It was freezing cold outside. It would hardly have been worth mentioning if it wasn't to Otabek's benefit. He was tired. Dead tired. It was just that he couldn't allow himself to be, not now. He didn't even allow himself to speculate on what could have happened to Yuri that the blonde wrote him in the middle of the night, and wrote him like that. It hadn't been a text Yuri would usually send him. It sounded so urgent and it choked Otabek.

As soon as he had arrived at the hotel he had texted back. I am here. The wording sounded so metaphoric, so utterly meaningful, but he couldn't give the thought much attention. All he could do was try and calm down, not to panic. Getting out of the car helped him keeping his head cool literally and figuratively.

Only some minutes later - minutes he had spent walking up and down the sidewalk next to the car - he came to think that Yuri might not be able to read his reply. Maybe something had happened to him after sending his request, something horrible that made it impossible for him to check his phone, to leave the hotel. Jessenin could have done anything to him, things that Otabek forbid himself to imagine. But the guy had acted so openly even when Orlov had been around, he wasn't the type to be gentle after groping for sure. Maybe he had-

With a hissed "Fuck" Otabek hurried over to the entrance door. It was hard to appear composed now when on the inside he was so close to a panic attack. He couldn't even say for himself if he managed.

The luxurious lobby of the Ritz-Carlton was empty except the man behind the reception desk who looked up when Otabek entered alongside a gust of cold air. It must look pretty dramatic but Otabek couldn't spare a thought.

"I am here to pick up Mr Jessenin's guest", he growled as he approached the desk and the expression on the receptionist's face became a relaxed one. Maybe he had expected Otabek to attack him or something. Now he gave him a calm smile that looked almost ironic to Otabek considering his roaring emotions.

"Oh, good, please proceed. He told me to send you to the room when he called earlier." He gestured to the elevator on the left. "It's the suite."

Otabek huffed and turned to the elevator. His teeth grit painfully he watched the display showing decreasing numbers when he had pressed the button there. Fitting the rest of what Otabek had seen of the hotel up to now even the sound the elevator made was luxurious: A gentle little ping that seemed to make fun of him.

The suite Jessenin was accommodated in had its own elevator button. From the mirrors inside the elevator stared someone back at him he hardly recognized: His skin was gray as ash, his eyes dull. He looked almost as bad as he felt. Avoiding his own miserable reflection he stared at the display, the numbers now rising. The weight of the MP-443 sitting in the holster pressed into his ribs as if to remind him to breathe evenly. Whatever would await him in there he'd stay calm and focused. He'd do what was necessary, whatever it was to keep Yuri safe. The closer the elevator came to the suite the less his hands trembled.

The elevator stopped. Another low ring and the doors slid open quietly. The light sprung to life and revealed a relatively plain space leading to the dark wooden door of the suite itself. Otabek banged his knuckles against the dark wood forcefully. It was meant as a threat and he held his right arm toward the left so that in case he needed it he could pull the gun from the holster immediately. And shoot.

When the door opened the first thing he noticed was the music playing in the background - it sent chills down his spine. Beethoven's symphony number Nine, second movement was the last thing he had awaited. It was unmistakably a message, but Otabek didn't understand it.

The person who had opened the door was no other than Jessenin himself and in a state of undress that nothing less than disgusted Otabek. His bloated body dressed in nothing but silk boxers gave Otabek a hard time not grimacing. The way he smiled at Otabek, having checked on him through the peephole already without a doubt, could only be described as joyful. That could either mean that nothing bad had happened - or that something terrible had happened. Otabek tensed.

"Ah, you're here to pick up sweet Katyusha, aren't you?" The violins in the background sounded shrill to Otabek's ears. "Come, I'll tell him you're here." He turned and walked away into the suite.

Otabek followed him, maintaining a certain distance. From the look on his face Otabek doubted that Jessenin would fight him, but he didn't want to take a risk and be disarmed because he was too close to avoid it.

Boris had not lied; The suite was indeed all marble and gold, the white and shimmering surfaces almost blinding Otabek. He felt like he didn't belong in this place being dark and gloomy himself, and he was glad once he was out of here again.

