Hey Baby Girl!
The flight took forever. We left New Orleans late and encountered bad weather all the way. All of a sudden I found myself getting nervous.
I hadn't been at Dulles for over a decade. It was much bigger than I remembered. As I neared the exit, I saw Percy sitting down in the waiting area.
"Chris, it's good to see you."
"I doubt you mean that Sonja" I snarked.
Chrissy do you know who this is? She looked at me with same big eyes of her mothers. – "Da Da" she clearly responds to my great surprise. How does she know me Percy? When you see her room you will understand.
Percy straps the baby in the back seat as I put the stroller and my suitcase in the trunk. Percy asks me if I want to sit back there with her. That was a no brainer. I eased myself right next to my daughter. It's her nap time so she probably will just doze off. I wasn't about to let that happen. I kept her entertained the whole ride.
When we got to Percy's place she told me that the baby really did need to go down. I was able to get her out of the car seat thinking I could just come back and get my suitcase later. Sonja carried the diaper bag and stroller in. Pointing to door on the right, Percy said you can just put her in the bed. I tried, but I found that I wasn't ready to put my daughter down yet. I picked her back up and sat in the rocking chair in the room rocking Chrissy as she looked into my eyes while trying to grab my nose. Slowly her eyes closed and reopened, closed and reopened and in about ten minutes she finally lost her fight with the sandman. After I put her down I looked around the room. There I found more than a half a dozen photos of me as well as the team, Sonja and me together and even one of momma.
Percy where did you get all those photos of me? You had them on your hard drive and I got to them while you were upstairs in a conference with Pride so I wouldn't forget what you looked like. "But you had one of momma." "I asked Cade to e-mail it to me. I told him that I was doing something special for you for Christmas."
As I sat down, I felt my anger returning. "Sonja what the hell were you thinking? If this is my daughter, how could you keep her away from me?" You're out of the country half the time. Well Chris, the 'if' will be determined this afternoon. I have a friend at the coroner's lab and he is going to do a DNA test on the two of you and get the results back quicker than a hospital. I told you Chris, I didn't know what to do. I wondered why you would want to be saddled down by a child you couldn't raise. We made it so plain that we wondered about what could have been.
We talked some more or rather I did. Finally to keep from shouting I went outside and walked around the block. Percy had the bad habit of not only helping me to calm down but to irritate me so much that I wanted to scream.
When I came back in, I had promised myself that I would listen. So I started out "Sonja, I'm not going to talk. I want you to tell me your story." Up and down, back and forth, Sonja told exactly how the past three years had unfolded. She said while she loved her job, she hated the fact that her child was being raised by a nanny. She wished that Chrissy had a stable home. She said just when she decided that she would reach out to me that she reconsidered the decision on a long flight home.
As she seemed be talked out, I called her over to me and pulled her into my lap. Then she began to cry again. The only response I had was to hold her tighter. I never wanted her to cry again. I never wanted her to worry.
About the time she calmed down enough to talk about making dinner plans, baby girl work up from her nap. We went in together to get her. Chrissy looked at us both first extending her arms to mommy and then to Da Da not quite sure how to make the choice. Sonja took her to the potty chair and brought her back and put her in my lap telling Chrissy to tell her daddy about Pepper. I found out that Pepper was the dog next door. I could only understand every two words and the translator, Sonja, had left the room.
After I gave Chrissy some grapes and juice we took off for the lab. I wasn't surprised at the results. I knew that this little girl looked just like my auntie and sister and that we had not used birth control that night that we were together.
We stopped on the way back to grab me a burger. I helped feed little person while Sonja ate in silence.
Later that night after I put Chrissy in her bed, I sat down with Sonja. We talked, and talked and talked.
I would never tell her that while I had dated other women, I have never found anyone more challenging that her. I found a song in King's jute box entitled 'Soon' by Leanne Rimes. I played it every time I was in there and finally downloaded it onto my phone.
Right in the middle of the conversation, Sonja got up and went into her room. She handed me a piece of paper. It was Chrissy's birth certificate. My name was already on there as the father. Then she handed me a second document. It was her will. She had made Tammy the executor and left her money in a trust to the baby to be managed by her father, Christopher LaSalle. This kind of calmed me to know that while in the present that she had not done what I would have wanted, she was going to make sure that Chrissy was brought up by the rest of her blood family.
Still talking at midnight Sonja was finally overcome by yawns. She brought me out sheets, a pillow and a blanket and offered to make up the couch. I looked at her confounded and ask her if she really wanted me to sleep on the sofa. She replied that it was up to me. I told her I was looking forward to parking it in a real bed. As she turned, I picked up my suit case and followed her into her room.
Once I got into her room I found a few more pictures of me and then the both of us together. It kind of surprised me that she hadn't hidden them away when she knew that I was flying out.
Sonja turned her back to me when she got into the bed. I scooted closer to her and finally pulled her into my arms. A few minutes later my arm was wet from her tears. I just pulled her tighter and nodded off to sleep.
