Crazy trouble with love part 6

Female EVA Units and Shinji part 2

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Last time on CTWL!

"Shinji! We've got sixteen objects heading for us!"

But said boy was still out cold as the lights began to get close and closer until they stopped near the window.

"Give us the key to everlasting life." Spoke a set of cold emotionless women from outside as the screen went black. "Or perish."

And back to the show!

(In the present)

The group shivered a little as they looked at the hole in the wall.

Each one was covered in white armor, small black bird like wings, a long tail like protrusion, red eyes, long white hair, a D cup chest and massive ass. Their hands also had more of a claw like design and almost looked like a birds. However there was also three of the girls that were missing either a leg, wing, or one of their arms, making them look creepy to the humans below.

"We will not repeat, comply or die." they spoke in unison.

Asuka gulped before Megumi, Yuina, Hilda, Himiko and Alice ran up and glared at them.

"Who are you?" Yuina narrowed her eyes.

"Your replacements." They said at once.

"Tough talk from some copycats." scowled Himiko.

One flew towards her before grabbing her chest. "Weak." And threw her out of the room.

"Ahhh!" She yelled before jumping onto one of the girls and ran back towards the building before air kicking the girl. "You're dead now girl!"

She hit the wall as Alice pulled out her sword and ran at her.

While this was happening, Shinji was slowly waking up from the kiss triggered fainting spell.

"Ugh...what happened?" He groaned as the girls noticed him and flew quickly towards him.

"The key to everlasting life." They said at once. "Come with us now or be annihilated."

"You're not taking him anywhere." spoke Misato holding her gun out. "Just what the heck are you anyway?"

They looked at her before one with no arm said.

"EVA's, made by Seele to help with the final plan." She said as they moved very closely towards Shinji like a pack of hungry birds. "Now leave."

"Nein!" Hilda growled while grabbing one by the wings. "You're not getting him, but it's not like I love him or anything." She blushed at that point.

"Your vitals say you have feelings for our target." They said at once.

"N-No I don't."

"You do." The other EVA's deadpanned.

"Shut up and help me tear these bitches apart!"

Megumi nodded as the others ran over and grabbed as many as they could.

Shinji gulped while looking at one with a missing leg. "Um….what's the final plan?"

She blinked once, then twice, then three times before saying. "To get immortality for Seele and for those that want to rule the world after the Third Impact."

His eyes widened hearing that before she suddenly reached out and made a grab for him before Misato started shooting at her.

She felt the bullets hit her armor and face while for some reason it was causing her to bleed. "Hostile enemy." She then caused a long familiar spear to appear from her hands, even if it's gray. "Activating Spear of Longinus version two now."

The others nodded before summoning the same thing and tried poking at their attackers.

Asuka screamed while Misato kept shooting and Shinji tried scrambling to the kitchen.

But one without a wing grabbed him by the leg and started to take flight, only to fall down. "Error, wings not functioning. Help!"

Megumi and Yuina growled while Himiko started to make her mouth extend to unnatural levels.

"Time to eat!" She laughed before attempting to eat one of them.

Two of the moved over and held her mouth open before one aimed her spear for her inside.

Shinji went wide eyed before before doing something unexpected and like his father in a way. "Desist!" He yelled in a cold voice.

The girls stopped while turning to him. "Seele member Gendo?"

"Wait, what?" spoke Misato while holding one of them in a headlock. "Gendo's part of Seele?!"

"Affirmative hostile bitch." They said at once.

"I'm not a bitch!"

"Scans say you are a dog, so you are a bitch." They said at once. "Now give us the key or die."

"And what will you do if we comply?" Asuka frowned.

"Cuddle and kiss him." They said at once. "And snuggle with him."

"...what?"

"We are going to snuggle, cuddle and kiss him." They said with narrowed eyes. "You got a problem?"

Yuina blinked while looking at Megumi with a confused look.

"What?" Alice said while Himiko just felt hungry again.

"We shall-"

"We heard!" spoke Misato while rubbing her head. "Just...why? Aren't you here to, I don't know, kill us?"

