Chapter 4: Khrushchyovka
Idly sitting on the train for hours was unnerving. After a while he got up and walked up and down the aisle, but never too far from his luggage on top of the overhead compartment. This was Russia after all, you could never know what kind of gopniks would be interested in the black suitcase while he wasn't around.
Moscow was way colder than St. Petersburg, not only temperature-wise. The people were dismissive as well. He felt like everyone threw cold glances at him, that was if someone even bothered to notice him as he stepped out of the station and onto the chilly street. A woman ran into him because she was too focused on her smartphone and hissed an insult at him, walking away hastily.
He arrived at the hotel he had called last night to book a room half an hour later. It was cheaper than the one he had stayed at by the advice of Mila and way sleazier. He felt out of place in his black pants and white shirt under the leather jacket and looked around trying to hide his discomfort while the girl at the counter fed his personal data to the computer.
"If it's your first time in Moscow,", she said looking up at him, clearly intimidated by his appearance, "I can give you guidance on the nightlife."
"It is certainly not", he replied with stern face, then held out his hand for the key. It was up in the room when he realized that she likely had offered to give him personal guidance and he felt a little bad for being so rude.
Like in St. Petersburg he didn't unpack his suitcase here either. The room was tiny and old but at least the sheets were clean. He sat down on the bed and stared at the wall with his hands on his knees to get his thoughts in order. Victor had given him the address of the old Plisetsky residence but had supposed that there was nothing – nobody – to be found there. He would go there nevertheless, it was the only hint he had. He didn't know anyone in Moscow. Well, maybe one person. Just in case Yuri was still here. There were so many possibilities on what had happened to his friend after all, three years were such a long time. Maybe Yuri wasn't even here anym-
A phone call interrupted his thought and he fished his phone out of the inside pocket of the jacket he still wore.
He took the call from an unknown number with a neutral "Yes".
There was a moment of silence, then a very familiar voice said: "It's true after all, I read it online and double-checked from Viktor that you're back among the living, bro." Unmistakably Jean-Jacques Leroy. "Could've called me, y'know, we're family after all. How's it going?"
"Fine", he said.
"Still very talkative, I see." JJ laughed confidently. "What're you up to, heard you're on a little journée in Mother Russia. Chasing after your golden princess I guess?"
Otabek frowned. "Did Viktor tell you that?"
Again JJ laughed. "No, I'm Watson, you know? Wasn't too hard to guess, too. When kitty decided to disappear back then I already thought that you wouldn't like it. He should've asked me, I had told him it's a bad idea. So, any progress? He was kinda thorough back then I heard."
Sighing Otabek leaned forward and supported his upper body on the elbows on his knees. "Not in St. Petersburg. I just arrived in Moscow, but the only thing I have is the old address where he lived with his grandfather. I hope there's someone there who knows something."
A low, unusually pondering hum came from the other end of the line. "Not to make you feel down, dude, but have you ever had the thought that he did that on purpose? Disappearing I mean. And doesn't want to be found."
"Of course I have", Otabek answered quickly. "But it doesn't matter. It's important for me to find him, because… because..."
"I know why", JJ said when Otabek fell silent. His voice was low and understanding, showing that side of him that only few people knew existed. "Maybe you could shroud it from anyone else, but seriously Beks, I was there when you fell for the boy, no need to hide that from me. I just want you to know that there might be a reason for him to break all bonds. Just keep that in mind as you continue your search, okay? I don't want to see you on your knees if you don't find him. Yuri has always been very diligent, you know what I mean. If he wanted to start a new life, he must've been very careful about it. Just saying."
Otabek didn't reply anything, but of course JJ was right. If Yuri hadn't been careless at some point there was no way that Otabek would find him. It was almost hopeless already, he didn't know what to do if there was no hint at the old apartment. He'd just have to try and see and if there was nothing he'd think about what to do afterwards when the time came. But now he needed to focus and clutch at that straw.
"Hey", JJ said. "I'll keep my fingers crossed, bro, you know that, right? I'm on your side. I wish I could do more for you than just getting on your nerves, but that's what I do best after all." He laughed and Otabek felt himself smile.
"I'm counting on you when it comes to that", he murmured.
"If you have time come over and visit", JJ offered out of context. "Me and Izzy have twins now, you know. Mireille-Marie and Line-Louise, adorable little princesses, and Izzy is pregnant with a boy. She wants to name him Jérôme-Julien, JJ the Second, wouldn't that be cool? Anyway, don't hesitate to get back to me, homie, I'd appreciate it."