Yuri did fit into the scenery though.

His heart skipped a beat when he spotted the blonde. He was draped over an extravagant seat, white velvet decorated with gold ornaments making it look more like a throne than like anything else. The Russian Fairy's long legs hung over one of the armrests, the seam of his black dress riding so high it showed the creamy white skin of his thighs. His braid was a little disheveled but it looked even more beautiful than before. The expression on his face was a mixture of exhaustion and annoyance, but Otabek could see relief there as well. And he could relate to the feeling; Yuri seemed well, no injuries were visible and he released a breath he had not noticed he had been holding.

"There you are", Yuri said, cocking an eyebrow and got up from the chair with the grace of a cat. He came over, the glass heels clicking on the wooden floor. "I'm tired, take me home."

Otabek huffed a "As you wish" and went to open the door for Yuri.

The blonde fell behind and stood when he was about to pass by Jessenin. "Goodnight", he breathed with a lewd smile and didn't resist when the man eagerly bent forward and placed a kiss on Yuri's lips.

The view made Otabek's skin crawl and he wanted to look away and not see how Jessenin pressed his tongue in Yuri's mouth, but he had to keep an eye on his friend. He couldn't let Jessenin take advantage like earlier tonight when he had touched Yuri making the boy flinch in discomfort. This time he could interfere once he had the slightest feeling that Yuri didn't consent. A word would be enough to remind Jessenin of his presence but he wouldn't hesitate to take more drastic measures if there was an opportunity that required them. But for now he had to keep looking and try to fight back the red in the corners of his eyes.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity to Otabek, Jessenin backed off and smiled blissfully. "Goodnight my beautiful Katyusha", he said. "Next time let's convince your Daddy to stay the night with us."

Yuri chuckled in his high voice that told Otabek it was an act but seemed to sound appealing enough to anyone else. "Gladly, Uncle Vlad", he gave back with a wink and placed a small peck on Jessenin's mouth, then turned and walked up to Otabek.

As soon as Jessenin couldn't see it anymore his flirtatious smile vanished into an expression that almost made Otabek smirk because it was so familiar in its displeasure. Still, the negative feeling in his chest outweighed the relief by far.

He pressed the elevator button when the door to the suite had fallen shut and the metal doors slid open immediately. He let Yuri get in first, then entered himself. The blonde had pressed the button for the ground level already and the doors drifted shut. The elevator hadn't even started moving yet when Yuri groaned and slumped his shoulders.

"For fuck's sake", he pressed through grit teeth and Otabek watched in confusion as Yuri bent forward, but understood a second later. Yuri plucked the glass shoes from his feet and tossed them on the floor carelessly, one after the other. "That jerk made me wear those fucking shoes all damn night like they're Converse", he moaned and straightened, flexing his feet by tiptoeing and moving the ankles in circling motions first left then right. "If I had known he doesn't even let me undress I would have worn sneakers and my fucking onesie!"

Otabek chuckled lowly. "You own a onesie?"

Yuri shot his a glance. "Of course I do. A white tiger onesie."

Now Otabek couldn't help but grin. "Of course you do..." It faded away quickly though. "Listen, Yuri-"

"No!", the blonde interrupted him with a hiss. He leaned closer, his eyes sparkling dangerously. "Don't call me that", he added in a whisper. Looking around furtively he appeared a little paranoid. "Not here..."

Otabek hunched his shoulders a little. Yuri was right. It was dangerous to be that thoughtless, even when it seemed secure here. He couldn't know if the elevator had cameras, if someone recorded sound or video footage of what happened in here. He bit his lip and nodded shortly.

"Katyusha", he said and it felt incredibly wrong but the blonde seemed relaxed so he went on: "Are you okay? I was worried when I received your request."

With a tilt of his head Yuri smiled. "Sure, no need to worry." Otabek had a feeling that wasn't the whole story, but he didn't probe. For Yuri the talking was over. Bending over with a groan he picked up his shoes, letting them hang from index and middle finger like bells in a clock tower, swaying lightly.

When the elevator stopped down at the lobby and the doors opened again Yuri just walked out of it bare feet. Otabek followed him frowning.

