A/N: hello, my lovely readers :) I'm excited for you guys to read this here chapter. It's not as long as some of my previous ones, but it's important, of course! I really love writing in Edward's point of view! Let me know what ya think :)

disclaimer: I do not own twilight!

EPOV:

I could feel it in my very bones that she was alive. I just knew it. My brain, heart, mind and soul refused to accept anything else. Her and I would spend the rest of our lives together, no matter what. I would search for her forever if that's what it took. She belonged with me, safe and smiling in my arms.

All I cared about was her safety and happiness, and she didn't have either one of those at the moment. It made me so fucking sick to my stomach.

"Edward, have you gotten any sleep?" Mom asked as she approached me in the kitchen. It was a bit after 6 in the morning. Bella was in my arms 24 hours ago, sleeping with a peaceful smile on her face, where she was protected and loved. I choked back the tears that threatened to fall and turned towards Mom, planting a weak smile on my face.

"About an hour or 2."

She sighed, heartbroken, before sitting next to me at the island in the kitchen, wrapping her arm around my shoulder in comfort. "Honey, I know you're hurting, but please do everything you can to take care of yourself."

"I can't seem to do anything like that at the moment."

"Bella wouldn't want you like this. She would want you to do what's best for you."

"What's best for me is having her by my side, Mom. This fucked up situation is the very last thing that is best for me," I scoffed, staring into my mug of black coffee. Almost the same color as my Bella's eyes. Just not as warm or filled with love and strength. And, definitely not as captivating. I scowled and pushed my mug away from my sight. Everything reminded me of her and it fucking hurt.

"You think we don't know that, Edward? We know how you feel for her. I honestly thought you were in love with Jane. But, comparing the way you look at Bella to the way you looked at Jane... I do not think that was the case, anymore. Bella is your one and only. It pours out of you so easily, Edward. From your eyes, to your smile, to your attitude. You're in love."

I felt the tears prickling down my skin in a haste. I really thought I would be out of tears to cry by now, but I guess that was not the case. "Mom... I just... I need her."

"I know you do, baby, I know. She needs you, too, which is why she will come back to us," she cooed as she pulled me against her chest. I rested my head there and cried as she kissed the top of my head repeatedly. I felt her own tears fall onto the top of my head. I began sobbing uncontrollably, the pain and exhaustion taking another swing at me. Mom held me tightly in her arms and allowed my emotions to burst out of me like a geyser. The searing pain rippled through me like a current that was so strong, you could never make it back to shore. My heart was nothing but a hallow ghost, nothing without her. I would never be anything without my Bella by my side.

My crying finally subsided, but Mom didn't let me go. I pulled away from her, smiling sadly. "I don't know what to do, Mom. I don't know what road to take... where to turn. I'm so fucking lost, and I'm so fucking scared. I would fall apart if anything happened to her."

"As much as it hurts, many aspects of this problem are out of your control. At this point, all there is to do is let the police do what they can. You can only do so much, Edward."

"It just doesn't feel right."

"What do you mean?"

"That I can only do so much in a situation that includes the girl I love being in danger."

"Oh, dear, I know it is hard. I can't imagine what is going through your head at the moment, but you must understand that you are only human. You're barely 18, baby. You're not supposed to have all the answers," she mumbled as she brushed some hair away from my forehead with concern in her light brown eyes. She looked truly broken: she saw Bella as a daughter and was clearly distraught over losing her.

"Well, someone has to, and I'm the one who should be protecting her most," I croaked, feeling the hopelessness parade through my body, yet again. What kind of a man allows the woman he loves to be taken by such terrible people? I don't deserve Bella at all.

"Like I said, you're doing everything you can. She is lucky to have someone like you."

"I'll believe that when I get her back," I vowed in a small breath.

Alice and our friends woke up a couple hours after I did, each of them looking as if they hadn't slept at all. The weight of their emotions was evident in their eyes and the expressions on their faces, the way they carried themselves. Everyone seemed to be wearing heavy bags of stress under their eyes. It was like we were all zombies - the life sucked out of us the second Bella disappeared.

"What can we do today? Anything else in mind that might help?" Emmett asked after taking a big gulp of coffee.

"It doesn't help that we don't know Phil or his little followers," Jasper spat with venom in his voice.

"Well, I'm going to the La Push police station in a few minutes, if anyone wants to join," I offered.

They all agreed with no hesitation. Mom and Dad were coming, too. We piled into separate cars and raced over there through the rain.

"Did you take your pain medicine, Edward?" Dad asked in his doctor-voice as he maneuvered his car through the streets with ease.

