In Spying, Love, and War: A This Means War Fanfiction Story
Special Feature/Alternate Ending 2: Not So Easy Couplings?
Just after Heinrich's van crash tumble falls into the highway below...
Faint clouds of smoke come from the burning wreckage of construction equipment.
The sun is kind of glaring in FDR's eyes.
FDR slightly groans. He rubs his eyes, closing them.
He opens them, looking across the section of freeway.
And, across the freeway... He sees Lauren in Tuck's arms.
They've pulled each other close, with their arms wrapped around each other's sides.
They make out some.
Then... FDR checks, "are you okay?"
Lauren and Tuck pull away some. But, they still have their arms wrapped around each other.
More cheerfully... Lauren says, "yeah. Yeah, I am now."
But, noticing FDR looks uncomfortable... They both slightly turn to FDR.
Tuck checks in concern, "forget how we are right now. Are you okay, man?"
FDR kinds of waves it off with his hand in the air.
He insists, "it's nothing. Really. You're the best man I know. You're very lucky to be with Lauren."
He's starting to get teary eyed though.
Lauren kind of nervously says, "thank you. But...you sure you're okay?"
FDR figures, "yeah. I just... Faint laugh. I just am going to go back to our room. I kind of want some time alone, thinking. But, if you need a cleaner or a extraction, feel free to call."
Lauren nervously says, "hopefully not a cleaner to dispose a body. But, all right."
Tuck mostly assures, "it's okay: Usually, we don't need one."
Lauren faintly smiles. She adds, "ohh. Oh good."
Tuck adds, "well...all right. Take care of yourself."
He and FDR kind of awkwardly shake hands.
FDR firmly nods. He says, "thank you. Take care."
Then... He run jumps off the gap of freeway.
He activates his parachute.
Soon, he's touching down on a rectangular walled edge of highway.
Lauren and Tuck turn back to each other.
Police cars and ambulances are coming down the highway below. The distant sound of sirens can be heard.
A mostly red and white news helicopter is flying over the highway. A blue number 8 is on its side.
Tuck figures, "I think it would be good to go ourselves."
Lauren very faintly smiles. She asks, "where are you thinking?"
Tuck offers, "maybe back to the training facility while it's closed?"
Lauren keeps very faintly smiling. She says, "all right. I could really go for going again."
Tuck says, "good. I'll pick you up at 8."
They briefly kiss.
Then, they pull away.
They stand there, hand in hand.
Some police cars are coming up the 310 Freeway to check things out.
Tuck is already getting out his C.I.A. badge to show the police.
Nervously... Lauren considers, "yeah. That's good. But..."
Tuck asks kind of nervously, "what's wrong, Lauren?"
Lauren admits, "I'm...I'm just worried about FDR. I think he's starting to feel depressed because I didn't choose him."
Tuck solemnly admits, "yeah. I'm worried for him as well. He's like my brother. But... Moderate sigh. When he wants to be alone, he means it. On the other hand...if he really is still troubled, he'll tell us."
Lauren asks, "you sure?"
Tuck mostly assures, "I'm sure."
Lauren faintly smiles. She adds, "okay."
Meanwhile... Some certain recent text messages from Trish appear on Tuck's cell phone's screen.
After a police car ride to Trish's and Lauren's house...
Lauren starts to go in through the front door.
She then turns back to Tuck, pausing at the door.
She says, "thank you for coming back with me."
Tuck faintly smiles. He mostly assures, "anytime, Lauren."
Lauren solemnly says, "thank you. But, with Trish in the hospital... Moderate sigh. I'm glad she's going to be okay. But, I want to be there for her. She'd do it for me."
Looking confused... Tuck says, "wait. I still kind of don't understand. Why did we come back just to...?"
Lauren points out awkwardly, "I wanted to check the home phone and get some things for Trish. You're welcome to stay if you want. Really. But, I don't know how long I'll be in the hospital with Trish. And, you haven't even met Linus. So..."
Completely unphased... Tuck concludes, "I understand now. It's okay."
Lauren faintly smiles. She says, "okay. I love you."
Tuck says, "I love you too."
They briefly kiss.
That night, in FDR's and Tuck's shared room...
Tuck is coming back from his date, standing out by the door.
Most everything reinsured hasn't come in yet, and FDR is restlessly trying to sleep under the sheets. So, Tuck thought it was good to stay outside of the room as much as possible.
Soon, Tuck and Lauren are on their cell phones.
Lauren is in her bedroom with the lights out, getting ready to go to sleep.
Mostly under the sheets and in the dark, she's wearing her white laced lingerie and bra.
Over the phone... Tuck figures, "I was thinking of also getting out more spy gadgets and bugs to not officially test out at your place. But, maybe next week."
