Splatoon: The Drafted Squid

Extreme Durability

If there was ever a moment to trust in his instincts then now was probably not the best time. Phish's instinct was simple and he hated how simple it was. One hand haphazardly glued to the borrowed Octoshot and the other reached to accommodate its brother. He ran forwards towards the enemy squadron ready to shoot and unprepared for everything else. Phish took it upon himself to take it as a compliment and a stroke of blind luck that one of the Octotroopers distracted himself and laughed at his foolhardiness.

"Well then sure." Their leader guffawed and swerved his platform's cannon to aim. "I don't mind a free splat on my record."

Phish pointed the nose of the Octoshot across the fields. He ran vigilantly and confidently with his finger on the trigger and his eyes on the prize.

"Phish?!" Portic covered his face with his hands. "Watch where you're aiming!"

Phish suddenly hefted the gun over his head. "Don't worry, I'm not going to shoot!"

He slung the Octoshot forward. Immediately the other Octotroopers began to take aim. Their cannons fired at the weapon as it sailed through the air in a blurry arc. Violet ink soared past and landed with heavy 'plunks' as they dunked into the ground below. Phish skidded to a stop, switched into a squid, and leapt to the side.

The Octoshot dipped in altitude and landed at Portic's feet. As soon as he picked it up the Octotroopers refocused their attention on their hostage. "Shoot him!"

"I- Um, uh...take this!" Portic cried out and lashed out with the butt of the gun.

The metal surface smacked into the front of the "leader's" platform. The Octotrooper on top glanced down at his platform and fumed down at a sizable dent. "Great! Now I'll have to work overtime! Splat him!"

"Uh oh." Portic blinked suddenly.

They trained their sights in a circle around Portic who gulped in the middle with the Octoshot still clenched in his hands. He began raising his hands up in the air placating. Before they could react to his surrender one of the Octotroopers toppled over on the grass below.

"Whuh?" Portic backed away as an Octotrooper landed face first on the grass.

"Run!" Rinse growled as he wrestled the troop down to the ground. One of his fists had a miniature scuffle with the Octotrooper's head tentacle.

"Okay!" Portic called out and switched into a squid.

He hopped over Rinse and the Octotrooper and glanced back once. Rinse and the Octotrooper grappled and luckily for him it appeared as though the Inkling was winning. That being said, regardless of the outcome of the fistfight, Rinse was a shoo-in for the loser of the "living" fight as the other Octotroopers set on firing. Portic's eyes caught Phish as he stared back with his own brown pupils.

The both of them, panicked though they were, managed a small nod back at each other. They turned and they fled from the Octotroopers.

One of the Octotroopers blinked its yellow eyes lazily. "That's odd…"

As they peered away out from their circle the Octotrooper currently in a skirmish with the brick wall Rinse yelped. "Oh Cod! Oh Cod! He's tearing me apart! Somebody do something!"

"Oh right." The head Octotrooper blinked. "Forgot about that. Shoot him T3-rry."

An Octotrooper to his right nodded and swerved his cannon towards Rinse and fired a single shot. It bounced across the field and splashed across Rinse's face with a sizzle. He grunted and laid still on top of the other Octotrooper.

"...Did I…?" T3-rry swallowed nervously. "Is he dead?"

Underneath Rinse's body the other Octotrooper wriggled his head free and gasped for air. "Yeah! I think so."

The head Octotrooper grunted. "Alright then. Wiggle out and get back on your platform. We have Inklings to splat."

A frantic nod responded in turn. For a moment he grunted and tried in earnest to escape from the Inkling's body mass. He wriggled and snaked as much as his bizarrely formed body could allow him to no clear escape from the juggernaut on top of him.

"I need a little help here!" He called in terror.

The head Octotrooper rolled his eyes, nodded to the others, who set off mowing over the grass with ink. As they all departed for the other Inklings the head Octotrooper crouched down and offered his tentacle down to his companion. As his tentacle lowered he felt an unfamiliar grip tug on him.

"...No way." His pupils dilated in terror as did his teammate's as he watched the Inkling rise to his face.

"If there's anything to take from this experience…" Rinse growled and rose his face up. With a steady hand he brushed off the fuchsia that chewed at his face. "You're going to need something bigger than that to end me."

"Ship." They cursed with a whimper.

Portic dashed off over hill and yonder. He bit his lips, tried not to look back, and swiveled his head behind him. "Are you still after me?!"

Several blitzes of ink soared past his ears and face and landed in small rain-like puddles to his sides.

"Great! Just checking!" He called back with a grin on his face.

