Crazy trouble with love part 6
Harley and Ivy part 2
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"Hey Bud?"
"What is it Lou?"
"You got any clue what happened to our paws?"
"No. You?"
"If I did why would I ask?" he threw back before they saw the Joker slowly start calming down from his laughing fit.
"Oh now this is a surprise." he smirked while walking over and around them. "You two certainly went through quite the makeover."
"Can't say the same for him." whispered Lou making them chuckle.
"Mo, Lar, Cur! Get in here you stooges!"
The three henchmen ran in and bumped into each other while going wide eyed seeing the two humanoid hyenas.
"Uh, yeah boss?" spoke Mo.
"You remember Bud and Lou." Joker said gesturing to the hyenas.
"You mean the mangy mutts you always keep around?" asked Lar making the two frown.
"At least we get better steaks then your paychecks." remarked Bud with a smirk.
"Hey yeah, Mo I thought we was gonna ask for a raise." Cur said.
"Quiet you." Mo said slapping Cur.
Cur huffed at Mo before the dark haired man glare and made Cur back off with a nervous smile.
"We'll ask when I'm good and ready….Mr. Joker can we have a raise?"
"No you lunkheads." he frowned before walking over and put a hand on Bud and Lou's shoulders. "I just wanted you to take a look at these two. Don't they grow up so fast? Why I'd say they've become just the extra hands we need for our next heist. But first why don't you take them out shopping for new clothes, and use the five finger discount."
"You got it boss." spoke Lar.
"Now hold up, we ain't goin' on any heist till we know where ma went." spoke Lou.
"Yeah where'd she go?"
"Ma?" Joker raised an eyebrow before snapping his fingers. "Oh you mean Harley! Well you see boys, I had to tell her to go get me a few things, so she'll be a bit busy in the meantime. But just think how happy she'll be when she come home to see you all dressed up after a hard days work."
"But we feel weird and stuff. I mean our paws are gone and we got these...what were they again Lou?"
"Hands Bud, they're called hands."
"Yes, hands to give dear old ma a hug with when she gets back." Joker added. "Besides, we're just gonna go make a quick withdrawal, and wouldn't she feel happy knowing we've got plenty of cash to go around? And imagine the look on her face when she sees how you've grown."
"Hmmm, he makes a good point." spoke Bud. "Alright, we're in."
"Good boys, go make papa proud." he smiled while the three henchmen lead the two out and he rubbed his hands together. 'Wait till ol' batsy gets a load of what I've got for him.'
They piled into the truck before Mo hopped in the driver's seat.
"How come you always drive." Lar asked.
"'Cause I actually got a license lamebrain." Mo replied.
"Why do I gotta sit back here with the dogs?" questioned Cur.
"I was just about to ask that." remarked Bud with a snicker.
"Cause you got more in common with em'. And hyenas ain't dogs knucklehead they're cats."
"But they don't got whiskers." remarked Lar with confusion. "Do they?"
"Ain't you ever been to school?"
"Well I use to, but they kicked me out. Then I went to another and they kicked me out, then another, and by that time word got around and no other school would take me." he chuckled before Mo reached back and slapped him. "What'd I do?"
"Lamebrain." Mo said before pulling into an ally across from a clothing store. "Alright hairballs, you see that place across the street?"
"Course we do, we ain't blind." spoke Lou.
"Alright then, now we're gonna test you on this. You two bust in and grab whatever you like. But you gotta be quick, cause if the cops show up there gonna start shooting after they take one look at your mugs."
"If they're gonna be scared it's 'cause of his." smirked Bud pointing at Lou before they climbed out from the back.
"This is gonna be a cinch." Lou said before the two raced of towards the store.
"Aw nuts," Lar said. "We forgot to tell them to grab the register."
"Does this mean we ain't gonna get paid?" asked Cur.
"You lunkhead, that's gonna be after we hit the bank, not before." he said with the sound of smashed glass and screaming customers in the background. "Besides we ain't time for slim pickins like this place."
"But don't every cent count?"
