Disclaimer: I do not own RWBY.
AN: Hello everyone! Aloehisja here with another chapter. Lately I've been having some trouble sleeping and it's getting to my creative juices. I almost thought of making an all lemon story titled 'Aloehisja's Lemony Snippets of Erotic Events.' It just goes to show you don't need alcohol to make bad ideas. Lack of sleep can do stuff that are f'ed up.
But enough on my sleep problems, ON WITH THE STORY!
Episode 4: It's not so bad being chibi
Driving Safety TSA
"Hi everyone." Jaune waved to the scroll Sun was holding. Next to him, Ren stood in a dignified manner. "It's Ren and Jaune live here from Beacon Academy bringing to you this driving TSA."
"Many civilians think that hunters and huntresses would rely more on Bullheads to get to our destinations, but that's not true." Ren said next, pulling out a chart. "Statistics show that if a hunter does have a license and vehicle, they prefer to drive than use a constant public transport."
"You're probably wondering 'Why are we giving a TSA on this?'" The blonde said next while pointing to the camera. "Well since hunters get into a whole lot of trouble and can shrug off most wounds that could kill a normal person, we think it's important to remind our fellow hunters and huntresses on the importance of driving safety."
At this Ren pulled another chart behind the first one.
"Statistics show that besides Grimm killings, vehicular accidents are the second largest fatalities to hunters and huntresses." Ren said with concern while pulling another chart out. "The two major causes coming from DUI and unsafe practices like texting while driving and… errhm 'extreme sexual practices.'"
"Which is pretty dumb if you ask me." Jaune shook his head with Sun agreeing behind the camera. "I mean, really?! Do you want this to be you?"
Jaune pulled a picture out of his pocket and had Sun zoom on it. It was a car that was smashed into telephone pole like an accordion with the dead driver's head poking out with pants down and scroll out. On the side was a woman with a mangled body with her naughty bits being censored.
"That is a horrible way to go." Ren shivered, not liking the sight. Even a Grimm death is preferable to dying by stupidity.
"What'chu guys doing?" Yang suddenly came into the shot. Right next to her, Weiss was following close behind with scroll in hand.
"Hey Yang. Weiss." Jaune greeted the unexpected guests. "We're currently doing a live TSA on driving safety."
"That sounds productive." The heiress commented, looking up from her scroll.
"Cool." The brawler said while winking at the camera. "Is that why you have those pedal cars there?"
Sun panned left to show the two toy cars the boys prepared for their demonstration.
"Yeah. We're planning on driving these around Beacon." Jaune explained, moving over to show they were two seaters. "We even got road blocks and other stuff to make it like a real simulation."
"Ooh. Can we join?" Yang asked while pulling Weiss in. "I'm an awesome driver and this looks fun."
"It does seem interesting enough." Weiss agreed, not having anything better to do.
"Ren?" The blonde turned to his teammate.
"It might help us show the significance of having a passenger along." The ninja thought it over, thinking it a good idea. "Why not?"
"Awesome." The brawler said while getting into a driver's seat. "Come on Vomit-Boy. Let's get this thing going."
"But we still haven't discussed the do's and don'ts of driving." He argued lightly, motioning to the camera.
"We can do that while driving." Yang replied back, making a good point.
Sighing, the two boys set up their scrolls to the same frequency as Sun's scroll camera. Now people had a view of inside the car and Sun filming both drivers.
"Alright Yang. We can get started." Jaune told his fellow blonde.
"Up-up." Yang waved a finger. "Safety first. Always remember to put on your seatbelts."
"Oh! Good reminder Yang." Jaune commented, putting his seatbelt on.
"Now I just check my mirrors and we'll just back up." The driver said in a casual tone while backing out.
BAM!
Blinking, the two looked in behind them to see Weiss had backed up into them. Ren looked apologetic, but the driver had a disappointed look on her face as she got out of the car.
"Were you guys not looking where you were going?" The heiress said with a scowl. "You bumped into us!"
"I bumped into you?!" Yang gawked, getting out of her seat. "You hit me!"
