The Cost of Love

I flew out on Wednesday morning after checking in with the team making sure that all my case notes were handed off. I got into the airport about 2:30. I picked up my rental and headed toward Sonja's new home. I keep learning new things as a father and found out that I could rent a child's car seat as well. I got to the house about 3:30 p.m. and was disappointed to discover that my daughter was still taking two naps a day. Momma said that Cade took two naps until he went to school full time in first grade.

It wasn't long until I heard her giggling and went into her room to get her. By then Chrissy was in a toddler bed. I sat down in the rocker and she got up and came over to me. She started talking to me and I could see her little brain ticking as she cocked her head. She finally reached out and touched my nose suddenly realizing that I was really there in the flesh and not on the computer screen that she had talk to for months. She let out this typical La Salle belly laugh and backed up to me as a hint for me to lift her into my lap. I took her potty and then we came back and sat in the rocker and laughed and giggled together for about an hour. Chrissy was proud to show me every toy in her room and finally brought me a book to read to her. That is where Sonja found us when she came home from work.

I don't think that Sonja was insulted when Chrissy looked up and merely waived hi mommy and then immediately returned her attention back to me.

Momma came to the door in about an hour and told us that dinner was ready. Trying to wash our hands didn't go as well as I had expected. I only later found out that I had to hold the liquid soap bottle. Chrissy grabbed it first and managed to push the top enough times to have soap all over the sink and herself.

King had told me that everything your child does is cute and how right he was. Without prompting Chrissy bowed her head and moved her hands together waiting for grandma to pray over the food. She was just adorable.

Evidentially Sonja usually does the dishes but momma shewed her out of the kitchen which allowed her to join Chrissy and I in the living room. I pull Sonja into my lap and ask her how her day went. "Busy. You know that's all I can tell you.

Chris, I printed off a calendar for the next two days. Chrissy can forgo a morning nap if you make sure she goes down right after her lunch. Tomorrow she has story time at the library at 10. I put the address on here so GPS should get you there okay. Otherwise you can plan away on your own."

Momma interrupted for a moment and came over to give me and Chrissy a kiss before she headed out to church for her Bible study. "I'll talk to you in the morning son."

Bedtime had come for Chrissy and we went potty one last time and got her P.J.s on. I let her pick the book that she wanted and it was the Three Little Pigs. Her eyes got big just like her mother's as I huffed and puffed scaring her with volume of my deep male voice. At the end of the book I said it's time to go beddy bye. She grabbed onto my neck tightly in protest then I said okay, let's rock. I looked up to see Sonja in the door way - she grinned and turn away knowing that I was putty in this little girl's hands. We sing/sang as Chrissy explored my ears and my nose and my teeth. Finally asleep, I laid her in her bed and pulled the child gate back across the doorway.

It had been a long day and I was tired. I looked around the room for Sonja then heard water running. It didn't take me long to figure out that I could just shed my clothes and join Sonja in the shower.

Lying in bed, Sonja asked a million questions about everyone on the team. She told me that Merrie had visited for a weekend and seemed happy. She evidentially was dating some law professor at Boston College. I told her about both Sabastian's and Tammy's new girlfriends. She asked about Rita. I told her that she had retired from her Naval service and spent more time in 'Nola than before. While she and King seemed happy together, I hadn't heard anything about a permanent arrangement. She couldn't believe that Loretta's youngest boy would go to high school next year. We both wondered where the time had gone.

Then she started crying. "What's wrong Sonja?" "I really screwed up Chris. I should have told you about the baby from the beginning. Things would be so different." "Look Sonja. Hold on to all of that until we get away this weekend. Just let me hold you tight tonight and show you how much that I have missed you."

The next day after Sonja left for work, I got Chrissy up and dressed and fed her her cereal. I had another long conversation with King. He asked me one more time if I was sure. Yah King. I think that's how this is going to play out. I would appreciate your making a call, and then I'll talk to the Director myself on Monday.

I enjoyed the opportunity to have Chrissy all to myself for two days. I took momma to have a spa day on Thursday then Chrissy and I treated her to a late lunch.

Momma was just beaming. What? I asked when I saw her look at me and quickly look away. "Son I can't tell the level of joy that you have brought into that house. I heard Sonja singing while doing the dishes for the first time ever Tuesday night anticipating your arrival. Every time that child over there looks at you she burst into giggles. Some nights I stayed up and watch their faces as they talk with you on Skype. A new level of gladness comes on Sonja's face and then diminishes when you sing your good night song to Chrissy.

