Everything To Give
Dylan was sat at the bar, an untouched whiskey in front of him. He came here everyday, ordering the same thing, from the same bartender, sitting in the same spot, wearing the same expression. The only thing that seemed to change were the people around him. Never once touching his drink, letting it sit in front of him, taunting him and making him feel worthless, reminding him of his mistakes, of the person who got hurt because of his reckless decisions.
"You ever gonna tell me your story?" the waitress asked, she was a tall, thin, red-headed woman with big teeth, and small green eyes; she'd been working there longer than anyone and hadn't changed once since he first met her. He wasn't surprised when she'd told him she was single, the poor woman was always here.
"Why Emma, what ever do you mean? Ask me anything, I'm an open book. I'll be brutally honest." His dark mood reflected in his tone.
"What was her name?" She asked, standing in front of him with a stained old dish rag thrown over her shoulder. Dylan finally looked up into her green eyes. She wore a tight fitting black tank top, that rested just above her hips, there was a thin strip of pale freckled skin showing and if she bent over you could make a constellation using all the freckles on her back. She had on a pair of old faded blue jeans that sat comfortably on her hips. Never fidgeting with her clothes, she was completely at ease with who she was and how she dressed. Dylan admired her for that, though he'd never tell her. "Earth to tall dark." She said, smiling showing off all her large, crooked, white teeth. He let out a small smile at the nickname she'd assigned him. He was used to her antics now; after all he'd gotten to know her more everyday for the last three years.
Picking up the glass, he examined the amber liquid swirling it around and around. "She was perfect." He said bitterly, tempting fate he let his lips touch the edge of the glass, "The life I used to lead was awful, I never felt like I could trust anyone." he sighed, setting the glass down and running a thin pale hand through his hair. His eyes back on the dark wood of the countertop. "She was my best friend, the one person I could always count on. Then…" He sighed, looking at the glass again. That was the closest to drinking he had come in the last two years, it terrified him to know he could so easily fall back into that lifestyle.
"What was she like?" Emma asked, tilting her head to the side. He looked up having forgotten she was there. Instead of seeing the sympathy most people gave him, her small eyes were full of curiosity.
"Perfect, you ever meet someone and just know their meant to be in your life?" His eyes began to harden, the once warm honey color hardening to a menacing brown. "But I was a fool, I took her for granted, I never thought I would live without her. I was wrong." He said bitterly, glaring at the glass in front of him. "We had been best friends for years, met while working together. I just came to rely on her so much, she was always there when I needed her. We didn't fall in love or anything, no, she was happy being single; while I saw her as a sister. She wanted to travel the world, 'take life by the horns'" A sad smile on his face as a memory danced behind his harden eyes. "I never wanted anything to happen to her, she was the one person I could never be mad at. She could sing off key for hours, never seemed to care what anyone thought of her. We had so much fun together, we could drive for hours neither one saying a thing and just listen to music." He hung his head down, guilt tearing its way through his entire being.
"We were at a party one of our other friends were throwing. I was supposed to be the designated driver but instead I got wasted. She found me making out with one of her cousins and started crying. I was so selfish, never once thinking about her or how that would affect her. She always seemed happy and nothing could get her down." He sighed, "I found her in the backyard, sitting on an ugly old pool chair, her makeup running down her face, her eyes were so dark they looked black. She demanded I take her home, she didn't know I had been drinking as well. I didn't want to make her more upset so I started to drive." Tears filled his eyes, he made no move to get rid of them. "I should have just called a cab. Why didn't I call a cab?" He looked up at Emma, her eyes filling with tears as well, she had a hand over her mouth as she looked down at him. There was not sympathy there, no hatred, just understanding. "We got in a terrible crash, I hadn't been looking at the road, I was trying to apologize to her and I ended up in a ditch, she had flown through the windshield. Her body was crumpled under a large tree, her arms were bent at weird angles and she was bleeding all over." A shiver ran through him, the memories of that night rushing through his mind. "I tried to stop it, there were so many different wounds, her bones were broken, her eyes were wide open. She looked dead already, I didn't notice her breathing until she started coughing. I thought it was all a nightmare. I never imagined I could cause her, or anyone to look like that. When the ambulance came, they took her to the hospital, everyone tried their best, but…" He swallowed, looking back at Emma before wiping at his eyes. "I moved here, took up the bookshop she owned, adopted her dog, even gave up my girlfriend back home. Just so that I could be closer to her. I haven't had a drink in two years." His eyes zoned out, staring at the same wall he always did. "They didn't send me to jail, there was no punishment for drinking and driving, I got off. I don't deserve to be here." He muttered to himself.
After a few minutes Emma cleared her throat, giving him a knowing look. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you." She said giving his hand a friendly squeeze before turning on the heel of her black ankle boots attending to the other patrons in the small bar. He should've tried to reach out to her, telling her it was okay, but he couldn't bring himself to lie anymore; too many things happened when he lied. He angrily slapped a twenty on the counter and walked out of the bar. Shoving his hands deep into his pockets, and started the short walk home. It was still overcast outside, rain threatening to fall on him, the air humid and hot. Looking up, caused him to feel claustrophobic, memories of the accident still swimming through his head. Trying to focus on the walk home, he looked to his feet, watching each step he took with great care. Running a hand through his hair and taking a deep breath he ran into a small figure; this time catching her before she fell to the pavement, staring into her gorgeous young tan face.
"You really need to stop doing that." She said, her voice was quiet as if she were trying to keep from waking up the world. He was instantly drawn to her copper eyes, the colors swirling around, a hint of red and gold making them look like she had an inner fire and it was burning bright. She looked up into his eyes igniting a fire with her gaze, she had a rosy hue to her chestnut cheeks, her long thick hair was pulled back into a simple braid, hanging down her back; he could smell the alcohol on her breath, mixed with mint and something fruity, it was almost intoxicating. She wore a plain long sleeve gray sweater, a pair of tight blue skinny jeans, and wore black high heel ankle boots, so she came up to his nose. She looked beautiful under the yellow glow of the street lights.
"I'm sorry, I guess you show up every time I put my head down." He said, noticing his arms still wrapped around her slim waist. She gave him a smirk, it transformed her making her into someone else. Becoming a little more human, more complicated, dangerous even; like her life was something he shouldn't want to know. "So now I really do owe you a drink." He said, watching as she shut down. Her smile falling and eyes becoming dark and emotionless.
"I'm fine." She said tapping his hand, asking him to release. He immediately complied, not wanting to make her uncomfortable. "I'll see you around, I'm sure next time you'll actually look where you're going." She turned, her thick braid whipping around her like a weapon. There he stood dumbfounded a smile tugging at his full lips, a new sense of longing filled him. He needed to know her, needed to become someone to her.