A/N: Thank you to my readers for the encouragement – in all honesty I had a mini (okay not so mini) meltdown b/c I have been slow to get back into the swing of things at work and I felt completely overwhelmed. I finally swallowed my pride and admitted I needed help and I wouldn't call it smooth sailing but there are considerably less wrinkles.

Thank you for your kind words of support. (insert smiley face)

Also, re: Elena – Elena is dead at this point in the story – she died of suffocation in chapter seventeen – her death will be explained and her killer revealed soon.

Apologies to susancollins522 and ramanreinee I really tried to get this done two days ago, but my editing and dissatisfaction with this chapter got in the way, so I did a semi rewrite.

Chapter 20

ElliotPov

"Babe, I think EJ is sick." He has been hiccupping for a while now.

"He has the hiccups El…he is just fine, please stop worrying."

I cannot for the life of me understand how or why Kate is so calm, what happened to that new mom shit I read about – why isn't she climbing the walls like I am. What the entire fuck!?

"We should call my mom and …"

"Elliot Grey we will do no such thing…please stop calling your mom every time he throws up or frowns – you would build a plastic bubble for him if I let you get away with it I'm sure." She says picking up EJ and cooing landing kisses all over his face. I need to remind myself to wipe his face when she's done, I heard her sneeze earlier, I think.

"Fine, but if he develops some kind of disorder I am holding you responsible."

"I understand Daddy. Ana and your brother are going to be here any minute, why don't you go and change out of your sweats."

She's not taking any of this seriously. Fine, I'll Google his symptoms while I'm upstairs changing.

"You sure you got him?"

"I think I can handle the few minutes it will take for you to change babe."

###

"Man! He has grown and changed so much in just a few weeks, El, he is a beautiful boy." When did Christian become all love and light. I wonder when he last had that cashmere sweater cleaned, EJ could be allergic for all we know – it looks pretty itchy.

"Thanks man." I say reaching for my son, but he rebuffs me and hands him off to Ana. Who the fuck wears angora anymore! Why are you two even here again?

"Why don't we grab a couple of Killians Red and you and I can check out the game while Penny finishes up dinner."

I look over at Ana and Kate fussing over EJ and I decide against my better judgement to follow Christian to the den. Where is that baby monitor?

"How's it going El?" Christian asks eyeing me with an undetectable emotion.

"Great! Life is great. I have to say having a kid changes everything, I wish I could be with him all day every day."

"El? You know I am not one to beat around the bush, so I am going to cut straight to the chase here. You're driving your wife insane, and mom has considered blocking your number because you have become so…intense." That sure is rich coming from Sir Spank a Ho over here.

"You could not possibly understand…"

"I understand that you feel enormously protective, that you are overwhelmed by the sense of love and fierce devotion you have for your son. I know you want to wrap him up and protect him from anything and everything that could bring him an ounce of harm or a second of grief. I also know you deserve to be content with manageable worry where he and Kate are concerned."

"Did Kate call you?"

His smirk and subsequent non-answer tells me she did. She ratted me out.

"She is worried about you, and so is Mom. Ya know? There is such a thing as too much WebMD." Says the guy who deep inside wants to stow away in Ana's purse every time she leaves his sight. Dick.

"What exactly did she say?"

"Just that she wants you to enjoy being a dad and not worry yourself sick that something bad is going to happen every minute of every day."

"Christian he is only six weeks old, what do you expect? I took your advice and hired Penny to help out around here – that's all the flexibility I can muster, okay?" Okay he's starting to wear out his welcome, it's always the ones without kids with all the well-meaning advice.

"I expect for you to love your son and trust that you are a great dad and Kate is a great mom, and that EJ is healthy and just perfect. And as far as Penny goes you had no choice after Kate put her foot down." He has the nerve to smirk. I could slap him silly right now, deep down I know he's trying to help – but my fear and sadness consumes me.

"I just need to know he's okay." I say just barely above a whisper. I don't even recognize my own voice.

"Yes but Kate says you are up all through the night, checking on him – she thinks if you could you'd breast feed him yourself – you need to show your wife you believe in her and stop nitpicking everything she does."

"I don't…"

"Did you really wipe Kate's kisses off of her own infant son's face?" And…cue the I'm talking to a crazy person head tilt.

When he says it like that it does sound a bit crazy.

"In my defense she had just been hugging and kissing Cameron and you know those fucking schools are like petri dishes – and in case you forgot hotshot, the only reason you met Ana in the first place was because Cam had the plague."

We both burst out laughing.

"Oh thank god, you're still in there." He finally breathes out.

"I can tell Mom you don't require sedation."

