Chapter 5
A/N: The chapter explores some themes that I want to hear your thoughts on. More so on the second half.
It wasn't long after the birth of Liar's Laugh that Reepicheep deemed him ready to enter the Nightmare. "Made all the easier that someone else made you a soldier beforehand," he commented.
That was the night before. Now, in the center of the clearing, stood Reepicheep, Charlie, and Azaroth, who was busy grooming her hind legs.
After a hearty breakfast (which though delicious, Charlie wondered where it came from), Reepicheep stood up, grabbed his bag and announced, "presents for the young adventurer!"
"What? Why?" asked Charlie.
"Aslan will be here soon to see us off and give valuable insight," said Azaroth. "Until then, why not?"
So, Reepicheep delved into his bag and pulled out a few things. The first was a small yellow crystal, attached to a brown leather string. "Can't have you going in all by your lonesome, can we?" said the Mouse. "This crystal will allow communication with Azaroth to help you, as she won't be by your side constantly. Think of it as a—oh, what is it that you Earthlings call it—that little plastic box with the magic staff on top…"
"A radio," Charlie said for him.
"Yes! A radio," exclaimed Reepicheep, although he pronounced the word incorrectly and Charlie didn't bother to correct him. "Anyway, use this crystal's power to talk to Azaroth like a radio, when she's not near."
Azaroth looked at him with tired eyes, as if she still needed her morning coffee. "Don't use it unless necessary," she warned. "I have other things that need doing within the Nightmare, so be as little a distraction as possible."
"Yes, yes," said Reepicheep, giddy with excitement. "Now this one's from myself—voila!" and he whipped out a Charlie's sidearm. "Chambered for the bullets used by the Nightmare's inhabitants," he explained. Reepicheep had been teaching Charlie to use firearms as a stunning blow, to catch an enemy off guard and deliver the killing blow with the sword ("A technique I came up with myself when Aslan sent me there to do His bidding," the Mouse often bragged.). Charlie accepted the gifts and then they cleaned up, for Aslan had appeared among at the clearing's edge.
"Children," the Lion thundered as He made His way over to them, "the hour has come. It is time for the young Son of Adam to descend into the Nightmare and rescue the High Queen of Narnia. But first, I have words of wisdom for each of you." Here the Lion walked directly up to the trio, and the three instinctively know to kneel.
Aslan first walked up to Reepicheep. "You have done well, noble knight. You have done as I have asked, and more."
"Thank you, My Lord, thank you," mumbled Reepicheep in awe.
"Silence. Do not grovel, and be proud. When you came to me you spoke of boredom in my Country, and to report dissatisfaction with perfection requires bravery, even in the afterlife." Aslan touched him on the forehead with His nose and said, "for now, you will return. But take heart; I will have more for you to do, when the time comes."
Aslan moved along to Charlie, and looked down upon him sternly. "You have been questioning me," He said. It wasn't a question, it was a statement of fact.
Charlie hung his head low, not wanting to meet the Lion's gaze. "That's just my nature," he said meekly. "I question everything."
Aslan lowered His massive head and forced Charlie to meet his gaze. "Questioning leads to rebellion, which leads to a life of sin," He said. Charlie simply matched the Lion's gaze, never looking down or away in a show of defiance. In his head, there was no clear understanding as to why he was being difficult, but rather somewhere deep within Charlie's soul, the little orphan boy he had always been refused to submit in any way to anything.
But under the near blinding gaze of Aslan, that little orphan boy was losing. And Charlie's eyes began to water, and he choked up; he was about to cry. It took all he had to hold it in, but it was no use. He opened his mouth to wail, but before he could, the feeling left as quickly as it had occurred. Charlie breathed a heavy sigh of relief.
Aslan rumbled in approval, then stood up and continued, "but blind faith leads to foolishness in My name. Do not lose your capacity to question, child, for it gives you great strength. Yet beware, for it can be your undoing as well." Aslan touched Charlie's forehead with His nose as He had with Reepicheep, and then moved on to Azaroth.
