I'm coming home, I'm coming home
Tell the world I'm coming home
Let the rain wash away
All the pain of yesterday

I know my kingdom awaits
And they've forgiven my mistakes
I'm coming home, I'm coming home
Tell the world that I'm coming

Rori stared at the ultrasound screen. It had been a week since they had arrived in Atlantis and Dr. Beckett had kept his word that he would not divulge any information about the pregnancy. Though, she was starting to wish she had told the guys. Maybe she would soon. She still wanted to protect them from the loss that had broken her heart into pieces, but at the same time she didn't want to go through that alone again. She had to know, first, that the baby was okay.

She could see the baby on the screen; tiny as it may be. And a heartbeat. She could see the heartbeat. It looked like a little butterfly flapping it's wings.

"There it is," Dr. Beckett said. "Beautiful heartbeat."

"But we still don't know how the Eratis DNA is going to effect the baby?" she asked.

"Your last sample still shows traces of the Eratis DNA still in your bloodstream, but there's no way of knowing if it's transferred to the baby or what, if any, effect it will have. Not until I can test the baby," he said. "We're going to have to wait and see." She nodded. "Are you sure you don't want to tell your husbands?"

"They may never forgive me for not telling them right away. But I want to protect them. So, no, I'm not telling them until we know more," she said. She sighed. "I can't stay here just to monitor the baby, I have duties to get back to."

"I know you're eager to get back to crime fighting," he said. "I'm going to go ahead and release you to go back to Earth. I'd like you to take it easy for another week before returning to full duty." She nodded her understanding. "And if anything seems out of the ordinary I want you to contact Dr. Jennifer Keller at Stargate Command. She runs the infirmary there and she's going to assist me with your case."

"Should I go to my regular OB as well?" she asked.

"For now, Jennifer and I will handle all of your care," he said. "I'm going to come out to Albuquerque in two weeks to check in on you. I would like to do a DNA profile on the baby at that point. It will help us get a better idea of what's going on."

"Alright," she agreed.

"I'll tell the Board that you're cleared to depart," he said.

"Thank you, Dr. Beckett, for everything," she said.

"It's my pleasure, go tell those boys they get to go home," he said.

She nodded. The guys had gotten stir crazy halfway through the week and started doing random things. She'd never seen Hank and John go running so much. Apparently there were some pretty private catwalks in the belly of the city that John used to run when he was living in Atlantis. Rori had a feeling she knew what else they were doing down there. She really wanted to find out if she was right but she had been instructed that heavy exercise was not advised. She and Danny had discovered the balcony overlooking the east pier, which provided an irresistible view of the sunset and it was conveniently close, and doctor approved, to the quarters they'd been provided. Steve had taken a reluctant Danny to train with Ronan and Teyla. Rori was just happy she was exempt from said training after her injury because it looked brutal.

Now, she followed Dr. Beckett out into the main infirmary area where the guys waited. They hadn't been too happy when she'd asked them not to accompany her to her checkup with Dr. Beckett, but they had agreed because she was the boss in more than one way. They were waiting impatiently, which really didn't surprise her. Danny had a glove and was blowing it up just to let it go and see how far it would fly. Steve and John were discussing one of the new hand to hand techniques that Ronan had taught Steve. While Hank sat on one of the infirmary beds watching the exam room door like a hawk and was the first to notice Rori and Beckett exiting.

"How are we?" Hank asked, and jumped off the bed to meet them.

"Going home, finally," she said. "Doc wants me to take it easy for another week, but he said he's confident I don't have any lasting side effects." She hoped that statement was true.

"Oh, thank God!" Danny said. "When can we go?"

"That's gonna be up to the Colonel," John said with an eye roll. Rori really needed to get that story. "I'll go check."

"I'll come with you," Rori said. This would probably be her only chance to get him to open up about the incident that had led to his leaving Atlantis in the first place.

"They won't let you in the control room," John said.

"So I'll walk with you to the control room and wait for you outside," she said. He didn't argue, just led the way down the hallway toward the transporter that would take them to the gate room. "Are you ever going to tell me what happened with Colonel Lorne?"

"Do I have to?" he asked.

"I supposed you don't, but you have nightmares about the man, so I feel like he's a pretty big bit of your past," she said. "And secrets aren't good for a marriage."

"Says the woman that wouldn't let any of her husbands go into the exam room for a follow-up with her doctor," he pointed out.

He was right, of course, and his pointing it out reminded her that she wouldn't be able to hide her condition very long. Not that she really thought she could from the start.

"There wasn't space in that exam room for all of you, which one of you do you think I could have had in that room without the others getting upset?" she asked. "Hank would be the logical choice, but this is your territory, so maybe you would be more fitting. However, Steve and Danny are pretty experienced at the whole patient support thing. So, the best choice was to make all of you wait."