Sonja was coming off of a tough stretch at work. The FBI was in court all week with the case that had taken her abroad the month that momma and Chrissy stayed in New Orleans with me. It was a big deal. Final closing remarks were to begin the next Tuesday so she was a little antsy as we carried our luggage to the car.

We found this wonderful place called Tides Inn located in Irvington, Virginia. It was nestled on its own peninsula overlooking Carters Creek with a breathtaking view of the Chesapeake Bay. The rooms had hot tubs in them. I was in the tub before Sonja could get her clothes into the dresser. Joining me Sonja sat down at first and just enjoyed being relatively alone. It was only as I saw her shoulders complete sag that I considered the challenges that she must have endured while caring for our daughter all alone.

Chrissy was indeed a handful. Inquisitive and smart and would try your patience just for spite. Momma said she got that from her grandfather - very strong willed and refused to take no for an answer. Chrissy had quickly learned when her mother told her 'no' to come to daddy. She got over on me a couple of times before Sonja schooled me. After that, even before I started using the words 'yes dear', I told Chrissy to go ask her mother or ask what did mommy say?

After a short time in the hot tub, we took a quick shower and put sweats on and went down to the work out room for a body massage. Afterwards, Sonja said that she had not heard that much silence in three years. I looked over at her and saw that sly grin that I remember seeing many times when we worked together at NCIS. "Sonja, we have the whole weekend"

Mamma had made dinner for us. She put everything in picnic basket and a cooler. Sonja got a card table from the front desk and sat it. Momma had put a nice table cloth with glass dishes and silver and wine glasses as well. One does not expect their mother to be so romantic but she also had put scented candles and a yellow rose, Sonja's favorite flower, in a jar with the package as well.

Momma's friend chicken was good no matter if it was cold or hot. Sonja warmed up the southern style green beans that I love so much and put the apple salad between us. After dinner Sonja stood there at the sink snickering to herself and I asked what was going on. She said "I'm supposed to be relaxing and here I am washing dishes like I do every day. I picked up a dish towel and dried them and put them securely back into the picnic basket.

I had forgotten how much I missed the smell of Sonja's soap on her skin. She smelled good enough to eat. "So what do you want to do first – talk or be furthered relaxed." "I think the second she answered" and then her body responded to my physical inquiries.

I must have dozed off because I only remember opening my eyes to see Sonja looking me dead in the face. I smiled and moved over a few more inches. "So what are you thinking Christopher LaSalle?" "I'm thinking that I really miss my girls and I don't think that I can take it anymore."

"Chris we talked about this before. I'm not coming back to New Orleans. It holds a lot of bad memories for me there. I got shot. Ramon and those agents that were killed because he played me still haunts me. Then there is the 'no us'. King went off into the rabbit hole and people got irritated at me because I called him on it. I stayed scared for all of us not knowing what rule he was going to stretch or break the next time. I was pissed enough that I felt that I had to leave.

Then I get here scared and forced to go through having this baby by myself." Sonja starts crying and weeps for a long time. "I kept waiting for the day to come that I didn't hurt when I heard your name. Chris. I really loved you then and I was hurt and angry when you kept us apart. I would hear you talking to other women on the phone and it just wounded me. I found that I could not grow our relationship. You put up that barrier to leave us at friends, but I wanted more so I saw no need to stay."

"I can't find fault in what you're saying baby. If fact I'm tired of debating it. I told King that I will probably not come back, well at least not to stay. He is going to call the Director for me and see if he will give me a recommendation.

"Are you thinking of trying to get transferred here?" No, I don't think I would be a fit with Gibb's team. I had looked at the Alcohol Tobacco and Trades division at the Treasury Department. We know that the East region of the country sees a lot of monetary crimes because of the major cities here. You know yourself all the shit that is coming through New York and Charleston and Miami are no different.

Sonja just looked at me wide-eyed. "You would really do that Chris?" "Well, I guess so but only under one condition." "And just what would that be?" "If you would agree to marry me and be my wife" I said as I reached under my pillow.

"Sonja I don't think that I have seen you speechless unless you were crying." "Oh, Chris, it's beautiful."

"The small stones came from my grandmother's wedding band. I know that you like opal cuts so I had them laid around one." "Sure Chris, I'll marry you." Chrissy will be over joyed to have you at home with us full time."

Home I thought. Those words brought a smile to my heart. "Hey, let's call momma. "Hi momma" I almost yelled. "She said yes. Momma you had the inside track on her thinking. And there's more news. I'm moving to be here with all of you."

