Hello my dear readers,
First things first, let me wish you all a wonderful year 2015! I hope it will bring you everything you want, love, inspiration, whatever makes you happy and I hope that your dreams will come true!
Once more, thanks to my fantastic Beta for her fantastic word and to you for reading me and still keeping this fandom alive, even after 2 years.
I hope you will like this chapter! Don't hesitate to leave a review, good or bad, just tell me what you think/wish.
Enjoy!
Chapter 6:
Gwaine strode from one corridor to the next, stopping everyone from servant to noble man but mostly targeting the former as he knew they would be the more likely to notice the one they all considered an example, to ask if they have seen Merlin.
Most of them hadn't, but eventually he found a young, and stunningly beautiful, maid who answered his question in the positive.
"Oh, yes, I passed him about an hour ago when I was making my way to the laundry room… Why? Has something happened to him?" She asked, obviously worried. "He did seem somewhat pale and disturbed."
"No, no! Don't worry. I'm sure he's fine." He quickly lied, hoping to stop rumors from spreading. "Do you know which way he went?"
"It looked like he was heading outside but I can't be sure…"
"Okay, thanks beauty!" He answered before turning back and heading to the stables.
If Merlin had decided to leave the castle, then Gwaine knew exactly where the young man was.
Half an hour later and Gwaine was loosely attaching his horse to a tree just outside a familiar clearing.
Progressing slowly for the last few feet, he tried to prepare himself for what he would encounter next.
He hadn't known that Gaius had had a fiancée and wondered what she could have told Merlin.
Finally, he entered the sunlit space to find Merlin sitting there, motionless, with Aithusa lying next to him, her head in his lap.
Gwaine approached carefully and the white dragon looked up to eye him curiously. The movement seemed to shake Merlin from whatever trance he had been in because he turned to see what had disturbed the dragon.
"Oh. It's you Gwaine." He commented before turning back to Aithusa but not before the knight had the time to see the redness of his eyes.
"Hello Merlin. Care if I join you?" He asked, forcing himself to keep his tone as cheery as usual despite the ball of uneasiness that sat heavily in his stomach.
"You will even if I say no." The younger man observed in a tired voice. "So you might as well make yourself comfortable."
The tone clearly indicated that Merlin would have preferred to be left alone but Gwaine wasn't about to do what his friend thought was best because he knew it wasn't the case.
So Gwaine sat in front of Merlin, careful not to disturb Aithusa.
The dragon shuffled towards him.
"Hello Aithusa." The knight greeted, petting the dragon and going so far as to fish an apple he had in his pocket and giving it to the dragon who seemed very happy about the attention.
"You're going to spoil her." Merlin complained softly, like he did every time Gwaine offered food to the young dragon.
"Well, she likes it." Gwaine smiled, petting the dragon once more before she turned back to Merlin and nudging him as if to apologize for leaving him.
Merlin sighed and put his hand on her head, a silent conversation obviously going on between them.
The silence that then fell seemed to last for a long time as Gwaine was determined not to push Merlin for the answers he craved. Instead, he forced himself to act relaxed and care-free and let himself lie down on the ground, eyes fixed on the sky while still keeping his friend in his line of sight.
There was no denying the young warlock had been deeply upset by whatever had been said to him. And that worried Gwaine more than the knight cared to admit.
There was also no denying that he felt as if Merlin were his younger brother he wanted to protect him. Ideally, he would like to take his friend's suffering upon himself and never let Merlin anywhere near anything even remotely dangerous. Nonetheless, he knew that such a fear wasn't possible and past deeds could not be rewritten, no matter how much you wanted to.
As Gwaine pondered Merlin's life and trials, the sun continued its course through the sky and so over an hour passed before the young warlock finally spoke again.
"You're not going to ask what happened?" He said, sounding curious but resigned.
"Only if you want to tell me." Gwaine answered, only slightly inclining his head towards his friend, eyes squinting against the sun that was streaming directly into them at that angle.
Merlin sighed, looking like he was debating with himself about it. The knight had to make a conscious effort not to appear too impatient to know.
Finally, Gwaine saw him square his shoulders and tense them while not stopping the rubbing motion he made against Aithusa's white scales.
"I guess I should have known this would happen one day." Merlin began, his voice tired.
"What?" Gwaine prompted, even if he knew the basics.
"Alice came back." The warlock answered as if it was an explanation the knight would understand.
"Who's Alice?" He asked.
For a second, Merlin looked surprised.
"Oh… Yes, I suppose I should explain that… Alice is… was Gaius' fiancée. They were about to get married before the Great Purge… But, well, she was well known as a magic healer… Gaius helped her escape and decided to remain in Camelot so he would be able to help others survive…"
The warlock trailed off, his gaze momentarily lost in the past before he visibly shook himself.
"They didn't see each other for twenty years and then she came back to Camelot. But she was under the influence of a magic creature and tried to kill the king… I had to report her and she was once more arrested. He helped her escape again and once more remained in Camelot… And now… He is dead. And it's my fault they couldn't have been together then and now."
Merlin concluded and Gwaine saw him blink tears away.
The knight didn't know what to say. He had never thought about Gaius having a private life. And the tale Merlin told was heart breaking.
With a weary sigh he pushed himself back to a sitting position to observe the young man in front of him.
"We've been over this many times Merlin, but I will repeat it to you this time and as many other times as necessary until it sticks in you thick magical skull: what happened to Gaius was not your fault." He enunciated, making sure that Merlin was listening to him, or at least hearing him.
Merlin just shook his head sadly, looking away.
"She said… She didn't understand why I didn't try harder to save him… And my only reply was that Arthur needed me… How meager does that sound! I got her love killed and my only excuse is that I was too busy saving the son of the man that persecuted and exiled her!"
And now the anger was back in the young man's tone, making Gwaine shiver. God Merlin can be scary when he's angry, the knight thought.
Even Aithusa seemed a bit afraid as she looked up at Merlin. She tried to nudge him again but he ignored her, instead pushing himself up and pacing angrily.
The small dragon looked lost at the change in her dragonlord and stayed motionless.
"Don't worry." Gwaine told her, remembering that Merlin had explained that she could understand him, and placing his hand comfortingly on her head. "I'll take care of him, yeah?"
The dragon looked up at him before nodding.
Gwaine pushed himself up too and stopped Merlin mid pace.
"Stop that Merlin. You had no other choice and you know it. And if this Alice doesn't understand that then it's her loss. She knows nothing about you or your relationship with Gaius. She has no right to judge you and neither should you be so hard on yourself, okay?"
Merlin still wasn't looking at him but Gwaine could see the tears that were now falling. He sighed and stepped forward putting his arms around Merlin and hugging him strongly.
"You did the right thing Merlin." He repeated for the umpteenth time in the last six months. "You did the right thing."
Yes, I couldn't stop myself from being dear Aithusa back. I just love this little dragon far too much.
Until next time!