The Inkling leaped to the top of a hill and slid down the back in his blue squid form with a laugh. The Octotrooper followed behind, albeit slower than they would have hoped, and fired wildly into the great beyond as Portic took skips, hops, and jumps among the hills. It was not unlike a duck avoiding the gazes of bloodthirsty hunters.

Circling about the hills, Portic tittered cheerfully, taking each and every blot of ink dashed at him as another opportunity to pop up from the green ridges and taunt the enemy with a well-timed flash of his tongue. "Nice shot! You guys couldn't hit the broadside of a sunfish!"

"Hey!" One of the Octotroopers screamed back. "We aren't all blessed with opposable thumbs!"

They fired again. Through sheer force of anger alone the speed of their ink firing appeared to speed up and transformed into a hasty stream of fuchsia bullets. As the ink bullets sped up Portic yelped and bounded up and down the hills even faster. Soon it became a game of cat-and-mouse between the two forces. Portic continued to leap and bound with his life on the line, his legs spinning about quickly in the air as if he were attempting to sprint on the very oxygen, while the Octotroopers continued to blast away.

"That all you got?!" Portic challenged even as he danced out of the hazardous fire.

Both of the Octotroopers glanced at one another. One of them aimed ahead of where Portic hurried and fired. Portic barely had time to react before he was blindsided by a glob of ink. His balance faltered and his limbs failed him. The Inkling dropped to the ground as if he were a tree chopped down with an axe.

The pinewood-like thud that vibrated out from the hills caused smiles to slink onto the Octotroopers' thick lips. "Nice shot."

Their cannon nozzles turned down to the pastures below and gushed a pathway of ink yet again. The descended and ascended across the large mounds of turf with large grins as their platforms hitched them across the hills in the direction of their would-be victim. The groans of soreness that echoed up into the air only made the Octotroopers speed up.

They eventually managed to lug themselves and their metal carriages up over a short slope and gazed down. "Check it out."

Feebly crawling over towards the still unconscious form of Sumera was a blue squid with drops of fuchsia dripping down its tentacles. Portic dragged himself across the ground with one tentacle while the rest lazily carried themselves.

"Hey, hey, watch this." One of the Octotroopers cackled wickedly and began to run its vehicle towards the squid.

The other smirked. "Oh that'll teach him for sure."

Portic peeped behind him with a shaky head. The enemy continued to advance with no signs of stopping. Finally Portic managed to lift himself by Sumera's arm and flopped down with a groan.

The Octotrooper grinned. "This'll make a great campfire story…"

"Blr-gree." The squid replied in its state of repose.

"...Wha?" The Octotrooper cocked the side of its face over the platform's cannon funnel. "...Last words?"

"I agree." Portic reached underneath Sumera's sleeping form with one of his two larger tentacles.

"Hey, hey!" The Octotrooper re-aimed at Portic. "What are you d-GUUOUG!"

His command fell on deaf ears. It also might have also been due to the bamboo staff planted in his face. The hilt shaped handle of the Bamboozler pushed into his squishy skin as Portic swung with all his might. The Octotrooper was quite literally swept off his feet as the Bamboozler whirled around Portic's torso. The octopus flew off across the hills off into the great beyond.

His friend did not take too kindly to the fact that Portic hit a home-run with his squad-mate. "You squid in the grass!"

"Yeah?" Portic blinked and turned around. "That's me."

The Octotrooper's weapon extended and poised itself to fire. "You coward! You Inklings are always like this- Dishonorably striking us when we least expect-"

His tangent was cut short as well. A smack noise erupted from behind him and the Octotrooper was sent off into the stratosphere after his companion before him. Portic watched and whistled as he blasted off at the speed of light away from the fight.

Portic whirled back with his arms and Bamboozler at the side of his hip. Rinse lowered the gigantic tentacle down to the grass below and nodded despite the eroded skin on his face. "You okay?"

"...I'd be more worried about you!" Portix gestured with an open palm. He slapped both his hands on his hips. "Your face is- How do I put this…"

Rinse shut his left eye and nodded solemnly. "We need to find the others."

"Right..." Portic nodded reluctantly and caressed his chin. "Maybe Ophi...can look at this."

Portic carried himself up to the hill besides Rinse. Rinse crouched down and offered him his shoulder, an offer Portic could not refuse, as with a tall hop he pushed himself off of the hill into the air in his small squid shape and landed with his eyes pointed at the sky and his tentacles lazily strapped over the other Inkling's shoulder. Even though it felt his face was being chewed on by a swarm of miniature piranhas Rinse coped with the pain and continued over the particularly paltry precipices and powered through.

