Chapter 2: Torment each other.

They decided it was better if they meet somewhere away from people, away from prying eyes and ears so they traveled to Camp David, his mother, who came to help him out, kindly told him she'll take care of the kids. He took marine one two hours after she texted him that she started driving there. He wasn't sure what they would talk about, if anything but something, a voice sounding extremely like his Alex pushed him to try it.

When he got there, the house was dark, empty, it was almost fitting looking to his left he could see her car is parked there so he wonders where she might be. He orders Mike to stay back and give him space something that he does without a question and Tom walks to the entrance, her figure starts showing in the darkness, she is sitting on the steps, her black coat too big on her slender frame which is shaking in the cold. He wonders why she didn't walk inside, but something inside him already knows the answer, it's the same to why he didn't tell anyone about his hallucinations, they both believe they deserve all the pain and discomfort inflicted upon them. As if by hurting themselves they manage to make aments with what happened to Alex.

"We should go inside." Tom suggests, but sits down next to her.

"We should" she answers her voice fragile and shaky but doesn't move a muscle to stand up. He doesn't either…

She doesn't know what gets her to the cemetery the grave in front of her is after all empty, she made sure of that. But still she finds herself standing there, it's late, almost midnight but she finds herself sitting down on the damp grass, her back against the cool marble, she leaves a bouquet of roses she picked up on her way there. "I don't know why I'm here Alex…" she admits to the void. It's exhausting that even here she has to pretend, she needs to act as if there's someone actually buried there, but something tells her to not let her guard down, not even for a moment.

So she doesn't, she acts even here in the middle of a cold damp night.

"How did I found myself in this mess?" she asks no one in particular, the question hangs in the air, she doesn't expect any answers after all, the cemetery isn't the place for answers. The sound of her ringtone disturbs the deadly silence of this place and it startles her. She takes the phone out, Chuck's smiling face lighting up the screen.

"Hey Chuck why are you awake this late?" she asks, she is glad he is awake; she needs to speak to someone, someone to actually speak to her too.

"I found something about Damian." His voice is broken, she doesn't know when was the last time she heard him this broken, this…well almost defeated.

"What is it Chuck?" she asks, her voice is demanding, she needs to know the answer, "I can't tell you over the phone Hannah, I need you to come to my apartment now." She bites her lip and thinks it over for a moment "Alright, leave the door open for me will ya'" she joked. A soft chuckle, followed by an even softer "Always" was all she heard before the dialing tone.

Tom doesn't know how long he and Kendra sat on the steps in front of the house, he has so many happy memories from this place, Alex and the kids playing by the pool, all of them eating pizza a day after his first town hall, him spending the night with her, his face buried between her shoulder and neck. He wasn't sure he could face the emptiness of the house not when it reflects the emptiness in his soul so well.

Kendra's hand brushing the top of his draws him back to the present, he slowly opens the door, not really looking if the woman was following him inside, deep down he knew she was. The house was warm; someone had obviously turned on the heating in anticipation of his visit he walks in the living room, it's neat and warm, Kendra passes him by silently, she drops down on one of the two couches, in the light of the room he can notice just how baggy the coat actually is. He wonders when the last time she had a good meal was. The little devil in his head is happy she is suffering, that she feels just as bad as he feels, that she is broken like he is broken.

The silence between them became unbearable soon enough. Kendra was the first to break it. "You don't have to hide your emotions from me. And I won't hide mine" the steadiness of her voice surprises him; he really expected her voice to sound every bit broken like her body looked. But her voice was strong, it was steady and it made him feel a little better using her almost like a punching bag.

"I wished you had died instead of Alex." Such a simple statement, it wasn't the first time he told her that, but it still hurt him a little to admit it to her face. "I wish the same thing ever since that damned night." She takes a deep breath, she knows what she'll say next might push him off the edge, she can see him fighting to hold on to any shreds of dignity and self control he might have left but she wants him mad. She wants him angry at her, yelling at her, blaming her. Maybe he can make her hate him enough to resign… maybe he can make her hate herself enough to end it… maybe. "She was making plans for your date. She was wondering if she should wear the red or the green dress" his eyes widening while she speaks, she can hear his breath picking up, she had achieved her goal she can sense it , his anger is bubbling under his skin.

"You should have died." He spits out, the words are muted, he actually speaks between his teeth, as if he's trying to keep back.

"STOP TRYING TO KEEP BACK DAMMIT! YOU HATE ME I CAN SEE IT! STOP LYING TO MY FACE!" her explosion is a surprise to Tom, the coat she was holding draped over her shoulders falls back on the couch for the first time he notices the bones on her wrists, the way her cheekbones poke out more.

