Chapter 4: Dumpster Diving

Jake is bummed because he didn't get Marie's full name and phone number, so he turns to his best friend Nick for advice.

Nick plopped himself on the park bench and sipped his coffee. "Where's Judy?" the raccoon sitting next to him in the dark grey suit asked while he tightened his yellow and grey checkered tie.

"Carrots went over to talk to one of the shop owners who's been yipping about some teens hanging around the square in the afternoons," Nick replied before he shifted his gun belt and loosened his uniform's tie.

Jake had spent most of the morning jogging back and forth in the park across the road from the Regency Hotel, his home since he saved Mister Big that fateful day. He started jogging at five and finally staggered back into the hotel lobby around eight. "She never showed," he sighed in dejection. "I ran my tail off all morning and no sign of her. You know how much I hate to run because we coons aren't made for running."

"Ah, the things we do for love!" the fox chuckled before he patted his best friend on his back.

"So now what should I do?"

"Keep running or you could report your fancy medal as stolen and we could put out an APB for her arrest."

"I want to take her out on a date, not have her arrested!" Jake snapped in disbelief. "Gee kits, how did I meet your mom? I HAD HER ARRESTED!"

"Calm down Jake, I was only joking!" Nick laughed as he held his paws upward in mock surrender. "What is it about this girl that has you twisted around so much?"

"I don't know? I've never met someone like her before, she's pretty and charming. Her voice has that cute southern accent and she calls me Sugar! I've never been called Sugar by anyone before."

"I'll tell you what you need to do! Go down to River Street tonight, hire and hump Meredith. She'll help you forget about this girl in no time."

"Not helping, fox! What a screwed-up life I've got when a cop tells the guy on probation to break the law by paying for sex."

"I was just thinking outside of the box! Seriously, what is going on between you and Meredith? You told me you proposed to her not that long ago."

"Heh, she keeps saying no," Jake replied with a grin. "I don't know what I'd do if she ever said yes, since we don't really love each other in that way. Last time I asked, she said she would only marry me if I let her have lots of affairs."

"Wait, she said she'd marry you if you'd let her cheat?"

"It gets worse! She said as a lady of the evening, she likes variety and would get bored with only having sex with me every night. So I asked her that if she got to cheat on me, could I fool around on her too?"

The fox smiled at his friend's unwillingness to call the wildcat a prostitute and instead used the old moniker 'lady of the evening', as if that made her career nobler. "Wait, let me guess? She said no." he chuckled.

"Bingo!" the raccoon replied. "She told me that a great marriage has no cheaters, a good marriage can only have one cheater, and a marriage with two cheaters isn't a marriage at all."

"Why is that even making sense?"

"Because I hang out with hook…ah, ladies of the evening and you're a cop. Between the two of us, we've seen it all."

"Not as much as the wildcat."

"So here's my husband, Zootopia's role model for foxes, sitting around on his lazy butt and sipping coffee with known criminals," Judy suddenly said from behind them.

The fox was so startled that he just about dropped his coffee. "Sneaky rabbit!" he yipped.

"Lazy fox," she replied with a grin. "Now get up before I ticket you for loitering."

"The kind officer was giving me advice," Jake scoffed.

"I heard," she said as she pointed to her ears. "Telling you to hire a hooker is not good advice, either from a cop or a friend."

"Prude!" the raccoon laughed.

"Eeupp!" the rabbit chuckled. "But since when did you pay attention to common sense?"

"Hey, I'm an uncommon kind of guy! Now go away and let us big boys talk, let us do some of that male bonding stuff."

"I'm sure that I can come up with a valid reason to taser you."

"Give her a few moments and she'll get out the fancy telescoping taser baton you gave her for her birthday," Nick observed as he stood up and stretched. "It's back to the beat for me."

"Yeah, I'm heading to the office myself," Jake replied.

"Since when do you go to the office?" Judy asked. "I thought Ratzolli said you were a disruptive influence?"

"It is my company," the raccoon answered in mock horror. "At least my name is still on the door. Besides Jerry is cleaning up my phone, it seems that I downloaded a virus."

"Stay off those porn and fan fiction sites," Nick chuckled before he gave his friend a fist bump.

Judy just shook her head when she gave him a hug before they parted ways.

The raccoon arrived at his office and sat down at his desk, it was a very professional-looking office. The walls were painted a calming light green, a maple desk and several dark green woven fabric chairs of various sizes, a couple of bookcases with books that Jake had never read, and photos of the raccoon with clients and other famous Zootopians, including a photo with the singer Gazelle. Various plaques and awards from charities or trade groups adorned the walls. On his desk was a phone, along with a fancy pen set next to a small pile of papers. There was also a laptop he had never seen before on the desk.

"Hey Betty, what's all this stuff on my desk?" he yelled to the petite little mouse sitting in front of Jimmy Ratzolli's office.