"Sure thing", Otabek said. "Send your family my greetings."
JJ groaned. "T'as le balai dans le cule, dude, seriously. Take care, Beks, I'll kick your ass if you don't."
When JJ hung up Otabek sighed in relief. It had been exhausting to listen to the man talking. But it had felt good as well. Familiar, homey even. Also that someone else knew about his feelings, about the urge he felt to find Yuri, it gave him a feeling of approval. He knew he was going this way all by himself. But he also knew now that there were still people thinking of him rather than just see him off without knowing why he did so.
Otabek straightened his shoulders and got up from the bed. He had no time to waste. It was just after noon and he had this one trace after all. He'd not let it wait.
С
The complex, like the surrounding buildings as well, was five stories high, gray, old and an absolute nightmare. It was exactly like all the so called khrushchyovka, cheap apartment buildings that had been built overnight in huge numbers half a century ago and that were home to a large amount of Moscow's population still nowadays. Even from a distance the thought that Yuri had grown up here sent shivers down Otabek's spine. As he walked closer a few clouds drifted over the sun, making the light dim and hueless. It was like someone had faded out all the colors from the world to emphasize the hopelessness that was the only thing that flourished in places like these.
"Hey, brother, do you have a cig?"
He looked the way the voice had come from and spotted a group of five kids, ages varying from what looked like 10 up to 16. They lingered close to a tree with only few leaves that topped off the bleak area like it had been specifically cultured to make one feel depressed.
"No, I quit", he gave back with a shrug.
"Yeah, sure, loser", the boy who had spoken before spat, making the girl next to him hiss: "Vitaly, shut up, he'll kick your ass."
The boy snorted and they all watched him pass by in the distance wordlessly.
There was a guard office in the house, but the man inside there didn't act like he cared about the security in the building at all. When Otabek approached the counter he was merely half-awake, his feet on the table, a horse race running on the small TV next to them; close-by a few empty plastic beer bottles.
"I am sorry to interrupt your business", Otabek said and tried not to sound too offensive. "I am a friend of the family who used to live in apartment 424."
The man grunted. "424 you say? Are you here to clean the place up?", he asked with a grumpy face. "About time. There hasn't been anybody in there for an eternity. No one but rats I s'ppose." He sat up and coughed like he smoked two packs a day.
"No, I'm actually investigating the whereabouts of the former residents", he replied as neutral as possible.
"Oh, you're from the police?" The man rose his thick, gray eyebrows, but seemed to be willing to cooperate a little more than before, so Otabek went with that.
"I am looking for them", he explained vaguely. He had said that he was a friend of the family, but obviously he looked and acted like someone who the guard would provide information to, so he didn't clear up the misunderstanding.
"Well, in that case I can let you in the apartment", the old man said, suddenly eager and reaching out for a key ring. "I have the master keys right here, but I haven't been in there since the plumber was here to check the pipes last winter." He got up and whistled and only now Otabek caught sight of the old dachshund that had dozed off in the far back of the guard office and got up slowly to follow it's master out of the cabin.
"You know", he went on as Otabek followed him up the dirty stairs, "I always thought that there was something strange going on up there. They have lived there when I took the job, when was that again? Let me think, that must have been 1987, the year after Chernobyl happened. We had a really cold winter then, you know, Officer. The windowpanes were freezing from both sides and they found frozen corpses everyday, it wasn't even surprising anymore when they said it on the radio.
Well, anyway, they lived up there already, the old man and his son and later his wife as well. She was a pretty little thing but the alcohol got her after her husband died, you know. She didn't last long and then it was only the old man and the small boy."
He paused after the second flight of stairs and breathed hard, the dachshund beside him. "You have to excuse an old man's weak lungs, Officer, I ran that in a minute when I was your age. How old are you, 25, 30? Anyway", he continued after some moments and started to climb the stairs at a slower pace now, "at some point the boy moved away and left only the old man behind. I always wondered how he afforded the place. I think he was a… shoemaker, yes he was. He mended the shoes of the people in the house after he dropped out of work. You know, Officer, he was a good man, but not a rich one. And then one day they bought the apartment."
