Abstract of a Lecture which was Presented to the Seven Hundred and Fourteenth Congress on Multi-Dimensional Mathematics, Gallifrey, on "Some Theoretical and Practical Aspects and Implications of the Use of Transportation by the Antitemporal Reactivity of the Dimensional Interstitial Singularity", by Doctor ********** ***** *****, DM, DL, DP, DX (UGal).
GY 2 147 366 by * ***** ***** D4 and UGal
TARDIS. Odd word, hmm?
My granddaughter, a charming little girl, wants me to tell you that my use of scientific nomenclature is incredibly dull, and that I will gain your attention much more fully if I use her very own expansion of the acronym TARDIS, which is "TIME AND RELATIVE DIMENSION IN SPACE". I told her that I would at least mention it, even though the words she uses are fuzzy, ill-defined things with no scientific precision. That obligation completed, you should at least have gained some idea into the subject of this lecture, which is perhaps less theoretical than you were expecting. Please excuse me if I proceed too rapidly for you; recordings of the lecture will surely be available afterwards for your perusal. However, I have a great deal to say and very little time allotted to say it, so I will continue without further ado.
You may recall that a century or so ago, two dear colleagues of mine harnessed the vast power source that is the Dimensional Interstitial Singularity. I like to believe that I assisted them, in my own humble way. I believe one of my colleagues adorned the DIS with the fanciful title of "the Eye of Harmony", if that is more familiar to you. But I digress.
The Dimensional Interstitial Singularity (hereinafter referred to as the DIS) is that extraordinary phenomenon which lies between all the dimensions of time and space, and which can be regarded as an unbounded mathematical entity of zero dimensionality that nevertheless has a very real existence.
If the DIS can be persuaded to manifest within a finitely bounded object, and is then subjected to manipulation by forces applied with equal strength along tensors in seven or more of the tempo-spatial dimensions, a rigid structure can be formed which will be subject to manifestation and demanifestation along with the singularity itself. If graduated forces are then applied along tensors across the remaining dimensions, the position of the manifestation of the singularity in those dimensions, and its surrounding structure, can be altered with great accuracy.
In simple terms, the application of these forces will cause antitemporal reactions in the DIS resulting in demanifestation of the DIS at its current location in the four manipulable dimensions, accompanied by its remanifestation at a new location. If the rigid structure is a device of sufficient size as to allow persons or equipment to be stored inside it, and if that equipment includes the apparatus for generating the manipulating forces, a transportation device of great versatility is created.
Transportation using the Antitemporal Reactivity of the DIS (hereinafter called the TARDIS effect) has great advantages over any other means of transportation.
Firstly, the intervening interval, in terms of the three tangible spatial dimensions and the tangible linear time dimension, is not experienced. Subjective time only passes for the time taken for a physical body to penetrate the dimensional interstices in both the demanifestation and remanifestation process. The subjective time for transportation is therefore dependent only on the mass of the structure surrounding the DIS (which I shall call the TARDIS effect machine).
My calculations would indicate that if the machine were of negligible mass, transit time would be virtually instantaneous; whereas with a machine of planetary mass the time would be of the order of the current age of the universe.
You will note that the implication here is that there is no absolute limit to the size of a TARDIS effect machine, provided that it remains mathematically bounded and rigid; however that there is a reasonable limit dependent on the anticipated travel time for a perceptual being. If I suggest that a reasonable maximum subjective travel time is of the order of a few days, then a suitable TARDIS effect machine could perhaps be the mass of this fine University.
Secondly, the existence of the rigid structure in the other seven spatio-temporal dimensions will allow the use of multi-dimensional geometries to limit the apparent size of the TARDIS effect device to any desirable level. The interior of the device will occupy folded geometries in the non-tangible dimensions and will not be apparent from the exterior. I would suggest that an appropriate minimum apparent size for the device would be that which will allow a single individual to enter or leave the device comfortably by walking upright - the size of a standard communications or teleportation booth. Similarly, the apparent mass of the device can be manipulated as convenient.
Thirdly, the device itself is not subject to many of the restrictions of linear time. There are many potential uses of this property of a TARDIS effect device, but I shall limit myself to the greatest difficulty facing any traveller to new places - that of communication. Let us suppose that the TARDIS device has passive sensors with a short range which can detect all forms of spoken, visual, written or transmitted communication - a simple enough requirement - and that it also possesses a powerful linguistics computer to analyse and translate the contents. The traveller is then equipped with interface nanocomputers to convert thought into speech in the native tongue and to interpolate visual and aural data into known forms.
