ii. Pink Zinnia
Mitsuhide is talking to her when you and Kiki reach the training grounds.
You noticed her right away, even hidden as she was in the long line of newly inducted knights. She caught your eye right from the start: she is tall and whip-thin, unlike Kiki, who is smaller than you are and a lot more – ahem – voluptuous. Her dark, curly hair is bound in a ponytail that it seems to be constantly trying to unravel, there are curls falling down the sides of her face today, too. And her eyes. Her eyes are bottle-green, like a cat's, like the Eastern Plains when the monsoon season hits. When she smiles, they light up like a firework.
"Prince Zen." Mitsuhide tends to be more formal when strangers are involved. Not for the first time, you resent it.
"Your Highness." Thalia Namassos bows formally, which gives you a second to compose yourself.
"Knight Namassos. Please, on the training ground I do not stand for such formalities."
Cue fireworks.
"Congratulations on your successful induction. The entirety of the soldiers in Wistalia Castle have already heard of Celeg's best knight and are impatiently waiting to meet you."
"Thank you, Prince Zen." She answers your gaze open and honestly and you fight the blush that creeps into your face. Your ears probably are red already. What is it with this woman that makes you feel so silly? "It is an honor to serve."
How to you answer such a thing? You probably know, but your mind is blank. You flounder. "How do you like the palace?"
She laughs. "It is very big, Prince Zen."
You cast a look at Mitsuhide, desperately, and he smiles back at you. That does it. Stupid idiot! Once you are done digging a hole and disappearing in it, you will throw him out for being an unhelpful fool. Thalia turns to Kiki, as well.
"Knight Rouen and I were sparring just now. There is still a lot I have to learn, and he agreed to teach me. I hear you are his usual partner. I hope you don't mind if I take up his time? He indeed is the best, as the rumors say."
Kiki nods, impassively. Mitsuhide smiles.
Why is it, you wonder, that Mitsuhide dies of embarrassment every time a maid or servant lady as much as smiles in his direction, but takes Thalia's compliments with a grin?
"I am looking forward to the things you will teach us in return."
Thalia turns back to Mitsuhide. "Do you have time tomorrow, Knight Rouen?"
And there it is – suddenly. What is it? There are no words for it, no sentiment. For some reason, the uneasiness… it is there, just like that, and you feel the unpleasantness rise in your throat like bile.
Mitsuhide looks at you questioningly.
"Go ahead," you say and try to swallow through the vileness. "Kiki will cover for you."
Kiki's face is completely impassive, but they don't need words, anyway. (Sometimes, you envy them.) Mitsuhide grins. "Thanks, Kiki. It will be my pleasure, Knight Namassos."
Fireworks. Sparks of life, green-on-green.
"I will take my leave then, with your permission. Your Highness. Knight Seiran. Knight Rouen, I am looking forward to learning from you."
And off she goes. Her hair dances in the summer breeze, and though Kiki catches you staring after her for too long she does not comment on it.
It started innocently enough.
Thalia Namassos is a brilliant knight, strong and quick, and despite being trained in the same place you once were she fights in a completely different style. It is intriguing. And every spar with her teaches you more, things you never even thought of sometimes. It is a lesson in humility, and, at the same time, expands your knowledge. That is why you became a knight in the first place. That is why you enjoy training with her, even if your favorite opponent forever will be Kiki.
(You are almost, but not quite, evenly matched by now. The way Kiki smiles when you cross swords, flashes of silver, the song of the waterfall under the mountain – you yet have to find a word for it.)
Thalia.
You sparred with her a few times, and one or two times, Zen and Kiki passed by to watch. And then Zen challenged her, and she agreed, and this is where you stand right now: Kiki and you, watching from the side lines as Thalia and Zen circle each other. The summer sun is hot and the air sticky and humid but the shadow under the trellises is cool. Zen frowns in concentration, his movements measured and his shoulders so much less tense than they were in the past months. Kiki's presence next to you is familiar; quiet but watching intently, and you feel… at ease.
You could stay this way, you think.
"Score!"
Zen and Thalia move back into ready positions. Zen is grinning now, the last point was his. Thalia, on the other hand, is completely focused; unlike Kiki she does not smile when she fights. Her eyes search for a weakness in her opponent's stance. Zen is holding his sword in a way that opens up his side; you make a note to yourself to remind him of this later on.
The round ends with the odds in Thalia's favor.
"Thank you for the spar, Your Highness." Thalia offers the second prince her hand. "The next round will be yours again."
Zen mumbles something and ducks his head to inspect his gloves, and your suspicion solidifies like rain freezing to snow instantly in a blizzard.
Ah.
Your prince is not very subtle when it comes to his own emotions. He clearly enjoys spending time with the female knight, she is just his age, after all, and she is a good fighter. She lacks some of the finesse you expect of swords masters, but she is young and her reputation speaks for itself.
And.