Phish blinked at the unusual scene unfolding. He tapped the inside of his cheek with his tongue and glanced over at Ophi. Her Bamboozler was aimed but Ophi's hazel eyes were fraught with nervousness and unfocused panic. The Octotrooper's expression was a mirror image. He looked squeezed and unsure and his weapon was hardly set to fire as the white funnel cone of his cannon continued to stare down at the grass.

"...None of you are going to shoot?" Phish and the eyes in his sleeping bag stood in the middle frozen yet serene despite their location.

Across the field but a few steps yonder Ophi gulped. "...I might hit you!"

Phish blinked and turned about towards the Octotrooper. "What about you?"

He froze up. "If I know...our leader…" The Octotrooper gulped and aimed yet again. "He's...going to...be here with reinforcements...in n- In no time."

"Ah, Jer'…" Mai's voice cooed disapprovingly from the bag. "Still hasn't grown a spine."

The Octotrooper blinked for a short moment and glanced around. "...Huh?" He manually pivoted his platform around. "...Wait a minute…"

Phish took the time to whirl around back to his Inkling companion and yell. "Quick!"

"Ah!" Ophi clamored and fiddled with her weapon.

"No wait!" Mai's voice hissed back in a panic. "Don't shoot! Tell her not to shoot!"

Phish shook his head in disbelief and aimed back towards Ophi with his eyes. "No wait! Don't shoot! Don't-"

Too late. Ophi had finally explored her weapon and her finger had discovered the trigger. The barrel surged up towards the clouds and a jet of blue fired out. The line of ink vaulted through the air, across the landscape, all the way across and scored a bulls-eye.

"!" Ophi dropped the bamboo staff and clamped her hands over her mouth in horror.

"..." Phish's shoulders sunk.

"...Whoa. Nice shot." Mai blinked and peeked her head out. "Any closer and you would've splatted Jer'."

Blue ink leaked from the Octotrooper's cannon. It wriggled for a while then exploded in a glorious mix of fuchsia and azure ink spray which created a nice puddle of abstract art right on the floor. Without hesitation, "Jer" swiveled his platform around, and promptly bolted from the scene as fast as his platform could carry him. Which turned out to be extraordinarily swift.

"MAAAAAI!" He shouted in an almost ear splitting sob. "Where are you?!"

"...Jeez." Mai shook her head from within her bag. "Drama queen."

"Huh…" Phish heaved a sigh out and turned around. "Thanks Ophi."

Ophi sat on her knees with her hands now limp by her sides. "Y-You're welcome."

Phish nodded back at her reassuringly. Then came the fanfare. "Aw! Guys, you're letting him get away!" The duo turned to their sides where Portic waved back at them.

Except now he looked quite a few feet taller.

Portic waved back at them in his jolly old Inkling skin from atop Rinse's tired shoulder with Sumera sound asleep on the other shoulder. "You almost got him Ophi!"

"...Thanks." Ophi glanced down at her Bamboozler reluctantly as it rolled onto the grass.

"...Hey wait a minute." Portic glared at the Octotrooper as it sailed off into the distance. "All of the other ones moved at a turtle's pace. How is he-"

The Inklings heard a blare. Portic, Rinse, and Phish watched as a jet-stream of ink launched the Octotrooper into the hills and beyond far out into the horizon.

"Okay that's just not fair." Portic groaned and glanced down at his Bamboozler. "Does this thing at least have like turbo-rockets or...something?"

All of a sudden Portic felt himself fall a few feet closer to the ground. He bit his lip and glanced down at his companion. Rinse coughed and groaned with one hand pressed against the grass and the other on his chest.

"Oh shoot." Portic switched into a squid and dismounted his friend. He leaped back up onto the grass and ran towards Ophi with his reformed legs. "Ophelia! I require your assistance, my madame!"

Ophi perked up at the sound of her name. "What?!"

As the others scrambled towards Rinse, Phish could not help but stand and follow the thick trail of violet, and ambled across along the path laid out while Ophi frantically poured a puddle of ink down from her bamboo weapon.

"Clear!" Portic shouted, reached behind Rinse's fatigued head, and dunked him in.

Rinse's face plummeted into the blue puddle. Ripples ran across the thin layer as the other two Inklings watched in horror as-

"Thanks." Rinse coughed as his head rose from the depths of the liquid with all of his features cleanly restored to their normal hardy expression.

