It has been six months since we've had Camden and we are on our way to the doctor for his six month checkup with his pediatrician, Dr. Fuller, and Ana's checkup with Dr. Greene.
"I can't believe he's six months already. He's getting so big." Ana states, holding onto his hand while we sit in the back of the car with him. He smiles up at both of us and jabbers on, evidently telling us something important that we can't understand. Anastasia pretends to understand and her eyes widen and she gasps as he jabbers.
"Is that right? Then what happened?" She asks, urging him on.
He gives her a grin and his two bottom teeth stick out...the only two teeth he has in his whole mouth. There are two that are coming in on the top, but they have barely broken through, and it has been making him grumpy. I am relieved that he is in such a good mood the day of the doctor's appointment.
His little hand reaches out for mine and I give him my hand to hold. He immediately brings it to his mouth to chew on and his sharp little bottom teeth bite into my skin, but not enough to break through. I wince, but don't move. If my boy needs to use my hand as a teether, than I'm not about to pull away. He needs me. That's all that matters.
Anastasia takes one look at me and laughs. "They're sharp aren't they?"
"No wonder he's been so crabby."
She searches through his diaper bag and finds his teether that she pulled out of the freezer before we left. She shows it to him and he immediately releases my hand to reach for his teether. Although, I'm relieved I'm not being bitten anymore, I still can't help the small pout. I know it's childish.
Camden holds his teether with his right hand while he chews on it and he reaches for my hand again. This time, he's content with just holding onto my fingers.
"Aw, see. He needs his daddy." Ana smiles at me and reaches over to run her fingers through the back of my hair.
I smile down at our son, my heart full. Ana and Camden will always need me...and I need them. Before Ana, I hated to use the word love, knowing that love created a weak spot. I wanted to be strong, self-sufficient, and superior...but in all honesty, my fear of the word love made me weak. I still believe that love creates a sort of weakness, but it also makes you stronger. Ana and Camden are my weakness and my strength, and I know that as long as I have them, we can get through anything.
XxXxXx
Camden's appointment is first and I find myself anxious for it. He's getting his shots today and I hate to see him in pain. He's weighed and measured and everything looks great. He's in the upper 90th percentile in height and Anastasia is relieved that it seems like he's going to take after me in the height department, instead of her. I suppose if I was only 5'2, I'd feel the same way.
Dr. Fuller checks him over, listening to his chest and abdomen, checking his muscle tone, looking in his mouth, nose, and ears, and even checking his skin over for any lesions and other things. She checks his hips and joints, and has him sit up to see if he can do it on his own.
"Is he rolling over, alright?"
Ana nods. "Yes, tummy time has become difficult, because he's always rolling to his back. He hates laying on his stomach."
Dr. Fuller nods. "Some babies are like that. As long as he's moving around, it's alright. Just make sure he has plenty of time to explore his surroundings and move."
When she finishes his physical, she hands him to Ana.
"This next part is always the worst part, and some parents choose to leave the room for it. If you choose to do so, we understand. Some parents can't take watching their children get poked."
I scowl. "I'm not about to abandon my child when he needs me the most."
The doctor nods, looking unaffected by my sudden outburst. "I understand. Let me grab my nurse and we'll be done soon."
Anastasia has a seat on the exam table with Camden in her lap and I pull up my seat next to them.
"We'll do them in his legs, so I'm going to have Beverly, my nurse, hold his legs so that he doesn't kick."
Anastasia nods. "Okay." She sounds nervous.
"Hold him tight, now."
Ana gives me a look and I can already see tears filling her eyes. I know I have to be strong for the two of them and I need to keep myself calm. He needs these. They're for his own good. They'll be done soon enough.
The nurse sits on the doctors seat and holds onto Camden's legs while the doctor gets the syringes ready. I can feel the bile rising in my throat, but I swallow it back, reminding myself to keep my cool. Camden looks down at the nurse and lets out a little annoyed yell, before trying to kick. He doesn't like to feel trapped.