"You wanna count?" mo asked befor holding his hand up. "Count two."
"One, two." Cur counted pointing at Mo's index and middle fingers which were then use to poke him in tge eyes. "Oh!"
"Hey leave him alone." Lar said to mo
"But out or I'll smack you right in the puss." Mo warned.
The two hyenas rushed out laughing with armfuls of clothes before jumping in the truck as Mo hit the gas and started driving away.
"Oh man did you see them run!" laughed Bud.
"They look like they never saw a couple of hyenas before." laughed Lou.
"Yeah but that one lady with the black hair wasn't scared. She just stood there like nothin' was goin' on. Did you think it was a little creepy too?"
"Nah, she probably just wanted to get lucky. I got the face that drives any woman nuts."
"Nicely done boys. In and out in two minutes."
"Well we just grabbed anything that looked good and booked it." spoke Bud holding up star shaped glasses. "Hmm, does this fit me?"
"Yeah it hides your ugly eyes." Lou spoke before laughing. "We also grabbed these for ma from the glass box." he added holding out a handful of jewelry. "Think she'll like em'?"
"The boss is sure gonna like 'em." Lar said with a grin.
"I wonder how ma's doing right now." remarked Bud while we cut back over to the greenhouse.
Harley was looking at herself in the mirror with a slight pout. "Now I'm gonna need a huge razor just to get all this extra hair off."
"You might not like what's underneath, ever seen one of those hairless cats?" remarked Ivy leaning against the doorframe as Harley gave a shudder. "If dogs, cats, and even hamsters can deal with it, you can too."
"Yeah, but what I can't deal with is this." she said point do to the cock between her legs. "I'm a freakin' hermaphrodite!"
"Relax Harley."
"How? If this thing can give you a bun in the oven that's fine for you, but I'm use to a clam, not a giant sausage down there." she spoke while lightly poking it and gave a shudder. "It feels weird."
"Not compared to what I've read online." Ivy said. "Did you know a female hyena has a pseudo penis?"
"A what?"
"Apparently it's the cliterus, only its stretched out to resemble a penis." she clarified while Harley looked down at the dick. "Turns out when the female gives birth, the cub ends up coming out from it."
"Oh man, I'm gonna puke." spoke Harley turning green and swaying.
"Relax, that happens for female hyenas giving birth if a male gave them their sperm, but since you're the female who already has sperm, I don't think you have to worry about giving birth. So long as you stay away from any male hyenas who might be a little frisky. But I still need to run a few tests."
"Like what?"
"Well being your still part human, and you still have a vagina, what I've explained may only be speculation."
"Just when I thought my life had reached the point I totally screwed up." she groaned and rubbed her head. "Alright, just please tell me there ain't no needles involved."
"We'll need some X-rays."
"Now those I can do."
"There's just one problem. I don't have an X-ray machine. So we'll need to 'borrow' one from a hospital or something."
"But what about Batman?"
"We'll be quick and discreet." Smiled Ivy who walked over and started scratching Harley's ear making her let out a low hum as her tail started to wag. "Besides don't you really want to know how your new body works?"
"Oh yeah Red, that's the spot." she panted while her tongue hung out.
"Unless….you want to do a more hands on test?" suggested Ivy while Harley moved closer to her hand.
"Yeah right there."
"So which one is it gonna be?"
Harley growled before tackling Ivy who gasped audibly in surprize before she was pinned to the wall. "You wanna tease me red? Then I'm gonna give you a real hands on test." Harley grabbed the top of Ivy's costume and tore it off, freeing her breasts from their confines.
Ivy's eyes widened while seeing a glint in Harley's eyes making her grow nervous. "Now Harley, don't let your new instincts get the better of yo- Oh my!" she let out as Harley grabbed the mounds and roughly groped them.
"Sorry Red, but I'm gonna go ahead and do what my body wants, and damn it if I haven't wanted to get a feel of these girls for a while." Harley then licked her lips and latched onto a nipple.
"Ah!" gasped Ivy who felt Harley's tongue move across the nub as she squeezed and kneaded the other breast. "H-Harley!"
