I know how to hold a grudge I can send a bridge up in smoke,

And I can't count the people I've let down, the hearts I've broke,

You ain't gotta dig too deep If you wanna find some dirt on me,

I'm learning who you've been ain't who you've got to be,

It's gonna be an uphill climb, aww honey I won't lie,

I ain't no angel, I still got a few more dances with the devil,

I'm cleaning up my act little by little,

I'm getting there, I can finally stand the man in the mirror I see,

I ain't as good as I'm gonna get but I'm better than I used to be,

I've pinned a lot of demons to the ground, I've got a few old habits left,

But there's still one or two I might need you to help me get,

Standing in the rain so long has left me with a little rust,

But put some faith in me and someday you'll see, there's a diamond under all this dust,

I ain't no angel, I still got a few more dances with the devil,

I'm cleaning up my act little by little,

I'm getting there, I can finally stand the man in the mirror I see,

I ain't as good as I'm gonna get but I'm better than I used to be,

I ain't no angel, I still got a few more dances with the devil,

But I'm cleaning up my act little by little,

I'm getting there, I can finally stand the man in the mirror I see,

I ain't as good as I'm gonna get but I'm better than I used to be

Better Than I Used to Be – Tim McGraw

Natasha wakes up early after a fitful night's sleep. Tony hadn't slept well, either, but he'd excused himself to his lab sometime around three in the morning and hadn't been back to bed. She understood, though. They hadn't talked much the night before but their conversation had been a hard one.

Gathering some workout clothes, she dresses quickly and heads for the gym, already missing the island and their peaceful time there. She knows that Tony has a meeting with Pepper later in the afternoon but she has nothing on her schedule, one of the consequences of being a semi-fugitive. She figures she can get in a good workout today, keep up with her training as much as possible. She's starting to regret being lazy for two weeks. Of course, she'd ran every other day, but that wasn't anywhere close to what she usually did.

"Friday, can you turn on my usual playlist?" She asks as she starts wrapping her hands.

The music starts to play slowly before speeding up and, by the time the beat drops, she's hitting the padded training dummy. Natasha quickly settles into a rhythm of hitting and kicking. She twists and turns around the immobile object. Red hair falls over her forehead and she shakes her head slightly, feeling a few hairs stick to her skin with sweat. Another twist and she kicks her leg up over the arm of the dummy, using it to pull her torso around. Her other leg goes around the dummies 'torso' area and squeezes as she uses a short series of punches and elbow strikes. One the last strike, she rears her body back and releases the dummy from between her legs. Her palms hit the ground and she brings her legs towards the ground, flipping and twisting to land in a crouch facing the dummy.

"Wow." She hears behind her and looks over her shoulder to see Tony leaning in the doorway, arms crossed over his chest. "I knew you were impressive. I didn't know you were that impressive."

"I thought you had a meeting." She replies as she walks to the shelves on the side of the room. She grabs a towel and wipes the sweat from her face before grabbing a bottle of water from the mini-fridge. As she looks at Tony again, she lets her gaze roam over the three-piece suit. "If you weren't you, I'd think you were here making a deal for my soul."

"I'm sure we could arrange something." He tells her as he cracks a smile. The suit is a deep black with dark red pinstripes on the vest and a dark red, silk handkerchief in his jacket pocket. The handkerchief matches his tie perfectly. "I was just headed out, wanted to ask if you'd be available when I got back."

"What'd you have in mind?" She asks him with a raised brow, curious.

"I wanted to talk to you about a job." He answers. "Also, maybe ask you to dinner."

Natasha forces her breath not to catch in her throat at his words. Tony asking her to dinner is different than them having dinner together on the island. It's different than them eating at home, too. "Where would we go?"

"Well, I know of this Italian place. Kinda fancy but they actually fill up your plate."

"I think we can do that." She smiles and he returns it easily.

"I'll let you get back to it."

And then he's gone and her playlist resumes. She doesn't want to think about what it means that she hadn't noticed that it'd stopped. Instead, she puts the towel and water down on a bench and goes to the treadmill.