Sonja's alarm went off and I told her to stay there. She replied maybe not this time. But you can come along daddy and see what our morning routine is like. Sonja went toward the kitchen and I went to my daughter's bedroom. Chrissy was already awake and lay giggling to herself in her crib. I said "good morning princess" She looked up at me and said 'Da Da', now that is a word I don't think that I will ever get tired of. I picked her up and of course she was soaked. Sonja came in and took her from me and took the wet night diaper off. Come on sweetie, let's see if you can potty on your chair. While Chrissy sat down, she was still enthralled by my presence and was not paying attention business. Finally Sonja motioned for me to leave and followed me out. We stood there peering at Chrissy and when she stood up Sonja went back in and praised her for her deposit. From there Sonja moved her to the tub and asked her if she wanted her daddy to give her her bath. Sonja quickly washed her hair and left me to do the rest. Chrissy was more interested in the toys in the tub than me and not much later I took her out of the tub and moved back to her room.
Sonja had laid her clothes out on the top of the dresser. You're kidding me there was a red 'Bama tee shirt and black cotton pants. I smiled as Sonja and I traded places. Be careful Chris, she'll get to swinging her arms and try to jump off the table. I put the training pants on backward and had to take another stab at that. The pants weren't much easier since Chrissy kept kicking her feet. Sonja was right, just went I turned to grab the tee shirt, she decided that she was tired of being prone and went to get off the table.
"What would you like to do today Chris?" "Just spend time with my daughter." "Well, we all need to eat. I bought eggs and bacon for you if you want to cook them.. Or I can cook them while you help Chrissy eat her breakfast. We can go over to the gym and work out for an hour or so after our breakfast settles. They have child care there."
The work out at the gym did wonders. I must have punched the bag for over thirty minutes. I was angry, frustrated, hurt, and mad and felt wounded. I was guessing that Sonja had forgotten how I felt when the whole Tucker story fell apart. I have known since that day that I wanted to be a father. Now Sonja, no matter what her reasoning, had taken precious time with my daughter away from me.
Back at the apartment, I jumped into the shower while Percy keeps the baby entertained then we switched places. Sonja came out with her NCIS work clothes on and that perfume she wears. I had forgotten how intriguing it was. We're going to need to go to the store to get food for you to eat. I wasn't sure what you were eating these days, so I just got your milk, eggs and butter.
I chose to jump back into the back seat again to talk to Chrissy. A quick round in the store and we were back on our way to the apartment. I was able to carry the groceries in in one trip. Sonja warmed up lunch for the baby and encouraged me to feed her. I found out she does not like sweet potatoes and told her she cannot truly be a LaSalle and not like them. I saw a flash and looked up to see Percy taking pictures of us.
Chrissy let us sleep in on Sunday morning. I guess she was tired from the weekend events. We had a late breakfast. Sonja did the laundry while Chrissy and I played in her room. We had lunch and then Chrissy and mommy laid down for a nap.
After nap time, we all went for a walk. Sonja and I alternated taking photos of each other with the baby. While in the park, a woman offered to take a couple of photos of all three of us. As she handed Percy back her phone, she said 'you are a lovely family'. I just smile and noticed that Sonja looked quickly to the ground. Chrissy toddled around investigating every bug, bird and flower.
Tired from her adventures, Chrissy quickly feel asleep in my arms as we sat down to drink some juice. While she slept, Percy and I were able to talk a little more.
On this rare occasion, I see Sonja crying. I took her hand and she moved closer to me. A little later, I put the baby back in her stroller and as I pushed the stroller, Sonja put her arm through mine as we walked back to the apartment.
Chrissy was awake and ready to eat. It was obvious that we were both still a little nervous with each other as Percy gave me a wide berth in the kitchen and kept throwing me hidden glances. Percy fixed some veggies, mashed potatoes and beef franks. As I feed Chrissy, Sonja warns me "broccoli still throws her so look for it to come back out.
I entertained my daughter another hour and then took her to her room to put her PJs on. Sonja comes in to show me how to put the night diaper on. You need to take her to the potty first Dad. If she goes, she gets to pick her own toy to sleep with off the bookshelf.
When we come back, Sonja helps a little more with the diaper and then left me with a screaming toddler trying to get her night clothes on.
When I came back out, I noticed Sonja had set the table with a tablecloth. What are you going to cook LaSalle? Me cook? You do remember that I don't eat your food dear one. While you do that, I'll get the wine.
My burger was great if I say so myself. How Sonja survives on that grass is beyond me. Sonja had put candles on the table making it a special moment.
Sonja had taken a quick shower after our walk and put on her intoxicating perfume. It is one of the things that I had missed for all these months.
"You only have to wash the skillet she says'. I can put everything else in the dish washer with Chrissy's sippy cups.
So now here comes the hard part. It's just the two of us again.
I said my peace and Sonja listened attentively. .
The first words out of her mouth were "that's not going to happen" I'm not leaving my job and I'm not coming back to New Orleans!
I already knew where this was going. Can't say I didn't expect it.
Sonja did agree to let my mother come and be Chrissy's caregiver. We skyped momma and I was just hoping that momma didn't push Sonja too far. I knew that Sonja would run if someone confronted her with too much 'push'. I didn't have to worry. Momma told Sonja that they could write back in forth for the next month that it would take her to get there and to skype with Chrissy often so she knew her face and her voice.
Later that night I thought that I probably should have just slept on the sofa. Being with Sonja began to take a toll on my heart. I quickly realized that my love for this woman had not diminished one iota across the time that we were apart.