I understand, buddy.
"It's alright, Camden. My name is Beverly." She gives him a smile and his eyebrows knit together. I can just imagine him thinking, 'get the hell off of me, lady!'
"Alright, here we go."
Camden watches the doctor come closer and he gives her a smile. Poor thing has no idea what's coming.
The doctor rubs the inside of each of his thighs with a alcohol wipe and then grabs the first syringe.
Oh, fuck.
His eyes watch the needle as it travels towards his skin and as she pokes his little leg, his lips pull down into a frown and his lip quivers. Oh, my poor baby.
He tries to kick as she pulls the first needle out of his leg, but the nurse holds steady. I swear...if my baby has any bruises…
He gives a wail as the next needle hits his opposite leg, and he tries to move away from it, but Anastasia holds him in place. My heart aches knowing he's being hurt and he can't get away. Ana tries to whisper softly in his ear, but he's now sobbing, big tears running down his face.
By the time the doctor is finished, he's sobbing so hard that he's having a hard time catching his breath. His cries are making the hair on the back of my neck stand up and I know I need to soothe him.
As soon as the nurse lets go of his legs, Ana turns him around and cuddles him close, letting him cry into her neck. I press my chest up against his back and stroke his hair and kiss his cheek, hoping that if he knows he's surrounded by us, he'll start to feel safe again.
"It's all done, little man. Everything is okay. Daddy is sorry." I tell him, rubbing his back. Ana sways him back and forth and slowly, he quiets and relaxes against her.
"Is he asleep?" She asks.
I crane my neck and see that his eyes are closed, but tears are still clinging to his long eyelashes. I want to reach up and wipe them away, but I don't want to wake him.
"He's asleep."
"Thank God. I feel terrible, Christian."
I nod. "Me, too, babydoll." I press my lips to hers, trying to make both of us feel better. "It's over now."
XxXxXx
Anastasia's appointment is next, so we head to Dr. Greene's office, which is one level above the pediatrician's office.
They take her weight, a urine sample, and two tubes of blood before she even sees the doctor. Anastasia's periods have been so random since she's had Camden, I'm hoping that Dr. Greene can help.
"I hate these paper gowns!"
"I know, baby." I do, too.
I help Ana out of her clothes and into the paper gown. When she climbs back onto the table, I cover her with the sheet.
Now, we wait.
I check on Camden, who is laying in his carseat in the stroller, and he's still sleeping soundly.
"Poor baby boy. That appointment stressed him out."
I nod. "I'm glad he fell asleep so easily, though. I was worried he'd be fussy during your appointment."
There's a knock on the door and Ana gives the okay to come in.
Dr. Greene appears with a smile and greets both of us.
"Oh, is that little Camden? He's such a doll, Ana. How did he do with his shots?"
Ana frowns. "Not very well. Honestly, I don't think Christian and I handled it any better."
Dr. Greene laughs. "Yes, I understand. When my daughter had her shots, she didn't even blink an eye, but I sobbed like a baby."
Ana giggles. "I cried, Camden sobbed, and Christian sat there, mean mugging the nurse."
Dr. Greene laughs and heads to the sink to wash her hands. "If you don't mind, we're going to start with your pelvic exam and then, hopefully, the urine and blood tests will be back. I doubt there is anything to be worried about, but since it's been over a year since your last pap smear, we'll kill two birds with one stone and I'll send off a sample."
Anastasia lays back and scoots down the table and Dr. Greene gets to work. Curious, I stand behind Dr. Greene as she begins.
She looks over her shoulder at me. "Are you going to watch?"
I nod. "Yes."
She looks at Ana. "Are you alright with this?"
"Yes." Ana grins at her. She knows how I am. There's no point in fighting me on it.
XxXxXx
"Alright, Ana. All done. I'm going to step out and check on the status of those tests. You're free to get dressed. I'll be back shortly."
As we get her dressed, Camden begins to wake up and he's a little fussy.