"Sedation?!"

"Yes nimrod, sedation. You want to tell me what's really bothering you? I thought neurosis was my thing."

"Nothing is bothering me – when you and Ana decide to have kids you will understand what it feels like to…"

"What, what feels like El?"

"Stop interrupting me!" I snap.

I have so infrequently lost my temper with my brother that he seems taken aback and perhaps a little hurt by my outburst. For the most part, in spite of my man whoring ways, I have always been the one in this sibling relationship with the calm and even disposition. The birth of my son however has me consumed with fear for his well-being, for the first time in my life I feel completely helpless. More than anything ever has before – his every breath concerns me, I mean my love for Kate is earth shattering but this…this is other worldly.

"Sorry El."

"Christian, I have no way of knowing what fucked up genes I could have passed onto my child – no way of knowing if he suffers from some debilitating family trait that could ruin his life. Kate can trace her family lineage back to the fucking Mayflower and I have nothing I can give her, nothing. I…I…"

Before I know it Christian's hands are on my shoulders as he eyes me with a visible, earnest compassion I did not know him capable of emotionally committing to, my baby brother is comforting me. Having no clue where I come from has never been an issue for me, or so I thought. I asked questions about my birth and birth parents when I was old enough to comprehend the concept of adoption and discovered that they had insisted upon a closed no contact adoption which meant that they had no interest not only in not meeting my adoptive parents, but also that they chose never to be contacted by me in the future. I will likely never know if I have biological siblings or if there were things concerning my health or that of my parents that I should be aware of, or what was so wrong with me that they did not want to know me, ever.

"El? EJ is perfect. There is nothing wrong with him – and there is nothing wrong with you. You are the best big brother in the world and you will be the best father. Kate and EJ love you and so do I, so does Mom, Dad, Mia and Ana." He says landing a kiss to the top of my head. Jerk hijacked my thing, but that's fine – just this one time.

I nod my head as I dismissively wipe away the few tears that manage to escape despite my pseudo stoic reserve.

"I think you suffer from the same set of insecurities every adopted kid does – my manifestation of course was legendary…" He says with a smirk.

"Yours was bound to rear its ugly head eventually. If I didn't know better I would think this is just an excuse to get me to tell you what a machine you are physically…and fine I'll say it, you're quite sexy as well." He adds deadpan.

Before I could help myself I burst out laughing. When did Christian become so enlightened and evolved and funny!? I guess we both grew up when neither of us was paying attention.

###

"So...how did Christian finally get through to you?" Kate asks as I salivate watching her moisturize her sexy legs after her shower.

"What gives you the impression that he 'got through' to me?"

"Well, for one thing, the major thing EJ is in his room for the first time since shortly after we brought him home. You have been molesting me since before he and Ana left and you did not do the Elliot freak out when anyone other than you touched him. You just seem lighter babe."

I walk over and take Kate's hand leading her to our bed.

"I'm sorry."

"There's no need for that – you can drive me up the wall with your love for our son anytime you want."

"Really?"

"Nope. But that sounded all good wife and supportive and shit, right?"

I make love to my wife for hours until we're both spent – I don't know why those people had no desire to meet me, or why it even affected me the way it did at this moment in time. I look at EJ and cannot for the life of me fathom not holding him close to be for as long as he will allow it – the rejection stings more than I thought I guess. What I do know is that I am fortunate to have the best parents and siblings in the world and that I am no accident in their lives, they are people who love me on purpose with no obligation to do so and they along with my wife and son own my heart. I am the luckiest, most healthy man alive.

RayPOV

"What the fuck do you want?"

"I wanted to speak to you man to man. You will likely be locked away for a very long time Mr. Jackson and I want to make sure that you and I come to some understanding going forward."

"Understanding? Yeah right." He scoffs.

"Yes, understanding. I want an assurance that you will leave my family alone. You failed Mr. Jackson."

"I did not fail." He says in barely a hushed declaration, shaking his head in disbelief.

"You wanted to ruin my family and to…to own my daughter…

My wife has forgiven me and has adopted Jaiden, Ray Junior is thriving in college and Anastasia…"

"Whatever…" me mumbles unable to hold my gaze at the mere mention of her name. This is incredibly disturbing.

"Anastasia, she's so very happy in love with Christian – Elite is thriving and they are planning a family."

"So that's why you came here – to rub it in? 'Cause I don't give a fuck about your family…"

"We both know that's not true. We have kept an eye on you – and while you appear to have given up the idea of hiring a hit man, you are still obsessing over my daughter…"

He scoffs at the notion so I pull the opened letters from my inside pocket and toss them on the metal table that separates us.

