Chapter 17: Progress

Tom was waiting for her nervously, "Well?" he asked her. "He's gonna be waiting us tomorrow night, after the shop closes, you talk to Mike and we're good to go." She tells him, he smiles for the first time actually reflecting on his eyes. "Thank you" he whispers.

"So wanna talk?" she asks him, they both know that he needs to talk, that he has to and to her relief he does say the same thing himself. "I think I have to." She smiles, wondering where she should have him begin. There are so many things that happened to this man that she wonders where the beginning is. She imagines it is the bombing and after some thought she decides to have him start from there.

"Start from the beginning, the bombing, what do you feel about it." He closes his eyes tightly, he can still see the capitol exploding behind his eyelids. The orange of the flames too bright that forces him to open them again, he blinks a couple times, this always happens these days.

"I remember thinking the first night, I should have died, had I been better at my job I would be dead and it was unfair, that the country would have to look to me for leadership when I couldn't even lead HUD." She sees him struggling to get the next part out, she suspects what he's going to say next but it still doesn't make it easier. "And maybe I should be, that way Alex wouldn't be targeted; Leo wouldn't have grown to resent me," she reaches for his hand and holds it tightly.

"But Lloyd would have won." She tells him, she knows it's not gonna change much but she has to try, "The country wouldn't be what it is." He nods "I know and I feel guilty about it, but still." She can't blame him, survivor's guilt has really strong legs to break and after all he with Kimble Hookstraten were the only people to survive in a little over 400 people, from the president to the supreme court justices, to both chambers of congress and their guest that did die. She remembers reading somewhere, the day before the state of the union on how this state of the union was going to have the biggest crowd attending in modern history. He had heard it too, and to know that he was the one to survive while all those people died must have been a really difficult thing, not only to overcome but to even comprehend at all. She bites her lip, she realizes that she's not ready to face the bombing for long and neither is he so she moves to the next big trauma she can think of, "What about after the shooting?" she asks.

He chuckles sadly and looks up, his eyes are full of tears that to her surprise he didn't shed yet, "I still see it in my sleep, sometimes it's Alex that was shot and she would bleed out in my hands." He stops for a moment and looks at his hands, he remembers how his blood felt on them, he can only imagine how worse it would feel if it was her blood. "Thinking that I lost her for good made that stop, so I guess I'll take the small victories." He looks at her for a moment and then turns his eyes back to the carpet, he doesn't notice much, or even cares but the pattern is too ugly for him to take his eyes away. He remembers that this is still Richmond's carpet and chuckles "What?" she asks him softly. Tom turns to her "These are still Richmond's furniture for the most part. Tyler didn't want most of them so they stayed here. No one suspected I would stick around for long so they didn't got in trouble to change them either, but this is Richmond's carpet, his couch, his curtains."

"You think that's adding to the problem?" he looks at her, he doesn't know the answer to be honest, but he remembers what Leo told him after he told him about the accident "Alex hates it here, at least according to Leo, maybe that's one of the reasons." Kendra smiles and nods "It is" she tells him.

"We should redecorate." Tom states but that makes Kendra laugh, "Well first you should win re-election and then you can redecorate the shit out of this place." They laugh, it's so cathartic for a moment but the laughter stops almost as fast as it started. Tom's face turns serious for a moment. "I have this weight I'm carrying around. This guilt." He looks up and Kendra sees the realization forming in his eyes, it takes her by surprise but when he hears him say, "I treated everyone terribly." She could finally breathe free for the first time in a long time.

Tom spend the whole night almost talking to Kendra until it was too late for her to go back home. He let her borrow one of Alex's suits and use one of the guest bedrooms to rest for a while and get ready before they both had to go back to work. Mike was waiting for him outside of the residence, they walked to the office in silence and Tom was really itching to talk to him. He hated the way he treated everyone but his treatment of Mike was hurting him the most. They get to the office, Mike opens the door for him and follows him inside, saying a quick "Good Morning" he is ready to walk out the door when Tom stops him.

"Mike can I talk to you please?" he asks, Mike is visibly surprised by this but he nods and closes the door, "Of course sir!" he says walking a bit closer to Tom, "Let's go to the next room" Tom leads him to his private office, this was so much more sensitive to him to have it solved in the oval office. "Sit" he tells him, Mike is taken aback but he follows his words and example and sits down on the other couch in the room.

