Chapter 20: Drunk & Orderly
Jake proves he's a gentalmammal and in love.
"Are you listening to me?' she sighed when she saw that the other raccoon's eyes were closed. She and Jake were cuddling on a park bench enjoying the early evening despite the winter cold. She had unbuttoned his black wool peacoat and had snuggled her paws against his chest for warmth. Her cheap olive drab green anorak jacket had seen better days and she was still cold despite his arms being wrapped around her.
"You're mad at boss… it's your boyfriend's fault…you think that I'm not listening," he quickly summarized the whole forty-five-minute one-way conversation they just had without opening his eyes, in fact, he looked too content.
She pulled her paws out of his jacket and with a huff, jabbed him in the ribs with her elbow, "So what do y'all think?"
"Owww...I think that you're mean to me. Who goes and pokes her boyfriend in the side like that with her bony elbows?"
"Please remind me why I love you? It's not because you're a fantastic conversationalist."
"It's because I'm dashingly handsome and have an outstanding personality. So, two out of three is not bad."
"Seriously Sugar, I've been offered a promotion, but I'm not sure I should take knowing it's only because I'm dating you?"
"Sweet Lips, do you know what percentage of this city are predators?" he asked, still with his eyes closed.
"I am not answering to being called Sweet Lips," she grumbled, "I should have known giving you that blow job was a mistake."
"You didn't answer my question," he said before he looked at her with only one eye open.
"Ten Percent!" she answered. "Just what are you doing coon?" He had closed his eye again and was now sniffing at her neck.
"Trying to remember your scent. You're going to be gone for a week."
"I'll be gone for four days! Y'all still haven't told me what you think I should do?"
He pulled her closer to his side and asked, "If you take out Tundratown and all the internationally owned businesses out of the equation, what percentage of the businesses in the city are minority-owned?"
"I don't know?" she snapped and tried to sit up, but he pulled her back against his body.
"Try just over three percent," he answered his own question. "That means ninety-seven percent are prey owned. In addition, there are no predators on the city council and none in the city's key departmental management, also all of the police and fire department top brass are prey. Do I need to go on?"
"So what are you telling me?" she replied when he released her and she sat up, her eyes searching his now open eyes. " Should take the promotion?"
"You are much more capable of handling more important accounts than are currently assigned to you," Jake answered while he reached over and caressed her cheek. "You would have already been promoted if you weren't a predator, so yeah I'm saying take it and show them what you can do."
She leaned over and kissed him deeply, snuggling back into his arms again with a sigh.
"So, Sugar Lips, are you ready for dinner?" he chuckled and then winced when she elbowed him again.
"You ruined the moment, Sugar," she giggled. "And I'm am not going to answer to Sugar Lips either."
"Just go around and SUCK all the fun out of this relationship!"
"You're BLOWING any future chance of that ever happening again."
"Okay, I get the hint," he whispered into her ear. "I'll play nice from now on."
"So what do y'all want for dinner?" She asked. "I was thinking a nice long chicken sausage or maybe one of those thick burritos full of that yummy filling that just squirts into your mouth."
"Evil!" he chuckled while he tried to get into her jacket to tickle her. "You are just evil!"
"But you love me anyway, don't you, Sugar?" she giggled while she slapped his paws away.
He gave her a long and passionate kiss as his answer.
"Have you ever been to Woody's?" he asked after a while.
"Is this a real question or are we back to the sexual innuendos again?" she asked with a grin.
"I said been to Woody's, not popped a woody!" he laughed.
She looked down at his lap and then hers before answering, "I can't pop a woody, coon, wrong gender. But y'all seem to have accomplished that again."
"That's your fault!" he shrugged. "Would I get in trouble if I called you Hot Lips?"
She looked around to see if they were alone before reaching over and squeezing his bulge. He responded with a groan. "Why yes, Sugar, you would!" she giggled.
Woody's Bar wasn't a very fancy place and was located several blocks away in an older residential area. The raccoon nodded at the beaver behind the bar as they entered. "This is a prey bar, coon," the fat bartender in the stained bowling shirt and faded jeans greeted them.
"I know and I pray that I don't get sick every time I eat here," the raccoon scoffed back while he directed Marie to a barstool.
"Jake?" she asked while glancing over at the bartender with concern.
"Marie, this is Woody, one of the few guys in school that didn't beat me up," Jake said.
"Well, it's about time you got a girlfriend. Sorry about the greeting, but it's a game that Jake and I play. He is about the only predator that comes here, not that you two coons should even be called preds."
"It's nice to meet you, Woody," Marie replied while she shook his paw.
"Can you pull me a dark ale?" Jake asked. "What would you like Marie?"
"I'd like a Zooisland Iced Tea," she replied.
"That's mighty potent," Woody laughed. "But if I was dating Jake, I'd need a stiff drink too!"
"Har…har…not funny beaver!" the male raccoon grinned.
"You want a couple of reds tonight?" the beaver asked while he mixed Marie's drink. "I've got some fresh ones in the cooler outside."
"Reds?" Marie asked.
"Red wigglers," Jake replied. "Woody makes one of the best worm burgers in the city.
"It's the seasoning!" the beaver added with a shrug. "So what you say, I'll make you up a couple of burgers and some chips?"
"Sounds good," Jake replied. "But potato and not bark chips please."
"Yeah I know that you coons don't eat bark!" the beaver laughed. "But you don't know what you're missing."