Lauren goes wide eyed. She playfully grins.
Over the phone... She says, "I already love it. Do you know about...?"
Tuck replies, "yes, I know you love being bugged. Why else do you think I'd bring bugs to your place?"
Lauren blushes a little.
She concludes, "ohh. You're so good at really knowing and caring for people: Specially me."
Tuck faintly smiles. He says, "you're welcome. Sleep well, Lauren."
Lauren concludes, "thank you. I think I will."
She moderately sighs. She yawns.
Nervously... Lauren tries to assure, "try to sleep well, Tuck. I know it's not easy right now. But, your things will come back."
Tuck adds solemnly, "I know. But...thank you."
Lauren tells him, "you're welcome."
They hang up.
But, because of their worries... All of them soon find it hard to sleep.
A few days later...
Collins figures, "still... If there's anything we or the F.B.I. can do for you, please let us know. You deserve it, boys."
There's a brief awkward silence.
Tuck says, "thank you. But...I think we're good."
They start to leave.
But, after Tuck leaves... FDR stays in the office.
He kind of nervously turns back to Collins.
He considers, "actually boss, there is one thing. But..."
Collin is quick to assume, "sorry FDR. But, agent Dive Chair does not like you that way."
FDR moderately sighs. He kind of clenches his fists.
He mutters under his breath, "that's not what I...! Moderate sigh. Just forget it, boss. I should know better than to ask spies for pointers on dating."
Collins looks kind of shaken.
Kind of nervously... She tries to say, "FDR..."
FDR doesn't turn back to her. He just storms out the door, slamming it shut behind him.
Collins heavily sighs.
She's kind of quickly going back to looking through intelligence reports on her desk. But, only because she's very good at her job.
A few weeks later, at Lauren's and Trish's house...
Out in the front... Tuck is standing in the open doorway, wearing black jeans and a red, blue, and white checkered collared buttoned overshirt.
Lauren is wearing a tan brown top with a loose cut down her exposed left shoulder, a brown leather bracelet with a gold buckle around her left wrist, and black jeans. Her hair is slightly curly. She's also wearing silvery cross earrings Tuck bought for her.
She's standing in front of Tuck, her arms wrapped around his sides.
Tuck faintly smiles.
A dark blue lined tan buggy styled car is pulled up, with Trish in the co-pilot seat. The retractable roof is down.
Trish is wearing a grayish blue jeans like buttoned jacket and a light red strapped sleeveless dress under it.
Lauren adds, "I love you."
Tuck says, "I love you too. You two have a good time."
Lauren grins. She says, "we will."
They pull each other close.
They make out some, with some low groans of pleasure.
Then... Tuck and Lauren pull away.
Lauren waves goodbye to him as she walks to the car.
She gets into the driver's seat, buckling up. Trish is already buckled.
Trish calls back, "and don't let Linus play Ghost Recon! He's not really a guy now: He's four."
Kind of annoyedly... Tuck says, "yeah. All right, Trish."
Trish waves, faintly smiling.
Tuck waves goodbye to both of them.
He closes the door behind him as he goes back into the house.
Lauren starts driving the car down the street.
They're heading for the highways, coming around for the San Francisco-Oakland Bay Bridge.
As they're driving... Trish smiles.
She reflects, "all right. I'm liking these nights out: Living vicariously through him and not having to think about Linus every second."
Lauren faintly chuckles. She adds, "I just knew you would admit it one of these days."
Trish faintly chuckles. She says, "well, I'm impressed and proud of you."
Lauren blushes a little. Lauren grins.
She adds, "ohh. Thank you."
After a bit... Lauren reflects, "being with Tuck... Faint chuckle. It's like a wet dream I'm never waking up from. I never felt so thrilled with a guy in my entire life. He's so driven and kind. He's like nice cool bottled water you wanna never get enough of."
Trish faintly smiles. She remarks, "I'll even buy you more boxes of wet wipes to blot the dripping."
Lauren chuckles hard, almost having to pull over to catch her breath.
But, on their girl's night out...they keep driving no problem over the San Francisco-Oakland Bay Bridge.
A few nights later, in FDR's and Tuck's shared room...
FDR is by himself on the couch, with his arms over the back cushioning.
He's wearing a black T-shirt and blue jeans.
He's nervously tapping his fingers over the couch. He looks a little sleepy and pale.
A few mostly empty glass bottles of spilled booze are on the wooden floor.
The reinsured TV and boombox are turned off. The TV remote is banged up, lying near one of the glass bottles.
Then... FDR hears a knock on the door.
FDR heavily sighs into his hands.
After feeling more feeling in his kind of numb arms... He hears a knock again.
FDR heavily sighs.
He walks over to the door anyway.
He answers it, kind of shoving it all the way open.