"Then why are you harassing your former business partner with these out of control missives about hurting my daughter?"

His eyes are wild, feral even – in an instant he seems lost and almost childlike – but unfortunately for Hyden the empathy I would have had for someone as broken as him is completely absent. He is not a child, he is an adult and as such he is responsible for his actions having tried and failed to destroy everything that I have ever loved for money and for sick twisted sport.

"Is Grey so insecure that he had to make sure she wouldn't be tempted to reach out to me?" He actually smirks.

"No. Christian knows nothing about the letters to Sean wherein you go on and on about my daughter – the officials here at the prison gather them and mail them to me. You do know you are not allowed to contact any member of my family or our associates do you not? Given Mr. Markum's association with Christian, my son-in-law and Mr. Gates…" His eyes blacken with a fury I did not think was possible for a human being.

"You are in violation of your sentencing agreement. I could have opted to have Warden Brown speak with you concerning these matters, but decided that it would be more effective and I must admit more satisfying to tell you that your isolation and solitary confinement just became more isolated and confined."

"What the fuck are you talking about?!"

"You're being transferred Mr. Jackson. On Tuesday you will be moved to the Supermax prison in Florence, Colorado, where you will spend twenty-three hours a day locked in your cell. You will be escorted by a minimum of three officers during your five hours of private recreation per week. Your cell will have a desk, a stool, and a bed, which are almost entirely made of poured concrete, as well as a toilet that shuts off if blocked, so you won't be able to start a flood or drown yourself. Your shower runs on a timer in three minute intervals for a maximum six minute shower per two days. Your sink will be made entirely of concrete including the tap – no metal anywhere. In addition to all of these…luxuries your cell is soundproofed to prevent you from communicating with other prisoners via Morse code or other jailhouse communication you might cleverly invent.

Oh, you're going to love this…the four inch by four feet windows of your cell? They are designed to prevent crafty inmates like yourself from knowing their specific location within the complex because they can see only the sky and roof through them, making it virtually impossible to plan an escape with an outside accomplice. That's genius right?! Not to worry, you get to exercise in a concrete pit resembling an empty swimming pool, also designed to prevent you from knowing your location in the facility for the same reason. The pit is only large enough for you to walk ten steps in a straight line, or thirty-one steps in a circle. Finally, since it is clear you have no interest in following the rules set forth in your sentencing memo that you signed, telecommunication with the outside world is forbidden, and food is hand-delivered by correctional officers.

And just in case you think you should do the world a favor and opt out by trying to end it all? You will be monitored twenty-four hours a day via closed circuit TV with officials having panic buttons on the ready, as well as top notch medical team on staff to provide immediate assistance to preserve your sorry assed life until you die of natural causes, you miserable son of a bitch. You will not end your suffering."

###

"Sweetie, dinner will be ready in about fifteen, you hungry?"

"Always. Smells wonderful." Carla turns to walk back to the kitchen where no doubt Jaiden is waiting ever the ultimate in enthusiastic little helper, but I grab her by the waist, spin her around and pull her in for a kiss which I deepen immediately.

"Well, that was quite the hello." Carla remarks with a blush when I let her up for air, and I am humbled and grateful that I can still make that happen.

"Is everything okay Ray?"

"Everything is perfect baby. What's for dinner?"

One year later

APOV

"Ready Baby?"

I give my husband a wink and we start our countdown.

"Five…four…three…two…one!" We open our matching denim shirts to reveal the tee shirts underneath that read, Mommy's little girl and Daddy's little girl.

"Oh my god a niece!" Mia squeals, she's damn near hyperventilating while fanning herself in dramatic fashion. I can see the wheels turning from here – I will likely never need to buy my child a stitch of clothing. Everything's coming up pink in her mind for sure.

Today I am officially twenty-one weeks pregnant, and I grow more excited every single day. Christian and I found out on Thursday – after agreeing to wait until he returned from China where he spent the previous two weeks smoothing out the rough edges of a shipyard acquisition that had begun to break down – as usual we hated being apart and though Dr. Bynum had indicated we could possibly tell by the eighteenth week there was no way I was even going to chance knowing the sex of our child, our first child without Christian by my side.

So much has changed in the last year. Elite is thriving in the up turning market and recently in spite of her initial reservations, Kate admitted that having Jose as a partner was pure brilliance. Terri has moved into Jose's former position and our new office assistant Hannah has been with us for about six months now. With Sean Markum's guidance and Jerome's developing skills Elite created headhunting specialty industry focused software as well as a global version of our partner software portal, Jerome is now a partner in our info tech venture EliteTech.

