Splatoon: The Drafted Squid

Phishy

All throughout his life, Phish had a habit of loathing himself and the other Inklings around him. It was almost as if a curse had been placed upon him since birth that attracted misfortune in some shape or form. Sure, he had access to the technology and comforts of the budding, modern Inkling world, but it seemed as though that was the only actual comfort in his life that he could find.

His childhood was somewhat of a mystery. He hardly recalled parents of any kind. Even if he did have any, his memory was cloudy. The memories he did have were of other Inklings turning a blind eye as Phish struggled in the society Inklings had set. Inkling lives were all about popularity, and the more skilled you were, the better off you were in the world. He would struggle to find a job, proper housing, and a nice meal, but that was a whole different story, one of which he would deal with.

Now that there was a gun pointed at the back of his head, Phish briefly wondered if this was his saving grace or if it was just another low in his life. The wind whistled a bit, and, if he turned his head ever so slightly, he could just barely make out his assassin's face. Or, at least the mask covering it.

Purple eyes glared at the back of his head. A sheet of metal, or at least it looked like that, covered her face. The eyes, in fact, were not eyes at all, rather violet dots with which to protect one's irises. It was bizarre, but the oddities of the other race was lost on him once he remembered that there was a gun pointed at his head. He noticed the gun barrel move, rotating to constantly face him as she rotated about, eyeing him from head to toe.

"Hmm. You don't seem to be armed." She frowned.

Phish sighed, sneaking a glance towards a tent in the distance, where collection of bamboo poles laid, ink dripping out of the barrels. He watched as the weapon previously aimed at his face was lifted up, the Octoling still staring at him curiously.

"Honestly. Inklings can't seem to do anything right." She shook her head, "Especially battleware. Seriously, a suit? What, you going to take your enemies out to dinner?"

Phish scowled, looking down, then pretended to adjust his undone tie. "They had no spare wearable equipment."

The Octoling sneered, holstering her gun. "Sucks. Well, you don't seem to be too threatening."

With that said, she kept a careful eye as she advanced into the equipment tent, walking with her head turn up until the point where she finally made it to the first weapon. Bending down swiftly, still making sure Phish was up to no funny business, (he would shake his head whenever shot any suspicious looks) she would dig through the pile of bamboo based weaponry. As she eventually shifted into a violet octopus, Phish quickly considered his options. There was a possibility that he could make a break for it, but knowing the odd Inkling draft that landed him here in the first place, all he could do was scowl and hope for the best.

Eventually, she returned, one of those bamboozling weapons carried on her back, thanks to the straps on her armor. "Hmm. You really aren't doing much to stop me. Thanks for making this easy."

In response, Phish just glared back, blinking occasionally. His cool demeanor was betrayed by a few beads of sweat he could feel dripping down his neck. However, as he noticed her reaching for her weapon, he started panicking mentally. Sure, his life was not exactly glamorous, but just getting shot in the face?

"That'd be just embarrassing." He thought to himself.

As the silicone weapon was removed from its leather sheath on the side of her hip, Phish decided it was a clear case of "do or die". Thinking fast, he slapped the weapon down on the ground, out of her grasp, where it fell right next to her feet. For a moment, Phish could breath a sigh of relief in knowing he had-

"Wait." He had noticed the other ink propelling weapon on her back, "Shoot."

She stared at her weapon, now lying on the ground. Her hidden eyes glanced over the silver nozzle laying on the ground. A hand now lying on her hips, she glared at Phish for a while, the young Inkling staring back nervously, his hand slowly reverting back to its basic position. But all of a sudden, her mouth curled up into a smile, a very light smile, but an expression of amusement, nonetheless.

She leaned down, staring down at Phish. "You slapped my gun down."

Phish's eyes gravitated towards the oddly funnel-shaped gun on the floor with a violet container. As if gripped by a battle instinct, he reached for it. Still with one more weapon option, she retrieved the bamboo stick from her back that qualified as a weapon. The two spun towards one another with weapons aimed and ready. Of course, the fact that they were so close and the short range would result in the two clashing weapons, the ink guns launched to the side as a result. Blinking, Phish mentally facepalmed. With all weapons now lying to the side, he simply decided that perhaps physical attacks would-

"Gah!" Phish yelped, landing on the ground.

The Octoling stretched her hand, shaking her fist. "That was easy."

Rubbing his face, Phish grit his beak, raising his fist to retaliate. Unfortunately, no amount of mild teeth clenching can prepare for a full on-fight at random. His enemy, while taken by surprise, easily avoided the swing. And the one after that, and the one after that.

"She's dodging everything!" Phish thought, and on a side note, "This has got to be one of the most humiliating-"

"You finished yet?" The Octoling asked, slamming him in his abdomen.

"Guh!" The Inkling fell to his knees, clutching his stomach.