"Yes I do, it's called a stomach ache," Jake sarcastically replied.
"So, Sugar, are you up for a game of pool after we eat?" Marie asked while she looked back towards a couple of pool tables. There were two older beavers using one of the tables, but the other was empty.
"Sure why not, I haven't trounced anyone on the felt in weeks?" he grinned before they ate their burgers.
The two beavers looked them over when they entered the room. "We don't get your types around here much," one of the beavers grumbled.
"What types do you mean?" Jake calmly asked before he picked up a pool stick. He turned to face a rather muscular beaver dressed in a white tee-shirt and dark blue coveralls. His friend looked to be in his sixties and had a fairly large potbelly poking out from under his old grey tee shirt.
"I wasn't talking to you, Jake," the beaver gave him a sinister-looking grin. "I was talking to the lady. I haven't seen you down of River Street sweetheart."
"River Street?" Marie asked in confusion. "I haven't been anywhere near that place. Wait! Do y'all think I'm a prostitute?"
Jake grimaced.
"I…I just figured you were…well, you're with Jake…I...I," the beaver stuttered. "I just mean Meredith and Jake…oh shit!"
The potbellied beaver was almost doubled over with laughter.
"Quincy, she's my girlfriend!" the male raccoon snarled.
"Sorry miss!" Quincy replied. "It's just Jake and I know some of the same…ah, ladies and well?"
"Marie these two loggerheads are Quincy and Patrick," Jake said. "Patrick's the smart one."
"Nice to meet you, dear," the older beaver chuckled, wiping his eyes.
"At least let me buy you a new drink," Quincy offered.
"I don't know if…" Jake started.
"Thank you, Quincy," Marie replied. The beaver went to the bar and returned a few minutes later with her drink.
He had racked the balls as she selected a cue. "Ladies first," Jake grinned before he stepped back from the table and gave her a bow.
"Ah, my foolish but gallant knight," she giggled as she lined her shot up and tapped the cue ball down the table, breaking the balls and sending them scattering across the table. Jake winced when one of the balls went into the pocket. "Looks like I'm playing the stripes, Sugar. " She then put two more of her balls into the pockets before finally missing.
"Where did you learn to shoot like that?" Quincy asked.
"Back on the farm," she giggled when Jake missed his second shot. "We had a couple of tables in the worker's lodge, I was taught to play by some coyotes."
The male raccoon frowned as she proceeded to clean the table of all her balls and then sink the eight ball. "You owe me a drink, Sugar," She giggled.
"That was the fastest game I've ever played," Jake sighed.
Marie was on her third drink and Jake was working on his fourth beer, their next game was not quite as fast with a lot more laughing, giggling, and kissing.
"Best get these two a taxi," Quincy called to Woody while they watched the raccoons now making out in the corner.
"I think they need a room instead!" Patrick laughed.
She awoke in an unfamiliar bed the next morning and groaned from the headache she had. Snuggling further into the pillows, her eyes popped open when she sniffed the distinctive male musk that lingered in the bed. "Oh damn!" she exclaimed before she sat up and looked around in panic when she realized that this had to be Jake's hotel room! She calmed down a bit more when she saw that she still had on her panties and one of Jake's tee shirts. Pulling her underwear down, she looked and sighed in relief that she hadn't had unprotected sex, and then looking around at the hotel room, she frowned at the lack of any personal decor in the room. The dresser top had piles of tools and a couple of knickknacks, but there was no indication of the raccoon's true personality.
She unsteadily got off the bed and stumbled to the bathroom and scowled after she almost sat down before realizing the toilet lid was up. "What did you do last night?" she muttered to herself while she peed.
After washing her paws, she peeked out of the bedroom door and heard a faint snore from the den's sofa. Wandering further into the room, she saw Jake curled up on the oversized couch wearing only his underwear. He sure is cute when he sleeps, she pondered as she looked him over. She jumped when his phone buzzed and watched while he fumbled for it and answered. "Murrrmph!" he groaned. "What do you want, fox?...No...drank too much last night…I think I should have breakfast with Marie, she's in my bed…No, we did not! She was drunk and I wouldn't take advantage of her like that!... Yeah, I'll call you back later."
He stood and stretched in front of the window, his tail swishing slightly. She wanted to giggle when his paw went down the front of his undershorts while he scratched his balls. Moving towards the sofa, he picked up the throw blanket which had fallen to the floor, and then hesitated as if he had heard her. She had quietly snuck back into the bedroom and slipped into his bed, snuggling into the sheets while happily sniffing his scent on the pillows. He said that he wouldn't have taken advantage of me!" she sighed with a smile. She contently listened as he went to the kitchen and started a pot of coffee, then she heard him go into the bathroom and pee in the toilet. He turned on the shower and she was tempted to join him but knew that wasn't the way either of them wanted their first time to be like. Closing her eyes, she listened until she fell back asleep in her warm, male-scented cocoon.
He awoke her with a gentle call and handed her some coffee. "That's a good look for you," he said with a smile.
She gave him a confused look. "What do y'all mean?"
"You in my bed, it looks good," he chuckled. "I'm going downstairs so you can have some privacy to dress, I'll meet you in the dining room for breakfast."
She sat up and asked, "Did you undress me?"
"Nope, Trisha did," he chuckled. "I wouldn't have trusted myself to do that." He walked out of the bedroom and shut the door behind him.
She smiled and sighed while she snuggled deeper into his bed for a few more minutes.