A/N: And, I'm back. Let's see what these kids are up to.
"What? What? Fuck."
No one had ever accused Edward of being eloquent at ass-thirty in the morning, particularly not when he'd been dragged awake by the persistent chime of his cell phone. He grabbed at it. Usually, hitting it was enough to get the alarm to turn off, but then, that brrrrraaaap, braaaap, brraaaap wasn't his alarm.
Birdsong. That was his alarm. This wasn't that.
Blinking, Edward dragged his phone off the nightstand into bed with him. Shivering in the early morning chill, he pulled his comforter over his head and stared at the thing, trying to figure out why it was going haywire. He looked first at the time, and groaned when he realized he still had ten minutes before his alarm was set to go off. There wasn't anything more heartbreaking than that.
His phone chimed again, and this time he caught the flash of a message.
Mike Newton has commented on a status you're tagged in.
Who the hell was Mike Newton?
He shook his head hard when he realized the Facebook indicator had a tiny 47 by it. He had 47 new messages on Facebook. And five text messages.
When the next status alert came up, he clicked on it and was taken to this annoyingly popular message he'd been tagged on. Reading the words, he balked and brought the phone up close to his face as though the screen were merely blurry. Nope. The message there was clear as day.
Bella Swan is in a relationship with Edward Cullen.
"What the actual hell?"
After a busy couple of days at work, Edward had finally gotten around to accepting Bella's Facebook friend request the night before. After that, he'd promptly fallen asleep. Apparently, the woman had gone slightly psychotic. And he'd really liked her too. She'd been so fun. She'd made what should have been a horrible day a relatively happy one.
Damn. He'd really liked her.
With a groan, he hauled himself upright, grabbing his laptop from where it lay beside him and flicking it awake. He navigated to Facebook and started reading.
Almost instantly, his stomach twisted. Something was wrong. Very wrong. More wrong than a woman he'd met five minutes ago announcing to the world they were in a relationship.
As could be expected, a lot of the responses from her friends were along the lines of, "Wtf?! What happened to Jasper?!" Meanwhile, his friends' reactions could be summed up with, "Uh…grats?"
What disturbed him most was Bella's responses. All of them had some variation of, "Yep. It's true. I'm a huge slut!" To his friends, her replies were more introductory. "Nice to meet you. I'm Bella, and I'm a bitch. But that's okay. Edward is an asshole, so we deserve each other."
As he tried to pull of a thread of what appeared to be a few of Bella's friends commenting that this must be some kind of joke or mistake, the whole post gave him an error. It took him a minute to realize the post had been deleted. Bella's relationship status was then updated from in a relationship to single.
"Well, that was my shortest relationship," Edward muttered to himself, scrubbing a hand over his face. He clicked on messenger and sent Bella a quick and eloquent message.
Edward: Uh?
Bella: God, I'm sorry. Hold on.
His alarm went off, distracting Edward for a few seconds, and when he looked back, he found he'd been tagged in yet another Facebook status.
Bella Swan: So, about that status. Long story short? Yes, Jasper and I have broken up. No, there was no cheating involved, and I'm not in another relationship. My best guess for all this is that I had my Facebook login saved on Jasper's computer. Edward Cullen is a friend. Sorry for all this, Edward.
Edward reread the status a few times. Something wasn't adding up. He brought up messenger again and saw the tiny message at the bottom indicating Bella was typing.
Bella: I just got woken up by my phone going berserk, so I'm still trying to catch up.
The indicator at the bottom said Bella wasn't done, but by then, Edward was distracted by the messages coming in on the status.
Peter Damon: You're a fucked up whore and a liar, Bella. How messed up do you have to be to get engaged the same day you call it off?
Mike Newton: Whoa.
Jessica Stanley: Wtf is going on right now?!
Bella Swan: Peter, you don't know what you're talking about. I'm not engaged.
Peter Damon: You're such a fucking liar. Jasper saw him propose to you.
Angela Weber: Just because someone proposed doesn't mean she said yes.
Peter Damon: She said yes. He saw it. How long has this been going on behind Jasper's back, slut?
"Oh, holy hell," Edward muttered under his breath. Anger churned in his gut. He got that this guy was mad and defending his friend, but the hate he was spewing was vile and uncalled for. If he could manage not to call Kate names like that, then this guy could stand to keep a civil tongue.
Brow furrowed, he began typing a pointed and scathing response, distracted every once in awhile as the fight raged on without him. He almost didn't hear the door to his apartment open.
"Little brother, what are you doing still in bed? We're going to be late."
Edward didn't turn to greet his sister, intent on what he was doing. "Hold on, Alice."
Alice walked over, standing over him with her arms crossed. "Edward Cullen, you—"
"Hold on."
"What? Are you finally typing up a nasty e-mail to Kate, the queen of Asshole Island?"
He scoffed. "No. I'm explaining to this asshole that Bella isn't a slut, and she definitely didn't cheat on his friend. Well, at least not with me."
There was silence from his sister for two whole beats, which was unusual. "Wait. What?" she asked finally.
"Someone must have caught the whole proposal thing on video," he muttered to himself. "I thought it would be too dark."
"Edward." Alice dropped onto the side of the bed and gave his shoulders a shake. She tilted her head, her wide eyes on him. "You proposed to someone? Who the hell is Bella?"
"I didn't propose," Edward said, exasperated. "That's the point. This is all messed up, and this guy is all over Facebook, disparaging Bella to her friends and mine, for that matter." He put his fingers back to the keyboard and started typing again.
"Whoa. This is Facebook drama?" Alice grabbed his wrists and held him firm.
"Alice, what the hell. I'm almost done. Just hold on."
If anything, Alice tightened her grip. "Not a chance, little brother." She clucked her tongue. "Have you learned nothing from me? Getting involved in Facebook drama never ends well."
