Chapter the Second, in Which a Murder is Witnessed.

The horseback journey to his meeting was surprisingly comfortable, physically at least, from Commander Vimes' point of view. Given how busy he is, Death has to keep a good horse, and Binky fulfils that need well.

What was not so reassuring was what was going on in his mind, almost below the level of consciousness. A familiar hissing voice made itself heard.

'I can't follow where you are going. If it's any consolation, I expect to see you later.'

The strange scar on his arm burned for a moment as a presence left them. Clearly the Summoning Dark didn't want to be party to this meeting. It had sounded almost...scared ?

'He'th in a bad way, he'th burning up and I don't like the thound of thothe lungth. Thith ith probably time to employ the Frankenwurtht Prothedure.'

'Do what you have to Doctor Igor, Doctor Frankenwurst's work is still new, but if it's the best chance we have of saving the Commander, we need to do it, no matter how invasive.'

The second voice was Doctor Lawn. He sounded worried. Vimes felt something uncomfortable inside his chest. He chose to ignore it.

A bald old man met them as they rode up to the door. If he tuned out the carpet slippers, baggy trousers, old – fashioned collarless shirt and scruffy waistcoat, Vimes realized the figure bore a remarkable resemblance to an ancient statue he'd seen at Unseen University.

'Commander Vimes, eh ? You got the boss, not some young valkyrie. You're privileged, but hanging on to his waist can't have been as much fun.' The old man's grin was almost a leer.

'ENOUGH, ALBERT. LOOK AFTER BINKY FOR NOW, BUT EXPECT US BACK QUITE SOON.'

'Any hints as to the final destination, master.'

'ALBERT YOU ARE INCORRIGIBLE, BUT EVEN I DO NOT KNOW THIS TIME. IT'SONE OF THOSE 'ON THE EDGE' SITUATIONS WHERE I HAVE TO BE PRESENT, BUT MUST LEARN THE OUTCOME IN DUE COURSE.'

Vimes took in the garden, then the hallway as they entered Death's house and approached the study. The décor leaned heavily towards the colour black. And funereal motifs. A jarring note was the umbrella stand in the hallway. Beside its contents of two umbrellas, also stood a sheathed sword. Vimes commented on this as Death propped up his scythe next to them.

'MY OTHER WORKING TOOL. I LEFT IT BEHIND OUT OF DEFERENCE TO YOUR VIEWS ON ROYALTY. WE NOW MOVE ON TO WHY WE ARE HERE.'

They approached a closed door. Death knocked politely. On his own study door.

'Enter,' said a voice you could tell was used to authority but showed hints of weariness.

The two of them walked into the study.

'Do take a seat, and we can proceed.'

As he sat down opposite the desk, he noted that it bore a crystal ball, with an image of an office paused in it, but it was slightly blurred so he could not make it out clearly.

'Keep pumping pleathe Doctor Lawn. Hith condithion ith thtablilthing ! We may well be on the way to thuctheth !'

Vimes's chest felt like he'd just inhaled a hot billow of smoke from a building fire. Then he was pulled back to the matter in hand as it dawned on him who the figure seated behind the desk was.

It appeared to be a dignified, neatly bearded elderly man with his eyes bandaged. This could be misleading, but there were several disembodied eyeballs floating around the room, which confirmed the identity of the seat's occupant.

It was Blind Io, king of the gods.

It looked very much as if he was wearing a Watch uniform. He spoke again.

'I can keep this from the Pantheon, but not from you Commander. I am here to consult with you on a serious matter. Even the priests of my faith here suspect something of how I entered this reality with rather a blot on my career record.'

'Let us say I was charged with guarding an important artefact. Those in charge thought me ideally suited to the task. I was so confident nobody would dare steal it or get past my eyes that I fell asleep on duty and the object was stolen.'

'I was disgraced and dismissed of course. The gods of that pantheon passed around a bizarre story about a peacock's tail, rather than admit they'd actually banished me as well.'

'Let's face matters squarely. Situations are always capable of taking a Watchman, even me, by surprise. The crystal ball depicts a situation in one of Roundworld's possibilities. If you look into it, I'll roll what happened for you.'

Vimes looked into the image, which cleared and began running. He was surprised that the men in the vision appeared to be speaking Morporkian, either that or something was translating it directly into his brain. It wasn't a comfortable feeling. Yet another reason to avoid using magic in the Watch.

Blind Io was providing a running commentary in addition to the voices coming from the crystal.

'Note the uniforms, Commander. Quite unlike our own. Light coloured trousers and a dark frock coat. They also use a reinforced top hat on patrol. Their government had good reason to make them look more like civilians and less like soldiers than we do.'

'The man who isn't in uniform is a prisoner who insisted on his local right to be interviewed by the chief of police. He was arrested the day before, rascally drunk and in charge of a roll of stolen carpet.'

Vimes watched in horror as the prisoner swiftly rose from his seat, seized a poker from the fireplace and struck a man he took to be the police chief on the head with it. (1)

'That is the second example I wanted to show you of a situation taking a Watchman by surprise. Everybody thought that in his wretched hung – over condition, the prisoner would present no danger.'

(1)This really happened. See the 1844 murder of Chief Constable Henry Solomon in Brighton.