Using her free hand Harley rubbed Ivy's slit through her pants causing Ivy to moan with a blush in her cheeks. "How about I take these off and see if the carpet matches the drapes?" Harley questioned feeling that her friend was going commando and pinched her clit after finding it.
"AHH!" screamed Ivy with wide eyes feeling her body heating up while Harley pressed a claw right against the spot before she ripped the fabric around the crotch area. "Get a grip on yourself Harley!"
"Admit it, you need a cock in you just as bad as I do." Harley spoke. "You say you don't need a man, but you know your body is sayin' otherwise."
Ivy gasped feeling the claw rub across her slit again while she tried to make some of the nearby plants assist her.
"All those times you smooched batboy to poison him, you were thinkin' about his big ol' kielbasa." teased Harley while swirling her tongue over the nipple near her while Ivy groaned and blushed.
'Oh god, why is she so good!' thought Ivy, squirming at the touch.
"Come on Red, you can't tell me not once you didn't add a little tongue." said Harley pushing a finger in her cunt.
"A-Ahhh! Harley! Oh god, Harley!" moaned Ivy losing concentration while jumping as the finger went deeper and deeper slowly.
"You have such a lovely singing voice." grinned Harley while wiggling it around as Ivy squirmed and she felt her dick start to come to life. "Ever considered singin' in the opera?"
"Harley please! Enough! I'm going crazy!" Moaned Ivy shivering.
"Aw but Red, your face looks adorable like that."
"I can't take it. I… I…" moaned Ivy before letting out a loud scream as she arched her back and her juices went gushing out onto Harley's hand.
"Why Red I never would have pegged you for a squirter." teased Harley seeing the juices while Ivy twitched and panted with Harley sniffing the fluids and giving them a lick. "Hmm, kinda bland, but seeing your expression is icing on the cake." she said keeping Ivy from falling by holding her up.
"Ah...ah….ah….H….H…..Harley…."
"Yeah Red?"
Ivy moved a hand up before giving a flick to Harley's nose. "Bad dog."
"Ow!" Harley covered her snout with a whimper. "That's sensitive."
"Well that's what you get for jumping ahead." she frowned while shuddering with a moan. "Fuck, how did you know how to do that with just a finger?"
"I just did what I usually do if I gotta rub one out myself. But I think all this was on you, since when did you last get laid?"
"Well...It has been awhile."
"Well don't hold out, give me a number."
"...several years ago."
"Say what?!" Harley yelled. "Damn, you need it bad."
"Oh shut up." she huffed looking away. "You try finding a guy who won't get affected after one kiss or one who isn't gonna touch this body because he's worried I'll turn him into plant food."
"Well…..who says you need a guy?" Harley asked. "I mean, if you wanna test this thing and see if you can get a baby, maybe I could help get you all unwound till you pass out."
"You just want to fuck don't you?" Ivy deadpanned.
"Oh no, at this point I NEED to fuck." she said pointing at her hard on. "It feels like a part of me got coated in cement and isn't going soft."
Ivy blushed seeing it look bigger than before and let out a sigh. "Alright alright, but if we're gonna do this, I'm getting on top, last thing I need is you biting my neck to mark me." she said before going to fetch the chemical she modified from what harley brought her then put in a syringe before injecting herself.
"Oh fine." pouted Harley. "But you ow me a BJ. I'm eager to try that."
"You'll get it, now lay down on your back." Ivy said pushing Harley back to the bed.
Harley spread her legs out while letting her dick stand tall and proud while Ivy crawled over her stroking her shaft. "Ooh wow. This is definitely new."
"Just try not to get too excited or you'll make a big mess all over the bed." Ivy warned. 'My god its so hard.'
"S-Sorry Red, but damn is this somethin'." she jumped from the glove. "Holy cow."
"Do you have to sound so eager?"
"Hey it's not my fault, this things sensitive. Don't pretend you don't want it in you." Harley shot back. "Unless you're one of those freaky gals who likes getting all tangled up in tentacles and stuff."