"Don't you use logic with me, darling," he said as the reached the transporter. They stepped on and the doors closed behind them. "I don't know about you, but I'm hoping the great and mighty Colonel tells us we can't head home just yet."

"Why's that?" she asked.

He flipped around and pinned her against the wall. "Because I want to show you the catwalk," he whispered in her ear and reached over to tap the screen on the back wall of the transporter. The doors opened to the gate room.

"I bet you would!" she said as she followed him up the stairs to the control room. Nobody tried to stop her as they strode right into the control room and through to an office on the other side. "I guess they will let me in," she whispered.

"Colonel, you have a moment?" John asked the man behind the desk. A week they'd been in Atlantis and she hadn't met the man. He looked up and smiled at John. She was caught off guard by his friendliness, a smile that came from his eyes, and cute little dimples in his cheeks.

"Sheppard, this must be the famous Rorianna Rivera," he said as he stood up and offered his hand to her. "Colonel Evan Lorne, Commander of the military contingent here in Atlantis."

He could be as friendly as he wanted to, but John didn't trust him so she didn't either.

"I know who you are," she said. She didn't shake his outstretched hand.

"I hear Dr. Beckett has cleared you to go home. I'm guessing you'd like to do that as soon as possible," Lorne said.

"You'd be guessing right, sir," John said. He had clearly forced out the last word, but she also detected a hint of respect and… guilt. John carried so much guilt around with him. She wished she knew how to help him with that. But, now she was just confused. Was she supposed to hate Lorne or respect him? For her there was no middle ground.

"Well, get your things together, we're dialing out to Earth in about an hour," Lorne replied. "Doc had perfect timing." Lorne leaned with his backside resting on his desk and crossed his arms over his chest, it reminded her of John. "Shep, I want to say I'm sorry. Taking this position after you turned it down wasn't the easiest thing I ever did. I felt like it would effectively end any chance I had of repairing our relationship."

"Relationship?" Rori asked.

"Sheppard was the best CO I ever had, but he was also one of the only people I ever trusted with my life," Lorne said.

"Maybe that trust was misplaced," John said.

"I never meant for things to go down like they did," Lorne added, ignoring John's obvious acceptance of what had happened, whatever it was. It was very clear that the Colonel blamed himself as much as John did.

"It was my decision, you and I both know I deserved a court martial," John said.

"That's not true and you know it," Lorne said.

"We're going to get our stuff together," John said. He stalked out of the room and left her alone with Lorne. She was probably supposed to follow him and she started to, but Lorne started talking.

"I wish I could fix what happened that day or in the court martial. But I can't," Lorne said. "He knows that, right?"

"I think his life was turned upside down and I don't know how you fit in but he seems to blame you for it," Rori said.

"I defied a direct order and almost died because of it. I thought we had a chance to save a village from a Wraith attack, and we did, but it was a Hail Mary and he didn't think it would work, he was right," Lorne said. "And the only reason I'm alive today is because of him. But, the IOA thought he made a decision based on his ego of rather or not he thought he could succeed."

"John's ego isn't that big," she said. "He made a decision, from what I'm hearing, based on what he thought was possible. I've seen him do it time and time again in the field. Before they judged him or pointed fingers at him, did they think about all the lives his supposed ego has saved. I don't know the whole situation but John Sheppard is one of the most selfless people I know."

"I know that, I'm one of those people he's save, many times," he said almost fondly. "Especially that day."

"So, what's his deal with you then?" Rori asked.

"He blamed himself because I nearly died and someone that was very special to me did die in that village," Lorne said. "It wasn't his fault."

Rori had completely misread the situation. John didn't hate Lorne, he respected him and wished that he had done better by him.

"Rorianna!" John called from the gate room below.

"John's guilt over things he can't control sometimes eats him up," Rori said. "For what it's worth, he didn't come back to Atlantis because of me. He realized he wanted to stay with me because he loved me and he would trade anything for me. He's doing really well, he's happy with us on Earth."

"I know, I hate that I had to send Teyla and Rodney to get him like that," Lorne replied.

"You sent them?" Rori asked.

"Without the approval of the rest of the Board, yes," Lorne said. "I knew that John would never come if I asked him. My testimony in the court martial, though I thought it would help him, sunk his career."

"Well, you made the right decision sending Teyla and Rodney," she said. She took a good look at the man. He was shouldering more than he should. He was just like a younger version of John. "I should go, he's waiting."

"Take care of him," Lorne said.

"You know it," Rori called over her shoulder as she left the office and jogged to catch up to John.

"What did he say?" John asked when she reached him.

"Nothing you don't already know," she said. "You don't have to carry the weight of the galaxy, or two galaxies, on your shoulders. You are not guilty for not protecting everyone."

"Only when it's my job and I fail," he replied. "Come on, let's go get our stuff." He wrapped one arm around her shoulders and pulled her back toward the transport. "Maybe we have enough time for a jog down to the catwalk?" he whispered.

"You are so bad," she said. "Let's do it."