Meanwhile, Freddie Joe and Sam drove around the outskirts of Moore Door. It was a drab, cheerless land with nothing but warehouses, truck yards, and factories. After hours of endlessly driving in circles, the hillfolks got out of the truck to take a 10-100. "Where the hell is Moore Door, Freddie Joe? We keep drivin' around here and still haven't found it," complained Sam. "Where is that daggum sumbitch?"
Hiding nearby was Daggum Sumbitch, an old trucker even older than Uncle Billy Bo, who had a bad habit of referring to himself in the third person. He was just skin-and-bones and wore only a ragged pair of overalls, and was homeless ever since he lost his rig. He was doing some handfishin' down in the reservoir when he was startled by the sound of a truck pulling up. To his astonishment, there was his rig, his 'precious' as he called it. He jumped out to confront the hillfolks.
"Thief! Bigrigses! You done stoleded our precious rig!" said Daggum. "Your uncle Billy Bo, he cheatses us. We have great hand and bet his rig on it. But Billy Bo says, 'I got three kings'. But we knows two kings has been played already. But we didn't wanna be accused of bein' card-counters, so we stays quiet-like. Then Billy Bo takes the whole pot, takin' our precious from us. We hates the Bigrigses, we hates them forever."
"Are you drunk or somethin'?" Freddie Joe asked Daggum.
"Maybe we is," replied Daggum with a wry smile.
Just then, Sam lifted Daggum's slight frame off the ground and shook him.
"You want yer rig back, Daggum? Then you better help us get to Moore Door," Sam said.
"Nasty hillfolkses! You just want my preciousss Rig for y'all-selves!" hissed Daggum.
"Sam, stop!" said Freddie Joe. "Maybe he can show us the way to the Gates of Moore Door."
"We can show nice hillfolks how to get to Moore Door," said Daggum with a wide smile, revealing his two remaining teeth.
"How can we trust you?" said Sam skeptically.
"We'uns swears on the precious," replied Daggum, holding up a bony hand.
"Doggone it! He swore on the precious! Did you see that, Freddie Joe? He done swore all over it. Bad Daggum! Bad!" said Sam, hitting Daggum on the head with a rolled-up newspaper. "I sure hope you knows what you're a-doin', Freddie Joe."
"I'm hungry. Let's go get some burgers," said Sam. "And a side of taters."
"What's taters?" asked Daggum.
"Shut up, Daggum!" replied Sam.
Freddie Joe, Sam, and Daggum piled into the One Rig. As Freddie Joe drove wearily through the barren wastes of the industrial park near Moore Door, Sam and Daggum were constantly fightin' in the rig.
"Freddie Joe! Daggum's stranglin' me!" shouted Sam.
"Quit your bitchin'," said Freddie Joe.
"Now he's hittin' me!" shouted Sam.
"Have you ever thought about poor Daggum's feelings, Sam?" said Freddie Joe wearily.
"Ouch! Now he's bitin' me!" said Sam.
"Shut up!" said Freddie Joe.
With the help of Daggum's mostly reliable directions, they soon reached the gates of Moore Door. The smell of diesel fuel filled the air. It was surrounded by an imposingly tall wall. The wall surrounded a vast empty parking lot, which was completely barren and empty (except for a few weeds in the cracks in the pavement). In the middle of the lot there stood a tall smokestack, which was painted all in black. And at the top of it was the Red Eye, the symbol of Moore Door. Nearby was Mountain Dewm, a mountain filled with corrosive yellow liquid and the same exact place where the Rig was made many years earlier.
After waiting a few minutes, the Gates opened. Several trucks departed from Moore Door. Seeing their chance, Freddie Joe mashed the hammer to sneak in before the Gates closed.
"No! They catch you!" Daggum said. "But we can find a way in for nice hillfolks."
"Why didn't you mention this before?" said Sam skeptically.
"That's 'cause y'all didn't ask us!" replied Daggum. "There's a secret way in."
"I don't trust him, Freddie Joe. He's up to something!" said Sam.
They reluctantly followed Daggum's directions to the "secret entrance". A short time later, they were approached by several armed men.
"I told you Daggum was up to somethin'. He's led us right into a trap." said Sam.
Their eyes were covered with handkerchiefs and were led away to a nearby building. When the handkerchiefs were removed, the hillfolks noticed that one of the men looked familiar.
"Beauregard!" exclaimed Freddie Joe. "What are you doin' here?
"Y'all are mistaken. I'm Feauregard, son of Denny Stewart of Doggone Door. Beauregard's my twin brother," said Feauregard. "Are you spyin' on us?"
"Spies? Wait just a daggurn minute!" said Sam.
"Well, if you ain't spyin', then where are you from and what are you doin' here?" Feauregard said.
"We's hillfolks from the Shire Mobile Home Park. I'm Freddie Joe Bigrigs and this here is Sam.
"And what is this ugly ol' critter?" Feauregard said, pointing at Daggum.
"Oh, you mean Daggum? Shoot him!" said Sam.
"No! He is bound to us! Please don't kill him." pleaded Freddie Joe, groveling on his hands and knees.
"How do you know Beauregard?" asked Feauregard.
"He was part of our convoy," answered Freddie Joe.
"Would you be sad if I told you he was dead?" said Feauregard. "We found his body and his novelty horn down by the river."
"He's dead? He was alive 'n' well when I last saw him," said Freddie Joe.
"I don't believe you!" said Feauregard.
"You wanna to know what happened to Beauregard? You wanna know why your brother died? He tried to take the Rig from Freddie Joe!" said Sam. Freddie Joe rolled his eyes.
"The Rig?" said Feauregard, with sudden interest.
"What did I say, Freddie Joe? Did I say somethin' wrong?" said Sam.
"The Rig of This-ol'-door. I've wanted to have that for a very long time," said Feauregard.
"No! Don't take it from us!" said Freddie Joe.
"Don't worry! I wouldn't take it, even if it were sittin' empty on side of the road with the keys in the ignition," said Feauregard.
To the relief of Freddie Joe and Sam, Feauregard released them and sent them on their way to Moore Door.
Freddie Joe, Sam, and Daggum got back in the rig and headed toward the secret entrance into Moore Door. It was guarded by some of Sorass's lesser goons.
"I thought you said it was unguarded, Daggum?" said Sam.
"Our mistake! At least we got you there. Bye, hillfolks!" said Daggum, who jumped out of the rig.
"How do we distract 'em?" asked Sam.
"Here's the plan: When we get to the pass, we're gonna put on our fish costumes, pass out the Vaseline and an extra ration of rum for the men. That should do it," replied Freddie Joe.
Freddie Joe and Sam put on their fish costumes which had been stored in the Rig since last Halloween, and gave each of the guards a ration of Sam's bottle of rum and some Vaseline (hey, evil minions need moisturized hands too).
They had entered Moore Door. But what they did not know was that Daggum was hiding in the back of the trailer!