"I don't hate you." He stands up looks her in the eye, there are tears there, tears that tell him to shut up, stop before he outers another word but the actual look on her eyes yearns for the pain, she almost asks him to hurt her and in his hurt and broken heart it all makes sense.

"Hate isn't strong enough, I despise you! WHY DID YOU SURVIVE AND ALEX DIED?" He starts moving towards her, she is taken back by the tone of his voice and takes a couple steps back. "WHY DID YOU HAVE TO WALK OUT OF IT FINE AND NOT MY WIFE?" With every question, every accusation falling from his lips like poison he moves closer, she tries to move away but his hands are faster, he grips her arms tightly, tight enough to leave bruises and she gasps, the pain of his tight grip makes her feel alive. "And still I can't fire you. I can't. Even though I despise you with my every fiber it still makes me feel better to talk to you."

All the way to Chuck's apartment Hannah had the worse feeling on the pit of her stomach, she can't really remember when the last time she was so uneasy, so worried about anything really. She put her foot on the gas a little harder this time, driving just a little faster, something tells her that she doesn't have time to lose. She passes by the lights of the city which kind of blur into white and by the end of it she finds herself completely ignoring the traffic lights. She parks her car next to his and breaths out in relief that the lights are on. There's some light movement in the curtains and someone is moving around on the inside. It makes her smile a bit, at least Chuck was alright, the sick feeling wasn't about him after all.

She got out of the car and walked to his door with a spring on her step, a small weight had left her shoulders. When she gets to his door though everything change, it's slightly open and soft groans of pain are coming from the inside.

"Chuck?" she calls his name while pushing the door softly open. His voice comes from the kitchen, it's soft and pained. The stench of blood fills her nostrils and she does her best not to puke in the middle of his apartment, he doesn't need that.

She sees him the moment she turns her head, lying on the floor behind the kitchen island, blood covering the front of his shirt which is in shreds, so much blood, his blood on the floor, seeping to his hair, through his fingers as he tries to put pressure on the wounds. There's so much blood and he is in so much pain that it blinds her.

"I'm gonna call 911. Hang on Chuck you hear me?" she calls for him, her voice a little broken, a little unstable but still through her contained tears and worry unmistakably hers.

"It was Damian Hannah, he said… payback… is… a bitch." She saw him loose conscience the moment he managed to get Damian's latest threat out, he was so week, his hand fell limp on hers. She couldn't control her tears this time, she was in a complete hysteria when the paramedics, just minutes later, tried to take his motionless body from her arms.

He knew she was there without opening his eyes this time, the stench of blood and the cold air that always follows her hit him first. He and Kendra had fallen asleep on the two couches there. Tom couldn't bear the thought of going to the master bedroom or the guest bedrooms for the matter and he wouldn't allow Kendra to either. He took his time opening his eyes, he didn't really look forward to her tormenting him, but she didn't leave she wasn't going to and he knew that.

"Tom." She softly, sweetly said his name; there was a breath of freezing cold air hitting his neck that made the back of his hair rise up. "Come on now Tom, you can't ignore me forever." He wishes he was strong enough to tell her to go to hell, to ignore her but he isn't, his resolve breaks and crumbles pretty fast, he can't ignore her for long, they both know that. Somewhere deep down he still wishes that she will take mercy on him and let him see Alex one last time, just Alex not the blood, or bruises, or ripped clothes or the piece of glass stuck on her throat. Just Alex, his wife with her sweet smile and warm eyes, he still prays for her to allow him one last night in her warm arms.

"Will you open your eyes now? I don't have all night Tom!" her voice is demanding, it's cold and it makes him follow her orders without a second thought.

His eyes shoot open and he sees her retreating back as she walks from him to the couch Kendra is lying on curled up in a ball covering her slender figure with her oversized coat. "She's pretty isn't she?" she asks, Tom's eyes shot up, he watches her study Kendra with a sick look on her face, it scares Tom, it scares him to death. "Don't touch her." He was hopping his voice wouldn't sound so much like a plea but it did. "You are begging!" an even bigger smile crossed her lips revealing to him a set of perfect white teeth, she was enjoying his humiliation. Tom was frightened of what she might do next.

He sees her raising her hand to her neck her long slender fingers playing with the piece of glass stuck there before pulling it out with a sickening wet sound. It made Tom's stomach turn a little and as hard as he tried to keep it from showing she saw it. "Oh come on now Tom, a little more blood makes you sick? Look at me I'm full of it." With every word fresh deep red blood purred out of the now open wound on her neck. She walks slowly toward Kendra and kneels down between them, she leaves the bloody glass on his leg, her blood he can feel it seeping through his pants and staining his skin. He closes his eyes, repeating to himself "It's not real, it's not real, it's not real" over and over and over again. There's a cold laugh from his side and he opens his eyes softly, the shadow is laughing, she enjoys his discomfort "Trigger phrases won't make me leave either Tom." He can't stop a few tears leaving his eyes when she said that, she was inside his head, controlling him from the inside.

