Ellen smiled as she squeezed his hand. "I know you are," she said encouragingly.
"But, it wasn't always that way," Murdock said nervously. "I remember going to the psych ward the first time, it was...scary."
"It's okay, honey," Ellen said concerned. "You don't have to talk about it, if you don't want to."
"No," Murdock said shaking his head. "I think, I need to," he said looking up at everyone. "It has to do with Maggie and my time in the CIA."
"What does your time in the psychiatric ward have to do with Maggie?" Hannibal asked as Murdock began to rock back and forth.
"Because," Maggie said closing her eyes. What she was about to reveal may end any chances of reconciliation with Hannibal. "What I did to him...my experiments, they are the reason why Murdock ended up in the ward in the first place."
"What!" Hannibal asked in shock before turning on her. "How!"
"I worked in the CIA's medical division," Maggie said slowly. "My experiments were neurological in nature. I was testing certain drugs on candidates that were susceptible to suggestions and Murdock was one of those candidates."
"Oh my god," Face said in disbelief. "I sure wasn't expecting that!"
"Neither was I," Hannibal said looking over at Murdock.
"That ain't cool, mama," BA said looking from Maggie to Murdock. "Yer the reason this crazy fool became a crazy fool!"
"I'm afraid so," Maggie replied casting her eyes downward so she didn't have to make contact with anyone.
"You going to be alright, Captain?" Hannibal asked shaking his head. He couldn't believe what he'd just been told and it floored him.
"Yes, sir," Murdock replied taking a deep breath before looking at Maggie. "Please, you need to go on."
"After the neurological experiments came the neurotoxin experiment that almost killed him," Maggie said stiffly still avoiding eye contact with Hannibal. It would kill her if all she saw now was hatred and not love. "After that, I'd had enough! I took Murdock out of the center and checked him into the psychiatric ward before going on the run. I had just given birth to Ian and I begged Tom to take him away to a place I wouldn't know about and then I settled in Bad Rock. The townspeople didn't ask a lot of question and mostly paid for my services in cash so I had no need to use my social security number or file taxes. I've been living under the radar for almost ten years and then, Trigorin found out about my past and my family."
"It's not really her fault, Colonel," Murdock said looking at Hannibal. "I volunteered for the experiments because the CIA said, it would make me a better pilot."
"The hell it ain't," Hannibal said sternly as Maggie looked defeated. "I don't know anyone that would stoop so low as to come into my family knowing what you did and keep it from all of us, that takes a lot of nerve."
"I guess, I deserved that," she said quietly. "After all, I took an oath to first do no harm. But, I didn't know who you were until Murdock showed up that day in Bad Rock to give blood to BA. Once I realized who he was, I asked him not to tell because of my feelings for you and he agreed."
"So that explains your connection to Murdock," Face said still in shock. "Tell us what happened with Trigorin."
"I got a phone call late one night a couple of weeks ago and at first, I didn't take it seriously when the man on the other end told me he was working for a powerful man that wanted me to do a job for him or he would kidnap my family," Maggie said with a sigh. "I called Tom and he said, everything was fine. No one had approached him or Ian about anything to do with me so I forgot about the call."
"Then what, Doc?" Face said pacing back and forth in front of where Maggie sat. If he was to help salvage any relationship that the Doctor and Hannibal might have after this, he needed to know the whole truth.
"One of the ables approached me in the house and said he worked for Trigorin and that I was to do as I was told or he would expose my past to Carla," she replied wringing her hands together nervously.
"That's impossible," Carla said looking up at her older brother. "You know the vetting process we use. There's no way an able could be one of Trigorin's men. She has to be lying!"
"I swear it's true," Maggie said looking at Face directly. "Check the staff, he took me to Tom and Ian last night before taking off! You're missing one and don't even know it!"
"Carla," Face said with a nod as his sister got up to go confirm it with the staff.
"After the able told me Trigorin had my family," Maggie continued. "He said, the only way to get them back alive was to kill the General. I knew, Trigorin wouldn't have any problem with carrying out the threat if I didn't show the able that Stockwell was dead and that's when I contacted an old friend in the CIA and got a sample of my neurotoxin. After having used it on Murdock, I took a guess about the dosage in order to make him appear to be dead to anyone that wasn't medically trained."
"She's right," Carla said rushing into the room with a file. "Able six is gone, this is the file we have on him."
Face opened the file and looked at the man's picture. He remembered him moving around the inside of the house in Langley and the lodge but nothing he did ever stood out or drew any attention. "Hannibal," Face said handing the file to the Colonel. "From now on, I want Hannibal in charge of security," he said looking at Carla. "Make sure he has the clearance and access to the computer and files we have on all the ables currently working for us."
"Yes, sir," Carla agreed with a nod before retaking her seat.
Face rubbed his forehead thoughtfully before he looked back at Maggie. "And, if you'd been wrong, my father would be dead, correct?"
"Yes," Maggie whispered. She had no reason to hide anything now. And, she owed it to him to tell the truth.
"I sure wish you'd come to us before it got to this point, Doc," Face said with an exasperated sigh. "That being said, I believe you're telling the truth. As for what happened in the past, I don't think any of us can say, we didn't make mistakes during our military careers. If Murdock can forgive you then I don't have the right to say that I don't. But, what happened with Stockwell is truly unforgivable. You of all people, I've confided in you, you know the sacrifices I've made when it comes to my family and he's the only one I have left. If he'd died before I had a chance to really know him...let's just say, it's going to take a lot of time and trust on all our parts to accept what's happened."
"I understand," Maggie said quietly. She expected Hannibal's anger but the utter pain of betrayal that Face conveyed cut her more deeply than anything Hannibal could do to her. She would have done anything to keep from hurting any of them but most of all him. He'd already lost so much and she didn't realize what an impact her actions would have on him. "I can only say, how sorry I am that I let this happen and as I said before, I don't expect anyone's forgiveness."
Face nodded. "It's late," he said looking at the others. "I think we should all get some rest."
The consensus among the rest of the room was in agreement as Maggie sat stone faced while everyone but Hannibal filed out. "I'll take a spare room tonight and move my things to it in the morning," he said coldly. "As soon as the weather clears, I want you and your family to leave."
"I still love you, John," Maggie said softly as Hannibal sighed.
"That's your problem," he said harshly before leaving the room.
Finally alone, she closed her eyes and released all the pent up emotions she'd held in the last couple of days. Afterward, she went up to Stockwell's room and checked on his condition. She was relieved to find that it continued to improve before going to the room that she had shared with Hannibal. Climbing into the cold bed and did her best to sleep.