Although Portic's countenance grew into that of frantic delight, Ophi shook her head slowly, as she examined his face. "I don't…I honestly didn't expect that to work."

In the background Phish stood atop a short knoll and examined the path. He and Mai looked upon the small path for a second and glanced at each other.

"...Friend of yours?" Phish spoke up after a long while.

"Jeremiah." Mai commented and shook her head with a faint smile barely visible through the shadows of the bag. "We hung out a lot. Before this war."

"So if I see him again…" Phish sunk to his knees. "I'm going to have to convince the others to not shoot at that one Octotrooper."

"..." Mai bit her lip. "Yeah I'd...I'd like that."

"When did this all get so bizarre?" He complained up to the sky. "Is this what I get?! Huh?"

"Hey, hey, calm it." Mai snapped up to him. "Phish, look at me."

Phish glared down at Mai with a miffed expression. "What…?"

"Am I going to have to give you another pep-talk?" Mai asked earnestly with her violet eyes glaring back at Phish.

"...No." Phish muttered and covered his face with his palm. "It's just-"

"Good, because I didn't want to anyways." Mai yawned and retreated back into the bag.

Phish stared down at the bedroll opening and heaved out a sigh hotly. "You're a real pal."

"Buck up Phish." Mai spoke up at him. "Again, war, trying to survive here."

"I'm getting lectured by the girl taking refuge in a sleeping bag." Phish pointed out and sighed. "Alright. Sorry. Just going to let you sleep."

"That's why you're my friend." He heard the Octoling chime back at him.

"Yeah." Phish slid down the hill on his now green slip-ons. "I can assure you the feeling's completely mutual."

"Mm…" He felt her rustle deeper into the bag. "Glad to hear it."

Phish shook his head and walked off away from the trail of ink. His gaze shifted down to a familiar, albeit wretched, sight in front of him. The corpse of the Inkling girl from earlier continued to lay on the ground without a sound. For one reason or another, Phish could only sigh, and set himself and his occupied sleeping bag next to her and stared down at the grass as the light began to fade.

"...gone?" A voice called out.

"Speak up Mai. I can't hear you." Phish shook his head.

Mai cleared her throat. "Uh...wasn't me."

Phish arched an eyebrow for a second. The voice called up again. "Pardon me, I asked, 'are they gone'?"

His eyes went wide as he stared across at the corpse. "...No way."

"They aren't? Better go back to playing dead, I suppose." The "corpse" replied oddly gleefully.

Phish reached over and shook her shoulder. All of a sudden the fallen arms once limp sprung to life and gripped his appendage. He yelped and attempted to pull his arm away only to drag up a small, yellow squid with orange eyes, dried fuchsia ink on her small head.

"Oh!" She cried out in surprise. Her shorter tentacles wiggled happily. "Many apologies friend! Did you think I had actually gone?"

Phish, and Mai's hidden eyes, nodded at the peculiar squid.

The squid took the form of a girl garbed in uniform with several stains on her army clothes. With her free left hand, she reached into her shorts, retrieved a small rag, and wiped off her battle damage with her right hand still caught in between Phish's grip. "Thank you for drawing their attention away! Say, do you happen to have any more delectable fish?"

"...I...uh…" Phish bit his lip and released her arm.

The other Inkling tilted her head at his perplexed look. "Ah! Of course! How rude of me. Apologies many more, for I've, uh, I was shot a few times in the back today." She cleared her throat and gazed back up. "Let me start over. My name is Cherida! Pleased to have made your acquaintance!"

She offered her hand for Phish to shake. It was coated in grime. He shook, albeit reluctantly, and continued to stare at her.

"...What seems to be the conundrum my compadre?" She asked with a tilt of her head. "Do I have oil on my noggin again?"

"Phish...I thought you were dead." Phish stated explicitly.

"Ah, well, I've been practicing." Cherida shrugged her shoulders and smiled back up at Phish. "But hold the presses. You said fish? Where?"

A faint snicker emanated from Phish's sleeping bag. He frowned and sighed. "Like I said, bizarre." Phish stood up and sighed. "But before we do all of that...what do you know about the western front?"

Cherida took a moment, pursed her lips, and glanced up at them. "The front? Oh. It was smashed to smithereens."

AN: Hoo doggie am I in hot water. Let's see, I gotta manage this story...then the others...let's see. Carry the three…factor in holidays...the rate of which I'm motivated...

Well I hope you haven't been waiting too long! Or at all really. You guys have work right?

Even if you don't have anything to do I'd like to thank you for reading again. This is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off again on a quest of nutrition. Mostly fast food.