"Oh son, that's wonderful." "Is Chrissy still up?" I asked. "Yes, she was waiting for you to skype I guess, I hear her in there talking to her dolls." "Okay let her come out and we'll skype her.

"Hi baby girl." "Daddy where are you?" she says in broken English. "Right here with mommy honey. Remember I told you that we were going on a trip like you and grandma?"

"Mommy's right here." Sonja says and talks with Chrissy for a few minutes and then exchanges places with me again as I sing Chrissy her good night song.

Sonja chose to back into the bedroom to call her mother. When she came out I could tell that she had been crying. "My mother wasn't as happy. She is still mad that I felt the need to leave you in the first place and then had the baby alone. It was almost a year before I told her that I did not tell the father that he had a child."

We didn't get up until after ten on Saturday morning. I went out for a quick run and then we went out to eat breakfast in the restaurant. Sonja looked at me oddly when I pulled out a writing tablet when we got there. "Well we need to talk and make some decisions". So we started in and sat there for over two hours with list after list after list.

We had a romantic dinner out that night. When we came back to the room, I turned on the lights for a few minute and was a little stunned realizing that someone had been in the suite. I could see un-lite candles all around. Sonja took my jacket and put it in the closet with hers. She walked around the unit and lit the many candles. Then she turned on the CD player and then walked back over to me and put her arms around me. As the music played, I asked who this was. Patti La Belle. I was satisfied just to be standing there swaying with Sonja to the music. As I listened to the lyrics, I could see that I had nothing on Sonja when it came to romance. Here's a song 'If only I knew'. I am not sure that I could explain to Sonja how much I truly love her. While there was a pause in the music, Sonja spoke up and said "Chris, this song contains the words that I should have said to you even before that last night that I was in New Orleans. The song, 'Somebody loves You Baby'. Oh my, I thought as it played, I wonder if I would have listened then.

"Somebody Loves You Baby (You Know Who It Is)

(Chorus)
Somebody loves you baby
ooh ooh ooh
Somebody loves you baby
ooh ooh ooh
Somebody loves you baby
ooh ooh ooh
Somebody loves you baby
You know who it is

It happened so suddenly
I woke up one morning with you on my mind

No matter what I did
Couldn't stop thinking about you
Wanted instant replay of yesterday

(Chorus)

I'm under your spell
I don't want to break free
You can make a slave out of me
I worship you and nobody else
I pledge my love to you forever

(Chorus x2)

I need you right now
Baby don't say no
Cause you look like you ready to get it on
Whatever you give me
I give it to you back
All the love you'll ever need I'll give it to you

(Chorusx2

Well that song was to become our anthem. It was still playing on a loop when I woke up the next morning. We took a long shower together and managed to finally get dressed about noon. With our immediate future laid out, I felt at peace for the first time in months. I had loved this woman all these years and sadly wasted many with my pride and pig headiness. I was too irritated at Gregorio when she first mentioned that we were a 'thing'. Brody saw it to which is now clear apparent why she insisted on call me Sonja's 'work husband'.

Chrissy was so happy to see us both back. We sat down on the sofa after dinner and she was torn between which one she wanted to embrace for that second. First on my lap, then Sonja's. Then she went into her room to get one of her baby dolls and came back got into Sonja' lap. Sonja took the time to talk to both of them. Then back off to her room bring back her book choice for the night. So I took her hand and took her into her room and took her through our nightly routine. After she first sat down in my lap in the rocker, she decided to jump off and ran out of the room. I discovered later that she had to go tell mommy nite, nite. Back safely in my lap she laughs as we recited nursery rhymes together. I put the book down and held her tightly in my arms and her eyes slowly closed.

The first thing Monday morning after I fed Chrissy, I called Director Vance. I told him that I was looking to relocate to D.C. and had seen a position with Treasury Department and hoped that he would give me a favorable recommendation. 'No problem Agent LaSalle. You have done a wonderful for us down there in New Orleans. However, I know that Agent Pride will miss your skills as an officer and your comradery with the team.

My second communication was with the attorney for LaSalle Industries. I told Rachel that it was time for me to leave the company. We talked about if I should just sell out or hire professional staff to run the day to day operations and remain chairman of the board. I told her that I would have to discuss it with my mother and my wife to be. Her attention popped up at the last words. "Wife?" She said. "Yes Rachel, I am marrying Chrissy mother. I should have done it a long time ago. I will be sending you the changes that I want to my will. Sonja's attorney will be contacting you as well as they work out their side of the pre-nup. I will let you know later about the date of the wedding and where but I hope to land a job here in the next sixty days and will relocate, married or not."