"They are props, boss! We had a customer stop by earlier today and Mister Ratzolli wanted it to look like you actually worked here," she replied with a giggle. "Your cell phone is in the top drawer."

Jake pulled the repaired phone out and began checking his messages, a few calls from Fru Fru and another from an old associate. There was also a surprising message from Tails.

"Yo boss, that squeeze youz was looking for came by to see youz and she's got your medal. Her phone number is…" then the message was cut off.

The raccoon about fell out of his chair, he quickly jumped up and ran to the door. "Betty, is Tails here?" he called out.

"He's at lunch, Jake, and should be back in thirty minutes," the mouse replied.

Betty gave out a startled squeak when the raccoon agilely leapt over her desk and ran frantically towards the tech department.

The tailless brown rat was surprised when he returned to find his boss pacing back and forth near his desk. "Tails, do you still have the phone number of the girl who came by this weekend?" the raccoon begged.

"Naw, I wrote it on a slip of paper after I left youz a message," he answered. "Youz didn't call her?"

"No, Jimmy was fixing my phone and the message got cut off! Tell me you still got it!"

"Sorry boss, I tossed it in the break room trash can and they took the trash out this morning."

Ten frantic minutes later, Jake and Tails stood in the office's back alleyway and stared at the large green rusted rectangle box. "I can't believe I'm doing this?" the raccoon cursed while he stripped off his jacket and tie. Climbing the dirty metal, he dropped himself onto the sacks of trash inside the container. His ears twitched at the click of a cell phone camera. "Don't you dare! Delete that photo now!" he snapped at the grinning rat.

Unbeknownst to him, most of his employees were watching the whole event over the building's cameras and laughing while they watched their boss, a raccoon, began digging through the dumpster's trash bags.

A rumble came down the alley when one of the city's trash trucks approached the bin, sending the tailless rat frantically waving for the truck to stop. Two raccoons in grey overalls climbed out of the cab, one was a beefy-looking guy, and he yelled up at Jake, "Get the hell out of there, coon!"

"Go away! I'm looking for something important!" Jake answered. "Come back later."

"Ain't gonna happen, asshole!" the other raccoon called back. "Now get out before I drag your skinny tail out of there."

"What's he looking for?" the other raccoon asked Tails.

"The phone number of a real cute chick who lives somewhere around here," the rat answered with a grin.

"Hey Tony, didn't you have a date not long ago with a coon who lived around here, a hot looker…what was her name?" the raccoon called over to his partner.

"The bitch was named Marie Millbrooks," the beefy raccoon huffed. "I took her to a nice restaurant and she wouldn't even let me cop a feel. She's a real prick teaser, I spent all that money and went all ice queen on me."

Jake's head popped out of the bin. "You said her name is Marie?" he asked. "Is she cute with a Southern accent?"

"Yup, why?"

"Do you still got her number?"

"It's in my phone, but you can't have it, asshole."

"Why not?" his partner asked. "Give the guy a break!"

"She's a bitch, that's why!" Tony growled.

"Don't call her that!" Jake snapped.

"Make me!" the beefy raccoon laughed. "She's a bitch! Bitch!" BITCH!

Tails was surprised at how fast the snarling raccoon vaulted out of the bin and landed in front of Tony. The larger raccoon took a clumsy swing at Jake, who blocked it and quickly twisted the other raccoon's paw up and behind his back. His hindpaws lashed out sending Tony sprawling muzzle-first onto the street. "Now what were you saying about Marie?" Jake growled.

"Nothing dude, she's all yours if you want her," the beefier raccoon whimpered.

Tony's partner watched the other two coons with amusement. "I always told Tony that one day he'd push around the wrong coon," he scoffed to Tails. "So today's that day. Give him her phone number, so we can get back to work."

"Sure, just get off me!" Tony groaned. He pulled out his cell phone and told Jake the phone number. Since he didn't have any paper, Jake wrote it on his dress shirt sleeve. "Are we square?"

"We're square," Jake answered before he offered his paw to help the other raccoon up.

"Coon, I box in the medium mammal division and have never been taken down so fast," Tony said while he rubbed his wrist. "I'm impressed."

"Sorry I had to do you like that," Jake replied with a shrug. Slapping a twenty into the other coon's paw, he added. "Have a few beers on me tonight."

When he entered the office Jake heard the cheers from his employees. "You saw that?" he asked Betty.

"Sorry, Jake, but we are a security company and so we have cameras all over," the mouse giggled.

"Everyone saw me in the trash?" the raccoon sighed as his ears drooped.

"Oh yes," she nodded while she gave him a big grin.

Jake shook his head while he walked into his office.

"Are you okay, sir?" Betty asked.

"I just have to make an important phone call," he answered before he closed his office door. "A very important phone call."