"If you didn't give us the key." They deadpanned. "If you gave us the key then we would cuddle and kiss him to the end of time."

Shinji blushed while Asuka picked him up and moved him over to them.

"You can have the baka, just get out."

Hilda smacked her head. "Hündin."

"Ow!"

"While that's a good goal." Yuina said. "You can't just take him, after all he has us."

They cocked their heads before blinking. "Huh?"

Megumi looked at them with a frown. "He's taken."

"Not anymore." spoke one before they held their spears up. "Hand him over."

"No."

"Then feel the power of your own weapons." They said before Shinji got in front of them.

"Ok! Just knock it of all of you!" He snapped. "I'm sick and tired of all this bickering and fighting, so just. Shut. The. Fuck. UP!"

The room became deadly quiet while all the girls here were dumbstruck at his outburst.

He blinked feeling all their eyes on him and coughed while feeling self conscious. "I mean, maybe we can settle this another way."

"...that was kind of hot." Hilda muttered in shock.

They other girls put their spears away while taking a seat on the ground that looked similar to a crow roosting. "Alright."

"Who knew you had it in you." whispered Misato nudging him. "Might wanna give them another order."

"But-"

"Just try it."

He sighed before saying. "Can you tell me why your here and why you're….you know. Smaller."

"We were struck with lightning." They said at once. "And after a while we became like this and felt inclined to find the key to everlasting life and cuddle and kiss him like lovers."

'Like us!' The other EVA's thought in shock.

"But, what makes you think it's me?"

"Seele keeps talking with member Gendo. And he thinks using the girl Rei, the being called Adam, the Lilith, and you can bring the world under their control is possible." They said at once as the one without a wing nodded. "And we were made to help that be possible."

"What?!" spoke Misato with wide eyes. "Adam? Lilith? And Rei's part of it?"

They nodded.

"For what reason?!"

"To make a coupling that will suck all the souls on earth and give them to the members, making them immortal as they will recreate humanity in the process as their play toys."

Misato gritted her teeth while Asuka dropped her jaw. "That son of a bitch! He's been using all of us!"

Shinji and Asuka also gritted their teeth as Megumi, Yuina, Hilda, Himiko and Alice started to look pissed off, especially Yuina who looked ready to go berserk at any time.

"We only want the key to cuddle now." They said at once. "If he dies then why live?"

"Well too bad, he's ours." spoke Himiko.

They looked ready to start another fight as Megumi spoke up.

"How about we let them stay? They might be killers, but maybe with them around our job of protecting Shinji will become easier."

"But I wanted to eat them!"

"No, and think if they just want to cuddle and not have, 'fun', then why not let them?"

She huffed. 'I never get any fun.'

"I still say no." spoke Yuina.

"Why's that?" Alice asked. "I'm all for it."

"Because I can protect him just fine, and I know him the longest!"

"We knew him since Gendo talked about him to Seele." The sixteen near identical girls said at once. "And even during meetings about using his abandonment as a learning experience."

"What?" Misato glared. "What do you mean by that? You mean he WANTED Shinji to be abandoned?"

"So he doesn't become self dependent or rebellious." They said at once. "But that's just him being a dick, for we won't let that happen."

"And you'll do what exactly to remedy this?"

"Give him the mama bird flock parenting method." They said at once.

"The what?" spoke Asuka.

"The mama bird flock parenting method." One said with a missing arm. "It means to be like birds in the wild and care for him as a group, including force feeding him worms if he so desires."

He turned green hearing that while Misato grimaced.

"You do know Shinji is a human, right?"

"Yes, your point?"

"It's gross!" Hilda snapped. "And if he's getting fed food then it's the food I make not yours!"

"I'm the cook." Yuina deadpanned.

"I was going to do it myself!"

Himiko drooled a little as Alice looked at the sixteen girls.

"What are your unit numbers."

"Units 06, 07, 08, 09, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15 and 16." They said while the ones with the missing arm, wing and leg waved at them.

"And you three are….units 14, 15, and 16?"

"Yep." Spoke the one with only one wing.

"Affirmative." Spoke the one without a leg.