Shit. I completely forgot I even broke my hand. I've been so consumed by my emotional pain, that the physical pain is past the point of registration. There is no more room in my body for any other pain besides the loss of Bella. "Er, no."

"Edward," he began to scold. "You need to get that hand healed up."

"Well, those meds aren't for the type of pain I'm looking to ease."

He sighed dejectedly. "I know, but you still have to take them. If not for yourself, do it for your mother and I. And Bella. We're worried about you, and she would be, as well."

"He's right, Edward," Mom chimed in.

I understood their concern, but I just wished they would realize that I didn't give 2 fucks about my hand. I could break every bone in my body and I wouldn't even notice. There was nothing for me to focus on besides finding Bella. How could they think I even had room in my mind to think about anything else?

The rest of the drive to La Push was spent in silence. I flew my door open - to the best of my ability with my good hand - and practically ran inside the building.

Kate, Sam, Paul and Harry were seated in the same back corner, each looking at monitors and paperwork.

"What's new?" I asked the second they were in hearing range. My friends and family looked at them with eager expressions on their faces, waiting for answers they may or may not want to hear.

"We spoke to the bartender at corked. He said Phil definitely does not own a cabin, it was just an idea he had. We can't see any property in his name other than his house in Forks. He also said Phil and Bree Tanner have been broken up for a few months now. Sam and Paul are going to head over to her place today to see what she knows. Billy Black's car is still the only one we cannot seem to find. We just sent out a memo to many stations in Washington to watch out for the old BMW in the Black's garage. We are very certain he either took Bella in that car, or Billy's. We don't have a license plate or registration under Billy or Jacob for that BMW, though," Kate filled us in.

"So, basically, we don't really have anything new," I huffed.

"Not exactly. All information is helpful in a case like this," Harry explained.

"None of it seems like enough, though. They could be anywhere," Emmett spoke up.

"We understand that. We're doing what we can," Paul grunted in annoyance.

"Can I come with you? To speak with Bree Tanner?" I looked to Paul and Sam.

"Since I feel real sorry for ya, kid, sure," Sam agreed.

"What about us? Can we come?" Dad asked.

"We shouldn't bring an entire squad of people. We don't know her feelings at the moment towards Phil. We don't want to scare her off or overwhelm her. The rest of you are welcome to stay here at the station and do whatever you can. Edward, we will be leaving in 5 minutes."

"Edward will be safe, right?" Mom inquired, concern written on her face.

Paul chuckled. "Yeah, he'll be fine."

"Alright, I'm ready whenever you guys are, then."

The drive to Bree's took a good hour. I sat in the back of the police cruiser, feeling the same way a person would who actually belongs in this backseat. Lost, confused, angry, helpless. I watched as the - now leafless - trees blew in the wind, the rain hitting them with force.

"What if she's not there?" I asked.

"We got a hold of her phone number and called. She said she will be home," Paul explained.

I nodded my acceptance.

"You still look like hell, kid. Did you sleep at all?" Sam looked at me through the rearview mirror.

"Barely."

They left me alone the rest of the drive, filling the tense silence with old rock music from the radio. Paul drummed his fingers against the dash, clearly impatient with the boredom.

We pulled up to a little one-story house in a quiet neighborhood on the outskirts of Port Angeles. It was homey, and welcoming. I can't imagine someone like that dating Phil.

We knocked on the door and waited until a short, slender woman with a small smile on her face opened up. She had long, dark hair that was thick and frizzy with dark eyes to match. She looked to be younger than Phil - maybe in her mid-30's, while Phil was in his mid-40's.

"Hello, gentleman. Please come in." She stepped aside to make room for us. We entered and sat in the quaint living room, forcing an orange cat to flee in fear.

"Don't worry, Bo is very shy. Would you guys like anything to drink?" She offered.

"I think some waters would be great," Sam said.

She returned with the waters and sat on the sofa next to me, while Sam and Paul sat on the opposite sofa, facing us. They immediately pulled notepads out of their shirt pockets and clicked their pens to life.

"First, we want to thank you for speaking with us. I'm Paul, this is my partner, Sam. The kid is the boyfriend of Phil's stepdaughter, and he wanted to come along and speak with you, as well. Name's Edward."

She patted my knee in comfort. "I'm so sorry about Bella, sweetie. I will give whatever information you need that may help." I could only offer a tiny smile in return.

"So, when and where did you meet Phil Dwyer?"

"At a pub in town, about a year ago. I remember it was in between Halloween and Thanksgiving."

"Did you become romantic right away?"