He turned around to give Otabek a meaningful nod. "Not to suspect anyone, but if the boy goes away and then a lot of money comes in, that makes people think. But I am not interested in the backstories of anyone here, I was just thinking that something strange might have been going on. You know, that was… Let me think, that was 2015, the year after that Ukraine issue, it was a hard time for everyone. We had so much trouble back then, sugar was so expensive, the bakers couldn't bake cakes and sweets anymore but of course you remember that. Anyway, he somehow had enough money to buy the apartment, I didn't ask how because that's really none of my business. And here we are already."
Already – it had taken three times as long as if Otabek had gone up here by himself, but the information was kind of welcome. He hadn't known that Nikolai Plisetsky was a shoemaker. Yuri had talked a lot about his grandfather back in the days but the only thing Otabek had known so far Nikolai Plisetsky could make were his famous pirozhki.
The corridor was dim and smelled weirdly. On both sides doors lined the walls with so little space in between that Otabek could only guess that the apartments behind them were tiny. As they passed along the old metal doors he could hear the lives going on in the flats: TVs running, babies crying, a man and a woman having an argument, someone whistling an old folk song that Otabek hadn't heard in a decade, but couldn't quite remember in detail. All in all it was depressing, like everything here seemed to be. The old guard led the way reading out the numbers on the doors, the dog and Otabek following him in silence.
"20, 22, 24, there you go."
The door was a dark green, like all the others, but the peep hole was sealed with duct tape.
"Don't expect anything other than dust in there, Officer", the guard said, fumbling with the keys on the ring. He found the correct key after a few moments and unlocked the door. "I'll let you do your work now, let me know when you leave so I can lock the door again."
"Thank you", Otabek said and waited until the old man and the dog disappeared down the hallway and into the staircase. Then he placed his hand on the handle and with a deep breath pressed the door open.
The hinges made a sound as if he had stepped on a rat. Cold air greeted him, a strange smell, like cold dust and loneliness, twilight. He stepped inside, the small dark hairs on his arms standing upright under his clothes.
He had been here before. He didn't remember exactly, but the narrow corridor with low ceiling and the brown worn-out carpet, the old slightly skew shelf with shoes and shopping bags and a wicker basket that was filled with leaflets and brochures, it felt kind of familiar. Behind him the door fell shut with a metallic noise that made him startle. He used the light switch, and the overhead lamp came to life, but with a thin sound the bulb blew and he found himself back in the half-darkness again.
Slowly he started walking down the short corridor. The first door on the left was the bathroom, he was sure, so he didn't look inside. A few steps later there was a door on the right, the kitchen. He peeked inside in the twilight, but didn't enter the room. It was small and crammed, the equipment outdated for decades already. He felt he remembered being in there, but it was blurry. At the same time he felt the urge to walk down the corridor further. It was like a string attached to his chest pulling him forward.
The room in the far back was Nikolai Plisetsky's. He switched the light on that endured this time to see a narrow bed with a blue and green knitted bedspread that seemed to be handmade. The wardrobe next to it looked like was as old as the whole building, leaning against the wall like a hoary grandma about to collapse. Everything looked old and worn-out but kept in order despite the clearly visible signs of aging. Dust had covered everything like time had let it snow onto the room to slowly made it fade away in hues of gray.
Otabek roamed the room slowly, taking in the silent witnesses of the past. The old carpet swallowed the sound of his footsteps as he walked. In a box he spotted shoemaker's equipment. A line of potted plants on the windowsill had withered away a long time ago, the stems now brown finger bones sticking up in the air like they were pointing at the curtain. The TV was a tube, small, with a small crochet tablecloth on it and a framed monochrome photo: Nikolai and his bride, smiling towards the camera in what Otabek guessed was 1960's wedding fashion. In the shelf with the TV on top was a video tape recorder along with tapes, thoroughly lined up and labeled "Yuri Nationals 2014", "Yuri Grand Prix Juniors 2014", "Yuri Nationals 2015", "Yuri World Cup Juniors 2015", "Yuri Grand Prix Juniors 2015", "Yuri Nationals & World Cup Juniors 2016", "Yuri Grand Prix Seniors 2016 1/2", "Yuri Grand Prix Seniors 2016 2/2 & Nationals 2017".
Otabek stared at the tapes. There should be a "Yuri World Cup Seniors 2017" as well, his friend had skated there and taken silver outscored by a few points by Viktor who had made his comeback in that competition. He bent over and pushed the lid of the video tape recorder open. The missing tape sat in there like a rodent in his hole staring at him.