So far in discussing linguistic translation, I have not gone beyond standard exploration and first contact equipment. Over a period of linear time in which the linguistics machine learns the native tongue, the traveller appears to become proficient and can communicate successfully. But here is where the TARDIS device's non-linear temporal capability comes in. As soon as the device materialises, it has already experienced the full duration of its manifestation. (In fact, it has already experienced all its manifestations, for all time, as soon as it manifests the DIS internally, but in order to prevent computer fugue and to limit the potential for prophetic temporal paradox which would otherwise pertain, I would recommend that all TARDIS device computers isolate their own memories on an ongoing basis, retaining only that relevant to the current manifestation.) So, the linguistics computer already has the full experience of communicating in the local languages for the duration of its manifestation, and the traveller can experience the advantage of full comprehension from the moment of stepping outside the TARDIS device - which in turn, of course, has improved the nature of the computer's translations in the first place.
The strange and wonderful part of all this is, of course, that because the DIS lies interstitially between all dimensions, an analysis of the mathematics for creating a TARDIS effect device will show that an unlimited number of devices can be constructed around it, although some of the equations would seem to indicate that for some purposes all such machines are the same unique device. One DIS – an infinite number of TARDIS effect devices, interweaving invisibly with each other, without interaction, across all of time and space.
In summary, then, we now have the ability to create, should we desire it, a transportation device allowing us to traverse all of time and space and to communicate successfully with all beings comprehensible to our computers which we might encounter on these travels.
The question which now begs to be asked is, should we do it?
And I think that the answer to this must inevitably be that not only should we do it, but that we must do it.
Allow me to explain.
Herein lies the danger: the effect of manifesting a TARDIS device, or rather the actions of entities emerging from such a manifested device, can affect events in linear time, effectively 'changing history'.
The mathematics also imply that any race capable of analysing the DIS is capable of creating TARDIS devices.
So: what do we do? Do we turn our backs on this technology, with its potential for devastating the past? Do we hope that no other race has ever analysed or will ever analyse the DIS, or that if they do, they either choose not to build TARDIS devices, or are benevolent and careful in the use of such devices?
Or do we ourselves take up a role as guardians of time, building TARDISes and policing time and space to ensure that no-one else has ever misused this almost unbelievably powerful capability? We set ourselves up as targets if we do so, for if anyone TARDIS-capable ever discovers us or our origins, they can attack us in the past and cause us to have never existed. If that were to be allowed to have occurred, then I will never deliver this lecture, and you will never hear it.
You may by now be hearing a quiet, ultra-low frequency hum, right at the base of our listening range. That hum is something you will learn to live with, because it is never going to go away again.
My fellow Gallifreyans, I have performed a criminal act.
This planet is now a TARDIS device, and is in the process of dematerialising from the physical universe, never to return until roughly the end of linear time itself. I did not ask for your consent, and I do not ask for your approval.
Nevertheless, I expect you to hear me out before the lawkeepers arrive to take me away.
The only means of leaving this planet now - or of visiting it - is by means of another TARDIS device, using its engines to pass through the transductional barriers that now protect this world from the vagaries of changes in the external dimensions of time and space – that which we commonly call "the Universe". This world will never fully enter the "Time Vortex" that bounds the DIS – but it will never again be a part of external events as long as the transduction barriers remain in place. I have just spread the plans for constructing TARDIS devices freely across all of Gallifrey's manifold computer networks, so I hope that you will govern those who build them wisely.
Why have I done this? you may be asking. I shall tell you. I have already built a TARDIS-effect device, and travelled into the history of our own beloved planet.
Except that it was not our history.
The great war which devastated our planet's last high civilisation, and whose deadly radiations led us to evolve into the species we now call Gallifreyans, has now never happened.
It is clear that the eventuality of which I have just warned you, of a hostile TARDIS-capable being or species, did in fact occur. It, or they, altered time in such a way that we will never have existed.
I have therefore taken the precipitate step of throwing Gallifrey out of the linear universe, where it cannot be affected by the process of non-being which might otherwise have come upon us at any moment. I do not expect you to thank me: some of you may even consider that it is my fault, for inventing the TARDIS-effect device in the first place.
You may even be right. I have no idea, right now, of how TARDIS technology came to be in the wrong hands, or how they discovered our people and homeworld.
However, I intend to find out.
I intend to save us all in the linear universe, using my TARDIS. I hope you come after me. I hope that, if I fail, you will succeed.
Goodbye.
[The testimony of all those present agrees that the good Doctor then stepped backwards, into a small cupboard at the rear of the podium that no-one had paid attention to. There was a brief skirling noise, and the cupboard vanished.
We can only assume that this was the Doctor's TARDIS-effect device, and that he has escaped this world for some unknown time and space. We know that this capability exists; the steel-grey sky that holds our planet eternally captive reveals the fact.
For the crimes of imposing his will without consultation, of removing Gallifrey from the Universe without consent, of developing and using dangerous technology without reference to the Ethics Committee, and for evading trial by using a TARDIS, the Doctor is declared anathema. His names are struck from the list of citizens and from all records, including this one.
As soon as we have built TARDIS travel machines of our own, we will chase him. We will find him.
And we will punish him.]
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