The highs and lows of living
To getting second chances
-I am Machine by Three Days Grace
I do not know how long I have been here, where ever here may be. I manage to move my head from side to side and see that there is no machinery around; no nightmarish devices to torment and scare me. It hurts when I move, but I ignore it to the best of my ability. It is very quiet, so quiet that I can hear the gears in my cybernetic limbs hum as I stretch. I hate that sound more than anything. It is a constant reminder that I am a machine.
The bed I am in is soft and the blankets velvety. It has been a long time since I have laid on anything other than metal. I take some comfort and solace as I sink myself deeper into the supple mattress and wrap the blankets tighter around me, like a cocoon. The sun's ray peak through the blinds and I savor in its warmth. Someone has gone out of their way to make me comfortable. Why? Who?
I hear voices outside of the room. I am very much alert and my body is tense, not that I can get it to work properly and defend myself. It is a knee jerk reaction. Old habits die hard and I try to find something to protect myself, which there is nothing. Great. I am doomed if the intent is hostel. Maybe this just a cruel trick being played my captors?
No, the voices sound different. There is something very familiar about them. I cannot move very fast, I must still be very weak and lethargic. The door knob rattles and the door begins to creak open. By the time I try and sit up, the door is completely open. I cannot believe what I am seeing. I rub them, cutting my skin on my prosthetics in the process. However, it does not deter my unbelief at seeing my old captain standing in front of me.
Rex is at my side in a moment's flash. I watch as he pulls up a chair and leans forward toward me. He speaks thoughtfully; gently…a tone I have not heard from him before.
"Echo, how are you feeling my boy?" My old friend asks me. He has a rag with him and wipes the blood that is trickling down from my cut. I do not remember Rex being so fatherly, but I do not question it. He must have a million questions for me; however my captain is a patient man. Before I answer him I take a good look at my rescuer.
I notice the corner of Rex's eyes and mouth crows' feet have developed. War, stress and pain will do that to even the strongest of men. His blond hair is still shaved short and I can see the stubbles of the beginnings of a white beard. It isvery strange to me to see him with any kind of facial hair, yet it gives him an even wiser and paternal look. Clad in what I assume is civilian clothing and not his standard issued armor, he still resembles the lethal warrior I know him as. Because I know Rex, what he was like in the military, the brightness that once glistened in his brown eyes is now clouded over with a wiriness and fatigue that I had never seen before.
I swallow hard and concentrate on trying to form the right words. It takes so much out of me.
"Help Echo," I struggle to get out. Help Echo? What kind of talk is that!? I can form sentences…well I guess I can form them in my head. Raspy and pathetic, I do not even recognize that as my voice.
"You're safe now Echo. We are here to help you." Rex can't help but stare at the tubes that run from my head to my neck. I consciously began to raise my arm toward them, but Rex puts a halting hand on me. "I'm sorry lad. I didn't mean to stare. I just can't believe they did this to you. I can't believe we just left you when you were still…"
I cut Rex off with a shake of my head. I hear the guilt forming. "No fault," I choke out. Sith, I sound like an infant who just learned how to speak for the first time. "How…" I cough and a shooting pain runs down my ribs, which only makes me cough harder. I try and lean forward, but the pain is too intense. Rex sees my struggle and helps me sit forward while I calm down.
"I'm going to get the medic," Rex says as he helps me lie back down once he is assured I won't choke. I reach out to grab his arm. I think I grab it too hard, causing Rex to wince a little. I am not used to my new…enhancements.
"How?" I manage to strangle out, "how did you…" And just like that my voice was gone. I try again, but only my mouth moves and nothing comes out. Rex seems to understand what I was about to ask.
"I'll tell you everything I know once our medic sees you," he appears to know the next question and continues, "You are on Kyrimorut; it's a place on Mandalore." Rex gently places my arm back on the bed. "Just keep reminding yourself Echo. You are safe now." I watch my captain walk out of my room and shut the door.
Am I really safe? Does it matter if I am not? I've already faced the hounds of hell and survived…well sort of. I am at least half intact. Why did Rex take me to Mandalore? What happened after the explosion? What about Fives? Is he alive? I am so drained, but I try and stay awake. I have questions and want answers; I want to find my brother. Darkness creeps at the corner of my eyes until I am no longer able to fight the inevitable. My eye lids drop and my last thought is that I hope I will wake up again.
I seem to keep waking up to someone(s) talking around me. I am not sure how long I have been asleep, but the sun isn't shinning anymore and the lights in the room seem very bright. I am forced to squint as I try and pry my eyes open. I begin to move but that sharp pain returns and I start a coughing fit again. Someone helps me sit up and I reflexively grab onto his arm for support. I can hear a hiss escape from his lips, yet I do not let go even when I am fully sitting up. A hard thump against my back helps me with my choking and finally with a few big gulps of air, I can breathe again.
"See Doc, this is what I was talking about," it is Rex again. I am glad he is here since I do not know who or what this doc is. It better not be another machine. My eyes finally adjust to the light and I now can get a better look at who is in the room with me.
The man termed "Doc" seems older with his brown hair having streaks of gray in it. Yet with everything that has been going on I assume anyone can look older even if he or she is not. He looks intelligent as well. At least I hope he is if he is going to see me as a patient. He has an air of "do not mess with me" mixed with an empathetic sense. Rex seems to trust him, but I do not know if I can trust anyone other than my captain. The man is reaching out to touch me and I instinctively deflect him with my robotic arm.
"It's okay Echo," Rex assures. I had at some point grabbed onto Rex's shirt instead of holding onto his arm, and bunched the material in my hand. He slightly pulls away from me, but my grip tightens. I feel like if I am to let go, then he and everything around me will vanish. Unrealistic I know, but I cannot stop myself. He stands still and waits for my grasp to ease up which it does. Rex continues to explain.
"This is Mij Gilimar. He's a Mandalorian and part of the clan that lives here. He helped with the rescue operation of getting us off of Couruscant when Order 66 was issued." I wonder who all of us are. Order 66? What in god's name is going on? I am so confused, but I keep my attention on Rex. "Mij has seen to all of our injuries and is very well respected here. He needs to examine you to find out what's going on." I trust and believe Rex, I really do. However, going through what I did, can I really be blamed if I did not want anyone examining me and potentially causing more harm? I shake my head negatively.
"Vod, I promise you I will not cause any harm to you," the doctor, Mij, sits closer to me. I try to scoot my body closer to the other side of the bed, away from him. "That cough is bad Echo; you may have a punctured lung, broken rib or worse. I need to do a health scan on you to see the extent of your injuries and…" he trailed off for a moment, trying to find the right words without insulting me, "your prosthetics. I just want to get you healthy lad, that's all."
I look away from both men. I especially do not want Rex to see how upset it makes me to have someone examine…my parts. I move my legs back and forth forgetting for a split second that they were not real. The whines the gears make as I move make me grimace sourly. I just do not have the energy to fight this. I give out a long sigh and finally nod my head in consent. I look back at Rex and tap his chest and point to the door. I do not want him in here while I am examined. I do not want him to see how less of a man I am now.
"You want me out?" Rex asks, a little bit of surprise evident in his voice. I again nod.
"Go on boy," Mij said to Rex. "I'll be out soon enough." Rex looks like he is about to protest but decides against it.
"If you need me for anything, I'll be right outside."
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