We launched our flagship software Persona HR at the beginning of the year at the Human Resources Expo in Toronto with the proceeds from that opening alone netting over twenty million in software and license sales. While Kate and I are every bit as committed to Elite – we trust our staff to run the day to day operation for the most part. I continue to focus on talent acquisition and our next project developing our training model, it would be similar to the Meyer's Briggs Type Indicator in that it uses specific questions to determine personality types – our questions were developed based on placing our partners with the right employers. Our seminars will be tailored to educate human resource professionals – our global partners will come to Seattle to take a three day course – that includes becoming Persona certified, allowing them to add completion of our training program to their list of credentials. The cost of the program for organizations will be set somewhere around $5,500 at a minimum of two HR professionals per contract, with refresher courses and certifications based on current market trends for about $500 bi-annually. Cha ching!

Once Christian and I decided we wanted to have children sooner rather than later – I knew I needed to modify my plans for conducting travelling seminars. Christian helped us to realize the dream of creating and disseminating our human resources training program, while based in Seattle with minimal travel. "Work smarter, not harder Ana" was his simple, yet powerful mantra and it set my creative mind into overdrive. I always knew I'd be a mini-mogul.

My family is here today for the gender announcement and I'm thrilled that we have all become closer, spending time together often in San Francisco, Seattle and Washington, D.C. I have never seen my parents so happy and Jaiden is thriving with them, gone is the shy little girl who seemed afraid that her happiness would be fleeting, she feels secure in her place in this family and has warmed up to Christian. RJ is in his second year of undergrad and is still dating Tyler, with whom he has yet to define the relationship, insisting they both choose to focus mainly on their studies at this junction. Jaiden has spent time in Seattle and D.C. for long weekends and school breaks, but she is quite busy with her own friends and social calendar so we have to book time with her well in advance.

CPOV

"Christian!"

"Uh oh."

"Hey baby. How was your day, hungry?…"

"Christian why is there a purple mini R8 in the garage?"

Busted.

"Sweetie, I thought we talked about this."

"We did but it was so cute! It has air conditioning and tiny little nav system and..."

"Christian, the baby hasn't even been born yet and she already has an IPad, an elaborate playground with sandbox, a mini pool, an over the top playroom with a mini climbing wall and a tea room complete with bone china by Versace, and now she has a car. What am I going to do with you?"

"Well when you catalog it all perhaps it seems a little excessive."

"No Christian the IPad alone is a little excessive for a child in utero, I swear you have more money than sense."

She says in her adorable Ana way.

"Did you like the car?"

She just shakes her head and lets out an adorable giggle.

"I am going to put you in fiscal time out if you buy one more thing Christian, I mean it." She says with a wag of her delicate finger.

"Okay Mommy, I promise."

Just then the baby starts to move – I love it when she moves and makes little waves across Ana's belly.

"Hey, it's me…Daddy…" I coo getting on my knees as I watch and touch in wonder as she responds to my voice.

"Mommy isn't happy that I buy silly gifts – but Daddy is just so excited and can't wait to meet you, I promise you no baby has ever been more loved or wanted." If she thinks these gifts are over the top, just wait until Ana sees her push gifts.

I lay a kiss on Ana's belly and feel our baby move. I'm in love…again.

"You're not off the hook J. Paul Getty, you have to cool it – I am not raising a spoiled brat, understand?"

I continue to pepper our baby and Ana's belly with kisses, I have never felt more connected to my wife – I have never felt more love for someone I've never met.

"I mean it, now come and feed me, your daughter is starving."

###

Lying in bed just holding Ana, I'm reminded of how I felt when I first found out we were having a little girl. I was petrified, I even spoke to Flynn about my feelings of inadequacy and fear. He helped me to realize that I already had all the tools I needed to be a great father and that I need not worry that my past would be a factor in her life in any way. I realized that love was the great anecdote to all of my childhood ills.

"I worried you know."

"About?"

"From the, the moment I heard her heartbeat – I wondered if I could be good enough." I hold Ana closer still and pepper her shoulder with kisses.

"Me too." She sighs.

"Really? Ana that is completely absurd – you were made for this." I say rubbing circles on her belly.

"And so were you. Ever since that Friday morning I walked into your office, I knew you were the one."

"Friday." I whisper.

"I love it."

GPOV

"Those pictures Kate sent us of EJ the other day are so precious!" I say almost tearing up.

"I never thought I would see the day when my daughter would opt for semi full-time motherhood – she spent so much time trying to measure up to some outrageous patriarchal standard, – it's just so wonderful to see her this happy."

Diane is pretty happy herself – she and Jim have been a couple for just over a year now and I swear she looks younger than she did last year. She is practically glowing.