"Take this thing from my leg, please," his breath picking up, the weight of the bulletproof glass on his leg was crushing him. "Please, Alex." She smiles, still, not moving a muscle to take the thick sharp glass from him. "No, you can pick it up. I want you to do something with it." She stands up, leaning closer to him, her bloody face inches from his. "I might let you spend the night with Alex if you do." The thought is tempting, it makes him choke a bit; spend one last night with Alex? This was all he really wanted. He would do anything for that, anything to see her face without all the blood on it. "I'll do…"

"Anything I know." She cuts him off. "Pick up the glass Tom." His hand shaking as he raises the glass from his leg and holds it in his hand with a tight grip. It cuts him; he feels the blood seeping through his fingers staining the glass further. "Good boy." Her praise makes his stomach turn; she sounds mean even when she is trying to be nice. "Now, listen carefully Tom, I want you to stab Kendra with it. Cut her neck, like you cut mine." Tears escape his eyes, he looks at the sleeping woman on the couch and then the tormenting shadow standing next to him, her arms crossed over her chest, a sick smile, always on her lips.

"After that I get to spend the night with Alex? I get to see her, right? Touch her?" he is crying right now, silent tears rolling down his face and he makes no effort to wipe them off. "Of course Tom, a deal is a deal!" she tells him, he nodes and turns to the sleeping woman on the couch, he doesn't know how he'll do what the shadow asks him, he just knows that he needs to.

He raises the glass and he's ready to strike her neck when Penny's voice fills his brain "I really like Kendra daddy; I wish she was my older sister really. Mommy likes her too!" he remembers his little girl, she likes Kendra, and Alex is dead, is it worth it to take away from her another woman she loves? Especially for such selfless reasons? The shadow only offered him a night, not an eternity, not his wife back, just a night with a ghost kinder than she is.

The glass falls from his hands with a loud thud on the floor and he follows it falling to his knees, the blood in the palm of his hands smearing his face when he hides his it in them, repeating softly "I can't" through ragged breaths.

"You are weak Tom, I always knew that." He raises his head just in time to see her disappearing through another cloud of thin mist…

Kendra wakes up when she hears a soft sob coming from the man sleeping on the couch next to her. He seems to be restless, twisting and turning, his hand tightly gripping the shreds of the glass he broke in anger before they fell asleep. She can see the blood as the glass cuts his hand; it seeps through his fingers staining the beige couch. His jaw is set and tears roll through his tightly closed eyes.

She sees his hand twitching he is trying to raise it, but the paralysis caused by the nightmare prevents him, it takes him a while fighting against his own brain before a soft "I can't" comes out of his lips followed by dozen more. His hand opens and the sharp piece of crystal falls down on the thick carpet another spasm in his arm knocks the small table and the lamp on top to the floor, the loud thud makes Kendra jump from her skin. His breaths are ragged and she wonders what she should do, should she go to him or not?

She gets up and walks to the man crying with soft sobs in his sleep, carefully she caresses his bloody hand, he flinches a bit in his sleep but his eyes open, groggy and unfocused, shimmering with the unshed tears there he tries hard to focus on anything "Alex!" her name falls from his lips like a feather and she lowers her head knowing that she wasn't the woman he truly wanted. She bits her lip, trying to stop herself from saying anything, it works. He stays silent for a few moments she's kneeling next to him her fingers softly touch his cut palm.

"Kendra" for the first time since the accident he almost sounds relieved to see her there, "I need to go get the first aid kit" she says and gets up, she tries to escape him, tries to get as far away as she can from the broken man but he is faster, much faster than her, his hand grips hers, it seems he ignored the pain for a while, and she ignores the blood.

The words he wanted to actually say never left his lips, they stayed trapped there, unable to come out. He just looked into her puffy eyes, still red from all the tears she shed, he wants to thank her for staying with him, he is ashamed of what he said to her and what he was willing to do but he couldn't bring himself to say anything once again. Thankfully she didn't need him to say anything, silence was speaking for both.

A/N: This is the end of chapter 2, we had Tom and Kendra fighting and Damian getting revenge on Hannah by hurting Chuck. Please let me know what you are thinking about the story so far!

Here's a small sneak peak:

She looked down on her hands his blood was there, it had stained her skin, but she was unable to look away. She just couldn't look away from the crimson stains on her skin. She wonders is that what if felt like for him when she came to his apartment bleeding almost two years back? It must have been…