us in the corridor. I'm sure that Billy is around here somewhere, but I don't bother to look. If he doesn't want to be seen, then there's no point in even trying.

Bella's fingers squeeze mine as we walk, and she bumps me with her shoulder. "I love your family," she says quietly.

"I'm certain that they love you too," I reply just as softly.

"Riley is adorable, Edward. Like, you talked about how cute he was, but he's a muffin cupcake in person. Just want to eat him up."

I laugh because I can't help it. Who even says things like that?

The drive to my house is uneventful. I don't question how Harry knows where I live. I'm not even surprised by it, though it does make me a little uncomfortable.

When we pull up in front of the house, neither of us moves, as if reality is just now catching up to us. This entire day feels like it's not happening to me. So many things have happened that I can't even fathom. Bella is here. She's right here with me.

"How are you?" Bella asks me, knowing full-well that it's a loaded question.

Clearly, we're not getting out of the car any time soon. "I'm so glad you're here."

She raises her eyebrows. "You told me not to come."

"I know."

"Edward, you're going to have to tell me what you need, okay?" Her voice is gentle, though slightly accusing. "Contrary to popular belief, I'm not a mind-reader - particularly not over the phone."

"I know."

She sighs. "I'm glad I'm here too. I missed you."

I put my arm around her and draw her towards me. She's so warm and soft, and how did I ever survive these past few days without her? "I missed you too."

There's a moment where she just stares up at me, and I see her make a decision. It only takes a moment, but I can tell that she's come to that same monumental conclusion that I had earlier. This is it. This, right here, it's it for the both of us. My childish dreams led me here, to this very moment, with this amazing, wonderful, sometimes infuriating girl, who loves me.

She loves me.

But I'm not a child anymore. It's no longer a dream. I'm looking at her, and it's a reality.

"Do you want to go inside?" I ask her.

She waits a beat before she nods. "Just, first, how do I look?"

"Perfect," I automatically say.

Her eyes narrow. "The truth, Edward," she endeavours. "Do I look as if I just flew across the country?"

I blink. "Yes."

She sighs.

"But you do still look perfect," I add.

She shakes her head, though she's smiling. "What am I ever going to do with you?"

I raise my eyebrows. "Believe me, I can think of a few things."

In way of a response, Bella leans forward to kiss me. It's a quick one, because then we're climbing out of the car and heading towards the house. I don't know if Harry sent a team ahead or not, but he seems very calm as Bella and I cross the front lawn towards the front door, hand-in-hand.

"Spring in Seattle isn't very springy," Bella comments as we reach the front porch.

"You're just lucky you missed the rain this morning," I tell her, as I push open the front door. "That was depressing." I step into the house, and Bella crosses the threshold behind me. She's here. In my house. Sweet Jesus.

She's here.

"Mom?" I call out.

"We're in here," Carlisle says, his disembodied voice coming from the living room.

I look at Bella, and smile. "You okay?" I whisper.

She nods, her smile suddenly splitting her face. "I'm weirdly excited. I've wanted to meet her for so long."

I lead her through the house, watching her take it all in. I make a mental note to take her on a tour later. "Everyone decent?" I ask.

Carlisle lets out a laugh, but shuts up completely when Bella and I step through into the living room.

My mom is propped up on the couch, wrapped in several blankets, looking calm, relaxed, though decidedly concerned. She's thinking about Riley, I can tell. I can only imagine the burden she's feeling with the way all our lives are going. But then, I swear I can't even begin to explain the sudden rush of emotion that seems to wash over her the moment she spots Bella.

"Oh my."

Bella moves past me towards my mom. "Hi, Esme," she says.

"Oh, Bella." There are tears. Holy shit, she's crying. Wait. Bella's also crying. What?

I look at Carlisle, and he looks a little emotional as well. What the hell? What is happening right now?

"Edward?"

My eyes snap towards the couch. "Hmm?"

My mom is looking at me curiously. "Come, sweetheart, both of you, sit with me," she says.

