Jane Rizzoli was a woman who screamed independence. This was a woman whose every move exuded effortless confidence, whose air was of one who never questioned herself. It was clear (she made sure of it) to everyone who'd ever met her that she didn't need anyone in her life to be perfectly all right. She said it often and she carried herself that way. Nobody doubted it. The only thing was, Jane Rizzoli was a damn good actress.
It hadn't escaped her notice that the new medical examiner was an incredibly attractive woman. Perhaps the most attractive woman Jane had ever laid eyes on. When she looked Jane in the eyes and smiled, it was like the rest of the world melted away, and Jane's breath would catch in her chest. How could anyone look so beautiful, so exquisite, and so pure? It made Jane feel like she would do anything to keep seeing that smile, and that terrible things would happen if she never saw Maura Isles smile again.
That's why Jane was such a goofball around Maura. She'd make all sorts of stupid jokes, poke fun at Korsak, Frankie or Frost, anything, anyone, to make Maura smile. And when she laughed… goodness, Jane thought that it would make her heart explode with joy. It was why Jane looked forward to work so much, and she'd seize every opportunity, any excuse, to head down to the morgue to talk to Maura. Autopsy report? Maura! Questions about suspicious fluids at crime scene? Maura! Latin words on victim's grandmother's dog's kennel? Maura! You get the picture.
Jane knew what it meant of course. She was a detective after all. This sort of thing wasn't going to escape her notice. She knew she was falling for one Maura Isles. It wasn't a surprise, she'd fallen for women before. She'd never been with one, for many reasons. Her workplace was sexist and prejudiced enough as it is, she didn't need to give her MCP colleagues more reason to call her a dyke. She was brought up Catholic and as rebellious as she had been growing up, she didn't think Angela could take this kind of hit from her, not while her younger brother was such a screw up and still serving time. She really needed to be the responsible one in the family and not be the cause for more worry. And well, there's also the fact that being with women was just… more emotional than being with men. Men weren't as sensitive as women. They could never really tell whether Jane was truly invested in the relationship. And they usually bounced back quickly with new women after break ups. To be honest, Jane didn't really care.
But now, this Maura Isles. She was driving Jane crazy. As much as she had fallen for women before, she didn't think she had fallen this hard before. Maybe it didn't help that Jane couldn't get away from her long enough to clear her head (what with them being colleagues) – not that Jane wanted to be away from her. Ever. Jane gave her head a little shake at these thoughts.
'Ugh c'mon get your shit together Rizzoli,' Jane muttered to herself under her breath. 'She probably isn't even gay. But even if she were, SHE IS WAY OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE, IDIOT. So get your head straight on this and keep it together.'
And Jane forced herself to sit at her desk and google what 'Campylobacter jejuni' was instead of running down to the morgue to talk to Maura as she usually would.