Author's note: so that was 'Fake" chapter 12 (as one of my reviewers put it). I am amazed that so many of you thought is was good. Thanks. I still disagree but...hey i appreciate how much you like my work. thank you thankyou thank you so much. i think i got more reviews on that chapter than any . wow

So ..i cant believe i'm updating already.. but you give me no choice after all those wonderful comments. the reason i;m so reluctant to update now is because this is the latest one i've written and once i let this out ... i will be in a rush to write more. u understand? i like to be ahead of my releases to i can alter it based in your expectations and because i like to take my time and think it through.

Any way. this chapter is one of my favourites. it is so funny...well at least i think so. remember i decided to forget the whole jealousy deal. SO JAPER IS NOT JEALOUS NOW...forget what you have read in the previous chapter. For better effect go back to the chapter called " chess and training" read it over then skip to this one. Hope you like this direction as much as you liked the last one. nervous sigh

Enjoy!!

Chapter 12

Attack of the Females

Recently, to atone for his chess superiority, Edward had taken to teaching Alice to play the piano and I loved to watch. She was so adorable when she was frustrated; she was having trouble stretching her fingers across the keys to play the chords. Her hands were so small. When I'd stifle a laugh at her annoyance she would turn to watch me leaning on the door frame, stick her tongue out and turn back to do her scales.

She had grown quite attached to Edward. They shared some sort of psychic kinship. I was beginning to understand him better as well. He felt odd. When his family would pair up, he somehow, disappeared. He did not hate us for having partners, he was happy for us; he just didn't want to stick around to watch. With Alice, he felt comfortable, at ease – maybe because she understood and shared his omniscience.

He treated her like the little sister he never had. He fed her encouraging words when she made mistakes on the piano, gave her bracelets and shiny things and patted her head patronizingly. He loved her. Who couldn't love Alice?

Rosalie had taken Alice shopping in town. They came back arms full of fancy-looking bags. They bought themselves hats and scarves, gloves and shoes, dresses upon dresses. Our room looked like a clothing store. But, they hadn't just shopped for themselves, oh no, they were far too considerate and generous to do that.

"Emmett," Rosalie said seriously, "If you think that you'll be getting any tonight or any other night for that matter, you will make sure I have my fun first," Rosalie threatened suggestively.

Alice was standing on a stool next to me, tying my tie. "Hold out your arms," she instructed as she pulled and twisted the fabric here and there. I sighed. Rosalie was trying to get Emmett to try on something she bought for him. Emmett walked into the room wearing a defeated expression and everyone burst in to laughter.

I was suddenly thankful for the layers that covered me, Emmett was not so lucky. His entire body was bare except for a minuscule triangle of navy blue cloth covering his essentials. He was mortified but endured it good-naturedly- or maybe it was because of Rosalie's threat.

"Aww Rose, this is humiliation to last a lifetime," he complained as he reached for a towel to censor his appearance.

Rosalie's face was arranged in mock horror. "What are you talking about? These are what the Olympic swimmers are wearing now, they are called speedos." She struggled to keep the grin off her face and I struggled not to pay any attention to her fiery emotions.

Alice was clutching my collar still fighting a fit a giggles. Edward was laughing uncontrollably on the couch, the newspaper that he was reading fell open onto the floor.

"Edward, don't you laugh, you are up next," warned Alice. That sobered him. He looked directly at her, eyes wide, obviously seeing what she and Rose had planned for him. He stood up swiftly and made for the door but Alice was one step ahead of him. She sprung from the stool and onto his back clinging onto him for dear life.

"Help me Rose!" she shouted. They had Edward pinned to the floor in a second. I was sure he had let them win; he was strong and could read their minds. He looked from Emmett to me pleadingly.

"Sorry man, but I can't side against Rose. You think I'd be wearing this plastic wrap if she didn't have the bargaining chips?" and he drew her body shape in the air. Edward looked at me.

Alice narrowed her eyes at me and I raised my arms in surrender. "Guess it's your turn to play dress up." Ha! He wouldn't be the only one not forced to be a doll.

"I'm quite fine shopping for myself you know," he said

"Oh come on Edward, be fun, please," Alice begged. She concentrated her most pleading face at him. She looked as though she was about to burst into tears. Her face rattled my insides even though I could feel the contradiction in her aura.

"Oh no Alice, that works only on Jasper," Edward laughed. Damn. He was lucky; he still had his free will. He looked at me and asked, "Do I really?" and he gestured to Alice sitting on his back and Rosalie lying across his legs.

"Rosalie, next time Emmett is planning a prank, I won't tell you. In fact, I will help him plan a really good one." He warned. Rosalie backed off at once. "You're so boring Edward," she muttered.

He made to raise himself off the ground and Alice resorted to a choke-hold. "Come on Edward, for me, please. Please, please, please…please Edward." She emphasized but she was already defeated. "Let me out of this Alice, and I will teach you to play Chopsticks." Alice huffed. "Fine," and she turned to Rosalie, "Nothing we do will work."

I sighed as Alice resumed her poking and prodding at me, "This shirt looks great on you Jasper," she said and she looked at my face. "Aren't you having fun?" she asked innocently. Having fun? Trying on clothes I would probably never wear? No. Having her button me up and stroke my collar? Okay fine, I was having fun.

"I'm just glad you didn't get me a speedo," I answered honestly.

Her expression changed. "Who said I didn't?"

What? She got me one of those too? Damn. Time to escape. Edward, who had the newspaper on his lap again, stifled a laugh.

Alice laughed out loud and secured her arms around my neck. She must have seen me diving through the window or canonballing off the balcony or something. "I'm just joking Jasper," but she was genuinely disappointed. I noticed her give Edward a meaningful glance and his mouth pulled up on one corner and he nodded imperceptibly.

Alice spinned me around and was satisfied. "There she said, you look gorgeous," and she kissed the tip of her index and middle fingers and softly pressed them to my lips. I held onto her little hand and stroked the lines on her palm. She watched me intently and then put her other hand on my cheek and whispered so softly, so seductively. "Are you sure you don't want a speedo?"

I laughed. "Very sure my love,"

She looked over to Edward and was intrigued by what he was reading. "Parker Brothers are going up," she said to him. I did not understand what she meant. I glanced into the paper and saw the stock value listing for various companies. The stock market was just rising after the Great Depression. Overnight, some company values would skyrocket, but there was no way to predict which ones. Well, no way until now.

"That's very convenient." Edward sounded distant, "I have some stock there already but I think I'll go buy some more." He was gone already. Maybe to buy stock or maybe to escape another attack.

author's note: please please review....the button is right there and it doesnt take long. plz plz plz...i need to hear what you think...

love, taz