"I'm not getting involved. I am involved. I was dragged into this."
"What have you told me before? There's nothing classy about having a fight on Facebook for everyone and their mother—and your mother, come to think of it—to see. Stay out of it. Whatever it is, you can resolve it privately."
Edward grimaced, but he grunted. "Fine. Just let me say one thing."
"Edward—"
"It's not drama. It's just the right thing to do. Hold on."
He deleted the unnecessary diatribe and cut straight the point.
Edward Cullen: I don't know what your damage is, but no human being deserves to be talked to that way. There's no reason to degrade someone. You're an adult. If you communicated rather than spewing vile nonsense, you might figure out you've got your foot so far in your mouth you're about to choke.
"I'm blocking him. I swear," Edward said to Alice. "That way, I won't be tempted to respond."
"And that's it," she warned.
"Just let me send a quick message to Bella."
"Uh huh. Fine. I'll put the coffee on. You get dressed, and then you're going to tell me who the hell this Bella person is and why you've got Facebook drama coming out of your ears."
Edward shook his head, and sent a quick message to Bella.
Edward: I don't want to make it worse, so I'm bowing out of the conversation. You don't deserve to be treated that way, regardless. Please let me know what the hell happened when you figure it out?
Bella: Yeah. I'm on the phone with Jasper now. He didn't realize what Peter had done until people started messaging him. Sorry again. Thank you.
Tempted though he was to see how the discussion was progressing, Edward managed to get out of bed. He took a quick shower, got dressed, and ignored the beeps from his phone. It took all of his considerable willpower, but he managed to look only at Bella's message on messenger as he picked up his phone and headed for the kitchen.
Bella: Okay, I was right. I did leave my Facebook login on Jasper's laptop. Peter is Jasper's BFF. Has been since they were kids in grade school. Apparently, Peter went over to Jasper's place last night, woke up this morning, found his laptop and decided it was on him to go all avenger on me.
Edward: What is it he thinks he's avenging? What did Jasper tell him?
"Jesus, kid, drink some coffee. It's way too early for this kind of thing." Alice was perched on a barstool, coffee cup in one hand and phone in the other.
"Oh, so, you get to read all the drama?"
She flashed a grin. "And, I sent Bella a friend request."
Edward groaned. "Alice."
"Start talking, bro. What the hell is going on?"
Since Bella hadn't yet responded to him, Edward told a short version of the story to Alice. Almost as soon as he was done, a message came in from Bella.
Bella: Sorry. Just got off the phone. Jasper followed me into the park that day. He wanted to make sure I was okay.
Edward: What a prince.
Bella: I know. But that part isn't as creepy as it sounds. Seems he saw us getting off the ride and heading off to breakfast together. Okay, I get that. Anyway. He swears up and down that he didn't follow us around the park all day, but he did catch a glimpse of us at World of Color.
"Ah, hell," Edward muttered.
"What's the update?" Alice asked, sipping her coffee and eyeing him over the rim. She was way too amused by all this.
"I guess Jasper caught the supposed proposal in real life."
"Ahh." Alice tilted her head, considering. "Normally I'd say guy breaks up with a gal, he doesn't get to care what the hell she does afterward. But a proposal nine hours later is a little bit jarring."
Edward made a face. "Whose side are you on?"
She arched her eyebrows. "No one's. I don't have a horse in this game. I'm just saying, it's kind of understandable that this guy vented to his bestie that his girl moved all the way on, as far as he knew, in .2 milliseconds."
"Then he, of all people, should have known her better than that. I've known her for five seconds, and I know her better than that."
She chuckled, giving him that look that always meant trouble. "My, my, my. So defensive."
"Alice."
"And you did jump in to defend her honor in front of her friends and yours."
"Alice."
She sipped her coffee again with an air of innocence. "What? These are just facts I'm stating out loud."
He pointed a finger in his sister's face. "I know that look."
"Believe me, I'm not saying you should date her. Like you need someone with that much drama in their life."
Edward frowned. "This is clearly not her fault. She didn't start this. Not even the break up."
Alice cackled at him, the expression on her face gleeful. "I'm just saying. Rebound sex isn't a bad thing."
Though a bolt of lightning went down his spine at that thought, he rolled his eyes. "Are you ready to go?"
"Sure." Alice slid off her stool, but she stopped, giving him a thoughtful look. "You should invite her to the beach today."
"Will you stop?"
"I'm not talking about sex on the beach." She grinned. "Although, I'm not saying anything against it." Again, her expression gentled. "But seriously, Edward. The 'has gone from in a relationship to single' status sucks under any circumstance. This woman woke up being called every name in the book by someone she probably knows pretty well, and she'll be explaining to her friends and yours what's going on all morning. She had to talk to her ex. Correction, she probably had to yell at her ex. You know how that conversation went. She's not having a good day."
Edward frowned and ran a hand through his hair. He knew that. He'd been thinking about it nonstop since he rolled out of bed. He just didn't know what to do about it. "Invite her to the beach?"
"I know it's against the rules, but I'll make sure everyone looks the other way. Let her hang out with you in the lifeguard tower. It should be an easy day today." She shrugged. "Listening to the waves might help, and you know most cells don't get reception right where you're stationed."
Edward hesitated a beat. "You don't think that's weird? We just met."
"You said you're friends, right?"
"Yeah."
"Friends going through bad breakups at the same time. It's totally innocent."
It made sense. He turned the thought over for another few minutes as they got in the car and Alice started driving. Then, he tapped out a message.
Edward: Hey. Feel free to say no, obviously, but what do you say to a day in Coronado at the beach?
A/N: SoooooooOOooooOOOOoooo. Who wants to go to the beach?