"Are you not going to wear those to walk over to the car?", he asked irritated.

Yuri looked over his shoulder with a pout. "I'll never wear those uncomfortable pieces of shit ever again, thank you very much. I'd rather walk all the way home on fucking razor blades."

A little perplexed Otabek nodded. "As you wish." It only took a split second for him to come up with something. Throwing a glance over to the receptionist he noticed that the man pretended to be busy with the computer on the counter but he was doubtlessly aware of them. Then again Otabek didn't give a shit about what the man thought, so he accelerated his steps until he was besides Yuri again. With a swift motion he lifted the blonde up in his arms, earning him a surprised yelp from Yuri.

"What the fuck!", the blonde gasped and automatically twined his thin arms around Otabek's shoulders.

"Can't afford to let you catch a cold because you're too sore for your shoes", he said, saving a shrug only because he didn't want to scare Yuri who clung to him so thoroughly, then went to take his precious freight to the car.

The heels of the Cinderella shoes pressed against his back but he hardly noticed. Feeling Yuri in his arms again, so close, so secure, was incredibly distracting. It felt good, satisfying even. Yuri was way too light. He felt fragile, like he was made of glass as well. But Otabek was glad he could hold Yuri like that, carry him through the door like a bride, out there into the cold that he would protect him against. Out there in the cold where no one else was, only him and Yuri.

"You're a weirdo", Yuri chuckled close to his neck. It made Otabek smile. He never wanted to let go of him.

Eventually he did, unlocking the car and placing Yuri on the passenger seat carefully. He wanted to back away but found Yuri's arms locked around his neck. They made him unable to move, so he remained bent over until a second later Yuri hugged him even closer.

"Thank you", he whispered, pressing his face into the crook of Otabek's neck, then let go of him with a laugh. "There are spare shoes in the trunk, could you go fetch them for me? It's really fucking cold out here."

Otabek obeyed. Indeed he found a pair of red sneakers with hook and loop fasteners and he took them over to Yuri, watched him get into the shoes.

"Don't look at me like that", the blonde smirked. "I know that looks like shit with the dress."

This time Otabek shrugged. "It's kind of cute actually", he heard his voice say. Yuri looked up at him and he felt his cheeks reddening.

Yuri blushed, too. "Whatever… Can you drive me home now or not?"

Otabek did. The silence between them was meaningful, like they both knew there were things that needed to be said but both were not sure if they were happy to say them.

In the end it took Otabek until he parked the Audi in the car park back at Yuri's place again and shut the engine to come to his senses. Yuri didn't move to get out of the car either, like he awaited some sort of interrogation.

"I was worried", Otabek said with a sigh.

"You said that before", Yuri stated. It seemed that he hoped to finish the conversation here again, so Otabek hurried to say:

"I know! I know… And you say there's no need to worry, but…" He sighed again, heavier than before. "I can't help it. I just can not imagine that this is okay for you. That tonight was okay for you. I just… am worried..."

Yuri frowned. "I understand", he replied. "But you see, there's nothing he could have done to me. Nothing that you have to worry about, really. You know I've been through shit. Compared to what I have done before, compared to what I was forced to do before this was nothing. It must sound abominable to you, but this is what I do now. I'm a professional. I'm used to things and I don't feel anything when I do my work."

"Really?", Otabek objected. "But I saw how he touched you in front of the restaurant. And maybe no one else noticed, but I saw that you didn't like it."

Yuri laughed his low, hoarse laugh. "You know me too well. Still-" He shrugged, smiling. "It's okay. There's nothing you should wreck your brain about. I'm fine, Otabek."

He couldn't believe it. He wanted and try because it would be so much easier, but he just couldn't.

