A/N: okay soooo I am SO sorry I've been MIA lately! I picked up a second job. On top of that, my best friend called off her engagement with her fiancé (who is a total douche) and he's taking it out on her through their baby. He won't let her see the baby until they go to court and blah blah blah. He's making her life a living hell so I've been spending many, many nights at her house helping her build a case against him. So, I've been super busy! Sorry it took so long :/ I hope you enjoy this chapter! This story is winding down to an end—- SO SAD

Disclaimer: I do not own twilight!

BPOV:

I willed the warm water in the tub and the soothing scent of lavender to calm me down, but my heart was still racing in my chest with such speed that I was truly worried.

Decision-making always causes my anxiety to rise. It was even worse when I couldn't figure out what even needed to be decided.

I just knew things needed to change. I'm stuck in this vortex of pain. Every good thing always comes to an end for me. Who says Edward and his family and the new friends I've found because of him aren't any different?

That was one of the reasons I felt as if I should let him go. Not only am I trying to protect him from being stuck with a pathetic girl like me, but I'm trying to protect myself. If the new people in my life are added into the vortex, and I lose them, I wouldn't be able to cope. I can't grow any more attached to them before I'm forced to let go. I should walk away now, before it's far too late.

But I'm not strong enough.

I can't walk away from Edward, no matter how hard I try. He is my reason for existing. I'm nothing without him.

I began sobbing, clutching at my chest as it contorted in sharp pains. My head began to pound so hard from the force of my cries. For the life of me, I couldn't figure out what road to turn onto. My life was just too unpredictable, too filled with pain. It was like walking on fucking eggshells. One wrong move, and something terrible will happen again.

I don't know how long I was sobbing, but after some time, I heard a light knock on my bathroom door.

"Bella?" Edward's velvety voice was filled with grief. "Are you alright? You've been in there for a while."

The sound of his voice - filled with worry for me - brought on a new round of sobs. Edward heard, as he sounded frantic. "Baby, it's okay. Do you want me to get Alice or Mom to help you out of the tub?"

"Edward," was all I could whimper. I hoped he understand that I meant that I longed for him and nobody else. Right now, I would allow myself the pleasure of his arms. Otherwise, I would truly fall apart right then and there.

He understood - he always does. "Okay, love, I'm coming in."

He opened the door, and I was met with his agonized, yet astonishingly beautiful green eyes. He smiled sadly at me before reaching for the towel hung next to the bathtub. All I could do was continue sobbing as he reached into the tub and pulled me up, wrapping my soaking-wet body in the towel and clutching me to his chest.

I buried my face in his hard chest and cried severely, so hard that I felt as though I would burst with my salty tears.

Edward collapsed on my bathroom floor with me in his arms, rocking me back and forth as I cried. "Shh, baby, I'm here now. You're safe," he breathed as he peppered my forehead with tiny kisses. His lips sent that familiar spark through my system, and I knew I could never live without this glorious feeling that he manages to bring, even when I'm falling apart like this.

"It's just… too much," I hiccuped against the softness of his neck.

He stood up and carried me to my bed, laying me down and tucking me in. He laid next to me, wrapping me back into the warmth of his arms.

"You can talk to me about it, Bella. Tell me what you're thinking. I'm here to help, always."

I was sobbing too hard to form coherent sentences, so I just blubbered whatever I could. "My real dad leaves… Mom… cancer… Phil… rape… too much."

His voice cracked when he spoke. "Oh, baby, I know. I could only imagine how overwhelming this is. My mom said something very wise: difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations. It means that pushing through tough times will make you stronger in the end, and that, sometimes, struggling is the beginning of a great life. You will have a great life, now, Bella. I'll make sure of it, if it's the last thing I do."

My crying subsided enough to form an argument. "But, I've never had a great life. Everything great is always taken from me. How do I know you're not next? Or your family? Or friends? I'm going to lose somebody. It's the way my life works."

He cupped my face in his hands, searching my eyes. "Listen to me, love. You will never lose any of us. We all love you more than you know. We will be here to help you forever. Please, don't forget that, please."

