Hello everyone!

So, once more, it feels like an eternity since I last posted a chapter here. I really, truly, honestly am sorry.

Is the fact that I have spent the time writing a one shot for my What Could Have Been collection enough of an excuse? (well, okay, I also spent far too much time catching up with Arrow and The Flash. Couldn't help myself, the DC fandom just kidnapped me...)

I do hope that there are still people reading this and enjoying this. I'd love to hear from you all ;)

Not much more to say except to thank you readers and also my wonderful Beta :)

Enjoy !

Chapter 17:

Alice had been going over and over what the young king had told her, asking herself the same endless questions. Could she do it? Could she stay in Camelot and take over Gaius' work? Could she trust the son of Uther Pendragon? Could she forgive Merlin?

She still had no clear answers to those questions when the knock came at the door and two guards entered.

"We've been instructed by the king to accompany you to the council chambers." One of them said.

Time seemed to stop for Alice. She knew she had to decide. Now.

She took a deep breath and nodded.

During the walk through Camelot's white-stoned corridors, Alice somehow came to a decision. She wasn't absolutely sure it was a good one but it was one she was willing to try and so she entered straight-backed into the council room.

She stopped at the table in front of the royal couple and bowed respectfully before gratefully sitting at the king's invitation.

The council first question was the one she had expected and she was prepared to answer it. What she hadn't been prepared for was Arthur backing her up. So she was completely surprised when he interrupted the raising voices at her declaration that she would not stop using magic.

"May I remind you that magic is free in this land. Therefore I can only see benefits to having a court physician that is well versed in those arts. It would also be a sign to the people that we do trust magic users and that the time of fear and condemnations are well behind us."

She had to admit that even she could see the truth in his statement and was surprised to feel almost proud to be the symbol of magic's comeback at Camelot's court. She gave him a thankful glance and saw the queen smile quickly at her, a proud look in her eyes.

Next the conversation turned to her previous experience: how she had been trained and then honed her skills with Gaius before travelling in various lands during her exile where she had learned more and more healing methods."

She didn't know for how long she answered question after question but she noticed when the king lost interest and gained a faraway look in his eyes. And she also noticed how his wife had to elbow him to get him to pay attention to the here and now. She almost smiled. Indeed, Camelot had changed.

"Well, if that's all, let's vote. Who agrees to take Alice as our new court physician?"

She waited with bated breath while hand after hand lifted until a majority was up.

"Very well. That's settled then. Thank you." The king announced before turning towards her. "Alice, if you are willing we will offer you the position of court physician."

"I am my Lord." She answered solemnly.

"Very well. Adjustments will be made for you to settle in. The council is dismissed."

The lords and Alice got up and bowed but she stayed were she was, accepting the congratulations of some lord and especially of Lord Geoffroy who happily shook her hand with a smile.

"I'm glad you're back Alice." He whispered to her. "Thing just hasn't been the same without you."

"Thank you my old friend." She answered and he left her.

Next she saw the queen approaching her.

"I'm glad you decided to stay." She said.

Alice nodded. "It wasn't easy but I thought about what both you and the king said: I thought that I should trust Gaius' opinion if nothing else. And seeing you two together I now know that things have indeed changed here." She smiled softly as the queen laughed.

"Yes. You have to excuse Arthur. He's just worried about Merlin." She explained, her eyes turning sad.

"I noticed the empty seat. Is it his?"

"It is." Gwen answered, her eyes gliding towards the chair as if Merlin could suddenly appear there. "He… He was supposed to be here but… He just didn't come…"

"I can understand." Alice said. "I see now that I hadn't been very kind to him. Maybe I was a bit unjust."

The queen smiled at her.

"I'm sure he'll come round." She sounded like she was trying to convince herself. "Anyway, I don't want to keep you here if you want to go."

"Thank you my Lady." Alice said, bowing before leaving.

And then, for the first time in years, Alice found herself wandering the castle of Camelot as a free woman. Best, as a court physician. It felt weird. Especially without Gaius.

She walked slowly, observing the corridors and decorations, comparing them with her memories of the place. It hadn't much changed and yet the atmosphere felt totally different. She was crossing paths with smiling servants that were chatting happily among them and even some knight that were helping them. It felt as if some barriers had been lifted. For the better.

She finally arrived into the courtyard and stopped for a moment, simply breathing in. It was amazing how everything felt and looked the same and yet was also drastically different. And suddenly she felt excited to explore more of the castle. Turning to her left, she followed the open corridor for a few yards and then turned once more to the left through a decorated door that led her directly into the Royal Garden.

There things had very much changed. It was obvious that part of it had been left uncared for some time, judging by the wild herbs still visible in some parts of the garden but there were maids working there, chatting together as they knelt on the ground.

Alice nodded to them as she walked through the garden. She remembered how much Ygraine had loved designing this part of the castle and later spent hours simply sitting here sewing or reading, enjoying the warmth of the sun and the floral scent of the air.

The court physician inhaled deeply and, yes, there was that well known scent. She smiled softly, memories of long lost happy days flying in her mind.

She stayed for a long time in the garden but as the sun continued its way in the sky she decided that she had to finish her tour. She used the little back door leading to the field behind the castle and was surprised when, on the horizon, she saw a stone with someone sitting in the grass in front of it, head bowed.

It was too far away for her to recognize who it was but she thought that maybe something was wrong with the person and the physician in her felt compelled to make sure everything was alright.

Only when she was a few feet away did she recognize the lean frame and dark hair. Merlin. She considered turning her back and leaving but reason told her that talking to him would be ultimately unavoidable.

She approached silently and just observed him for a moment. Even if she couldn't see his expression, she could almost feel the grief and weariness in him. She cleared her throat to make her presence known and he jumped. He turned sharply and his eyes widened before he struggled to get up, stumbling a bit.

"Alice!" He exclaimed and cleared his throat as the word sounded rough. "I… Hum… I wasn't expecting you there. I'll… I'll just go."

He avoided her eyes as he began to walk past her.

"I'm sorry." Alice blurted out, effectively stopping him in his tracks.

"What?" Merlin asked, turning towards her with a curious expression on his face.

"I'm sorry for the way I talked to you yesterday." She explained, eying him and seeing the turmoil in his eyes for what it was: pain, guilt, tentative hope.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. You were only stating the truth. I left Gaius alone in a cell and he died because of it. You have every rights to be angry with me."

How horrible those words sounded when spoken in such a cold voice, Alice thought.

"That wasn't…" She began to refute but interrupting herself. It was exactly what she had said. She sighed. Merlin once more turned his back to her.

"Wait Merlin!" She waited for him to turn back towards her before speaking again. "I can't go back on what I said to you in the past but... I've spent a lot of time thinking and... If Gaius loved you so much then I am sure that you never wanted him to die."

She saw the tears in his eyes and her heart clenched painfully. However, he didn't say anything.

"And I think I have to thank you for finding me a position in the royal household." She added after a moment.

Another moment passed as he gulped a few times before speaking.

"You never should have left."

Alice nodded sadly.

So? How was it? Any good?