Once he sees who's at the door... He looks stunned.
He sees Lauren in a mostly dark blue air hostess outfit, nervously stepping in. She has her hair down, slightly curly, and in a kind of dripping wet mess.
She closes the door behind her.
FDR asks incredulously, "Lauren?! What... What the hell is this? You could've at least called for..."
Lauren gulps nervously.
She somberly says, "I'm... I'm sorry. Hard sniffle. But, I lost my cell phone. And... Heavy sigh. I don't know who else to..."
Very nervously... FDR quickly says, "it's going to be okay. Just... Moderate sigh. Please sit down."
Lauren very faintly smiles. She nods.
She sits down on the couch. She sighs in relief at sitting down.
FDR sits next to her.
Very nervously... Lauren asks him, "could you check for bugs? I think I got mites or something."
FDR gulps nervously. He knew immediately what that was code for.
He checks her over for any spy bugs.
As he does... Lauren whispers, "thank you."
FDR doesn't find any spy bugs.
But, from the corner of his eye...he catches something: Hints of a sewn seam for a wig.
A cold glare starts appearing on FDR's face.
Lauren asks, "FDR, what's...?"
FDR shouts, "get out of my room, Trish! Get out!"
The fake Lauren sighs heavily.
Tears start falling from her face.
With her real voice... She murmurs, "shit, I'm sorry. I..."
She then breaks down on the floor, crying.
FDR very nervously stands there, speechless.
After a long minute... FDR apologizes, "Trish... Faint sniffle. I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have shouted."
The fake Lauren kind of slowly looks up at him.
She rolls down the rubber face mask over her face...to reveal Trish's kind of sweaty face under it.
She holds the rubber mask in one hand. But, she puts her hands up.
She's breathing nervously in and out as some more tears fall.
After another long minute... Trish nervously admits, "thank you. But...I wasn't trying to hurt you. Faint sniffle! I thought you'd find out who I was quicker...because of your spy bugs. I already knew it. But... Heavy nervous sigh. This isn't a good time, and there probably isn't. Faint sniffle. I understand and I'm sorry."
Trish starts fast walking out the door, teary eyed still.
But... FDR can't help but wonder, "why did you come knowing I'd know? Maybe you should still get out. But... Moderate sigh. I have to be honest: I'd like to at least know why."
Trish pauses at the door, turning back to face him.
She very faintly chuckles.
The tears stop falling, despite the teariness in her eyes.
Trish admits, "I'd never break up Lauren's coupling with any guy. But... Faint sniffle! I came because I thought if you saw me pretending to be Lauren, it would help you feel better. Came pretending to be her... Faint sniffle! ...knowing you'd know... ...to see if I could be as good as her for you."
FDR goes wide eyed.
With mixed feelings... FDR mutters under his breath, "shit, shit, shit... Oh, god. Um...how can I say this without you being hurt again? Heavy sigh. Oh god!"
He kind of falls back on the couch.
He groans. He sighs heavily into his hands.
Trish sits next to him.
There's a very nervous silence.
After a few long minutes... Trish concludes nervously, "umm... I don't know if this will be helpful. I only know a few things about you from Lauren. But... Faint sniffle. You look to be my kind of guy. So, if there is anything beside my man stink that you'd like me to change...I'd least think it with you."
FDR moderately sighs.
Somewhat coldly... He figures, "sorry. Maybe I really appreciate going to all this trouble for me. But...my family wouldn't approve. I respect how you live your life. But, it has a lot of health risks. I worry myself sick anyway. And, well...what's left to really think about?"
Then, surprisingly... Trish faintly chuckles.
Sounding a little better... She pinpoints, "well FDR...here's what I think: Lauren doesn't let me touch her anywhere else but her hands except after I've showered. I haven't to you. But... Faint chuckle. Guys usually get in and shower after dirty deeds. I don't have to because I'm a woman who does whatever shit she wants and no one tells it to my face on the streets. I shower for special occasions. Visiting a family is one. Give me a nice looking Q and A, and I can pass off as pretend clean for you. Faint chuckle. I'd try. But, I can't promise to be completely clean. I get tested before every night I maybe go out. But, I rarely see alarming shit with rubber between and shit. Please tell me if I missed probable alarming shit with me here. Or, if it makes it really easy for you...just tell me to go and I will. Okay?"
FDR sits nervously there, finding it hard to look up.
He then rubs his eyes with one hand, checking if he's going to wake up soon.
But, as he opens them... He realizes he's not dreaming.
After a bit... He asks nervously, "Trish?"
Trish wonders, "yes?"
FDR very faintly chuckles.
Sounding a little better... He figures, "oh god, you're crazy. Maybe I'm going crazy. Maybe it's the alcohol. But... Very faint chuckle. You showered? Because now you have me thinking of a incredible dirty deed we could do."