Zen is so strong; but he is weak, too. And he is lonely. He gets along with all the soldiers on guard duty and the palace staff, even with most of the councilors. But getting along is not the same as having friends. You are aware that he counts Kiki and you as his friends, his only friends, even, and you are proud to be at his side. But you also know that, first and foremost, you are his aide, his sword and his protector. If it comes to it, you will always put him and his safety first, and that… it will always stand between you. Thalia…
As it goes, she is a good choice for a companion, you think.
"That last move was brilliant," your prince says, looking up again, smiling. "Could you show me the next time?"
Thalia drags the now-useless hair band from her locks and shakes out her dark curls before gathering them together and confining them to their usual ponytail again. Zen stares, somewhat helplessly.
A companion. But more?
Here is a prince who grew up within a palace, sheltered and protected. Who hungers for closeness and friendship. A prince who never experienced anything like romantic love.
This will be going nowhere. It will break his heart.
But shouldn't he be allowed to experience it once?
Heavens help you, if the boy falls in love, let him have that, at least! This one shred of normalcy, of youth. Zen deserves to be happy, to experience these morsels of normalcy and happiness fate keeps snatching away after dangling it in front of his face for months, years, it is just so unfair to him, why, why can he not be a young man like every other young man, for once? Why can he not sleep in and play hooky and meet girls and stay out, just once, just this time? You want him to have this, too, all of it. Whatever he wishes for.
(At the same time, you wonder.)
"Of course I can," she says. "How about tomorrow?" She turns towards you. "Will you be there, too?"
Zen looks at you, so young, so excited, and you cannot help but smile. Just this once. "Why not?"
"Great! I will see you tomorrow, then." She nods at Kiki and smiles at you and Zen, and takes off.
Kiki elbows you in the ribs and you start, but when you turn around to ask her what is the matter she is looking into another direction entirely.
He has a dozen good traits.
Mitsuhide, that is.
Your partner is the kind of person that would have made you very uncomfortable in the past: a bit like your father, good at everything he touches. A bit like nobody you know: kind and patient, only willing to use the considerable influence he has on Zen in the case of emergencies. Polite, without expecting anything from others. Selfless to a degree that makes you freeze in indecision.
Sometimes, you still cannot decide whether he is the greatest fool you ever met, or the cleverest person on earth.
But he, undeniably, is blind when it comes to certain things in life.
Another day of hot, dry summer air, sweltering sun and a stuffy, breathless office and the only relief is the cool shadow of the training hall, where the breeze from the ocean enters through the high windows. The scent of the wisteria is overwhelming.
Zen is sitting on the ground, his back against the wall that separates the spectator's seats from the sparring grounds. Mitsuhide is next to you, still wiping sweat from his brow, and Thalia is just taking her leave.
"Would you like to have dinner tonight, Mitsuhide?"
They are on first-name basis now, apparently, and you see Zen frown unhappily.
"I apologize," your partner returns, regretfully. "But we have plans for tonight."
"Oh," Thalia says, and hides her own unhappiness behind a smile. "Then tomorrow, again?"
"You seem to enjoy sparring a lot," Mitsuhide says, innocently enough.
The female knight smiles without any subterfuge. "I enjoy the company."
Mitsuhide laughs. "We are very much alike, Knight Namassos."
Oh, Mitsuhide.
Thalia has only just left when three soldiers round the corner and spy him.
"Rouen!" One of them calls out, and, when they are within earshot: "Did we just see Celeg's one and only female knight leave? Were you sparring again?"
The heavy emphasis is unmistakable. Kiki does not flush. Mitsuhide does.
"It's not like that," he protests. "We just train."
"Is that what you kids call it these days?" The second soldier jeers.
"There's nothing going on between Thalia and me," Mitsuhide hisses, now blushing badly. "Stop that!"
"I don't think she would regard it as nothing," the first soldier says, leering. "Did you see her looking at you? Come on, Rouen, what's the harm? She clearly likes you."
At that, Zen knocks over his sword. It clatters to the ground with a metallic ring, startling all four men above him and making him scramble for his weapon without much dignity. The second he has to compose himself is not nearly enough, but he manages.
"Gentlemen," he greets the knights who stare down at him, dumbfounded and aghast at being caught gossiping like teenage girls by their very own second prince. You know how much Zen means to the soldiers and common knights: he has been training with them for years now, talks to them like to friends. Regards them as his friends, and, however unlikely that might be, they see him as a friend, too, even if a special, elevated one. He behaves like one of them among their midst, and their respect for him and adoration is almost greater than their respect and loyalty to the Crown Prince. One of them is their Commander, but one of them is a soldier like them.
"Your Highness," they stutter. "We did not see you there-"
"At ease," he tells them and gathers up his sword. Stands. "I was about to leave, anyway. Keep up the good work, soldiers. Mitsuhide, stay. Kiki."
And he turns, striding off. You follow on his heel.