Chapter the Third, in Which an Offer is Made.

A voice like tombstones dropped into the mind interjected as Vimes tried to grasp what Blind Io's purpose in summoning him here might be.

'I MADE SURE THAT QUOTH AND THE RAT ARE OUT ON AN ERRAND. THAT WE WERE TO DISCUSS THINGS TAKING WATCHMEN BY SURPRISE BROUGHT ME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT ONE MORE POTENTIAL SURPRISE SHOULD BE AVOIDED.

'I appreciate the thought Mr Death, a raven and floating eyeballs is always asking for an unseemly accident. I should have thought of that. I had an experience in that direction and have no wish to repeat it.'

The athpirathion, cauterithathion and regenerathion have worked ! He'll pull through !(1)

Vimes blinked. Where was he? There was a fleeting impression of a hospital room, then his attention was back in this strange study, beyond the normal boundaries of time and space

'Now we come to the point of this meeting. There is a title I would rather relinquish, Commander, and I know you are worried about being able to adequately oversee your son's career. I have the opportunity to offer you that title and the ability to provide Constable Vimes with life long protection. What say you ? I offer no compulsion here. Apotheosis is usually voluntary'

Vimes was taken aback.

I think he'th coming round ! You did well to bring him in tho promptly conthable, hith lungth were in a right meth ! Now we have to clear up the equipment, it can take thome people amith when they thee it.

'You want to make me God of Watchmen ? I have to respectfully turn that down, sir. This is my choice, and I choose to remain among the command I am responsible for, my family and my friends. I will not abandon what time I may have left among them.'

'I have to accept your choice, and it is commendable but please note there may come a time when the sands have run out, that the appointment may not be voluntary. The respect of your peers might see to that. (2) I would take my leave now. You may return to the lands of the living.'

A tall cowled skeleton and a Watchman withdrew to the hallway, then to the garden, where Albert was minding the horse of the Grim Reaper.

'As one professional to another, might I enquire as to how much time I do have left.'

'AS ONE PROFESSIONAL TO ANOTHER, I AM NOT AT LIBERTY TO DISCLOSE THAT INFORMATION, BUT YOU DO NOT NEED TO PUT YOUR AFFAIRS IN ORDER JUST YET.'

'THE COMMANDER IS GOING HOME ALBERT, THERE IS NO FINAL DESTINATION. THIS TIME.'

The ride back to the Lady Sybil Hospital was, as ever with Binky on duty, uneventful and comfortable. They stopped in the smog just out of sight of the doors. There was a hint of dawn in the murk.

'I DON'T THINK GOING IN WITH YOU WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA. THERE'S EVEN A PAINTING TO THAT EFFECT SOMEWHERE. (3) I WOULD BE SURPRISED IF WE DON'T MEET AGAIN AT SOME POINT.'

Death faded into insubstantiality as Vimes walked towards the doors. Another shift in his consciousness occurred.

He blinked, and opened his eyes. He was propped half up in a hospital bed, Young Sam and Sybil looking anxiously at him. Out of the corner of his eye he caught a glimpse of a trolley piled with strange equipment being wheeled out of the door of the room. He decided not to look too closely.

'I'm glad to be back,' he said, 'and I've just had the strangest dream.'

Then an unwelcome voice returned to his mind.

'I look forward to catching up with your experiences, my brother in darkness.'

(1)This is Doctor Igor's area of expertise. I'm not even going to ask.

(2)The Grand Duchess Annagovia of Borogravia came close to apotheosis this way.

(3)I think there is, of a doctor wrestling Death for the life of his patient. Can't find it, dammit !