Trigger Warning: Non-Con Sex/Rape discussed

Saint Mary's Medical Center

Lincoln, Nebraska

Sam traced the path of the tubes with his eyes from Rachel's tiny hand to the IV pole next to her hospital bed for likely the hundredth time. It had been seven hours since Rachel was admitted to the hospital, and he hadn't left her side.

When they first arrived, Rachel became hysterical. No one knew what set her off, but the hospital administered a low dose sedative as Sam held her, enough medication for her petite body to become relaxed, and inducing a deep sleep she likely needed anyway.

He had watched them clean her, argued with every nurse and doctor who came into her room that he wasn't leaving, and kept hold of her hand, gently stroking the warm skin around the needles embedded into her veins. They had given her a course of antibiotics and fluids, taking her vitals every hour. He stayed through every exam, and even went with her while she was taken for CAT scans.

Sam would not be moved. His protective nature grew into a foreboding monster, a rabid guard dog waiting to attack anyone at any given second. He wouldn't be able to rest until she was home, until he knew she was safe. Even then, he knew true rest would elude him for a long time. Though Arioch was dead, he feared there was another grigori waiting to strike, or something else that would threaten to take her from him again. And he would die before he let that happen.

Dean gave a gentle knock on the door. "It's me, Sammy." Sam met his eyes as he peered in. "She still sleeping?" Sam nodded. "I got you coffee." Dean moved to his brother's side, resting the tall to-go cup on the table next to him. With concern, he examined Sam's eyes. They were bloodshot, tired, puffy. "Let me take over," Dean urged, resting his hand on Sam's shoulder. "Get some rest."

Sam shook his head. "I'm waiting for the test results." Deep down, he knew he would need to be relieved of his position eventually, and he more than trusted Dean to protect her, but he wouldn't leave until he knew Rachel's entire medical truth.

Arioch's taunting replayed over and over in his mind, the angel's suggestive words and tones making his blood boil, and his stomach sick. If Arioch raped her, Rachel would likely be pregnant with a nephilim. And if she was, there was no known way to abort one, or a way she would survive labor. She might not be pregnant, though—they'd have to wait at least six weeks from now to find out. For now, he could know if there were indicators of rape found after her exam. He didn't really want to know the truth, but at the same time, he couldn't rest until the results came.

All he could think about was what she would do if she was pregnant. He had no doubt in his mind that he would stay with her and look for every possible way to abort the child or help her survive labor. She was his. It didn't matter if she was carrying a nephilim. But, would she want to keep the baby? Would she want it gone? Would it be evil? Or like Jack? If she died, would he raise it as his own?

On top of her physical trauma, Sam knew Rachel had been deeply scarred emotionally. It killed him when she feared him. Arioch had tried to use her affection for him against her, to the point of pure terror and fear. Rachel wasn't fully back to him—he could tell that from their car ride together. She was guarding part of herself, as if she were too scared to fully trust him. He couldn't blame her, but it still hurt. Before, she had trust issues as it was. Now, she was likely a mess in her mind.

Sam's eyes flicked up from staring at Rachel's bruised face to the knock on the door. "It's Doctor Halloway," the voice said. Sam had instructed everyone to announce their presence before coming in. He watched carefully as the doctor slipped into the room, shutting the door behind himself. "Mister Winchester," he said gently, "we have the results of Rachel's exam." Sam watched in tense silence, his fingers still running over Rachel's hand as she slept. "Perhaps I should wait until she is awake."

"Tell me now," Sam demanded in a firm, but quiet tone.

Doctor Halloway cleared his throat. "It appears that during her kidnapping, Rachel sustained quite a bit of internal and external vaginal damage, such as bruising and tearing, consistent with rape."

Sam's heart stopped, his stomach bottoming out. He gritted his teeth together, unaware of Dean's hand coming to rest on his shoulder.

"We recovered a semen sample," the doctor continued, "and the DNA is currently being evaluated." He paused. "We are going to put her under once the sedative has worn off and stitch what we can, so Rachel will need strict bed rest for the next week or so."

Sam's knee bounced restlessly as he listened, his breath quickening. His free hand found his face, covering his mouth as he stared blankly at the white linens Rachel slept on.

"Once Rachel wakes, we will give her the option to take a birth prevention medication that has a high rate of success in terminating unwanted pregnancies. Regardless of what she chooses, she has the choice to utilize the hospital's psychology services, including support groups for PTSD, and sexual assault victims." The doctor examined Sam. "I'm terribly sorry this has happened to her, Mister Winchester."

Sam looked up at him, keeping his tears at bay. "Thank you," he managed.

"Of course. As her overseeing doctor, I will be relating the information to her directly as well. Just so we can get her into surgery as soon as possible, please let the nursing staff know when she wakes."

Sam gave the doctor a small nod, watching as he slipped quietly out of the room. His nostrils flared as he processed the news. Arioch had raped her. He had violated her, using his face to do it. No wonder she had feared him so much.

Tears rolled down his cheeks, his grip tightening around Rachel's hand. She was likely pregnant. All the drugs in the world wouldn't kill a nephilim. She would carry the bastard's child, just waiting to die if they couldn't find a way for her to live.

"Shit," Dean murmured, his fingers tightening around Sam's shoulder. "I'm sorry, Sam …" He paused, sighing. There was nothing he could say, nothing he could do to change things. The damage was clearly done.