"Om nom." He pops his lips.
"Your son is requesting lunch."
Anastasia laughs. "So demanding. Reminds me of someone else I know…" Her eyes wander over to me and I laugh.
"Like father, like son." I retort, unsnapping him from his seat.
She has a seat in one of the chairs and slips her arm out of her dress and opens her nursing bra so our baby can eat. I hand him to her and he takes no time snuggling into her and getting started on his lunch. His little hand rests on the top swell of her breast as he eats and she rocks him back and forth and smooths his hair. She manages to comfort him and feed him all at the same time.
I smile. I love watching the two of them together.
I have a seat in the chair next to hers and bend to kiss his head. "That's a good lunch, huh, little man."
Anastasia smiles. "Jealous." She mumbles.
I growl. "Immensely."
She giggles. "When we get home, we'll make you some pureed pears to eat. Doesn't that sound good?" She asks Cam.
My wife is Super Mommy. Instead of buying baby food, she makes everything homemade and organic. He has just started to eat a few solids and we've found that adding some of her breastmilk to the baby food helps it go down smoother.
There's another knock on the door and Dr. Greene enters.
"Oh, look who's up!" She smiles at the boy in Ana's arms.
"He got hungry."
"I see that." Having a seat on her stool, Dr. Greene wheels herself closer to us. "Ana...I want to do an ultrasound."
Immediately thinking the worst, my heart stops beating for a few seconds.
"Wha-why?" Ana's scared.
"Well...your urine came back and it seems that your pregnant."
We both exhale sharply.
"Pregnant?" Anastasia's worried frown quickly turns into a smile.
"We're pregnant?" I ask, relieved. I'm so glad it's not something more serious. We're going to have another baby. I beam at my wife. This is amazing.
"Oh, Ana…" I lean over and press my lips to hers. When we pull away, I press my forehead against hers. "Another baby." I grin.
She smiles. "I did say I wanted them close together."
"Congratulations, Mommy." I tell her, pressing my lips to hers once more.
"You, too, Daddy." She looks down at Camden and laughs. "Cam, you're going to be a big brother!"
He looks out of the corner of his eye to look up at her, but is unimpressed, so he closes his eyes and goes back to eating.
"Congratulations, you two. Since your periods have been so light and sparse since having him, I want to do an ultrasound to see how far along you are. I'm going to let him finish eating and then I'll be back."
She leaves us and Ana looks at me. "I can't believe we're pregnant again so fast. I thought that breast feeding was supposed to help keep that from happening."
I snort. "Evidently, it works as well as the pull out method."
Ana rolls her eyes and hands Cam to me so that I can burp him. He fusses a little, but once he realizes I'm only holding him to burp him, he calms down and burps easily for me. Once he burps, he looks over at Ana and pops his lips again.
"Hold on, hold on." She hurries to redress her left side and undress her right side so he can continue to feed. "Alright, I'm ready."
Suddenly, a realization hits me. "Is it safe for you to breastfeed while pregnant?"
She stops swaying him and frowns. "I don't know. We'll have to ask Dr. Greene. She didn't seem too worried about it earlier. I hope it's alright. I'm not ready to wean him, yet."
It doesn't take Cam long to fill up and fall asleep and I take him from her once more to burp him. I hate that I have to wake him, but I know from experience that if we don't burp him, things get messy. He rests his cheek against my shoulder as I pat his back and after he burps, he turns his head toward my neck and snuggles his nose into it. My heart warms. I love how affectionate he is.
XxXxXx
"Alright, Ana, let's have a look at this baby."
The room is dark and Anastasia is laying on the table. Cam is asleep in my arms as I sit next to her and I hold her hand with my free one.
"I can't believe we're already back here. Our first ultrasound for our second baby."
"Oh…" Dr. Greene states, sounding surprised. "Actually, it's your first ultrasound for your second and third babies."
What. The. Fuck.
"Two? Twins?" I spurt out.