"Azaroth, though loyal to me, you can be a nuisance," He said. Surprisingly, she had stopped grooming herself to hear His words. "Just guide the boy through the Nightmare. Watch over him and Susan as I would Kings and Queens of Narnia."
"To hear is to obey," she said quietly. She turned to Charlie. "I must return to the Nightmare anyway," she said, "and it doesn't hurt to have help from someone who lives and prowls on the streets of the Nightmare."
"You're my intel, then."
"Indeed."
"But wait," said Reepicheep, "if you rule the Nightmare, why can't you just command the beasts that live there to grant Susan safe passage?" asked Reepicheep.
"Because I do not rule," she answered. "It is Tash who rules, and he is more powerful than myself. He can—and will—direct the masses of beasts to delay you at every turn."
"And if this Tash notices you're helping me—"
"He will destroy me. Or at least, do something to keep me out of his way."
"Such as?" asked Reepicheep.
Azaroth stood up and stretched. "He could destroy my mind, making me as feral as the beasts I watch over," she explained in an uncomfortably nonchalant tone. "Or perhaps he'd expel me from the Nightmare. Or perhaps both. In any scenario, Aslan would be left without an agent to keep an eye on Tash."
Charlie was about to ask a question (or four, or forty, as he had so many), but Aslan interrupted, "and now I see our brave Son of Adam is eager to leave and rescue his loved one. So, without further ado: Azaroth, escort him to the Nightmare."
Azaroth crouched, bared her teeth with a low growl, and pounced. Charlie had barely any time to block, but before her teeth closed around his head, the world faded to white as the Jaguar's rumbling roar echoed in his head.
Charlie awoke in a filthy alleyway, with barely enough room for him to walk with his elbows outstretched. The air smelled of blood and sweat. He was clearly in a city, like the paintings that hung in Susan's flat of London in the Victorian era, with all the buildings in a foreboding gothic architecture, looming over any and all denizens of the road below. The world seemed frozen in an unending twilight as the moon hung full and low against the backdrop of a decrepit city skyline.
The crystal around his neck pulsed once, giving off a brief warm glow. Azaroth's voice came into his head:
"Welcome to the Nightmare."
Reepicheep and Aslan stood in the clearing after they had left, just staring at the spot Charlie and Azaroth vanished from moments ago.
After a moment, Reepicheep spoke up. "You could just end it now, Sire. Reach in to the Nightmare, and with one swipe of Your great paw—"
"Did I ever, in all the history of Narnia, just right all the wrongs and force good to triumph with a mere swipe of my paw?" He interrupted.
"No…but that was different, was it not?" said Reepicheep.
"How so?"
Reepicheep thought for a moment. When he couldn't think up a good answer, Aslan continued: "Yes, I was more involved. But if I were to simply correct things with the full extent of my power, what would be the point of your existence? I would think that all my children would want some part in their own fate, do you not? And if they should choose evil in the end over good, then so be it. It happened in Charn, as well as various other realms."
Reepicheep sat down on the grass as he absorbed the information. "I see. But I have one more question…"
"Yes?"
"Susan rejected you entirely. Why save her from the Nightmare? She would have ended up there anyway, without faith."
Aslan gave a rumbling sigh. "Susan chose to live her life on Earth. And besides, in the end, her decision saved her life."
"How do You mean?"
Aslan turned to the Mouse. "Was she on the train that led her siblings back to Narnia to witness the end?"
"No," answered Reepicheep. "But that was only because she was selfishly pursuing her own interests."
"I cannot fault her for that," said Aslan, "for is doing what makes one happy truly selfish? Because if so, her 'selfishness' prevented her from boarding that doomed train."
"I'm afraid I don't understand," said Reepicheep.
"You will," said Aslan. "You always were unquestioning in my leadership, but soon you will come to understand that the act of questioning the unquestionable can be an act of faith in itself."
A/N: And there, in the second half, is the idea that spurred this entire story. Someone asked if it's possible for someone on the side of good to meet Aslan and still have doubts, and this is my answer.