"It does the job." replied Ivy without flinching as she reached down and gave the base a squeeze getting a yip out of the girl.
"Come on. Start sucking." whined Harley wagging her tail.
Ivy groaned before moving her mouth to the tip and licked the head. This made Harley jump with a louder yip while she kept rubbing around the shaft. 'After this she's probably gonna wanna do my ass next.'
"Ooh, oh wow!" moaned Harley with her tongue hanging out. "Now I get why guys love beatin' their meat." she took a hand and moved it to Ivy's head. "Come on Red, grip it harder."
Ivy squeezed harder while looking up at Harley using her other hand to rub her tit. "Like this?"
"Aw yeah Red, ooh, you definitely got the magic touch." moaned Harley while urging Ivy to take in more while her tail wagged faster.
'This isn't as bad as I thought it'd be.' thought the woman sliding more of her head over the cock while licking the tip. 'A bit more warm than I'd like, but still, not bad.'
"Yeah Red, suck that cock." urged Harley while gripping the sheets and tearing them slightly with her claws. "This is a million times better than hands!"
Ivy began moaning, sending vibrations through the cock.
"Oh fuck Red! I feel like I'm gonna pop any second!" Harley warned her friend.
Ivy pulled her head off it with Harley letting out a whimper. "Good call, last thing I need is getting this in my hair and taking a shower."
"Oh my god Red, that was something else." remarked the blonde staring at her dick. "Even if it looks like it's ready to blow."
"I thought it was hard before." Remarked Ivy. "You could cut glass with this thing."
"Ready to give this puppy a ride Red? Cause I really can't wait anymore."
"Let me just take off this costume you so rudely mangled."
Harley growled in impatience before grabbing Ivy and yanked her close with a yelp before tearing the costume to shreds from her body with the exception of her boots and gloves.
"Hey!" Ivy frowned at the girl. "At this rate I should try and get a giant spray bottle if you're gonna be that impatient."
"I'm sorry Red, but I just need to get off so bad."
"Then lay back and relax or I'll tie it up with a huge branch and let it sit there." Ivy warned.
Harley pouted and let go before leaning back on the bed. "Like this?"
"Yes, but just to be sure." Ivy waved her hand before several vines moved over and wrapped around the girl's wrists and legs. "Much better. That should hold you." she moved over to the dick and smirked before slowly rubbing her ass against the girth.
"Ngh, Red."
"This time you're gonna learn to wait until I say so, got it?" Ivy teased and rubbed Harley's tits.
"Ah!" she gasped while feeling Ivy's fingers dig into her breasts as she rubbed and kneaded them together with a grin.
"You're in dire need of some obedience training." purred Ivy rubbing her ass up and down the cock while giving Harley's nipples a pinch.
"EEP!" jumped Harley who groaned the more she felt Ivy's soft ass and her chest getting teased like this.
"This should teach you." Ivy licked her lips before leaning down and started sucking on one of the nipples while giving the other one a tug causing Harley to shout out in pleasure.
"OH FUCK RED!" Harley wailed out.
'Wonder if I should get her a collar. It would be kinky.' Ivy thought. She gave the nipple a little twist while grinding her ass against the dick with Harley whimpering. "Aw do you need to cum?"
"Fuck yes! Come on Red, put it in!" whined Harley with a pout.
Ivy moved her pussy over Harley's dick. She rubbed herself against the tip before slowly lowering herself down making both of them groan and Harley struggle against the vines.
"Oh god. Oh god!"
"Fuck it's huge!" moaned Ivy sliding over more with a bulge forming inside her pussy. "It'll probably make up for your lack of skill with it."
"Just start bouncing! This thing feels like it's on fire!" whined the hybrid.
Ivy chuckled and slowly moved up with a groan before sliding back down with both moaning out. "Oh my god its so thick."
"Your pussy is so tight it feels like it's ready to chop my dick off!" Harley remarked while whining.
"Try and endure it." moaned Ivy moving her hips up and down with gritted teeth.