"Reporting for duty." The one with no right arm said with a salute.

"Just why don't you have a complete set?" Asked Yuina.

"Because we're destined to be scrapped today so that the Third Impact can commence faster." The three said sadly.

"Why not just kill the bakas?" questioned Asuka with her arms crossed.

"We don't know who they are." They said at once. "They use voice modifiers when they talk, except for member Gendo. And his voice sounds like a fog horn mating with a whale."

Shinji snickered hearing that, unaware that the girls were looking at him like hungry vultures. 'That actually sounds like him.'

"Name us key." They said at once.

"Huh?"

"Name us key or get smothered to death." They said all at once with a cold tone of voice.

"Individually or all at once? I mean...you do talk at the same time." he pointed out while the other girls got in between them with glares at the others.

"All at once, except for units 14-16." They said at once.

Shinji nodded before looking between Hilda's and Yuina's legs. "Um for the first um….girls how about Abigail?"

They blinked before smirking. "Alright key."

Megumi blinked at that while turning to units 05-13. 'Abigail? Isn't that a witch that made the town of Salem go nuts?'

"And for you three, maybe…..Alexandria for you." he pointed to the one with one wing.

"Ok." She nodded. "I'll take it with pride."

Shinji pointed to the one without an arm. "How about Sheba for you?"

She blinked while having a heavy blush. "Like Queen Sheba...I'm...honored."

"And you? Um….Baba?"

"...huh? Why that name?" The one with no leg asked confused.

"Well isn't there some story about a woman in a house with one leg?"

"You mean Baba Yaga right?"

"Yes."

"She has a chicken legged house, not one leg but…." she blushed and played with her fingers. "I'll...I'll take it….key."

"Ok, you got your names, now you can go find some nest or something." spoke Yuina being blunt.

They looked at her before grabbing Shinji by the arms. "With him."

"You're not taking him with you." growled Himiko.

"We aren't taking him." Spoke Sheba. "We just want to take a bed, snuggle up to him, and kiss him."

Megumi frowned before walking over and said. "After we cuddle with OUR Shinji."

"It can wait after us." remarked Baba while pulling him towards them.

"No it won't." Hilda growled while pulling Shinji towards her. "We are going to cuddle and kiss him first!"

That was when Alexandria grabbed Shinji along with the Abigail's. "Us first!"

She growled while cursing in German and started pulling on him.

Misato watched as both sides tugged on him while Asuka walking off with a huff.

'I need to wake up from this batshit dream.' She thought before Misato grabbed her and whispered.

"Looks like you lost out, since I did hear you say you wanted to marry him in your sleep." She chuckled.

"S-Shut up! I did not!" she shrieked before heading to her room with a blush.

Knock knock.

Misato blinked as she walked to the door and opened it. "Oh Rei, what are you doing here?"

"I have to tell you something."

"What's that?"

"...I somehow got a harem of angels." She blushed red. "And they're waiting at my apartment."

Misato fell backwards and fainted.

(A few minutes later)

And woke up on the couch. "Oh god! What a horrible nightmare!"

"What is?" Asked Sheba and Yuina while sitting next to her.

Her eyes widened while seeing the girls giving Shinji a big group hug, with some of them glaring at the other. "It...it wasn't a dream?"

"Nope." Rei said while a woman with blue skin, long blue robes, a large ass and an B cup chest, gem like eyes and long prism shaped shoes and hair sat on her lap. "And um...this is Ramiel."

"Yo." She waved with a smile. "Nice to finally meet my cute roommates friends."

Misato went wide eyed before fainting again.

"Was it something I said?" She asked confused.

(Omake)

The Abigail's, Alexandria, Sheba and Baba looked at Megumi, Yuina, Hilda, Himiko and Alice while holding a untraceable phone. "Want to do prank calls on member Gendo?"

"Why?" Hilda asked.

"Because he's an hostile enemy to the key." They said at once.

"Hmm, I wouldn't mind." spoke Yuina. "I wanna see how much that bastard can take since he likes messing with Shinji-kun so much."