"I got it all on tape and you both backed up into each other." Sun added in behind his scroll.
"No way!" Yang refused to take part of the blame. "I was totally in the right of my lane. Look at where she's backed into. It's obvious she over went into my lane."
"Excuse me?!" Weiss narrowed her eyes while getting in Yang's face. "If you were paying attention, you would have seen I was first to signal out."
"You don't need two lanes to back out though!" The blonde shot back.
As the two continued to argue, it later turned into a slap fight on who would be paying for the damages.
"Do we have any advice on this?" Ren asked in whisper while nudging Jaune.
"I… don't think we do." The leader said while watching the two girls fight. "In these situations the cops just show up and taze them. Think we should end this?"
Nodding, Ren turned to the camera with a sheepish smile. "Thank you for tuning in to this TSA. We hope this video helped you learn something on driving safety."
"You're definitely paying for the fender bender!" Weiss shouted as Sun shut off his scroll.
Beacon Safari III
Good evening everyone and welcome to another episode of Beacon Safari. Today we will be observing the stealthy pack member of RWBY and how she obtains her meals.
The scene is in the mess hall where many students are eating and socializing.
At the cafeteria of Beacon, we only serve the tastiest and freshest of fish.
Jaune is seen taking the last tuna steak being served and puts it on his plate.
"Aaaaaaah!" Turning to his right, the blonde sees Blake charging at him with tray raised to bash his head in.
Which is exactly what the black beauty of RWBY wants.
Missing her swing, Jaune pushes Blake back and shields his tuna from her. Letting out a roar, it doesn't scare Blake off like last time.
When extremely hungry, even the stealthy huntress will not back down from a mighty roar.
Wide open from covering his meal, Jaune is punched repeatedly in the gut by Blake. After three hits, he pushes her away one more and takes up a boxing stance.
"Hwacha-cha!" Blake does a kung fu stance.
Using Yang's technique with a bit of dirty fighting, Jaune steps on Blake's toes and kicks her in the shin.
"Ouch, that smarts!" She seethes while hopping on her toe. Remembering something about the blonde, she plays dirty herself. "Look! A thing!"
"Hm?" Jaune looks in the direction Blake is pointing.
She then takes the chance to kick him in the groin and watch as he crumbles to the floor while holding his jewels.
And so the stealthy huntress succeeds in taking her meal from another predator. She must be wary though as other predators lurk in the mess hall.
"*roar!*" Pyrrha jumps over a table after seeing what Blake did to her partner.
It seems a wild Nikos was watching the interaction between her pack leader and the stealthy one. She doesn't seem too happy about her male being harmed.
As Pyrrha leaps to attack with Blake trying to scurry away, the moment freezes.
Due to the rating of this show, we can't show you the sheer carnage that is about to be shown. So here is a video of two adorable huntresses having a slap fight.
"Ow, ow, ow!" Ruby and Weiss shouted as they got into a pathetic slap fight with weapons forgotten behind them. After it was over, the scene changed back to the mess hall in ruins.
Total carnage is what lays here from the onslaught of two angry huntresses. This was truly a horrendous battle. The stealthy one was successful in devouring her meal during the chase, but she did not get away unharmed.
Blake is seen sitting on an upturned table licking her wounds with some ketchup in her eye.
Off to the entrance, Pyrrha is dragging a still prostrated Jaune by a leg with her teeth. Stopping to nuzzle her head onto his to comfort him, she receives a groan in gratitude and continues to drag him out.
Watch as the Nikos drags her wounded mate off to their den. With no effort at all she carries his approx. two hundred pounds of muscles with little effort. Truly a majestic creature.
That's all for Beacon Safari today. I do hope you enjoyed this screening brought to you by Beacon Academy.
"This is getting really weird." Ren said off to the side with Nora sitting next to him. Turning to her, he received a nod in agreement.
END
AN: I know it's only two skits, but they are still long and wordy. Regarding those 'Lemony Snippets,' I'm still debating on that while working on another interesting new story. Plus now I'm getting angry from some other stuff along with bad sleep so it's back to Plus J.