"I'd like to apologize, I acted horribly to you in the last few months and you didn't deserve it." Mike opens his mouth "Sir-" he says but Tom raises his hand to stop him, he knows what Mike wants to say but right now he needs to get it off his chest. "Please let me finish, I'm sorry for blaming you, or blowing up on you, it was wrong, it was unacceptable. And I'd like you to know that I still consider you a friend, if you don't mind." He sees the smile on Mike's face, it makes him breathe a bit easier.

"Sir, I'd be honored. But," this was Tom's turn to try and complain but Mike raised his hand stopping him this time "And you let me finish." Tom smiles and sits back. "I understand the reason, I was upset too, I don't blame you for your reaction, I think anyone's reaction would have been the same." Tom bites the inside of his cheek, what Mike said made him emotional, he knew he could count on Mike for pretty much everything but this was probably more than he deserved after his behavior for the last few months.

"It means the world to me Mike you know that?" Mike smiles, "Yeah." He says smiling. "So we're good?" Tom knows he sounds like his twelve year old self, scared and unsure of every step he took, but this time he doesn't hate it, he used to resent that kid, he used to hate that this boy still appeared from time to time, but this time to his surprise he didn't maybe because this time the exchange didn't end up with him having his glasses punched in. This time Mike just said "We're good!" with his trademarked smile lighting up his face.

They stayed in silence for a moment before Mike got up, "Gotta go back to work" he said and Tom nodded, when he got to the door though he stopped, "Oh and about the first lady's detail, I handpicked the new agents; they are some of the best we have. And I put in the recommendation to replace all the vehicles lost in the bombing, I hope congress will stop stonewalling now." Tom chuckles, he is thankful that Mike thought about it, it really did put his mind at ease that Mike had personally picked the agents in Alex's detail.

"Never hope with this congress Mike, they hate me and everything I stand for." He jokes, Mike chuckles, a mischievous smile on his lips as he said "True" and walked out letting him work.

Tom looks up to Kendra, she's eating not paying much attention to him, he's thankful that she didn't mind spending her lunch break with him, he wasn't the best company for a long time after all. "Thank you for agreeing to lunch again." He tells her when he sees her finishing her lunch.

"No problem." She wipes her mouth, carelessly, exactly like Alex does, wiping her lipstick off and smiles. She looks up to him and smiles "So how was your day so far?" she asks him cheerfully, almost too cheerfully he notices. "Good, I took your advice, I talked to Mike, I feel lighter." She smiles, it occurs to him that maybe that's the reason she was so cheerful, her smile is more relieved now that she heard him say that. He should ask her but she nods and changes the subject fast. "Have you thought about the elections?" she asks him, her face changing instantly. "What about them?" Tom asks, he tries to buy some time, he knows what she's asking for he went most of his term without a Vice President, he can't go through the election without one too.

"Will you run again? Because if you will you have to find a running mate." She asks him he had thought about it again and again, and before Alex came back he would probably not run but now he doesn't know. He knows that he has some time left to decide but he isn't sure if he's gonna ask her or not. He knows his staff wants him to run, he knows most of them are acting as if he's gonna run. "I don't know, I want to talk to Alex before deciding. This will affect the next four or even eight years of our lives, I want to talk to her first." He realizes that he needs to call her, he needs to actually talk to her about this and he needs to be ready to walk out if she doesn't want to get through this again. He realizes that this might be harder than he thought.

"Understood, but people are thinking you'll run, so"

"I have to hurry."

"Yeah."

Cornelius walks down the corridors of the capitol, he hates having to testify in the house, it's horrible, not that the senate is any better but the house is a shark tank. Of course a small voice in his head tells him that he doesn't like them because of how they treated Kimble but he ignores it. He sees a familiar young man walking to him and smiles. "Congressman Young what a joy!" the man looks up from his phone, as soon as their eyes meet he smiles widely, "Secretary Moss!" the two men hug for a moment, it's been ages since the last time Cornelius had seen Charlie, probably since his wedding to Zoe.

"Oh kid, come on call me Cornelius!" he complains, Charlie smiles and nods. "Of course, Cornelius, how are you." He asks, Cornelius notices that he's still clutching his phone in his hand. "I'm good, how's Zoe?" he sees the young man's smile growing and he starts looking through his phone as he talks, "She's great, we just had a little baby girl." He gives him the phone, "Charlotte Abigail Young." He says, there was a baby there, she was covered almost completely with her blankets, her small face barely visible, but the smile and the happiness in her parents' faces was more than enough for Cornelius.

"She's a beautiful girl. I can imagine the old man is over the moon." He says giving the phone back to Charlie. "He is indeed, she rejuvenated him really." He puts the phone in his pocket and looks up. "I imagine, I wanted to visit but," he stops he can't find a really good excuse but he also knows that he doesn't need to with neither Charlie not any of the Bartlets really.