Straightening up Otabek looked around. There were many picture frames on the wooden cabinet, but Otabek noticed that some of them were empty. He walked over there and soon realized that there were photos of Yuri at different ages but none of him and his grandfather together. He had a feeling that there had been some. Yuri must have taken them when he had disappeared.
When he turned around he found himself facing another door. For some reason he knew without a doubt that it led to Yuri's room and it only enhanced his impression that he had been here before.
His heart was beating heavy in his chest when he made his way over to the closed door. He noticed that his fingers were trembling when he pressed the handle down and opened the door slowly. It was dark in there. Switching on the light chaos awaited him.
He remembered the room immediately. But not like that. Back then it had been a small bedsit, crammed with animal print, Yuri's extravagant fashion and band posters. Now it looked like a pack of wild animals had been let loose in the room.
The wardrobe had been ripped open forcefully, one door only hanging from one hinge, the contents spilled on the floor. The large mirror next to the door was shattered, the fragments partially still hanging in the frame, but a lot of them mingling with the clothes on the floor. Otabek spotted Yuri's laptop on the desk, the screen broken and the keyboard taken apart, cables hanging out like ripped out insides. Above the bed the wallpaper had been ripped from the walls, the windowpane was covered with some of the wallpaper and newspapers and what seemed to be pages of Russian textbooks. A drawer had been ripped out of the desk and thrown into the corner of the room, stationary spreading around it like a puddle of lifeblood. The office chair laid on his back, the books and colorful brick-a-brack on the small shelf a turmoil.
All in all it was complete chaos. Shocked Otabek looked around. (Suddenly he had a flashback: Yuri is sitting on his bed in a loose T-Shirt, his hair a mess shining like white gold under the overhead light, his feet bruised. There's a wide smile on his face and he picks up one of the pirozhki from the plate he placed on his crossed legs. "If Lilia finds out I eat that in the middle of the night she'll kill me", he grins and takes a bite. His eyes close with relish. Then he looks over to Otabek who stands by the door. "Come here, I have two for each of us." His eyes glitter with joy and Otabek's insides tense because he's so in love with this beautiful boy.)
A deep sob shook Otabek's body and he found himself still by the door, but back in the reality, gray and cold and exasperating. He rose his hands but didn't feel tears on his cheeks. The dry sob still hurt in his throat and in his heart. He felt helpless, but refused to start crying. Instead he stared at the bed where Yui had appeared to him just a moment ago, only to leave him with his heart aching like hell.
It was strange to find that in all the chaos the room had become, the bed was still neatly made. It looked so out of place that it caught Otabek's attention in the weirdest way. But it wasn't only the fact that the violet sheets were in perfect order. What stood out was the box in the middle of the smoothly spread blanket.
It was an old shoe box, big, like it had contained boots or something similar. He scrutinized it when he came over to the bed. The outer layer had been peeled off thoroughly, leaving only the light brown cardboard. On the lid Otabek found a drawing: a bear, a teddy to be precise, like the ones he had had as a mascot back in the days. He felt like his heart stopped beating. Sitting down on the bed he picked up the box to place it on his lap. With a deep breath he lifted the lid to see what it contained.
Letters.
Otabek stared at the sheets of paper inside the box. It took him a moment until he was able to concentrate on the first line of the letter on top, but when he read it he immediately felt tears burning in his eyes.
Dear Otabek,
Yuri's handwriting was small and unskilled, like he hadn't written with a pen in a while.
I'm scared. I hope you'll never have to read those. But I'm scared. I'm so scared. I need you. Please don't leave me alone. I need you here. Don't leave me don't leave me i'm so scared please Otabek you idiot Otabek please Otabek i miss you so much
The paper was uneven where tears had fallen on it. Otabek's heart broke.
The next letter was similar.
Dear Otabek,
I can't stop crying. Will I ever stop crying? Everyone's so worried about me and I want to scream at them to leave me alone The only one I need is you no one else! Why can't they leave me alone when all i want is to have you back Why does this happen to us why is it us what have we done? i just want you back i'm so scared it drives me crazy please Otabek dont leave me
The next one was longer.