Dr. Greene smiles and nods. "Identical twins. Look…" She points to the screen and she shows us the separate babies. "It looks like you're about seven weeks along, Ana."
"Oh, wow." Ana is as shocked as I am. "Three children under two." She looks up at me, looking worried. "We can do this right?"
I give her an encouraging smile. "Of course we can. You're an incredible mother. We'll take each day as it comes." As shocked as I am, I have no doubt that we can handle this. I'm going to have to double up on our CPO's after these two are born, but it'll be worth it.
I look down at our sleeping boy in my arms and my heart swells at the thought of having two more cuddly babies. How can you be upset with that?
When Dr. Greene finishes with the ultrasound, Ana sits up and reaches for Cam.
"I need my baby." As I hand him over, he grunts a little in his sleep, but he doesn't bother to open his eyes. She holds him close to her and kisses his forehead, then his nose, then his little pouted lips. "We are so blessed, Christian. Do you realize?"
I smile. "Yes, angel." I thank God everyday for everything we have.
Dr. Greene assures us that breastfeeding while pregnant is fine, as long as Anastasia continues to consume a lot of nutrient rich foods each day. Her calorie intake needs to be high to continue to create milk and feed our unborn children.
XxXxXx
Anastasia has just finished with Camden's night feeding and I take him from her so she can take a long hot shower without worry. I sit in the rocker with him, and he stares up at me, one of his hands in his mouth.
I pick up 'Goodnight Moon', which is something I've read so many times, that I can recite it by heart, but I want him to be able to look at the pictures.
As I begin to read to him, he smiles up at me. I savor this time Cam and I have together. He is our first baby and now I understand why my parents say we'll always be their babies. No matter how big he gets or how many birthdays he has, he'll always be my little man.
"...And there were three little bears sitting on chairs, and two little kittens, and a pair of mittens, and a little toy house, and a young mouse, and a comb and a brush and a bowl full of mush... And a quiet old lady who was whispering 'huussshhh'." I put my finger to my lips and draw out the word, making him giggle. It's his favorite part of the story.
As I continue, I rock him, and his eyes continue to get heavier and heavier with each line.
"...Goodnight stars, goodnight air, goodnight noises everywhere." I whisper the last few lines and Camden finally gives in to his drowsiness and his eyes close. I slip my index finger into his little fist and he holds it tightly as we continue to sway.
I am ecstatic to be having more children, but there is a part of me that is going to miss this time with just the three of us. I make a vow to myself to always make one-on-one time with Camden, no matter how many children we have. Being the oldest child will come with enough responsibility, and I refuse to let him feel neglected compared to the others.
His little fist relaxes and releases my finger and his breathing evens out. I duck down and kiss his forehead and then his nose. He is the best decision I have ever made. I'm not in any hurry for him to grow up, but I am looking forward to watching him grow into the man he is meant to be. All I wish is for him is to be a good man and to be happy. To have the drive to make his life better and not settle for anything.
Once I am sure he's asleep, I climb out of the chair and place him in his crib.
"I love you, little man. Daddy will always love you and always protect you...even if it's from monsters under the bed." I bend down and kiss his forehead one last time. I check his monitor twice, making sure it's on, and then turn out his light and crack the door.
*Ana's POV*
It feels so good to get a hot shower after this long, stressful day. I have the best husband in the world. Not only does he work his butt off, but he refuses to let me take all the responsibility with Camden. Although I wouldn't mind being with Camden constantly, I know how important it is for him to spend time with his daddy. Their bonding is crucial for Camden to grow into a well rounded adult and Christian knows this.
Having twins is a scary thought, but I know that having a husband as supportive and hands on as mine is, will make everything alright. Christian and I can get through anything together.
I hear the bathroom door creak open and through the shower door, I can see my gorgeous husband slip in the door. He's holding the baby monitor and places it on the counter before shedding his clothes. I stand under the spray, ogling my sexy husband as he undresses and I can feel my stomach clench deliciously. I already want him. My body reacts so easily to him. I wonder if it'll always be that way.
