Hellloooo everyone!
Look at that, this is me actually puclishing a chapter when I said I would (well, there was a small delay but I had a terrible headache)!
So, yeah, good news is I also really worked during my train rides last week end (god bless the one who invented trains, it's sooo the best place to write) so I'm happy (even if I didn't manage to write a one shot).
To finish a big thank you to the few people reviewing this story and supporting me! Love you!
Big love to my Beta too :)
Enjoy the chapter & leave a little review if you want!
Chapter 4:
Merlin had been on his way to eat lunch with Arthur when Luke had come running towards him. It appeared as if he had been running a long time as, when he finally slid to a stop in front of the warlock, he breathed heavily, hands on his knees.
"Mer… Merlin." He tried to say.
"It's alright Luke, first get your breath back."
The boy nodded and after another minute or two looked up.
"There's an old woman in the physician's chambers. She was looking for Gaius." He finally announced.
Merlin felt his whole world freeze around him as his own breath fled from him. And he was almost certain that his face turned a few shade paler.
"Merlin? Are you alright?" Luke asked, his worried voice shaking Merlin from his dazed state.
"What did she look like? What did you tell her?" He answered, completely ignoring the other man's concern.
"I don't know… She was my height, white hair. Nothing special really… I told her about the physician's passing and she had some kind of panic attack… She wanted to know what happened and I thought it would be best if you explain it to her."
Merlin nodded, feeling numb with shock and dread. He had an idea who the old woman could be and he suddenly realized that he should have known that this would happen one day, realized he should have found her and told her that her love was dead and had been for a very long time.
He didn't wait any longer before taking off towards the physician's chambers, barely registering Luke's footsteps following his.
It took almost no time for them to arrive in front of the well-known wooden doors.
Merlin would be lying if he later said he didn't have to force himself not to run away.
He was petrified by the prospect of seeing Alice again. Of facing the woman he had condemned to death, forced into exile and, deprived of precious years with her lover.
For a moment, he thought he might suffocate with guilt but forced himself to continue. He would face her ire. He deserved it anyway.
He opened the door and, even if he had guessed it was her, couldn't stop the shock he felt from seeing her, nor the sadness that rose in him once more.
He forced a breath through his strangled throat.
"Alice." He uttered softly before shaking himself from his motionless state and advancing into the room, telling Luke to leave them alone in words he wouldn't remember later.
"Merlin." She answered, her voice strangely emotionless despite the fact that her eyes were still shining with the tears she had shed and more that still threatened to spill.
He came to sit in front of her and waited for her to speak. He didn't know what to say.
"Is it true? Is he really… Dead?" She finally questioned after the longest of time, her voice steady but so sad that Merlin felt his heart being ripped apart once more.
He couldn't stop his flinch at the word and instead let his gaze fall to where his hands were tightly clenching his knees, unwilling to face her grief, and nodded.
He heard her gasp and knew what her next question would be.
And, indeed, she asked him what happened. He didn't want to tell her, didn't want to bring those memories back but he knew he had no other choice. She, at least, deserved to hear the truth if she so wanted.
He had to fight with all his might to get the words out, blinking endlessly to keep his tears at bay and when he finished he could see how heartbroken Alice was.
And then he saw the awaited ire enter her eyes.
"And you? Where were you?" She questioned, her icy tone sending his muscles into a painful clench.
He opened his mouth to answer but no words got out. He looked down once more, letting a tear escape.
"I… I was forced to run away with Arthur… He… He needed my protection." He tried to justify but knew how lame it all sounded, in front of Alice.
"And Gaius didn't?" She asked, her voice cutting through him as efficiently as any blade, bringing back the guilt he had battled with for so long, and thought he had overcome.
He didn't know what to say because what she said was true. Gaius had needed his help and he hadn't given it to him. Hadn't even taken the time to check on him.
"I'm… I'm sorry…" He forced himself to say even if he knew that would never be enough.
"You're sorry?" Alice cried out, getting up angrily and for a moment Merlin thought she would strike him.
But she seemed to change her mind and sat down heavily once more.
He saw her open her mouth from the corner of his eyes but she was interrupted by the door opening behind Merlin.
"Ah! There you are!" The voice of Arthur interrupted, sounding like his usual annoyed self. Merlin didn't know if he was relieved or absolutely panicked that the king was here.
He seemed to sense the tense ambiance in the room and Merlin heard him take a step forward.
"Merlin?" He added and the warlock refused to turn towards him, hiding his face and keeping silent.
He knew that if he opened his mouth now Arthur would know what happened and he really didn't want to talk with the other man for the moment.
In fact, he very much wanted to just get out of here.
He forced a deep breath into his lung to keep his emotions in check before answering.
"I think we will have to cancel our lunch, Arthur. Sorry."
And with that he got up from his chair and crossed the room, keeping his eyes firmly on the ground, praying that no one would stop him.
"But where are you going? I thought you were with a patient…" Arthur said but Merlin ignored him as he was already at the door.
Once in the corridor, he ran and didn't stop until he was in his chambers, doors firmly and magically locked behind him.
And only then did he let himself cry the tears that had wanted to fall since he saw Alice's accusatory look.
He glanced around the empty room and suddenly felt unfit to be in it and only a few minutes after arriving, found himself running out again, this time going outside.
He crossed paths with various knights and servants who greeted him but he ignored them, keeping on running until he was in the forest.
When he arrived in the clearing, Aithusa was there and looked up at him with worry shining in her big dark eyes. She wasn't old enough to speak for at least another year but Merlin understood that she was wondering why he was so sad.
He stopped short, surprised, but finally sighed, letting himself fall down to sit on the ground.
Aithusa immediately walked towards him and put her head on his knees, nudging his side. Merlin put his hand on her head, slowly caressing it, feeling like crying again because he didn't deserve her kindness when he barely have time to spend with her between all his court responsibilities.
"I'm sorry I didn't come to see you earlier." He finally said.
The dragon eyed him with what could be described as a frown before shaking her head and shuffling closer to him, her warmth comforting the warlock.
He sighed and hugged her, burying his face into her scales and wishing he could just go back in time.
Yes, this was me indulging myself in fluff and bringing Aithusa back because I bloody loooove this dragon!
What do you think?