Dear Otabek,
I don't know why I am doing this. When you wake up I'll never show you those letters, EVER! I'm so ridiculous, I know I'm making a fool of myself but I need to get it out somehow. So I thought instead of screaming at everyone who comes near me and scream at night when I feel so alone and cry all day that I can get it out if I write it down.
I'm scared. But not just scared. I can't move. I can't breathe. Everything hurts. Especially my eyes and my heart. What if I lose you? I can't stand the thought. They said that you will live and then they told me that you are in a coma and no one knows what's going to happen? How am i supposed to live like that? i need you and i miss you so much, i miss you endlessly and every time i think of you i feel so guilty and i think of you ALL THE TIME! what if you die what if you leave me i cant be without you Otabek i dont want to! please dont die please please please i need you and i need to tell you that i m sorry and i just want you back so you can smile at me all i want is to see you smile once more i would do anything please dont leave me alone
Otabek's tears fell on the paper. He placed the letters he had already read on the lid of the box on the blanket next to him, then took another one.
Dear Otabek,
it was the worst seeing you like that. It haunts me. Your handsome face so pale. I have nightmares now. Your mother said they brought you home so they could be there for you. She is so worried and still so calm. When she saw me she recognized me immediately I think. She wasn't happy that I was there but I couldn't stay in St. Petersburg. Everyone tried to cheer me up but I don't want them to, I just can't stand it. I needed to see you, I think I had died if I hadn't seen you. Your mother said that it's important that you are at home and I think in the end that convinced me to go back to Moscow. She's right, home is a good place. So I came here after I left you. I think it is hard for your parents. Your father is very calm. Actually he looks a lot like you and it made me cry so much. He is a wonderful person I think, just like you are. I miss you so much. It's still like a horrible nightmare that I can't just call you in the middle of the night like I used to. I still have your birthday present as well. I want to give it to you as soon as possible. Please, Otabek, get well soon. There's nothing I wish more for.
The next page only had three different words on it, i miss you again and again, but there was a drawing as well. Otabek hadn't known that Yuri had that talent, but the rough sketch impressed him. It showed the head of a bear, small but detailed, drawn over the countless repetitions of the three words. He traced the lines with his trembling fingers. "I miss you too", he whispered, then took the next letter.
Grampa knew it., it read without a greeting. I was crying the other day, like I do every day and every night. I don't think that I can ever do anything but cry. He came to my room and sat down next to me on the mattress where I had curled up into a ball because the more uncomfortable I am the less I blame myself, not that I ever feel better than horrible. I know how you feel! he said, because I lost my son. You know he has never talked about my father NEVER but he petted my hair like he did when I was small. It made me cry even more, but he didn't stop and said We all go through the darkness sometimes but it is only dark as we don't recognize the light. That boy is dear to you I know and you are dear to him and thats why you can't give up because you can not forget how to smile because when he wakes up you need to smile for him. I didn't really know what he meant by that and tbh I don't feel like smiling at all. But he somehow knew what was going on between us although I was so careful when you were here. Maybe it's because he was so old and of course he knew me so well. i couldn't tell him tho. So after i lost you without knowing whats going on i lost him as well without knowing whats going on. how am i so stupid? maybe its better that i am all alone now i'm just not capable of having people with me normal people with normal feelings because it looks like all i can feel is anger and pain and loneliness and guilt guilt guilt i can never tell him that its all my fault but i m so sorry Otabek i m so sorry if i could have them take my life to save yours if there was a way i d die for you i d die in your place you didn t deserve that you deserve to live you have to live and smile and be happy even if it is without me i m so sorry
My dear Otabek,
it would be so nice if I could write you that I feel better, but I don't. The funeral was horrible. I didn't know any of the people there, they just walked up to me and shook my hand and they all were strangers to me. I didn't care for Grampa enough, I know that now but as usual I realized when it was already too late. That seems to be my specialty.