It takes us a moment. I shift the coffee table out of the way, and Bella and I drop down onto the carpet in front of her. Carlisle settles in a armchair to our right, and we talk. I don't really know what we talk about. I wouldn't be able to tell anyone. It's just being here; having Bella here.

My mom is tired. We can all see it, but she wants to stay up, so we let her. We're at the stage where we're going to give her anything and everything that she wants.

Carlisle gets called in to the hospital a little before ten o'clock, and he politely excuses himself, reminding my mom not to overdo it, and make sure she takes her medication. They smile fondly at each other, and he drops a kiss onto the top of her head.

Bella leans into me then, as if she knows what I need. And I think that she does know though. I need her.

As soon as Carlisle's gone, my mom smiles mischievously at me. "Sweetheart, do you know what I'm feeling like?"

I return her smile. I can't help it. "Ice cream." It it isn't even a question. I already know what's she's going to ask for. Carlisle tells me that she keeps asking for things, delicacy things, sweet things, and he says it with tears in his eyes. She knows her body better than we do.

It's almost time.

She bats her eyelashes, as if I could ever dream of saying no to her. "Just one scoop."

I grin. "Are you sure? Only one?"

She winks at me, and I slowly rise to my feet, my legs creaking from being still for so long.

I look at Bella. "And for the incorrigible Miss Swan?"

Bella also winks. "Maybe two for me."

I let out a short laugh, before I turn and head out of the living room. I can't help the feeling of content that wants to wash over me, but I'm wary of letting it. Too much is happening right now, and I don't want to jinx anything.

Generally, I'm not a suspicious person, but I am cautious. Is that the same thing?

Once I'm in the kitchen, I make a beeline for the freezer and pull the door open. Of course, there are so many flavours and I wouldn't even know which flavour either of them want today, so I shut the freezer door and head back to the living room, intending to ask.

Only, I don't enter. I can't, because I stop when I hear it. I hear the reason my mom actually wants ice cream.

"How is he, really?" I hear my mom ask, and my breath catches in my throat. "He mentioned that he was tired and stressed before, but he doesn't really talk to me about what he's feeling about ant of this; all of this." She takes a shaky breath. Speaking all these words must be difficult for her. "So, I need you to tell me; how is he, Bella? How is he really? Is he coping?"

I close my eyes.

Lie lie lie. I mentally tell Bella to lie to her. My mom doesn't need to know. She should go her whole life without ever knowing how this is all going to end up ruining me.

There's a long silence, and I think that maybe Bella can hear my panicked thoughts. If ever I needed my girlfriend to read minds; it's right now.

But no.

"I don't know what to tell you," Bella says so softly, that I barely hear her. There's some more silence. "He's been running a lot."

I suck in a sharp breath. That sentence means more to my mom than Bella will ever know, and I just know that she's now going to try to talk to me about it. Because - oh fuck, Bella.

Even Emmett and Jasper know what my 'running' really means. It's my escape, which has proved to be dangerous at times. They all know how I turned to running after my dad died, and after Makenna. I didn't get much sleep either at the time and, as a result; I ended up being hospitalised for exhaustion.

Let's just say that mother dearest gave me quite the talking to after that. She'd yelled, and there'd been tears. Why, Edward? Why are you doing this? Do you want to leave me too? Do you want to leave me like your father?

So I stopped. And now - just, fuck.

It's one of the reasons that I can't join the track team. Well, I won't. I mean, my friends won't let me, and my mom definitely won't either. She's going to wonder what happens to me when she's gone. I'll probably end up running myself right into the ground, and now she knows it. Great. Just great.

I back away, and return to the kitchen.

I settle on vanilla for them both.

They're still talking when I return, but it's not about me anymore. The air is a little icy, and I can tell that I may be in for it with both of them. Separately, at least. I shudder to think about how I would handle a tag team. They're each already fucking scary by themselves.