"Any way you look at it, she dies," Sam said, fixing his eyes on Rachel. "If we try to kill the baby, she could die. If she carries it to term, she dies."

"Maybe she's not pregnant."

"I highly doubt a Watcher wouldn't be able to impregnate a woman, if that's fifty percent of their life purpose."

They were silent for a moment. "We will find a way to keep her safe," Dean resolved with a firm tone. "I swear it to you."

Both brothers froze as Rachel stirred, her eyes slowly blinking open, fixing on Sam. "Sam," she whispered as he stood, hovering over her.

Sam pressed his lips onto hers in a feather light kiss. "How are you feeling?" he asked, moving her hair away from her face.

"Tired," she replied. Her brow wrinkled as she looked into Sam's eyes. "Did they give me a sleeping pill or something?"

"Or something," Sam murmured, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"Why?"

"You were … You kinda freaked out. They had to sedate you to start treatments."

She looked down sheepishly. "Oh." Catching his creased expression, she looked into his eyes. "What's wrong?"

He forced a small smile. "Nothing. I'm just … I'm just glad you're okay."

"No," she argued. "You're hiding something." She looked to Dean, who immediately looked away. "Dean?" Rachel turned back to Sam. "Sam. Tell me."

"Dean, could you give us a minute?" Sam asked, keeping his eyes on Rachel's.

With a nod, Dean slipped out of the room, the door clicking shut behind him. Rachel watched Sam's jaw tick. Her heart sped up, the change reflected in her monitor she was attached to. "Sam. Please."

He stroked her face, minding the bruises around her chin and jaw. "The doctors examined you." Sam drew in a deep breath through his nose. "You … You were raped." A tear rolled down his cheek. "They found semen on you." Rachel quivered. Sam cupped her cheeks as he cried, wiping her stray tear. "I'm so sorry, baby. I failed you."

Rachel was quiet for a long moment, expressionless. "I had been hoping it was all in my mind," she finally said. She looked into Sam's eyes, brow wrinkled. "But Sam, you didn't fail me. This isn't your fault."

"It is."

"How could it be?"

"I …" He growled, his breath quickening. "I brought you near me. I was selfish. I wanted you so much, and I sealed your fate for you."

"You didn't—"

"It's a curse, Rachel," he interrupted. "The very few people I've dared to care about end up hurt or dead."

Rachel pressed her index finger over Sam's mouth. "This is not your fault," she said firmly.

"Sure as hell feels like it."

"It isn't," she insisted. She ran her fingers over his face to wipe his tears, brushing his hair from his brow. "Sam, do you know if I am …?"

He shook his head. "Nephilim gestation is shorter by three months, but there's still no way to know right now."

She nodded, paling as she processed the information. Sam leaned in closer, his nose brushing hers as he held her head. "Baby girl. You listen to me. There are two things you should never forget." His breath flowed over her, warm and sweet. "One, I love you. You're mine, and I'm not leaving you. And two, I'll do everything I can to keep you safe."

" … You love me?" she whispered.

Sam swallowed, not realizing it was the first time she heard it. He had said it before he stabbed her, but she didn't hear him. He nodded, pulling back just enough to look into her eyes. "I love you. Like crazy." He offered her a small smile, relieved when she gave him one back.

"I love you too," she said, stroking his stubbled cheek. She accepted Sam's kiss, immediately knowing it was truly him. She could feel his heart in the way he held her, and see it in the way he smiled.

"No matter what," Sam reminded her when they separated, "you're mine. And nothing changes that." Rachel nodded, leaning into his touch as his thumbs ran over her face.

"Will it be evil, if I am pregnant?"

"There's no way to know. It might. It might not."

"Will I die in labor?"

Sam paused, wetting his lips. "I'm going to find a way to keep you safe." He pressed a kiss on her forehead, taking her hand into his. "We are in this together, okay?"

"Okay," she managed.

"They have to stitch you, baby girl," he said quietly, struggling with the words. "I'll be right there when you wake up, okay?" She nodded, clinging to his hand.

Sam turned to the knock on the door. "It's Doctor Halloway." The doctor entered the room quietly, his eyes falling on Rachel. "I'm going to guess by the look on your face that your boyfriend told you the results." She nodded. Doctor Halloway sighed. "I'm terribly sorry, Rachel. We're going to need to do surgery to repair some of the damage. We also would like to give you the option to take a preventative medication in the event of unwanted pregnancy."

"Okay," Rachel replied softly. She tightened around Sam's hand. "Can Sam come?"

Doctor Halloway shook his head. "I'm afraid not. It won't take long, though."

The remainder of the nursing staff entered the room, ready to wheel her to surgery. Sam turned back to Rachel, cupping her cheek with his free hand as the other held hers. "I'll see you when you get up, okay?" He kissed her, holding back the soft moan in his throat from the pleasure of her taste and the pain of seeing her as she was. Pressing a kiss to her forehead, Sam watched them wheel Rachel away, his hand running over his face as Dean came back into the room. He was painfully still and silent as his brother approached. "How, Dean?" he whispered. "How am I going to see her through this?"

Dean blinked hard, staring at the direction Sam did. "No matter what happens, just love her," he concluded with a small nod. "Just keep loving her."