I gave suicide a good thought. I lost everything. Maybe I'm being dramatic, but I felt that there was nothing left but me and my pain. Everything hurts and everything is cold. The only thing that's warm is my memories and they feel like I'm cutting myself with knives. So I thought that I could as well end it. But the more I thought about it the more I realized that you wouldn't want that. You are in that situation now because of me and the least I can do is wait for you and apologize. It's hard to keep the hope alive though. Everyday I wake up and think that today might be the day when you wake up. But it could be the other around as well. Maybe tomorrow I'll wake up and you have died in the night. I'm so scared of that. I'm really so scared. What would i do if you didn't wake up again? i think so much about that. and what would i do if you did wake up? would i know? would someone tell me? it s so hard to live with that fear, day in day out it hurts so much. it hurts so much thinking of you, your smile, your eyes your voice your warmth i need you Otabek you are the only one who can keep me from going crazy i had no idea what madness was i was so stupid and now i know and i can t stop it i just can wait and wait and wait for you to wake up and save me again like i ve always just waited for you to save me i m not a soldier Otabek i m not i m just yuri yuri without his grampa and without everything and without you i ll never give up hope that you ll wake up again you are so strong way stronger than i i am so weak and i feel so broken without you
My dear Otabek,
I left the flat today. It was the first time after days and it was sunny and warm. The summer is so nice in Moscow, I'll show you some day. There was a cat outside and I tried to pet it but it ran away. That was strange, but maybe it had a bad day I think. I realized that I'm a little like that cat maybe, sometimes I just can't have anyone around me. But you would be okay, of course.
When you wake up you can come here in summer. I have the flat for myself now, so we could live here together. I dream a lot about that although it's probably just to distract me from the thought that it's only me now. I've been by myself for more than a month now. It still hurts a lot, but I think I'm getting used to it. I'm not one for socializing, as you now, unlike other people. I'm fine by myself. I draw a little here and there and play with Boginya (Yuri's cat, Otabek remembered), but I don't need many people. I know you understand that, you are like that as well, right? It's not even hard to be away from my social media. I think I missed a lot of things when I was busy there, things that I notice and realize now. Like the sunshine outside. And the warmth.
I think a lot about you these days.
Otabek i m sorry i m sorry i need you with me i just need you i miss you so much i miss you i miss you i m sorry
Dear Otabek.
I can't take it anymore. Boginya died this morning. I'm alone now. Everyone around me dies, first you and then Grampa and now Boginya. Am I cursed? I still refuse to believe that you will die. Your mother said that they are keeping you alive as long as they can. But what if they decide it's enough? It's been almost a year now. They say that every day that passes when you don't wake up decreases the chance that you will wake up ever again! WHAT IF SHE DECIDES THAT ITS ENOUGH? I CANT LIVE WITHOUT YOU! I TRIED AND I JUST CANT AND YOU ARE NOT EVEN DEAD HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVE THIS LIFE WHEN EVEN YOU LEAVE ME I NEED YOU I need you i need you i need you Otabek you are the only one i have its always been you its always only been you i can t lose you as well. i ll do anything for you you are the reason why i still live and if you die i ll die with you and i m with you where ever you are and i want you to remember that wherever you are that i am with you i want you to think "where ever i am Yuri is with me" please Otabek i am so sorry please forgive me please don t remember me as the boy who got you killed, please, remember me as the boy who took you to that backstreet because he wanted to be close to you. Yuri will always remember you Otabek, forever. Because you are everything to me and you saved me so many times and I can never tell you, but please remember Yuri as well, because he has always been yours
The last sheet was another drawing. It showed a tiger and bear, the tiger walking towards the upper end of the paper looking to the right to where the bear was walking towards the lower end of the paper. Their bodies were brushing up against each other lightly and Otabek sobbed. Tiger and bear - Yuri and Otabek. The drawing blurred before his eyes, tears falling onto his wrists and suddenly he remembered the song he had heard someone whistling in the hallway earlier and it made him cry even more.
Apples and pears were blossoming
And mist was floating on the river
When Katyusha walked down
The steep river bank
Walking down there she sang a song
About the gray steppe eagle
And about her loved one
Whose letters she had kept.
Wow, fucked up the formatting A LOT! I'm sorry that it's hard to read like that (AO3 is better and I have a picture there, so check it out ^^)
I didn't translate the lyrics of Katyusha myself, but altered the ones I found online so it goes well with the flow of the story. I love the song so much that I even learned it by heart in Russian ^^ I don't speak ANY Russian at all tho, so if you do and find that I'm making a fool of myself please forgive me orz
Usually I hate JJ btw, but Otabek needs a little support here, so I had him show up and I really love how he turned out. ^^
Also "I miss you/I need you with me" is written Мне тебя не хватает, four words as you can see, but I wrote three because it would have been confusing otherwise.
Please let my know if/how you liked the chapter. I hope you all cried in the end ;D
Btw I decided on updating Sundays from now on, please stop by if you like ^^