"It's not okay", he murmured, lowering his look onto his hands on his knees. He felt so insecure suddenly. Was he too sensitive? Was he squeamish? "I don't think you should do tha-"

"But this is what I do!", Yuri interrupted him suddenly. Looking up Otabek found that somehow his words had made Yuri angry at him. He didn't see why, he was only so worried after all, but Yuri kept snapping. "It's my job, this is what I am supposed to do! I'm a prostitute, Otabek! A whore! I live so people can fuck me and make me sit and suck their ugly little dicks all night and don't let me take those motherfucking shoes off! This is what I am here for, this is my function. If Anatolij send me to his friend's room I go there. If Vladislav wants me to give head all night that's what I do. If he wants me to swallow his disgusting cum and smile doing so that's what I do. If he wants me to eat him out and then kiss me so he can taste himself that's what I fucking do!" He hunched his shoulders, then in a hushed voice added: "And you shouldn't fucking worry about me so much. It's freaking me out. I don't even know why you do that all the time."

Otabek looked at him for a moment. The pain he felt inside was nothing compared to the pain in Yuri's eyes. "Because you mean a lot to me", he finally said, making Yuri look up at him and bite his lip. "And I still think you should not do that. You don't live so people can do that to you. You're not supposed to do that. You shouldn't."

"I know..."

The statement held so much finality. Otabek swallowed. But before he could think of something to say or to do Yuri smiled at him apologetically.

"I know. But I have to." When he reached out to take Otabek's hand the touch was cold and somehow vague. "And it hurts to see you worry about me so much. It's the worst to see you suffer and to see you so angry and helpless all the time, but I have to do that. I wish you could accept that, or get used to it, but, you know... " His thumb stroked over the back of Otabek's hand. "To be honest it's kinda nice that you worry so much for me. Maybe that's selfish but I feel so good when you say that you care about me and that you are there for me and that… that I mean a lot to you. It's… soothing." He exhaled shakily, his thumb still running over Otabek's hand. "And just so you know, you mean a lot to me, too. Always have. That's why I'm so happy that you are with me although I'd like to kick you in the balls for not making a run while you still can."

"I'll stay."

"I fucking know!" He slapped Otabek's shoulder with his right hand and laughed. His voice sounding like he was about to cry. "I know you'll stay, and you know what? I want you to stay, for fuck's sake. I want you to stay with me and keep an eye on me and worry the fuck about me when Anatolij gives me away like a box of chocolates as a bonus payment for some fucking real estate that he doesn't even know yet what to do with. I want you to stay and pick me up whenever I text you and look at me with your stupid beautiful eyes and make me feel bad and dirty and disgusting because I did my job. I want you to make me angry at you and at myself and at this entire goddamn world that brought us here and makes me call you Erasyl like the fucking Noble Hero you are. I want you to- I want..." He shook his head. His eyes shimmered with tears. So bright and so green.

"Me too", he whispered. "I want this. And more." So much more.

The thumb on Otabek's skin had stopped and Yuri held him by the hand, just like that. It was a lot for Otabek. But not nearly enough. However it was as much as he would get. He knew it for sure. Yuri was just as scared as he was himself.

"We'll make it happen", he said, not specifying what exactly he meant. He didn't know.

But Yuri nodded. "I'm so sorry", he whispered, looking at both their hands. "I'm so… tired."

"It's okay", Otabek said with a smile that was meant encouraging but felt so fake that Yuri would have noticed too for sure if he'd look up. "It's late. You should go upstairs and sleep."

Yuri nodded slowly, then withdrew his hand. "You're right." He sighed and rubbed his eyes. If because he was tired or in order to get rid of the tears Otabek couldn't say. "Those exhausting discussions in the car must stop", he eventually said, sat straight and yawned, then added: "I'll see if I can bunk off soon and come over to your place if it's okay."

"Please."

Yuri smiled and raised his hand, cupping Otabek's cheek gently. "Do me a favor and get some sleep. You look horrible."

With a blush he nodded. "I see what I can do."

For a moment Yuri scrutinized him, then pulled his hand away. "Good night, Otabek."

(It's how Yuri always ends their skype calls: "Good night, Otabek", he says in his low, deep voice when the sky over the Kazakh mountains have turned from black to a soft blue already but the stars are still glittering in the distance.)

He watched Yuri getting out of the car and head over to the metal door. The blonde disappeared without a look back.

He was Katyusha out there. There was only one place where he was still Yuri: with Otabek.