"Don't worry I'm sure he understands."

"Well I was glad to see you, give Zoe, Charlotte, Abigail and the old man my love will you?" he asks him, "No problem." Charlie responds, Cornelius gives another squeeze to the young man's shoulder before they both take their separate ways.

Cornelius takes a deep breath before entering the room, he heard murmurs that Tom was in a good mood today but he wasn't sure how long this will last, the past few days the normally calm and collected man was a brewing volcano which was able to erupt at no notice. He walks in, the younger man looks up from his papers, his glasses slipping off his nose, he's taken aback by how normal he looks, how absolutely ordinary this picture looks. "Cornelius, everything alright with the committee?" he asks him letting his pen down on the desk. "Of course." Cornelius answers immediately, Tom smiles and gets up coming closer to him. Cornelius gathers his thoughts, "The hostages are on the way back as well, landing tonight at 8" he tells him, Tom smiles again and nods "I would like to meet them; I don't if it's appropriate though." Cornelius tries not to get too exited; he realizes also to his surprise that he can't smell any alcohol on Tom, either his clothes or his breath.

"It would be. I can arrange it." Tom smiles again, this time is smaller more reserved, "I would appreciate it a lot." He tells him. The, for a moment, both stand there awkwardly not saying anything but not moving either. "Is there another matter." Tom asks him eventually. "We have to talk." Cornelius says, Tom knew this was coming, of course it was, he couldn't avoid the lecture coming his way for long. He sits down on the couch and motions to Cornelius to do the same as well.

"About?"

"You, you spend yesterday the whole afternoon drunk, you're acting erratic, don't think I don't know what happened in PEOC few weeks ago, you were ready to start a war with Syria and Alex is gone again." Tom barely managed to get a breath before he felt his throat closing, he knew that Cornelius would see through his façade, he's been there after all, he just hoped he wouldn't comfort him so bluntly. Tom tries to look away, he wished he had asked him about anything else, "You can talk to me kid, I've been there, remember?" he tells him, Tom takes a deep breath, like with Kendra he can't avoid facing the truth with Cornelius, not this time.

"I'm getting it together; Alex and I needed a break. Trust me it's not going to happen again." He tries to reassure him, to his surprise Cornelius sits back, "Good, but I am here if you want to talk." He didn't expect his mentor to give up so fast, "Thank you. I appreciate it." He realizes soon enough that the only reason why Cornelius gave up so easy was because he had another thing coming for him.

"About the elections, the republicans will pick Bowman and Strange will go all the way, what are you doing?" he asks him, Tom takes a deep breath, he wanted to call Alex earlier but he postponed it, it was like he didn't know how to call her, what to tell her, all the time she was gone they had barely said more than a couple words to each other, he mostly talked with Penny, a little bit with Leo and that was it. Truth was that after Kendra mentioned it to him he went through some names that Emily had dropped on his desk months ago of possible candidates but no one really got him interested.

"I need to talk to Alex first; I need to know she's on board. But I have gone through some running mates." He sees Cornelius nodding, Tom realizes that he's far deeper than he thought and he isn't sure if he will be able to just walk away if Alex wasn't on board.

"If I may, you should consider Congressman Young, he's a bright man and with experience." Cornelius suggests, Tom sits back, he tries to remember when he heard that name, it's as if for a moment his brain blacked out. "President Bartlet's son in law?" he asks, "Yeah, he's a good kid Tom." Tom nods, he remembers meeting Charlie Young, he's is indeed a bright man, not only smart but funny, kind and compassionate as well. Not to mention that he handled Jed Bartlet for nearly seven years almost single handedly.

"I will, I agree he's really great and I agree with a lot of his positions." Tom looks at Cornelius smiling widely, "I can talk to him first if you want, I know him well." He offers, he's ready to tell him to do just that when he catches himself. If he takes that step there's no way back, he really needs to talk to Alex first before going any farther.

"I'd like to talk to Alex first if you don't mind." Cornelius' smile drops, his face turning serious, "You don't have long, next month are the conventions." He tells him.

"I know, I'll talk to her probably tomorrow."

"Good."

A/N: So next chapter Tom and Alex talk for the first time in weeks will Tom run? Let me know if you guys liked this chapter!

Sneak Peek:

"Hannah!" she wakes up when she hears her name being called, she is disoriented for a moment, thinking that it came from a dream but she soon sees him staring at her, his eyes opened widely as he stares in hers…