"I'm just so… weak. I'm suffocating," I croaked.

"Then let me be your air."

I looked into his eyes and saw nothing but love and determination. "I'm serious, Bella. Let me help you heal. Let me show you how beautiful life and love can be. Let me hold you when you fall apart." He trailed his thumbs across my cheeks as he spoke, and the passion he felt for me was so very evident in his orbs. He was captivating me with one look. He was putting his soul in his eyes, willing me to understand the depth of his love.

"You shouldn't have to-"

He interrupted me with a scowl. "Don't finish that sentence. You've brought me back to life. Let me do the same for you."

I sighed. I didn't want to be anybody's burden, but I know Edward. He won't stop until I'm happy again. "Okay."

After my crying finally subsided, I got to really take a look at all the gifts everyone had graciously gotten me. I cried tears of joy this time when gazing at all the gifts. I couldn't believe they felt so strongly for me. Their friendship made my heart swell, and I couldn't wait to see them again.

Their gifts showed me that I was still Bella to them, even if I felt like a different person deep down. I was still the clumsy old girl who constantly embarrassed herself and always seemed to get the most drunk. I laughed lightly at the pictures from the collage, reminiscing on some of the best nights of my painful life.

I fell asleep in Edward's arms while clutching Emmett's bear to my chest, a smile on my face.

I slept peacefully for the first time in a week. Waking up in my bed, in Edward's arms, was one of the greatest feelings in the world. I didn't have to fear waking up to people who wanted me dead anymore. I could try to move on and put myself back together, with the help of my friends and family.

"Good morning, love," Edward murmured softly as he grazed his fingertips down my cheek.

"Morning," I smiled.

He suddenly frowned, and a look of pain flashed in his eyes. His brows furrowed in frustration.

"What is it?" I whispered, running my fingers through his bronze locks.

He sighed. "I'm so sorry, Bella, but there's something we need to discuss. It's going to be difficult, but it's important, alright?"

I nodded, my hands growing clammy.

"While you were in the tub last night, my Dad reminded me that it's vital that you get… checked. You know, for… STD's."

My mouth formed an "oh," and I looked at the wall. I couldn't brace something like that. It was nothing but a reminder of the fact that Jacob had assaulted me.

Edward kissed my forehead before resting his on it. "I'm sorry. I know you don't want to. I wish I could take away all your pain, baby, I really do."

I sighed deeply, not knowing what to say.

Edward kissed the tip of my nose. "Think of it this way: what's a few minutes of discomfort versus a lifetime of peace of mind? Let's just get this bullshit over with so we can truly move on and start over. How does that sound?"

He made a good point, and I couldn't disagree - no matter how fucking badly I wanted to.

That's how I found myself in the car with him an hour later, driving to the hospital. Carlisle was already there, but I didn't feel comfortable with him doing the STD check. I didn't want to make it more obvious to his family that I was just not enough for their son.

Edward gripped my hand tightly in his the entire time we walked through the parking lot and into the building. My heart was pounding and my hands were so clammy that I felt them slipping through Edward's vice grip. It still wasn't enough to make him let go.

Carlisle set me up with a female doctor, who he spoke very highly of. I entered a tiny room with Edward in tow. She was waiting for me at a computer chair, turning and smiling when she heard us approach.

She was a bit older than Carlisle, her eyes shining with wisdom. She was Native American, like Jacob, but there was no trace of malice in her face.

"Hello, Bella. I'm Doctor Clearwater, but you can call me Sue. Have a seat, get comfy. Hello, Edward, how are you?"

I furrowed my brows, confused as to how they knew one another. "I haven't seen Mrs. Clearwater in years. Alice used to do gymnastics with her daughter when we were very young."

I offered a tiny smile as I plopped lightly on the bed, the paper crinkling beneath me. Edward sat in the plastic chair next to the bed, his hand still holding mine.

"I'm so sorry you're here, Bella, but I'm glad you took the initiative to come. You're doing the right thing, dear," she reminded me with a smile.