"No, that didn't happen until after Christmas."

"Were you serious or just - for a lack of better words - fooling around?"

She sighed, wearing a heavy frown. "I guess you could say somewhere in the middle. We agreed not to see other people, but we never spoke about the future. Kind of living in the moment type of deal."

"Had he ever mentioned Bella to you?" I interrupted, even though I probably shouldn't have, since this was technically official police work. I just couldn't help myself.

"Yes, a few times. He said he had a stepdaughter who he was the sole guardian of. He described her as shy and nerdy, always reading and doing homework. But, he never, ever spoke badly of her. He must have been a great actor, because he spoke as if he loved her like his own."

Her words caused fire to spread in my system. How dare he put on a charade, acting as if he took care of Bella? He did nothing but destroy everything about her.

"Did he ever mention you meeting her?" Sam asked.

She shook her head. "No, which kind of told me how he felt about our relationship. I figured - if he was serious about me - he would offer to introduce me to his daughter."

"Have you ever met any of his friends?"

"Yes, many. He seemed to be very well-liked in Forks. I drove over a lot and went to the bar with him. He seemed to know everyone."

"Were these people aqcuaintences, or did he actually sit and speak with them?"

"Mostly just saying hello. He had one particular friend that came from out of town to visit him. The 3 of us were in the bar that entire weekend he stayed in Forks until the bar closed, chatting with him. I've never seen Phil talk so much in my life. I remember him because his name was interesting. Laurent."

"How does he know him?" I asked.

"He never said. I just know he isn't from around here, I think he said he was from somewhere in Oregon - the southwest part of the state."

Suddenly, Paul and Sam seemed excited, their eyes lighting up as if they had found buried treasure after years of searching for it. "Do you know his last name? We feel as though Phil could be in Oregon. His car was found abandoned in a motel parking lot on the way there."

She frowned, a look of guilt in her eyes. "I never got his last name. I just know he was African American, maybe closer to Phil's age than mine. He had long dreadlocks and was rather tall. Phil spoke very highly of him - I could tell they were close friends."

"This could be it! It makes sense. Phil would obviously run to someone close to him, who also isn't from Forks. Nobody would ever know him," Paul said, and his enthusiasm caused hope to wash over me like a hot shower. Could this really be it? Could this Laurent be the answer to all of our questions?

"Were they close enough for Laurent to risk harboring a fugitive?" Sam inquired, quirking a thick brow.

"It truly seemed that way."

"Did you get any type of violent vibe from either of them?"

"Honestly - no. That's why I was so shocked to hear of what Phil had done to Bella."

They nodded their understanding while I felt my thoughts race through my mind faster than I could even stop to comprehend them. Did this Laurent person have anything to do with Bella's disappearance? If so, what exactly is his role? What if he has nothing to do with it, and we could be wasting our time? The stress of my worries was really beginning to take a huge toll on me. I felt like I couldn't even think straight anymore.

After discovering that Bree must not have much more knowledge, Sam and Paul decided we had hounded her enough.

"Edward, wait!" She called after me once Sam and Paul shuffled outside towards the car.

I turned back around, facing her. "What is it?"

She sighed, and a clouded look appeared in her eyes. "Don't give up, okay? I see the pain you're going through, and I can see in your eyes that you truly love her. Don't let him win, got it?"

I nodded. "I never planned to."

"She is lucky, to have someone like you so worried about her."

"I think she is the furthest thing from lucky."

"Well, she has you, so I don't think that's true. Take care of yourself, Edward. I wish I could do more to help. If you think of anything, please don't hesitate to call me. Sam and Paul have my number."

I nodded and offered a weak smile. She graced me with a small hug before I surrendered myself to the rain, hoping the information she gave us on Laurent could be of help.

The cops wanted to get some information on Laurent as soon as we got back to the station. The questions whirling around in my brain combined with the lack of sleep were putting me into a state of exhaustion that I didn't even know existed. I shuffled inside mechanically, spotting my family and friends next to Kate and Harry in the corner.

"How'd it go?" Dad asked.

"Bree told us about a close friend of Phil's - Laurent - who lives in Oregon. We want to put him into our system and see what we could find. Since Phil's car was found abandoned on the way to Oregon, we think he could play a part in this," Sam explained as he began typing on his computer.

"Sounds great," Kate smiled warmly.

"Why don't you go home and sleep, Edward? You look like death, and you know we'll call if anything comes up," Paul suggested as he poured himself a cup of coffee.

I wanted to protest - to tell them that I will never rest until my Bella was found - but I was so tired that I could barely keep my eyes open. I merely nodded and allowed my family and friends to take me home.