When she finishes with her workout, she throws her towel into the hamper in the corner of the room and puts the bottle into recycling before heading back to her room to shower. Well, Tony's room. But, she supposes it's her room, too.

Once in the room, she grabs fresh clothes and heads to the bathroom. She gets into the shower and washes her hair and body quickly and redresses not ten minutes later. But as she walks back into the bedroom, she pauses mid-step.

"Colonel Rhodes," she says, a pleasant mask sliding over her face. She's unsure of her position when it comes to the older man. "I didn't hear you come in."

"I didn't know anyone was in here." The man replies as he looks at her suspiciously. She didn't know if that was because Tony hadn't told him that she was here or if he was going to look at her like that for the rest of his life. Or, maybe, it's because she's in Tony's bedroom.

"I was just leaving." She tells him as she starts moving again. Walking over to her side of the bed, she grabs her phone off the charger and her wallet off the nightstand. Natasha tries not to glance at Rhodes too much as she grabs her boots out of the closet and slips them on. She can feel him watching her movements and she knows that he's reading the environment. She knows that it's obvious this isn't her first night sleeping in Tony's bed.

"So, what is this?" Rhodes finally asks her and she has to fight not to wince.

"What?" She asks him, hoping that maybe if she plays dumb, or at least oblivious, he won't try to dig too deeply. Because she doesn't know what to tell him. She doesn't know what this is, really. She knows how she feels but she won't say it to anyone else until Tony himself knows. And she's not quite ready to be that vulnerable with Tony. Because she doesn't know what this is to him.

"What are you doing with Tony? Why are you here? Is this a last ditch effort to keep him on your side?" Each word was louder than the last as Rhodes moves closer to her, the wheelchair silent on the carpet.

"No." Natasha answers. "It's not like that."

"Then what is it like?" His tone is exasperated, frustrated. "Because he's been hurt enough and I'm tired of seeing it. I'm tired. He gave you people everything. And you took, and took, and took, until he didn't have anything else you wanted then they abandoned him. So, why are you here? What makes you different?"

Natasha understands the anger, she deserves it. She has never claimed to be a good person and she won't claim it now, she decides. She will give him as much of the truth as she can.

"I'm not." She sighs, leaning against the dresser behind her and crossing her arms. "I took everything I could from him, every chance I got. And yes, I'm here, taking. But, now? Now, I'm trying to give back. I have taken things all of my life. Mostly other's lives. I was always willing to do whatever it took."

She has to pause for a moment and just breathe. Rhodes doesn't speak, letting her gather her thoughts and calm her emotions. She wants to thank him but she knows better. He's not doing it for her.

"I don't know how many more times I'm going to hurt someone that cares about me. I won't say it will never happen because it might. People have never really mattered, only the mission. The greater good. Now, I don't have a mission. There's no job, no objective. There's only me and Tony. And I don't know why I'm here. I just know that I can't be anywhere else. Because he matters."

Natasha realizes she's looking at the carpet by the time she finishes talking. For a moment, she remembers Tony saying that they would burn it down together. He'd obviously been awake that night on the island when she'd said those words to him. But he never said anything.

"For some reason, Tony wants you around. You wouldn't be here otherwise." Rhodes says and she looks up because his voice is coming from near the door, not in front of her. He's in the doorway, turned away from her, preparing to leave. "But I'm telling you now, if you screw this up, you won't get another chance. I'll personally make sure of it."

With that, Rhodes leaves the room and Natasha sits on the unmade bed. His threat doesn't bother her. She knows that he means it and she can only take it as a good thing, a sign of how much he cares for Tony. She stands up again, starts to make the bed before being interrupted by Friday.

"Miss Romanov, Boss would like you to tell you that he left a StarkPad for you, loaded with all of the files about Dr. Foster and Miss Lewis, plus, additional ones regarding the job offer." The AI announces.

"Thanks, Friday. Is he still here?" She asks, swiping her hand across the covers to smooth out the wrinkles.

"He just left." She answers. "And, Miss Romanov, thank you."

