I don't know if you were looking at me or not, you probably smile like that all the time, and I don't mean to bother you but I couldn't just walk by, and not say, "Hi",
And I know your name, 'cause everybody in here knows your name, and you're not looking for anything right now, so I don't wanna come on strong, don't get me wrong, your eyes are so intimidating, my heart is pounding but, it's just a conversation, no, girl I'm not wasted, you don't know me, I don't know you but I want to,
I don't wanna steal your freedom, I don't wanna change your mind, I don't have to make you love me, I just wanna take your time,
I don't wanna wreck your Friday, I ain't gonna waste my lines, I don't have to take your heart, I just wanna take your time,
And I know it starts with "Hello", and the next thing you know you're trying to be nice, and some guy's getting too close, trying to pick you up, trying to get you drunk, and I'm sure one of your friends is about to come over here, 'cause she's supposed to save you from random guys, that talk too much and wanna stay too long, it's the same old song and dance but I think you know it well,
You could've rolled your eyes, told me to go to hell, could've walked away, but you're still here, and I'm still here, come on let's see where it goes,
I don't wanna steal your freedom, I don't wanna change your mind, I don't have to make you love me, I just wanna take your time,
I don't have to meet your mother, We don't have to cross that line, I don't wanna steal your covers, I just wanna take your time,
I don't wanna go home with you, I just wanna be alone with you,
I don't wanna steal your freedom, I don't wanna change your mind, I don't have to make you love me, I just wanna take your time,
I don't wanna blow your phone up, I just wanna blow your mind, I don't have to take your heart, I just wanna take your time,
No, I ain't gotta call you baby, and I ain't gotta call you mine, I don't have to take your heart, I just wanna take your time
Take Your Time – Sam Hunt
Natasha has been waiting on Tony to mention the fact that he's found her in his bed more nights than not in the week they've been on the island. She is always gone before he wakes for the day, but sometimes in the middle of the night he will wake up and stroke a hand along her back, or her hip. Sometimes he runs his fingers through her hair. She pretends to sleep every time, not knowing if she's scared that he'll pretend it didn't happen or if she's scared he'll force her to acknowledge that it did. Still, he hasn't mentioned it.
Every morning, they'll get ready for the day in their separate rooms, showering and dressing. Whoever makes it to the kitchen first is the one who starts breakfast. It's always something different. Fruits, toast, eggs, cereals, yogurts, all sorts of things. She has never tried such a variation of foods in such a short amount of time.
They always have coffee, iced because the island is always hot. And then they eat outside, enjoying the waves and the sounds of birds waking up. Natasha is not a stranger to routine. She grew up with a routine, Shield had a routine, and missions have routines. She's not surprised that the routine they've fell into is one of randomness. But she likes it. She enjoys the domesticity that both of them refuse to point out.
Some days, they lounge around all day, going in and out of the house for drinks and snacks. Some days, they stay inside, watching movies and reading. They swim, they walk on the beach, they run, they hike, and they talk about anything and everything but they never scratch the surface of their tenuous relationship. She worries that if they do scratch that surface, if they delve deeper, Tony may not like what he finds. She doesn't know if Tony has the same worries, but she wants to reassure him that she knows what's below his surface. Not all of it, no, but some. And she's not bothered by what she finds.
Now, they are lying on lounge chairs near the shore line and she's reapplying her sunscreen. Tony's wearing blue swimming trunks and she's wearing a black bikini. Tony's skin has a nice, dark tan while her own is still a light gold. Still, it's more color than she usually has and she enjoys it.
As she sips on her Pina Colada, she looks out over the water and realizes she is far more relaxed than she's been in years. She feels a smile trying to take over her lips and she lets it. She soon sets her drink to the side. She can feel the sun's heat on her skin and she wants to cool off so she heads for the promising cool of the water. She can feel Tony's eyes on her and she almost wants to turn around and look. It doesn't bother her that he's looking at her; she'd worn her smallest bikini for exactly that reason. Natasha herself isn't sure what she is trying to get from Tony, but she knows that she enjoys it when he watches her. He only does it when he thinks she won't notice. Like, if they're watching a movie, or if she's reading a book.
She's found herself leaning into him more when they watch television together. Sometimes, she'll stretch, letting her shirt ride up on her stomach and he'll glance at the exposed skin. Her favorite moments are when he's lying in bed with an arm around her, he thinks she's asleep and he'll start drawing patterns on her skin. She has to fight a shiver as her body remembers the feel of his rough, calloused fingers on the bare skin of her back and thigh.
Stepping into the cool ocean, she walks until the water is up to her waist and then dives under to swim further out. It doesn't take long for her to notice that Tony has followed her, almost silently as he swims closer. Natasha likes that they spend so much time together here. She's learned parts of Tony that she never thought to learn before. Things that would never make it into a file.
She knows that he likes to get up around sunrise every day. She knows that he rarely uses covers when he sleeps. She knows that he enjoys musicals as well as horror movies. She knows that he really should be called Dr. Stark rather than Mr. Stark. And she knows that he worries far too much about others and not enough about himself.
When she stops swimming, she turns around and lays on her back and floats, Tony doing the same next to her. The waves carry them closer together; his fingers graze hers and she doesn't move away. Neither does he. They stay that way, floating, drifting, fingers touching ever so often. She can feel the glances that he keeps giving her but she doesn't look at him. She just closes her eyes and lets herself feel weightless.
They haven't heard anything else about the rumors of Tony having a fling with a mystery woman. She'd asked Tony if Pepper had been in contact and he'd told her no, so she'd left it at that. She knows that he hasn't tried to contact Pepper. Natasha has found herself wondering, more than once, if Tony had even told Pepper where he was going or with whom. She wants to ask but she also doesn't. She has no idea what she wants the answer to be. She thought she would find herself, find out who Natasha Romanov is, during this vacation, but she only finds more questions.
She finds herself wondering who Tony Stark is.
Normally, these things would bother her. Somehow, here and now, they don't. Maybe it's Tony. Maybe it's her. Maybe they are both changing. And maybe, things will continue to change. Because she's pretty sure she doesn't want to return to how things were.