"Ugh, ah, oh, holy jeez." grunted Harley with her tail wagging and her dick burning up the more the insides squeezed around her. "Oh my god, I'm cummin'!"
"Try to hold it in." moaned Ivy while reaching down to give the hybrid's chest a firm squeeze. "Wait for me."
"I can't! I'm gonna blow like a hose any second!" she grunted. "OH GOD!"
"Hold it in!" shouted Ivy.
Harley let out a loud growl before her wrists broke the branches and she slammed Ivy over her whole dick with the knot pushing in and making Ivy scream before the hot sperm started gushing inside. "Awwww! Oh fuck!"
"Ahhhhhh!" moaned Ivy feeling the sperm fill her cervix in seconds and seep into her womb with the rest making her belly slowly fill and seep out I of her pussy and over the dick. "Holy shit."
"Ah...ah….ah...woo, what a rush." panted Harley falling back and going cross eyed while Ivy panted and fell forward on the girl's chest.
"I don't think I can get off until the swelling goes down." remarked Ivy while shuddering with each load. "At least I can say I finally know what's so good about a creampie."
"Next time, you're on bottom. I think I'm getting an idea of how men think."
"Even Joker?"
"I said men. He doesn't count."
"Now that's my girl." she patted Harley on the cheek. "But next time, you go so primal on me, I'll make sure to get a new muzzle so you don't bite while your ramming me."
"I don't think Hyena's do that." remarked Harley while giving Ivy's cheek a lick. "Bud and Lou never did something like-Bud and Lou! I completely forgot! My babies!" she said sitting up.
"Woah there girl." spoke Ivy with a wince. "Neither of us are going anywhere until your not so little friend calms down."
"Gimme a minute to think of Commissioner Gordon in his boxers and it'll be down in no time." quipped Harley.
"I'm not sure if it's gonna be as simple as...oh...oh wow."
"Yeah, not a pretty image, especially with his age." Harley stuck her tongue out while they felt the knot slowly shrink.
"Oh god don't put it in my head."
"What about what you'd look like in one of those schoolgirl outfits? Now that's somethin' I wouldn't mind trying."
"Hey, at least let me get off before you get yourself hard again."
"Sorry, couldn't resist."
"You're still doing it!" shouted Ivy getting off as fast as she could when she felt the dick start getting hard again.
"Sorry, that time I was thinking of you in a spaghetti string bikini for a replacement to your costume." she chuckled while Ivy groaned and rubbed her face.
"Well if you keep this up we won't be able to go out and get your 'babies', unless you suddenly want to be a streaker and let everyone see your cock." Ivy remarked.
Harley blushed while we cut back over to the two hyenas trying out different clothes at the warehouse.
Bud was wearing a pair of blue pants with a white tuxedo jacket. Lou had on a pair of pink star shaped sunglasses with a yellow jacket with polka dots on it and a red undershirt with pants.
"Take those goofy things off." Bud said snatching the glasses off.
"Hey! I looked real good in those."
"No you didn't."
"Yes I did."
"Only if they're to hide your ugly mug."
"Seen any good mirrors lately? Oops, I forgot, they all broke when you tried."
"Why you…" Bud snarled and attacked.
"Knock it off!" yelled the Joker as the two started rolling around on the floor. "You two need to be on peak condition for the heist."
"He started it." they pointed at each other.
"Ad I'm ending it." he glared. "Now you are gonna learn how to use the guns and get ready or I'll have to use your old leashes." the Joker stated. "But first, what do you think of the new suit?" he said pointing to the white outfit.
"I don't know, you getting ready for the heist or working part time at fantasy Island?" remarked Lou with Bud snickering.
"No you mangy mongrel!" he snapped. "I figured it was time to try out something else."
"Ain't you hear how it's already past labor day?" remarked Bud. "Honestly you'd look better bare foote in a tattered straight jacket."
"Oh please, I can make any color look good, but thanks for the compliment."
"No seriously yellow jacket, with purple sleeves, and and fingerless gloves, maybe grow your hair out."
"What's wrong with my hair?" Joker questioned loading a gun.
