*Here I go with all the feeeels again!

Chapter 6 – "Good Thoughts"

Ethan awoke a few hours later to the feeling of someone taking his pulse. The hand that was holding his wrist was shaky, and he had a pretty good guess as to who that someone was. Leanne. He let out a sigh that he hoped she wouldn't notice and tried to get his emotions in check. The past few days had been a whirlwind, and while Jesse had explained to him several times what had happened to him, he was still fuzzy on the details. He knew that he was at Angels. He knew that he was injured, though the pain meds were doing their job because he felt very little. He had asked Jesse a dozen times to make sure that he had heard him right. "The kid was drunk Ethan, fucking drunk." The Puerto Rican's voice had sent chills down Ethan's spine. He had never heard the man curse in such a way before, but he understood his anger. Ethan wasn't just angry that he had been hurt, he was angry that this was happening to Leanne, again.

His heart broke for her. She was the sweetest, most loving person he knew and he couldn't accept the fact that all these bad things kept happening to her. In the eleven months that they had been together she had shared with him a lot about her past, especially in regards to her accident. She had told him about all of the fears that she had back then, that she still had, and he had held her tightly after she had told him about burying her babies.

Then they had both struggled equally during the outbreak, her from being sick, and him from worrying about her being sick. They had both worried about the others as well. Elliot, Mario, and Malaya, three of the strongest residents he had ever known. None of whom deserved to suffer they way that they did. And then there had been Ariel. Leanne had told him about the young girl upon her arrival, and he had pushed her to open up her home to her. When she had gotten sick, the look of fear on Leanne's face, the heart break in her eyes, it made him want to take it all away. He had reassured her that Ariel would be fine. He had promised her that the girl would be okay. But then a secondary infection had set in and the fever rose beyond repair. And then Ethan had been forced to watch as Leanne held her hand helplessly as she faded away.

He had been by her side every day since then. He had held her every night, even when she was still confined to a hospital bed, and he didn't give a damn who saw. They had attended Heather's funeral hand-in-hand. And then a week later, they had attended Ariel's. It rained that day, thunder and lighting and the likes, and Ethan thought it was ironic. They had stood under the tent huddled together, Leanne on one side of him, Noa on the other. And when he and Leanne had finally left, he had taken her home and made love to her for the first time in almost a month. He had been sweet and caring and gentle and when his tears mixed with hers as they both came, he felt every fiber of his being ache with the love he had for her.

He felt her hand go to his wrist again, her fingers finding his pulse point, her breath even as she counted quietly to herself. "What are you doing?" Ethan's voice was quiet, his uninjured hand pulling free of her grasp to run his fingers through her hair.

"Nothing." Her voice was soft and broken and she was doing her best to fight back the tears that were forming in her eyes.

"Doesn't look like nothing." He gently tilted her head so that she was looking him in the eye, his thumb rubbing across her damp cheek. "I'm fine you know?"

Leanne just nodded, her head falling back to its place on his chest, her ear landing just above his heart. His beating heart. His big, loving, gentle, beating heart. And the tears poured out like rain.

She couldn't handle it if something had happened to him. She couldn't handle it if she had lost him. He was her best friend, her rock, her person. And she couldn't imagine her life without him. After John had died she always swore that she would never love again. Not only out of fear of being disrespectful, but out of fear of having to face that kind of loss all over again. She didn't want to put her heart through that. Jesse had made fun of her at first. Especially when he would catch guys flirting with her. But when she told him her reasoning, told him about how scared she was to get hurt again, he had backed off.

That all changed when Ethan showed up though. She had wanted to hate him at first. She really, really, wanted to hate him. He was smug, and his carelessness had nearly gotten one of her closest friends killed. But then she saw the way he was with the young shark bite victim. How gentle and honest he had been with the grieving girl, and her heart had fluttered in a way that it had never done before, not even with her late husband. From there things that just seemed to get better.

She remembered the way her heart had broke when he told her that his CO was in town. That the man could get him sent back to Afghanistan, that he could be out of her hair in a matter of days. She hadn't wanted him to leave. She wanted him to stay. She had gotten used to having him around. He always found a way to brighten her day, and he was always going out of his way to make her smile. She knew that if he left, she would be lost again.

So when he had told her on the roof that he was staying, she had beamed. She was sure that the smile that came over her face with his news was probably goofy as all get out, but she didn't care. She was happy. Really, truly, happy. And then he had asked her if she wanted to go get breakfast and she had jumped at the chance. They had sat at the little diner across the street for almost 3 hours, just chatting away. He had walked her back across the street to her car, where he had backed her against the driver's side door and asked her if she wanted to go home with him, and she simply answered him with a kiss.

They had spent a month or so after that dancing around each other, spending a few nights together here or there, but neither one of them was quite ready for a heavy commitment. However, that had all changed after Rollie's surgery. Though the man had pulled through with flying colors, the surgery going off without a hitch, they had both been so emotionally exhausted after the whole ordeal that they had fallen into each other's arms and spent the whole night making love. Leanne didn't leave the bed before Ethan woke up that next morning, instead she stayed, and they hadn't looked back since.

That had been almost 11 months ago, and Leanne couldn't be happier. She had finally found someone that was truly her other-half. Someone who completed her sentences, who made her laugh without trying, who knew her inside and out. Sure she had loved her husband, they wouldn't have been married for almost 15 years if she hadn't. But this was different. Things with Ethan were, passionate and intense, and he was constantly surprising her.

"I can practically hear the thoughts rolling around in that beautiful head of yours." His voice was soft, his lips chapped against the cool skin of her forehead, and she snapped back to reality. "Everything okay?"

She swallowed back the sob that had been stuck in her throat and she ran her hand along his chest, stopping when she got to his jaw, the bruises there slowly starting to fade. "Yeah. Just thinking."

"Hm." Ethan squeezed his arm around her, pulling her closer to him as he waggled his eyebrows at her. "Anything good?"

Leanne chuckled and ran her thumb over his lips. Lips that she hadn't kissed in over 4 days. Lips that had brought so much pleasure and happiness to her life over the past year. "Not that good." She whispered, pulling herself up to press a kiss to his chin, then his cheek, and lastly his nose.

"Well darn." He almost sounded disappointed, almost, and when he winked at her she let out the most beautiful little giggle he had ever heard.

She pressed a soft kiss to his lips then, her hand cradling his head gently as she pulled back. "I was just thinking about us, that's all."

Ethan sighed as she tucked herself back against his side, and he closed his eyes as a rare wave of pain rolled over him. "I hope good thoughts."

Pressing a kiss to his chest she closed her eyes, "Always."

She stayed that way for a few minutes before she finally dozed back off, her hand relaxed against his chest instead of balled up in a fist. He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead and took a deep breath. The pain meds must have started to wear off finally, because he was starting to feel a radiating ache in his arm that hadn't been there before. He closed his eyes in hopes of warding off the pain and within a few minutes he was asleep again, his quiet snores filling the dark room.

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