I have always liked Diane and I could not have asked for a better mother-in-law for Elliot and friend for myself. After the Elena debacle I admit I have shied away from friendships with women – not deliberately I don't believe but as a matter of emotional necessity as well as protectiveness of my family. Diane, Jim, Carrick and I spend time together now – we have even gone to our home in Montana for an extended weekend or three since the two of them became an item. It's fun to have a best girlfriend – one who is decent and as trustworthy as she is kind, she is friend and family the best of both loving worlds.

"Hello, Diane." I am jarred from my thoughts realizing that Eamon Kavanaugh has descended upon us. Oh dear.

"Eamon." She responds unaffected.

Eamon and Diane have had very little communication since their split – it was clear after the Viacom deal Ethan brokered along with the fact that she and her children basically owned his ass – there was zero chance of reconciliation or friendship as is the case with many people who share children and decades together. Nope. He screwed that up.

Unfortunately it failed to prevent him, much to his chagrin from trying in vain for months to woo back the wife he tossed about like rubbish – yeah, she was so over it. One month he sent her flowers every single day, with what I'm sure he felt were cute limericks designed to make her swoon. They had in fact that exact opposite effect and Diane wound up telling him that he was creeping her out and if he refused to stop his nonsense that she would file a restraining order in addition to instructing Ethan to begin the process of having him removed as COO. That finally did the trick. Shocking.

"How have you been?"

"Eamon, we're trying to have dinner here – was there something you wanted?" She chastises.

"Just to talk, you refuse to return my phone calls…"

"I've been busy." She interrupts.

I can tell Jim wants to interject, but he opts to gently stroke the back of her hand having noticed that Diane had brought her hand to the table from her lap and was gripping her napkin tightly – reminding her that he is with her.

"Busy." He smirks.

"Yes, Eamon – I am busy, I spend lots of time with my family, my friends." she remarks glancing at Carrick and I "and this wonderful man next to me." She says placing a delicate kiss on Jim's jaw, after gazing lovingly into his eyes.

"I am busy, and happier than I have ever been. So if you don't mind."

I have never seen a man look more defeated in my life – and I work in a hospital. A part of me would normally feel empathy for someone so obviously broken, but I am all too aware of the bruise this now emotionally bruised and broken man left on my friend's generous heart. He can go screw himself.

He walks away, leaving us to continue enjoying our meal.

EPOV

"Why are you here Eamon, and with a pistol?" What the entire fuck!?

"You took EVERYTHING from me." I take the opportunity to snatch the gun from his hand, no bullets – leave it to him to show up here half-cocked. Prick.

"Eamon you're drunk. Why don't you go home and sleep it off."

"How's the slut…I'm sorry…ex-slut?" He slurs and I am amazed that rather than being incensed by his words I am oddly calm and observant – instead of reacting angrily and pistol whipping him with his own gun I take in the pathetic waste in front of me. I have too much to lose – it's the Kate and EJ effect.

"Eamon, your words no longer move me. What do you want man – want me to call you an Uber?" I say dismissively turning to grab my cell from my desk.

"I don't need anything from you, I'm here to kill your ass!" He screams.

"Sit down Eamon. Please. You are in no shape to drive, how did you even manage to make it out here in your condition?"

"She was out to dinner with that LOSER!"

"She who?"

"Diane! She hates me because of him! And you!"

"Okay…so one? That's absolutely not true, and two you of all people know this. It isn't my fault you screwed around on your wife, emotionally abused your children and took them all for granted. What I don't know is why are you here…with me of all people? You clearly are not here to kill me, you're no killer Eamon."

"I should kick your smug ass."

"You're in no condition to kick anyone's ass, smug or otherwise. So since you are here and I'm here why don't you talk to me about what's really on your mind? Or I can drive you home, though since you seem like you are well on the road to Vomitville, I would much rather make you a cup of coffee and help you sober up."

I text my wife and let her know I'm running late, though I will save the details for later – right now I don't have the energy to deal with Kate's interrogation AND whatever this shit is.

###

"El! What happened to your leg! That's a nasty bruise." Kate remarks sitting up in bed.

"Your father."

"What did that bastard do to you!?"

"He fell on my leg in a drunken stupor at my office."

"What!?"

"Yeah, he showed up there drunk off his ass – he's downstairs sleeping it off in the family room."

"What? Why?"

"Because, in spite of everything – he's your father and without him there is no Kate and no EJ. In the morning we'll have coffee and talk, it's time we all move forward."

"I don't know what to say." Her tears betray her feelings.

"You're not the one that owes any explanation or apology, that's on him babe. Let's get some sleep."