He groaned, staring back up at her. She had already started dashing for one of the weapons laying at the side, the two placed in a small pile. Attempting to shake off the pain, Phish followed suit, attempting to take off. All throughout the fight, he noticed just how outclassed he was. Her speed, her strength, and her focus were practically seamless. Nevertheless, if Phish wanted to live to tell the tale, he would have to beat her to the punch, so to speak. Spying the Octarian's weapon, he noticed a collection of ink spewing out. The amount of ink held in its clear container was certainly enough.

Dashing towards the weapons, Phish dived towards them, switching into a blue squid, tentacles flapping in the wind as he traveled. Noticing her opponent take off the ground, his assassin switched into an octopus. The two traveled through the air, eventually landing on the ground, rolling back into a humanoid form. Throughout their tumble, they reached out and grabbed a weapon at random. As Phish paused, he shot his arm out and aimed. While he had finished rolling, it seemed that she had taken the bamboo weapon in the mad dash to find a weapon. She fumbled with it, attempting to aim.

But Phish had already set his sights, and pulled the trigger. "Gotcha!"

Violet ink was fired out of the nozzle, battering her body with the ooze. She gasped, not before the ground was covered with a violet that was similar to poison dripping on the ground. The remnants of her were nowhere to be seen after Phish finally let up on the trigger, the gun completely empty of any ink, easing his mind. With that horrific turn of events over, Phish breathed in a sigh of relief, sitting back near the puddle, setting the odd octopus weapon down.

Unfortunately for him, he neglected to realize that violet ink has no effect on violet Octolings. From behind, the form of an octopus rose from the purple abyss, eventually taking on the form of an Octoling garbed in armor and boots. She shook her head, wiping some ink off of herself. Reaching out, she placed her hand on Phish's shoulder. Of course, the sudden contact shocked Phish, whose eyes immediately gravitated back towards the gun. Upon finding that empty, he turned around, noticing his grave mistake. His opponent had a hold on him. She had a smirk on, and for a while, neither of them said anything.

Finally, the tension was broken with a laugh. Phish blinked, the laugh was hardly that of a villain nor the cackling of some insane person like he had expected, it was hearty and in good spirit, as if from a fellow player in a game.

"You might've actually splatted me if you used the right gun there, you know!" She grinned, patting him on the back.

His would be killer was patting Phish on the back. Sighing, he just nodded, staring down at the ground. Blinking, she stared at him, deciding to trudge out of the ink, until she bent down, face to face with Phish, who only barely noticed her, jolting up again.

"Alright, be honest." She frowned, "Were you even trying back there?"

Phish looked up, frowning at her. "I mean, I suppose… Yes? No..."

She sighed, shaking her head. "Thought so. Look man, I don't wanna be part of this war either. But with that attitude, you might as well be dragging the war on forever."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Phish asked.

Pursing her lips, she tilted her head. "If everyone just moped about after a loss or a win, there won't be any progress, will there?"

Laying his head down on his knees, he just shrugged. The Octoling simply grinned.

"I want this to end just as much as you do so I can go back home." The Octoling spoke up, leaning on the bamboo cane.

"...Huh." Phish murmured, "You tried to splat me back there though…"

Rolling her eyes, she snickered. "Yep."

Phish broke into a cold sweat yet again. His reaction proved much more hilarious from the octopus' point of view, and yet again, he was greeted with a bout of giggles.

"But hey, one splat of some random Inkling isn't going to end the war. Count yourself lucky." She finished, patting Phish on the back, walking off.

As if the entire skirmish had not happened at all, it left Phish in a daze. Thoroughly confused, all he could do was spin around, watching the Octoling leave.

"The name's Mai, by the way." She waved, kicking the cane away.

Frowning, all Phish could do was huff. "I didn't ask."

With that, she cracked a final smile. "Ah, but you were wondering. See you later, Mr. Tie."

With that being said, she disappeared into the grassy fields over the horizon, switching into an octopus and vanishing from sight. Blinking, Phish glanced down to the ground. The violet ink was already beginning to vanish from sight. Funnily enough, the two weapons from their miniature battle were left on the floor. Mai's octopus weapon and the bamboo cane. Frowning, he picked up the Octoling's weapon, looking over it. He sighed, carrying it in his hand, picking the other weapon up, walking back to the weapons tent with a less than cheerful demeanor.

Already Phish had his first skirmish in a war, and he could not tell if he had won or not.

AN: So, what would the act of foreshadowing while simultaneously providing a backstory for characters from another story be? Hmm. I'm going to have to look that up.

But aside from story complications, let's take a look at the reviews. Thanks write n wrong and Guest for reviewing!

I appreciate the optimism, write n wrong, hopefully a Splatoon update or sequel will breathe new life in the game, with the last Splatfest around the corner, it's certainly a tad sad, but it can only mean good things from here. Hopefully.

Thanks Guest, I'm glad I could provide a bit of uniqueness in this story, but quite a few other stories have explored the Great Turf War in one way or another. But thanks for noticing mine.

Thanks everybody for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to find a way to decipher a sensible time frame whence the Great Turf War took place to avoid any glaring canon plot holes, see you.