"You've gone with the same style for decades." Lou stated.
"You gotta liven things up every few years." remarked Bud. "I mean clown in a business suit is not funny. It's like a horrific crossbreed between fun and boredom. Kids look at you and they think 'is this guy gonna make balloon animal or make a business pitch?'"
He glared at them while Mo, Cur, and Lar were getting stuff in the van. "Oh really? Like I'm gonna take some comedic advice from two animals who use to have fleas. The suit is meant to be the whole joke. Look at me, I'm a clown, but I'm dressed like a fine uptight dork. I shouldn't even have to explain the punchline or else there-"
"Isn't a joke, we heard." they cut him off while rolling their eyes making him more annoyed.
"Just cause we was animals doesn't mean we didn't learn from what we seen." Bud said.
"You watch so many comedy shows we know more about comedy than you."
Joker scowled and nearly aimed the gun at them before Mo tapped his shoulder. "What?!"
"He ain't wrong boss. The joke is played out."
The Joker felt his eye twitched and pulled the man up with the gain aimed at his forehead making the henchmen go wide eyed and start sweating. "Do I need to go out and find some new help with this heist?"
"N-N-N-N-No boss, it's your schtick, go with whatever you want." he gulped. "I also had to tell ya we got the van all ready."
"Good." he smirked before pushing him away as he turned to Bud and Lou. "You heard him boys, it's time for your first heist."
They hopped in the vehicle before Joker tossed the hyenas a gun each.
"Now we won't be able to use a target range so I'll make this brief. You put the bullet inside, pull it back, aim, fire, and watch as they paint the wall red. And the floor, and ceiling, and maybe even each other."
Bud looked at the gun before aiming at a crate, fired repeatedly, and made a smiley face. "Like that?"
"You call that a smiley face? I could make a better one with my eyes closed." remarked Lou closing his eyes before holding the gun out without seeing it aimed at Lar.
"Ngah!" Lar yelled and dropped in a curled position to the floor before the gun was fired and made another face in the wall, with dimples.
"Not bad, but don't go wasting bullets, make sure they go nicely squared in the guard's heads if they step out of line." smirked Joker.
"Whatever you say."
It took a few minutes before the van slowly stopped in front of the bank.
"So what's the plan?" asked Bud to Joker. "You go in first with a box of roses that has a gun hidden in it?"
"Of course not." he frowned before glancing down at the box on the floorboard and nudged it under the seat with his foot whole Cur and Mo started slipping uniforms on. "Cur and Mo here are gonna go in and let them know they're here to drop something off for the head of the bank. Next Lar and you two follow me in, with hats of course, and let them know we're here to make a deposit, then bam! Lose the hats and start shooting in the air to get their attention. But here's the punchline, we're there to deposit a few rounds into their heads if they don't fork over the dough."
Bud and Lou shared a glance with raised eyebrows. "Uh...sure, whatever you say boss."
"But shouldn't we be worried about the tellers telling on us?"
"Of course not, we're going to make sure each one is covered so they can't go off and call Batsy. Now let's go."
All of them got out with Cur and Mo going in first while the others checked their guns, unaware of the pairs of eyes spotting them from an alley.
"What is Joker wearing?"
"Guess he forgot it's after labor day. What I'd like to know is who the guys with fur are?
"New hired help?"
"Naw. He'd never hire anyone unless they made him laugh."
"Focus you two." spoke a deeper tone. "We need to get ready to jump in. Regular bank robbing or not we have to keep every person inside from getting hurt."
"Right." the two said.
Inside the two goons walked over to one of the bank tellers with a box.
"Excuse me gentlemen, can I help you?"
"We got a delivery for the owner."
"Oh? What kind exactly?"
"None of your business nosy."
She raised an eyebrow while Mo slapped the back of Cur's head.
"He means the boss here don't want no one snooping, very hush hush, says he wanted it delivered straight to his office." Mo said to her being as charismatic as possible.
"Hmmm." she tapped her pen. "Alright, go up the stairs here and it'll be the last door on your left."
