Iron Widow Origins Chapter 2 - Save Myself, a Captain America + Avengers Crossover fanfic

I gave all my oxygen to people that could breathe, I gave away my money and now we don't even speak, I drove miles and miles but would you do the same for me, Oh, honestly? Offered up my shoulder just for you to cry upon, gave you constant shelter and a bed to keep you warm, They gave me the heartache and in return I gave a song, it goes on and on,

Life can get you down so I just numb the way it feels, I drown it with a drink and out of date prescription pills, And all the ones that love me, they just left me on the shelf, no farewell, so before I save someone else, I've got to save myself,

I gave you all my energy and I took away your pain, 'cause human beings are destined to radiate or drain, what line do we stand upon cause from here it looks the same? And only scars remain,

But if I don't then I'll go back to where I'm rescuing a stranger, Just because they needed saving, just like that, Oh I'm here again, between the devil and the danger, but I guess it's just my nature,

My dad was wrong, 'cause I'm not like my mum, 'cause she'd just smile and I'm complaining in a song, but it helps, So before I save someone else, I've got to save myself,

Life can get you down so I just numb the way it feels, or drown it with a drink and out of date prescription pills, And all the ones that love me, they just left me on the shelf, no farewell, so before I save someone else, I've got to save myself, And before I blame someone else, I've got to save myself, And before I love someone else, I've got to love myself

-Save Myself, Ed Sheeran

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As he stands at the door to the gym, Tony can't help but watch the poise and grace Natasha holds. The music filtering in through the speakers is a strange mix of fast and slow. He knows that Natasha dances, that she learned ballet as a young girl, but he never figured her for a contemporary dancer. The past few weeks have not been good for him. He's been drinking too much, sleeping too little, and falling back into bad habits. Tony is conscious of his need to help others, his need to prove something, to make up for the bad his name and his company have done. And he knows that his reasons are not exactly healthy reasons. But then, who could ever say that flying around in a metal suit and busting bad guys was a healthy way to live?

Tony knows that Natasha knows he's there when her eyes catch his in the mirror on the far wall. She doesn't stop her dance, but it brings him out of his introspective thoughts. Tony recognizes the ballet steps incorporated into her routine; not the correct terminology, but the moves themselves. She lifts onto her toes and spins before leaning forward, her right leg extended behind her and into the air. Her ponytail almost grazes the floor and then she is straightening once more, only to go to her knees.

The music ends and she lays on the floor for a moment, letting her breathing slow. In a move that looks effortless, like everything she does, she rolls over and to her feet. Her face is completely free of makeup and he realizes that he's never seen her this bare. There's a certain strangeness to it, a vulnerability that he didn't think her capable of.

"Is there something you wanted to talk about?" She asks him as she grabs a towel from the bar on the wall and wipes her face, then stomach.

"I have a press conference tomorrow. And I don't want you to start thinking like Wanda did. About being a prisoner. But-" Tony honestly isn't sure how to phrase the question he wants to ask her.

"You want me to stay at the compound." Natasha finishes for him.

"I know you can handle yourself. That's never been a question." He tells her immediately.

"Tony, listen, I'm not a child." He opens his mouth but she only raises her brow and he closes it again, recognizing that look. "I understand the importance of public opinion and laying low. So, if you say you need me to stay here while you're gone, I understand."

He sighs lightly, and wonders to himself why everyone couldn't be this easy to deal with.

"But, Tony, I wanted to talk to you. About everything that's happened." Natasha sounding hesitant wasn't something that he had ever heard. Hearing it now was disconcerting.

"There's nothing to talk about." He quickly tries to brush it off, he really hates talking about feelings.

"Tony, I'm sorry." She blurts out, her concern bright in her eyes. "I never meant to hurt you."

With another sigh, Tony takes a moment and just stares at the floor.

"I'm not gonna lie. It did hurt." He finally says, raising his head to look at her. He wants her to see the sincerity in his own eyes. "But you came back. You're here now. And, I even understand why you did it. Let's just try to move forward."

Natasha nods her head slowly and Tony finds himself watching her ponytail bounce slightly with the movement. Shaking his head, he looks around the room before looking back at Natasha.

"How do you feel about a vacation?" He asks with his usual disregard for thinking things through. "I was thinking about how stressful everything has been, and I have a place in the Bahamas."

"I'm pretty sure they don't want me there, either." She replies wryly. "And what about Iron Man? Saving the world?"

"You're a master of disguise. Disguise yourself. Come on, it's the tropics. Beaches, shopping, fun, all that jazz. And I think that Iron Man can use a break. It's not like anybody wants to see him flying the skies right now."

"I'll think about it." She tells him with a hint of a smile. He feels like it might be a win. Like maybe they're getting somewhere and they can move past all of the lies and deceit between them since the first second they'd met. He knows that he can really use somebody in his corner after losing almost everyone he'd thought had actually cared about him. He'd thought they'd actually been his friends. Now, he realizes his former teammates barely knew him.

"Okay. I'll let you think about it. Just so you know, we would only be gone for a couple weeks. Doctor Foster and her assistant are supposed to be here next month and I want to be ready for them. Their files have already been sent to your email."

With a light-hearted wink, Tony turns away from Natasha's slightly surprised look. Yeah. Maybe they were getting somewhere.