Natasha glances up with a furrowed brow but Friday stays silent. Hmm. She leaves the room after a cursory glance over everything. Tony has a cleaning service once a week, but Natasha knows that he still tries to keep everything tidy and she's the same way.

As she walks down the hallway towards the elevator, she can't help but think about who she used to be compared to who she is now. It was like looking in the mirror every day. There was no noticeable change but, look at a photograph from five years ago and it was like another person was staring back. She knew that she had a long way to go, but she was trying.

For a while after the Battle of New York, she'd been stuck on what Loki had said on the helicarrier. Can you really wipe out that much red? For a short time, she'd almost lost herself. Because of eight words. Then Tony had still treated her the same, as if she was just a normal person. He'd treated them all exactly the same, no better or worse than him. And she'd savored it.

As she steps into the kitchen area, she catches sight of Vision standing at the stove, cooking an omelet.

"Miss Romanov, I hope you don't mind, I took the liberty of preparing breakfast."

"Not at all." She reassures Vision. Natasha knows that he likes to cook and his food is usually good.

"Mr. Stark has asked me to inform you that you can ask me any questions you may have until he is available later this afternoon." Vision tells her as he puts the perfect looking omelet onto the plate. "I have reviewed the files and taken the opportunity to do further research into our soon-to-be guests."

"Thanks, Vis." She sits at the kitchen island as he hands her the plate and slides the salt and pepper to her. A mug of coffee is placed near her with a pot of cream and sugar cubes.

"There has also been a recent development regarding Shield. I have not had the chance to speak to Mr. Stark, in depth, about it but he told me that I should bring the information regarding your previous organization directly to you."

"Shield?" She asks. She didn't know there was a Shield.

"Former Director Fury contacted me recently about the organization putting itself back together. I believe Friday was supposed to mention the files."

"She did, I just didn't know it was about Shield." Natasha assures him as her mind starts racing with possibilities. "Would it be my old job back?" Natasha asks him. She doesn't show anything but polite curiosity, though she wonders, suddenly, if Tony wants her gone.

"No." Vision replies quickly. "I do not believe so. From what I understand, you would be in charge of our side of things."

"Our side of things?" And really, she's starting to feel like a parrot.

"You would be coordinating with whoever runs New Shield, that sort of thing. You would, technically, be the director of the Avengers, in a way."

"I'd have to know more about it, but it sounds like something I'd be interested in." She finally answers Vision.

"Also, Dr. Foster and her assistant, Miss Lewis, will be here earlier than originally planned. Something about the new inhuman situation."

"Inhuman situation?" Natasha asks, her tone slightly more serious than previously. "You mean the sudden surge in people getting powers because of fish?"

"Yes. Apparently, it reacts oddly if you are electrocuted. We may also have new teammates. I haven't finished the files yet but from what I gather, Miss Lewis and Dr. Foster are both changed."

"Okay." Natasha replies as she blows out a breath slowly. "I can handle the situation. I have plenty of experience with unusual situations."

"That is good to hear. I'd been concerned I would be in this with only Mr. Stark as help. And while he is more than capable, I fear he has taken on too many responsibilities as of late."

She finishes her food and places her plate in the dishwasher before helping put the left-overs in containers. Vision told her months ago that that he wanted to start donating the extra food he cooked and she can't help her small smile at that memory. They work quietly for a few minutes before he politely clears his throat.

"If you would like some assistance in reviewing the files, I believe I could be of service."

Natasha isn't sure if he is lonely, or if he genuinely likes doing work like that but she nods slowly. She grabs her coffee mug, refilling it and adding cream and sugar, knowing she'll need it if she's going to be doing research. "That would be great. Is there an office somewhere that we can use? I'm not familiar with some of the administrative areas of the compound."

"Mr. Stark has offered me an office next to his. Though, he is rarely there, as he does most work in his workshop." Vison answers her as he puts the lid on the last container and gets it ready to be picked up by a Stark Industries employee.

"Great. Let's do it." Vision smiles kindly and nods his head before leading the way.