"Thank you ma'am." they lugged it up the stairs with a smirk while inside the office the bank owner was currently talking on the phone with commissioner Gordon regarding a payment plan.
"Delivery." Cur spoke.
"Uh? What delivery?" he asked through the door.
"Look buddy we got a package here to deliver and we need a signature." Mo spoke.
The man sighed. "Hang on Commissioner." he got up and walked over before opening the door and suddenly found it thrown at him which made him fall back and groan when he felt the weight of it pin him down. "W-What's in here? Bricks?"
"Coitainly, nuck nuck nuck." chuckled Cur.
"Listen up here, this place is gonna be having a little visit from our boss, and you just became one of his hostages." spoke Mo without noticing the phone still on. "You think you can keep an eye on him chuckles?"
"Of course, what do I look like, an idiot?"
"...is that a rhetorical question?"
With the others, they walked into the bank with their hats keeping their faces covered and went towards the center bank teller.
"Get ready boys." the Joker grinned while tapping the glass. "Excuse me sir."
"Yes? How can I help you?"
"Well you see, me and my associates here came to make a little withdrawal." he said before tilting his hat up exposing his face before snapping his fingers.
"J-Joker?!" he gasped before the others started shooting bullets in the ceiling making anyone who heard instantly jump to the floor.
"Heh heh heh! Ahahahahaha!" the Joker laughed before pulling out his own gun. "Now about my withdrawal, I'd say all the money in the vault and in everyone's pockets should just about cover it. And if I see so much as one dye pack," he pointed his gun in the air and emptied half the clip in the ceiling. "Get it?"
The bank teller nodded before the gun was aimed at him.
"Come on now old geezer, I can't open it up myself, so you're gonna do it for us. Boys go ahead and 'help' these folk empty out their loot."
"You got it boss."
"What do we do if they move? Shoot?" asked Lou.
"If they start fighting back, don't wanna stane the suit with a gory mess." he replied before suddenly finding his gun knocked out of his hand with a batarang embedding in the wall. "What!?"
"Joker!" called Batman at the entrance with Batgirl and Robin at his sides.
"The dynamic trio, you got here faster than anticipated." he smirked while rubbing his hand. "Now I get to have my boys here get a little first hand training on how to shred a couple bats and birdbrain. Bud, Lou, sick 'em."
"You got it boss." spoke Bud before he and ran at them with Batman using his grappling hook to swing over them before they started to take swipes at Barbara and Dick.
"Woah!" Dick called out dodging another swipe. "Who are these guys?" hr asked and punched Lou in the face knocking his hat off.
"Woah, someone who could use a shave." replied Barbara who knocked Bud's hat off and went wide eyed seeing his face. "We might need a couple."
The Hyena's snarled at them showing their faces.
Seeing this made the people scream and cry out in terror.
"Oh my god." Batgirl spoke out.
"What? My good looks makin' ya speechless babe?" mocked Lou while Bud let out a growl and lunged at Robin who jumped over him and used his back to propel him away.
"Hey! Stand still you brat!"
"Joker, what have you done?" Batman questioned.
"Oh? What makes you think I did anything?" he laughed while dodging Batman's punches and tried pulling a knife out only for it to get knocked away and got a kick to the gut. He fell on his ass and held his stomach.
"I knew you were sick, but I never thought you'd go so far as to mess around with gene splicing." Batman walked over and pulled the clown up on his feet. "Talk, what made you think doing this to people was a good idea?"
The Joker smirked and started laughing. "Oh that's funny Batsy, you really think I'd go on and make just two of those boys? Please, if I could recreate it I would have done it for the three stooges, but no, I didn't make them. I don't even know how they got that way, I just woke up and they were like this. I'm not one to look a gift horse in the mouth so I didn't question it."
Batman narrowed his eyes before crying out when he felt a sudden shock go through him with Joker's hand against his arm which made him let go and stumble while Joker held up a joy buzzer.
"Relax Batsy, after Bud and Loud over there are done with their little snacks, you'll be on the main course." he said with a dark tone. "Mo, Lar, how's it going with our withdrawal?"