Once I got inside, I trotted slowly towards the stairs and up to Bella's room. If I was going to sleep at all, it needed to be in her bed, where I was surrounded with her smell and the warmth that she seemed to leave in her wake.

I collapsed onto her bed, pulling the covers around me tightly. In a matter of seconds, I was out cold.

By the time I woke back up, it was completely dark in Bella's room. We returned from the station around 1 PM, so I must have been asleep for at least 4 hours. I checked my phone: 6:13 PM.

I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes in a daze before slowly padding towards Bella's bathroom. I hopped in the shower and grabbed her strawberry shampoo, opening the lid and inhaling the familiar scent. My eyes begin the swim with tears immediately after my brain recognized the smell. I inhaled it so many times that I was afraid my sense of smell would stop working.

I tiredly collapsed on the shower floor, clutching the shampoo bottle tightly to my chest as if it were Bella herself. I welcomed the tears as the sobs racked my body. Thank God Dad provided me with a state-of-the-art waterproof cast.

I sobbed for what felt like hours, her face present every time I closed my eyes. My heart tore in my chest, feeling as though it was only hanging on by a thread. I tried to think of anything - anything at all - that might help bring her back, but came up with nothing.

How could I allow this to happen? How many fucking times did I promise her that I would always protect her? That I would never let anything or anyone hurt her ever again? How many times did I look her in the eye and tell her she was safe as long as I was alive?

How many lies did I tell her?

She must hate me. I promised that Phil would never be a part of her life again and I failed her. I failed her just the same way that he had. I told her I loved her, and how did I show it? By allowing her to be abducted by a sick fucker.

And the winner of this year's "world's worst boyfriend" award goes to... Edward Cullen!

I felt sick to my stomach because of my immense failure. I always knew I was undeserving of Bella, but now it was even more evident. She probably wants nothing to do with me once she comes home. Would I be able to handle that much more heartbreak? Probably fucking not.

I stepped out of the shower and glanced at myself in the mirror after wiping the steam away. A hallow man glanced back at me. The pain in his eyes was truly frightening. There was rage in his eyes, too. A burning rage, one that would easily scare anyone away. I've never seen that's look on my own face. Probably because I've never felt the need to kill anyone until I came across Phil Dwyer. Now, Billy Black and his disgusting son were added to my hit list. I would make sure they paid for what they have done.

What methods of torture would I use? The classic "break every single bone slowly and painfully while they begged for death?" Maybe. But, that didn't seem like enough. I thought back to a fucked up horror film I watched with Emmett one time. It was about a demon who possesses children to kill their families in the most gruesome way they could think of.

Let's see... one child hung her family upside-down and fed them to crocodiles. Another placed rats on their parents' stomachs and covered the rats with a bucket, so they would eat through their bodies. Another child strapped his family members to lawn chairs and pushed them into the pool.

All of those were such horrid ways of torture that I could barely watch the film. But, now, they seemed to lack the amount of pain and gore that I wanted Phil, Billy and Jacob to endure.

I glanced down and noticed my knuckles turning white because of the way I grasped onto the counter. Almost as if I was holding on for dear life.

I guess I was.

I headed downstairs and found Mom, Dad and Alice sitting in the living room. The TV was on, but none of them were watching it. They sat still with emotionless expressions on their faces, all 3 of them staring at nothing in particular.

Once they heard me approach, all their heads whipped in my direction. I offered them a weak smile.

"How did you sleep, honey?" Mom asked.

"As well as possible, I guess. What have you guys been up to?" I asked as I sat on the sofa next to Alice.

"Absolutely nothing. We just... don't even know what to do," Dad mumbled.

"It feels wrong without her... Everything feels wrong. Eating dinner, watching movies. We can't do any of it, Edward. She's a part of this family," Alice added, her voice just above a whisper.

"She needs to come home," I uttered pathetically, looking down at my hands in my lap.

"We will bring her home. She is my daughter, and I will not stop until she is found," Dad vowed.

"But what are we supposed to do, Carlisle? Where do we turn? We don't have enough information to find her," Mom muttered sadly.

"That's why we keep looking!" He contradicted.

"We're trying! We're doing what we can, but it will never feel like enough," Mom began to cry, and Dad pulled her into his side, stroking her hair softly. He looked around the room frantically, as if the answers we needed were written on the walls. If only that was the fucking case.

"We will find her, everyone. I know we will. Please, do not give up hope," Dad said, and I looked down at my broken hand, the white of the cast taunting me, as if it were telling me that I should just give up hope.