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The Sword in the Darkness
Proud Lady in a Cage
"Pray for your lady mother, child," someone had said at the time. One of the maidservants? It had been so long, Lyanna had now almost forgotten. She remembered trying to pray for a while but she did not think she had finished. She had been a small child, unable to understand how grave her mother's state was.
But she prayed for Elia Martell like she had never done before. As the tourney became a distant memory, unraveling just like her crown, the news that the Dornish princess might die in the birthing bed had shaken her badly. She barely remembered Elia – and to her surprise, she barely remembered Prince Rhaegar when awake – but she remembered how she had disdained her for her frailty. It had never occurred to her that Elia might actually die in her next childbed. If such a thought had ever occurred to her, she would have likely thought that Elia would stay alive just to torment Rhaegar further. But now, when the Dornishwoman might die for real, Lyanna felt guilty. She had never truly wished Elia harm, she had just wished for her to disappear – but not like this.
When Rhaegar approached her, a few leagues from Harrenhal, she tried to remember this but it was so hard. With him so very close, her resentment surged forth. Elia who had almost lost her life giving him an heir was not here for her to pity but he was. And he told her everything that she had wanted to hear – that he offered her the freedom to choose her own fate, that she was the only one to him, that one day, their child would be the savior of the world as they knew it.
Well, perhaps not this. Really, the savior of the world? It was nice of him to have concocted such a story that would resonate with her longing to make the world a more just place but he did not really expect that she'd believe this, did he?
When she realized that he did… But before this, there was the joy, although reality made some faint attempts to interject. Lyanna had thought that in Dorne, women were free to love freely but if Ser Arthur Dayne's look was anything to go by, this freedom did not extend to her loving his princess' husband. She had thought that by "going to Dorne", Rhaegar had meant to show her the strongholds and even the desert where they could see a sand warrior if they were in luck. But instead, they were locked together in a tower that after the first week Lyanna realized they were not going to leave. "I can't let you go," Rhaegar said when she stomped her foot and demanded that she be left to leave.
It took him some time to convince her but after all, Lyanna loved him, did she not? It was even romantic that he wanted to keep her his and here forever… or at least for a few weeks. Few weeks were just this – few weeks. But since this moment, something changed. Lyanna hated lies and although he had not lied to her, he had known what she had thought he meant. As much as she tried not to, she was losing her faith in him and told him so in no uncertain means when he caught her eavesdropping on the Kingsguard conversation. His reproaches about how unworthy this was of a lady sounded just like her father's!
"You didn't tell me that Dorne was going to hate you," she said accusingly because she was not about to sit down and accept his accusations when he had pushed her into it in the first place. "You told me that they always have your back."
"They do," he assured her. "Or they will."
"How are you going to win them over? By hiding?" Lyanna asked dubiously but he offered to practice swords with her and soon this last unpleasant exchange was forgotten.
The longer she stayed in this tower, the more powerful the dreams became. They scared her and shamed her. Sometimes, she was still the sword in the darkness releasing Rhaegar from his chains – but these were not the truly terrible ones. The ones she feared were where she became a plague. Somehow. She became a plague and killed Elia Martell, so she and Rhaegar could live happily ever after. She was even ready to rear Elia's children, that was how much she loved him. Other times, she killed all three of them. What was she turning into? Fear shook her so badly that she would wake up, thankfully in a world where she was no murderess, just Rhaegar's future second wife. His one true love.
When she realized that the child he was talking about was going to arrive not in a few years but soon, she felt a flicker of alarm. Without giving it a conscious thought, she knew that Rhaegar had planned it this way. She would never see the desert now. Never again would she ride at tourneys. She would become something like Elia Martell, although she would never be quite this frail and weak! And then, the chilling realization. Everything that Rhaegar had been planning was already a fact. He had said that he would take her, and he had. He had said that they would have a child, and they were on their way to. He was planning for a future of world-destroying clashes and a hero child, just like he had told her. He must believe it, Lyanna thought, looking around wildly. He really must.
What had she brought herself into in her quest for freedom? In her pursue of love? The worst thing was that she was smart enough to realize that she could not escape. Not with three Kingsguard here. Not with this tower being in the middle of nowhere. Not with no money. Not with not knowing the way back because she had been too busy staring at the scenery – and Rhaegar. Fool, what a fool!
She now had to sit around and wait for her father and brothers to find her – and deal with the mortifying experience of explaining herself to them. Still, she could not wait. She loved Rhaegar, she did – but gentle madness was still madness. People said that at the time, the madman whom she had seen at Harrenhall had been as charming as Rhaegar.
As strange as she was, the more she started fearing Rhaegar, the more violent the dreams in which she released him from his bonds became.