He gives me a sexy little crooked grin and saunters over to me, opening the shower door. I can feel my cheeks heat up even more and this time, I can't blame the humidity of the shower.
"God, you're beautiful." His hands find their way along my sides, caressing as they go, and I shiver even with the warmth. They wander up to my shoulders and to my face, where they cup my cheeks.
"Don't bite that lip." He growls, pulling my face toward his for a searing kiss. He's dominating my mouth and I can feel my legs start to shake. I cling to his shoulders and he presses me up against the shower wall.
He releases my face and my lips and I whimper at the loss. Before I can even pout, his lips continue down my sternum, trailing kisses between my breasts and, as he continues lower, he kneels.
He nuzzles his nose into my abdomen and presses kisses in a circle around my navel. Both palms spread out over my flat stomach and he looks up at me.
"Thank you, Ana."
"Oh, Christian…" Tears sting my eyes and I get a little choked up. I slide both hands into his hair and massage his scalp.
"Let me show you."
I smile and give him a nod.
He nuzzles my stomach again and continues south, into my hair line. His tongue laps at my clit and the back of my head hits the wall as I moan out. He hooks one leg over his shoulder forcing me to brace myself on one leg. I grab onto the shelf with my left hand while the right tries to pull him closer to my center.
He chuckles into my center and it sends a delicious vibration down my slit.
"My impatient girl."
I whimper. "Christian...please." He should be used to my impatience by now.
He gives me a salacious grin and pulls my hips towards his mouth again, hitting the target I was begging for.
A long moan escapes my lips. "Oh, Christian….Don't stop. So good." I begin to pant as I feel my orgasm building.
My heel digs into his back as I get closer and as I explode, my toes curl and I lose my balance. Christian catches me, keeping me pinned to the wall, until my body relaxes and I slide down the wall of shower.
He pulls me into his lap and I snuggle into his naked, wet body while I recuperate. He nuzzles into my hair and he kisses my ear, my neck, my nose, my mouth.
"You are so precious to me, Ana."
I give him a smile. "You mean everything to me, Christian. I don't know what I would do without you."
"Oh, Ana." He nuzzles my nose with his. "I need to make love to you."
I nod. "I'm yours."
XxXxXx
Christian is wrapped around me, his head on my chest and his arms securing me in my place. We spent almost an hour connected in bed, and I'm exhausted.
I better get used to that.
It's amazing how much my life has changed in just a couple years and it isn't going to stop anytime soon. Our family is growing quickly and next year, I'll be a mother of three. Oh, wow. With Christian, I know I can handle anything. I am so thankful that I'm able to stay at home and give my children 100% of me. I know other families don't have that luxury...my parents included. Although they worked hard to give me everything I needed, I know my relationship with my mother would be much better if we had the time to bond more when I was young.
I know being a stay-at-home mother is going to be a hard, 24/7 job, but it will also be the most rewarding. I'll have to learn to divide my time equally between each child while still making my marriage one of my top priorities. Just as I don't want my children to feel unimportant, I don't want Christian to feel like he's put on the backburner either. I know it's going to be difficult at first, but I am hoping that with time, it'll become easier. My family needs me and I'm going to do the best I can for them.
The monitor goes off and we hear Camden crying from his crib. Christian groans and climbs off of me.
"I'll get him." He mumbles, still half-asleep.
"It won't be like this forever." I tell him.
He gives me a sleepy smile. "Then we better savor it, now."
It's an odd thing to say, but he's right. I don't like the lack of sleep, but I know I'm going to miss this when he grows. I'm going to miss him needing Christian and me for everything. One day, he'll be self-sufficient and independent and, although I'll never admit it outloud, I'll hate it. I know he'll always love us, but he won't always need us.
How bittersweet.
A/N: So, I've decided to do one last chapter. It'll be an epilogue and then this story trilogy will finally be finished. *wipes forehead*