Peter and Tori get home about ten minutes later, and I've never been so relieved to see them. Truly. They lift the mood, and Tori is the one who is able to convince my mom that it's time for her to go to bed. Peter helps her up. On any other night, he would have carried her, but she clearly doesn't want Bella to see.

Even in illness, she's so fucking proud.

In the end, it's just Bella and I left in the living room while my siblings see to my mom's bedtime routine, and my heart hurts. I mean, it isn't as if I entertained the idea that my mom would allow me not to talk about all of this, but I would have liked to put it off for as long as possible. I suspect that Carlisle's also had a word with her, merely informing her that I'm bound to lose it.

Bella reaches for my left hand, which is held in a tight fist. "Edward," she whispers. "Relax."

I can't.

"Talk to me."

I look at her. "Bella?"

"Edward?"

I open my mouth, and then close it. I don't know what I even want to say, but I probably still should.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

I swallow audibly. "Why did you tell my mother that I go running?"

She frowns. "Because you do."

I sigh. I can't even be mad, because it isn't as if Bella knows. I've never told her. Should I even tell her? I mean, it isn't as if it's a problem, right? People run all the time, right?

Tori's return saves me from an explanation, and Bella allows my avoidance. I suspect she'll also want to have a talk with me at some point, and just the thought of it makes me want to go for a run right now. So, while my sister's busy going through photo albums with Bella, I stand up and leave the room. I just about curb my desire to run by having a scorching hot shower, as if I can possibly burn off the hurts of the day.

Bella is in my bedroom when I reenter, with only a towel wrapped around my waist. She raises her eyebrows at my pink skin, but says nothing. She just sits on my bed and watches me as I put on pajamas that consist of flannel pants and a faded t-shirt. Once I'm ready, I move to stand in front of my bed. I can't help feeling as if I'm about to receive a scolding, and I'm going to put it off for as long as possible.

"Has everyone gone to bed?" I ask.

She nods. "I just about managed to pry myself away from Tori," she says, smiling slightly. "We were diving deep into photos of naked toddler Edward."

I groan. "Will you ever look at me the same way?"

"Of course," she says; "I love you." For a moment, she says nothing. Then: "And I'm worried about you."

I sigh. I really don't want to get into this right now. "Bella," I say tiredly.

She stands up, and it's the first time I notice that she's also had a change of clothes, and her hair looks a little damp. My eyes widen slightly; for how long was I in the shower? Seriously. I watch as she moves towards me, her hands already reaching out for me.

I don't know what's going to happen when she touches me, so I step back and shake my head. "Uh," I mumble. "I should probably check on, umm, my mom." I back away, and then escape from my room before she can say anything.

What the fuck is wrong with me? My girlfriend flies across the country to be with me, and I, what? What the fuck are you doing, Edward?

The house is already dark as I make my way through it. I head down the stairs and do a systematic sweep of every room, kind of the same way I do at the Sig Eps house. It calms me slightly; I don't know why. I check the front door, just because, and move through the kitchen. The ice cream bowls are sitting in the kitchen sink, and I move to wash them. Anything to put off having to talk to Bella.

Unfortunately, my avoidance doesn't last all that long. Once I've swept the downstairs, I have to head back upstairs. I drop in to check on my mom to find her sleeping soundly, though her breathing sounds particularly painful. I close my eyes for a moment, feeling my heart constrict. Carlisle mentioned that it was probably a good idea to start making plans for hospice and possible pain management.

I'm the person he tells these things, because Peter has to worry about Riley, and Tori is too young.

I don't want to be the one to make these decisions. None of us should have to.

When I finally make it back to my bedroom, nothing much has changed. Only the lampshade is on now and Bella is in my bed. She's typing something on her phone, but she sets it down when I step in and close the door behind me. I don't lock it.

"Are you done avoiding me now?" she asks pointedly, raising her eyebrows.

I don't say anything as I move forward and climb into bed beside her. I lie on my back and stare at my ceiling; it's suddenly very interesting.

Bella rolls onto her side and looks at me. "Tell me what you're thinking," she says gently.