With her arms out... Trish goes, "yes! I have dirty deeds with you. Oh my god, that's awesome!"
She faintly chuckles. FDR faintly laughs.
Before FDR can say anything... Trish quickly adds, "yes: I showered."
FDR looks kind of uncomfortable as he faintly smiles, still wrapping his head around it all.
Trish is smiling wide as she goes over to the kitchen with the mask.
She starts running water and liquid soap over the inner part of the mask.
Kind of casually... She calls out lowly, "I'll clean the mask up so you don't worry, my superhorniness! Okay?"
FDR laughs, doubling over.
After a bit, he catches his breath.
He calls back, "okay!"
Soon...
Trish is standing by the wall, wearing the Lauren rubber mask over her face.
She's topless, down to her black lingerie and bra.
FDR is pulling his T-shirt off.
Trish starts feeling up his sides and arms. FDR start pulling her in closer.
Trish pulls him in close, lightly putting her hands around his neck.
They kiss.
They start making out.
On impulse... Trish unexpectedly kind of jumps up, wrapping her legs around his waist.
FDR wraps his arms around her lower body, only a little heavy to someone in the spy field.
He brings her to the sheeted bed, lying down on his side.
Trish kind of tumbles alongside him, letting go of his waist.
She chuckles. FDR faintly laughs.
They lie down together more flat faced, with FDR on top of her.
They're making out again.
Trish is feeling up his arms and legs like crazy.
Soon, FDR is starting to pull off his pants. Trish helps him pull it off quicker off the bed.
And, through the night... Faint laughing, faint chuckling, and kind of loud moans and groans of pleasure come from the room.
A few months or so later, in Trish's and Lauren's house...
It's early morning. The sun is just fully coming up.
And, up in Lauren's bedroom... Hints of movement are under the sheets of the king sized bed.
It's kind of dim up here. Hints of familiar faces are on the white pillows.
Ten spilled empty bottles of booze, some glass shards, some empty bags of Cheetos, and little Cheetos crumbs are on the floor.
FDR wakes up, sitting up in the bed.
He's topless, with Cheetos crumbs lined over his face and neck. His hands have some too. They're a little red and feeling a little sore.
His arms and sides are kind of bruised.
He groans, rubbing his eyes with the clean back part of his hands.
Then... He faintly grins, slightly turning to his right.
A little groggy... He says, "hey."
Trish is already sitting up in the bed.
Her hair is only kind of a mess. And, she's not wearing a mask.
She's topless, with Cheetos crumbs lined over her face and neck. Her hands have some too. They're red and feeling sore.
Her arms are kind of red all over.
Trish faintly smiles. She faintly chuckles.
She says, "hello. How are you feeling?"
FDR concludes, "all right. You're my incredible werewolf. But..."
Trish smiles wide. She wonders, "what is it, my superhorniness?"
She puts a comforting hand on his.
FDR asks, "how much did we drink?"
Trish looks kind of amused. She tries to be assuring, "we're not sitting in a jail cell or being interrogated by the C.I.A. We're not in the hospital and we could probably walk. Does it matter?"
FDR nervously brings up, "well...it kind of does when we're getting up in Lauren's bed. I don't remember that."
Trish is lightly feeling up his arms, not caring how sore her hands are.
She insists, "it doesn't matter, FDR. We'll get out and get through it: Even if I have to drive you out there myself, get arrested, and then you smuggle in some blindfolds for dirty deeds so I could extract myself with a horny guard and leave him out for the guards."
FDR laughs, kind of doubling over.
He faintly smiles. He adds, "thank you."
Trish smiles back. She faintly chuckles.
Then... Lauren wakes up with a startle in the bed.
Looking kind of startled herself... Trish stops feeling up FDR's arms.
Tuck starts to get up in the bed. He moderately sighs nervously.
Both him and Lauren are topless.
Tuck has Cheetos crumbs mostly lined around his face and hands. Lauren only has some around her hands and side.
FDR looks very nervous and wide eyed. So does Lauren.
Tuck hiccups a little.
Lauren murmurs, "whew. Ah. Oh my god! This is crazy."
She's very nervously breathing in and out.
Looking pale... Tuck wonders, "did we just..."
FDR nervously finishes the thought, "...do it with each other?"
There's a very awkward silence.
After a bit... Trish smiles wide.
Everyone else in the bed looks at her funny.
Completely unphased... Trish concludes, "you know...we could live our lives like this: If it's what we're all okay with. Same time every Saturday?"
There's a brief awkward silence.
Then... FDR, Tuck, and Lauren faintly smile.
They're laughing and chuckling, almost doubling over.
After catching their breaths though... They all say yes.