"As long as we get pizza afterwards." Himiko grinned.

"And wasabi." Alice grinned.

Sheba nodded before calling the number.

Ring ring ring ring.

Click.

"Who's this?"

"Why hello." Megumi said. "I heard from your doctor that you have a level three lung cancer treatment you neglected to tell the hospital is that right?"

"Of course not, I don't any form of cancer. Who is this?"

"The local hospital." She said. "And from the looks of your records, your going to die in two days if you don't get the treatment."

"Hang on, if this is true then why wasn't I told ahead of time?"

"Because you don't have a home address. Oh and it will be 35,000,000,000,000 yen." She said with a slight snicker.

"Wait a second, is this some kind of joke? Who told you this number, just who are you?"

Click.

"My turn." Yuina said while calling again. "Hello, this is the police. I just want to notify you that we just found a dead body and it might be of your long lost brother Shiro."

"I don't have a brother, now quit calling me you damn punks."

"Is that the way you talk to the police? Because we have tapped your line and if you don't play nice you might become a criminal offender, under the category pedophile."

"Good one." Hilda snickered.

"What!? That's an out-"

Beep.

"My turn." Himiko said while calling. "Hello is this the pizza place? I'll have ten orders of bacon and fifty garlic knots."

"Listen here, if I get one more call I'll make sure you find out what section two can do, I'm a powerful man and can have you thrown in jail for using this line."

"...so anyway I also want a soda with my food."

Click.

She pouted as Alice called the number.

"Hey, I'm here as your financial advisor and we found something in a Yui Ikari's will that you might want to hear."

"I don't know how you know her, but I'm getting tired of this!"

"But she put in her will a condo in the Bermuda Triangle if you give Shinji Ikari a good life. And she really wants you to have it." She lied while gripping her hands.

"Wait what?!"

Click.

"We shall go next." The Abigail's said at once while calling the number. "You have seven days to live."

"What was that about the will? Tell me you punks!"

"The condo is yours if you do something nice to Shinji." They said at once before saying. "Giving him in marriage to the next person that calls."

"Wait what-"

Click.

They chuckled while the others looked at them in shock. "What?"

"Isn't that gonna fail? He's not gonna take you seriously anyway."

"For money, he will do anything." They said as Hilda took the phone and called.

"Oh great, so are you the one my poor excuse of a child is going to marry?"

She growled. "Du kranker Motherfucker! Shinji ist nicht so, du fickst! Und ja! Ich heirate ihn, also kannst du einfach die Klappe halten, in einem Loch sterben und dich von Dämonen ficken lassen, du kleiner Scheißer!" (You sick motherfucker! Shinji is not like that you fuck! And yes! I'm marrying him so you can just shut up, die in a hole and get fucked by demons you little shit!)

"German now? Wait a second, is that you Pilot Sohryu? Is this some kind of prank you're pulling? I'm putting you on probation for this outrageous joke you call a prank call."

Click!

Hilda growled while punching a few walls as Sheba called next.

"Hello, sorry about that but my sister really loves your son. Heck they're already having a child together as we speak." 'Though I WANTED to do it first!'

"...what?"

"My sister and your son is having a kid, so we expect a lot of gifts at the baby shower. Father in law."

"That's it! I'm going to trace this call and have you locked up!"

Click.

Alexandra chuckled while calling next. "Excuse me, but Seele needs you to start operation boobs now." She snickered. "So get everyone at NERV of the female gender and start making them wear even more sexual clothing."

Click.

"Huh? He hung up."

"Must have found out." Baba said before getting an idea and called the number again.

"What?"

She moved back before letting loose a loud raspberry.

Click!

"Huh? He was supposed to scream at that."

"That was just plain silly."

"Couldn't help it." She shrugged before getting an idea. "Let's call Misato now."

They shrugged while the screen went black and we cut to Gendo, who was looking very paranoid.

'What the fuck is going on?!' He thought while the phone rang again and he threw it out the window.

(On the other line)

"Huh?" Misato said while looking confused. "Must be on another line." 'Or getting pranked, ugh why did I chose today to prank him?'