"Why?"

"Because I think you need it."

I swallow. "I don't know what you want me to say," I begin.

"I don't want you to say anything," she assures me. "I'm not your mom, Edward. You don't have to tell me what you think I want to hear."

I turn my head to look at her. "I'm so glad that you're here," I tell her, because it's the truth. "I'm fine, but I'm also not." It doesn't make any sense, but I get the feeling that she understands, even though I sometimes don't. "I just - I want it all to stop. Why won't everything just stop? Can't it - " my voice catches and I look away. A moment later, I feel her hand on my cheek, her fingers brushing over my skin.

She doesn't say anything, and I think I prefer it that way.

"I'm so glad that you're here," I say again., because I need her to know. She has to know.

Bella waits a beat before she wraps her arms around me, practically holding me together. "There's nowhere else I would rather be."

I believe her.

I wake up to the smell of breakfast. My bedroom door is open, and it's wafting in from the downstairs. A quick look to my right tells me that I'm alone in my bed, and it prompts me into action. Goodness only knows what stories my family could be telling Bella right now.

I hurry through getting ready, and then make my way downstairs to find Bella alone in the kitchen, bent over the stove. I automatically smile at the sight of her, before I sneak in behind her and wrap my arms around her waist.

She startles at first, but then she relaxes into me. "Good morning," she says.

I kiss her cheek. "Hello, beautiful."

She lets out a small laugh.

"What are you doing?" I ask.

"Well, until a few minutes ago; Tori and I were making pancakes, but she seems to have given up," she tells me. "Perhaps it's too early in the morning, or something like that."

"Perhaps," I agree. "But, you know you don't have to make breakfast, right?"

"I know."

"It smells amazing though."

Bella breaks off a piece from the pile of pancakes on a plate to her right, and puts it in my mouth.

I gently bite at her fingers, and I feel as a shiver shoots down her body. I press against her, my heart racing.

"Edward," she breathes. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing," I whisper, all innocence.

"Edward Masen, you're going to make me end up burning these pancakes."

"It's just, you know, we never did Christen my bedroom," I say, my breath washing over her skin.

She shivers again, as if I've stimulated a neuron deep inside of her. "Edward," she says again, and then it's all systems ahead. Bella switches off the stove in record time, discards the pan and spatula, and then turns to face me.

"Let's go."

And so we go. We race up the stairs to my bedroom. I slam my door, lock it, and am immediately attacked by Bella and her glorious, wonderful, amazing hands. And then her mouth.

As much as I want to take my time, I know we can't. So it's quick. Like, embarrassingly quick, and I have to laugh about it, though Bella doesn't say anything. Maybe I'm more messed up than I think.

I'll really start worrying about it when I can't get it up.

The rest of the morning flies by, so quickly that I barely feel it. Charlotte comes home, and Peter heads out. Tori and I will go to the hospital when Bella leaves, which she has to remind me constantly is at two o'clock.

I never want two o'clock to arrive.

But it does, and Bella makes the rounds saying goodbye to members of my family. She has to go upstairs to my mom's room, because she hasn't come out today. The events of yesterday must have really taken it out of her. Once Bella's done with her farewells, she slips her hand into mine and leads me out the front door.

Really, I can't stop myself from pouting.

Bella finds it rather amusing, as she pulls me in for one last hug when we reach the road, and the waiting SUV.

"I'll see you in a couple of days," she says against my chest.

"Saturday," I clarify. "I will see you on Saturday. Nice and early."

"Are you nervous about it?"

"A little," I admit.

She pulls away to look at me. "They're going to love you, you know?"

"Because you do?"

She grins at me. "My boyfriend is a genius."

I get another hug, a kiss, a quick goodbye, another longer kiss, and then she's going. I stand on the sidewalk and watch the car drive away until it disappears. Things are changing. This relationship is more real than it's ever been and, yes, it's terrifying, but also not at the same time. Does that make sense?

It doesn't even matter.

As long as Bella understands me.