"How long will the results take?" I asked timidly.

"Anywhere from 2 days up to a week. But, I have some information that could give you some peace of mind while you're waiting."

I scowled, confused. "What is it?"

"Since he's already deceased - and he was a terrible person, anyway - let's throw confidentiality out the window. I'm from La Push, where the community is very close. I can assure you that Jacob has never had a girlfriend, so that may help ease your mind."

I smiled. It made me feel a tad better, but who knows if he's never had a one night stand?

Edward decided to distract me throughout the entire process by telling me one of the most amazing stories I've ever heard while Dr. Clearwater did the procedure.

Edward told me that Rosalie beat Tanya Denali to a pulp in my honor. I couldn't control the tears of gratitude that swam in my eyes at the very thought of it. Rosalie risked getting suspended for 2 weeks because of me? It was just more proof that everyone really cared about me and wanted me home more than anything.

I basked in the fact that Tanya was probably sitting at home nursing a black and blue eye. I didn't like the way she attempted to control Edward. I didn't like her fucking attitude. And, obviously, I didn't like the fact that she previously slept with Edward.

I will have to do something nice for Rosalie as gesture of thanks. I spent the procedure trying to distract myself with new ideas.

Surprisingly, I handled the entire process rather well. Sure, my stomach felt like it was inside out, and my heart was racing, but it was easy to force myself to stay afloat. I feared that I would think I was drowning the whole time.

Edward was smiling the whole time we walked back to the car.

"What's got you so happy?" I asked.

"I'm just proud of you, Bella. You handled that so well. You're so strong, and only getting stronger."

"I'm not sure about that."

He stopped walking, stepping in front of me and grasping my face in his hands. My skin tingled at the very simple gesture. "Don't be so hard on yourself, love. You're doing great." He kissed the tip of my nose before helping me into the car.

We got home to find Rosalie and Emmett's cars in the driveway.

"BELLA!" Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper yelled at once when I walked in the house. They ran over and wrapped their arms around me in a group hug. I heard a chorus of "we missed you!" "Are you alright?" "Thank God you're back!" "We're so sorry." "We love you so much!"

I hastily wiped at the tears in my eyes when they let go of me. "I missed you guys, too."

"We're all going out for dinner!" Alice enthused with a smile on her face and in her voice.

I thought it was a great idea, considering how much I'd missed all of them.

We found ourselves at the local diner eating breakfast for dinner. I grew uncomfortable when practically everyone in the restaurant stared at me, but the group kept reminding me to just ignore it.

That was much easier said than done. How could I ignore the fact that all these random people knew the disgusting details of my twisted life?

Sometimes, small town life is good, but - in these instances - it is absolutely miserable. It only takes about 1 hour for word to spread to every resident of Forks.

I wouldn't be able to do it without Edward. My hero. He sat close to me the entire time, so close that our bodies were touching. He rubbed soothing circles onto my hand and randomly bent down to kiss my cheek or the top of my head. Throughout dinner, his soft lips would graze my ear and he would say something simple, such as "you're so beautiful," and "I love you so much."

These little gestures were nothing but a reminder that I could never, ever let him go. He means far too much. I hated to admit that I definitely need him to help me through this.

Would telling him everything that happened help the wounds? Or would the embarrassment and anger open them up and make them bleed? I know Edward would never judge me for what happened, but there's always that little voice in the back of my head that doesn't agree.

We spent dinner laughing at Emmett's antics and chatting about random topics. Nobody brought up anything unpleasant, and I could have kissed them all out of gratitude.

I followed Edward to his room when we returned home. I wanted to lie in his arms and attempt to forget all my pain, but it was still weighing on me with tremendous force.

Would telling him all about it lift this weight off my shoulders? Would it allow me to have some peace of mind? I wanted to find out.

"Edward?"

"Yes, baby?"

I turned in his arms and glanced up at his face. He looked down at me with so much love in his eyes that my decision was made right then and there.

"I want to talk about it. I want to tell you what happened."

A/N: sorry for the cliffy, but I felt it was right to end it there! Review!