Chapter 18:The first Step

"Hannah!" she wakes up when she hears her name being called, she is disoriented for a moment, thinking that it came from a dream but she soon sees him staring at her, his eyes opened widely as he stares in hers.

"Chuck?" she asks, she hates the uncertainty that still lingers there but the look in his eyes, the way he clutches her hand is enough to blow away every little there's something in his eyes, something that reassures her that he remembers her.

"You are here." He breathes out in relief, his hand clutches hers tightly, his other slowly letting go of the blanket.

"Until you kick me out."

Tom was looking at the phone in his hands so weird that after almost nineteen years together he felt unsure talking to Alex. There was a strange feeling in his gut, one he hasn't felt since the morning after their first date when he wasn't sure what to tell her on the phone and ended up just showing up at her door. He suspects this method will not be appreciated this time, especially given their interactions in the last month or even before that. He closes his eyes, snippets of their lives together play out in front of him his fingers dial the number out of memory, "Hello." Her voice is so familiar, he feels like breathing again for the first time in ages. "Alex." Her name comes out of his lips like a prayer, it makes him lower his head, she heard the desperation he's sure she did just like he heard her nervousness when she told him, "Hey, Tom. Penny was about to call you." He can almost imagine her playing with her hair, biting her lip looking right and left.

"It's ok I wanted to talk to you first." There's a pause from the other side, it's not that long but for Tom it felt like an eternity. "Sure." She says and he finally breaths in what felt his entire life. He finds his brain being switched off, there's nothing he can think of telling her, even though he knows there are a million things he needs to tell her. "How are you?" he asks her, it's not nearly good but it's a start, his throat seems to be opening.

"I'm good." He hears the smile on her voice, it makes him smile too, he missed her smile, that small glimmer in her eyes when she smiled, the small wrinkles around her eyes when she smiled widely.

"Can I please visit? Tonight maybe," he hates how needy he sounds; he hates it even more that she heard it. He doesn't know why he still likes to pretend that he doesn't need her more than oxygen. She doesn't respond right away and he hears his heart beat loudly in his ears, "Tom," the way she tells his name it makes his heart ache, he doesn't know why but he does know that she doesn't sound ready to see him yet.

"There are a lot of things I want to tell you, but I can't do it over the phone, please." She silent for a moment, probably thinking what she should say eventually she tells him "Sure, Penny will be delighted to see you." Her voice unsure, shaky, her answer makes a few tears escape from his eyes. "I missed you all so much."

"Yeah, we did too." there's a short lived silence between them, she says his name "Tom," he can imagine what she wants to say next so he stops her.

"I understand, and you were right. You were absolutely right Alex." He knows he shocked her with what he said; her silence was enough to tell him that.

"I'll see you tonight." He tells her, her laugh, short and warm fills his ears, before she responds, "We'll be waiting."

Kendra was sitting next to him on the couch he could barely withhold his excitement as he told her that Alex agreed to let him visit.

"So you're going to camp David?" she asks him, he nodes his head in excitement, biting his lower lip tightly, "Yes, I'm ready, I need to tell her the truth, she deserves that much," he says, Kendra nods she doesn't want to appear rude but she needs to remind him about the elections too.

"You have to ask her about the elections too." She tells him he nods and turns to look at her, his eyes shining with such happiness she never had seen before.

"Yeah, I will, that's it end of the line I guess." She smiles and reaches out for his hand, "It's long overdue." She tells him, her tone reassuring all small parts of him that were screaming it wasn't a good time. He looks at her, a smile on his lips and with a new found air of confidence around him he tells her, "It is."

Tom barely managed to get off marine one when Penny run up to him, "Daddy!" he wrapped his arms around her tightly, looking up Alex and Leo were just walking out of the house.

"Hey little pea." He pulls back and studies her for the first time in a while, "My god you've grown so much!" she stands proudly, both hands on her waist, as if she's trying to make herself seem taller, "I've learned calligraphy." She boasts, Tom looks at her with a smile on his face, but his heart was breaking, he should be there and yet since taking office he missed so many things from their lives. It makes him think if running again is even worth it.

"You did?" she nodes her head with pride just telling him, "Aha!"

"Good! You have to show me!" he takes her hand and they walk to Alex and Leo who had stopped at the entrance giving them some time, Penny looks at Mike, "Is that pizza?" she asks, Mike smiles at her wide open eyes, staring at the boxes.

"Yeah, and there's a plain cheese just for you." Mike barely manages to lower the boxes to her high when Penny just took all of them and started running the few steps to the house screaming, "LEO DADDY BROUGHT PIZZA!"

"Be careful running!" Alex yells as Penny was running to the kitchen. "How was the flight?" she asks him when he's close, Tom can't help himself and he reaches for her arm, "Was good." He stops for a moment, he doesn't know why but he tells her, "We have a lot to talk."

"Later." She stops him, Alex wants to savor this moment, maybe they could pretend for a while that nothing was wrong, they both knew that this night would be long, that they both had to talk about issues that would make them uncomfortable and put them through turmoil, they both knew that, that's why Tom simply agreed, "Later."

A/N: Thanks for reading hope you guys liked it next chapter is going to be a bit heavy since Tom and Alex are talking about what happened to them during the time they were apart but it's getting much better after that!

Sneak Peek:

After they finished eating, their mothers offered to let Penny and Leo have a sleepover with them in their cabin. Tom and Alex had the house to themselves, neither of them knew how to feel about it, or even what to say, for a long time they were just sitting in the living room, side by side but barely touching…