"There's enough dough in here to make our own bakery." chuckled Lar as they stuffed money in large bags with Cur dragging the owner with his body all tied up.
"And no dye packs." added Mo.
"Good, make sure to keep an eye on that old fool Cu-" Joker was cut off when Batman punched him several times while we see Bud grab Robin by the ankle and start swinging him around.
"Hey Batboy? I think you lost this!" Bud yelled and tossed the boy at his mentor.
Batman turned and managed to catch Robin while Lou grabbed Batgirl's cape and started tugging on it.
"Let go!" she tugged on it while he smirked and tugged harder. "This isn't some chew toy!"
"Now Lou, you know better than to play with you food." called the Joker wagging his finger.
"Sorry boss." he got out before letting go as Barbara stumbled before he pulled out his gun and aimed it at her before shooting, but he forgot to aim causing it to hit one of the glass windows. "Whoops, my bad, let me try again."
The sound of sirens made them stop before joker frowned angrily.
"Oh phooey, and I was just having fun. Boys! Get the loot and let's get out of here!"
The stooges grabbed the baggs and raced out.
"Whoop whoop whoop whoop!"
"Oh no you don't!" Robin pulled out a small pellet and chucked it at them at the entrance causing a smokescreen to pop up and made them stop before coughing as Batman pulled out a batarang and threw it before it opened up to reveal a wire that wrapped the three up together as they dropped the bags.
"You and your fancy toys!" Joker shouted before grabbing a gun and fired at the trio of heroes.
The three quickly jumped out of the way while the clown scowled.
"Bud! Lou! Rip the cables to shreds boys! We need to leave, now!"
"On it!" they ran over before stopping and started sniffing around the air.
"You smell that?"
"Yeah."
"What are you two doing? I said rip the cables not stand around smelling each other!"
"Smells like...vegetables?" bud scratched his head before a vine broke through the tiled floors.
"And...ma?" blinked Lou as the vine rose up and everyone there saw Poison Ivy riding on it along with a yellow furred humanoid hyena with bits of clothing over her body.
"Babies! Mama's back!" called out Harley with a grin while she jumped off and landed with ease, making the others, minus Bud and Lou, go wide eyed.
"That's…"
"Harley?" finished Robin with Batman silent and blown away, not that you could tell that much.
"Ma!" called out Bud and Lou before they ran over and tackled her before they started licking at her cheeks.
"Hahaha okay I'm happy to see you boys too, but now's not the time." she said before the cops pulled up.
"I got this." Ivy tossed out several seeds on the ground which began growing into vines that blocked the police from the entrance before part of the large stalk started growing out two smaller ones that lashed out and started wrapping around the Joker. "Now let's get out of here."
"Hey! Get this overgrown weed off me!" cried out the clown struggling as the stalk started moving back down the hole with Harley getting Bud and Lou to jump on it. "Don't let her take me away Batsy! HELP ME!"
Batman pulled out a batarang and threw it at the vines, but he saw them get swatted aside while Ivy wagged her finger.
"Ah ah ah Batman, not today." she smirked. "This clown has something coming to him, and Harley here isn't gonna get her big moment ruined, tata." she waved and blew him a kiss.
"See ya Batsy!" waved Harley as the large stalk receded in the hole completely along with Joker while the vines at the entrance went down.
The team of heroes walked up to the hole and looked down at the tunnel.
(Later)
Joker grunted as he tugged at the vinces while rocking in the chair he was forced to sit at. "Let me go you crazy weed woman!"
"Oh stow it clown." remarked Ivy while Bud and Lou were getting their ears scratched by Harley. "You've had this coming for a while."
"Hey ma, I got a question." spoke Lou. "Did you do something with your hair? You seem a bit...different."
"Something with her...are you an idiot?" Bud remarked. "She's a hyena!"
"Oh yeah! I figured that was it." he smiled making Bud groan. "Love the new look, it seems better than your old one. I never got why you wear these clothes things, they feel too itchy and warm." Lou scratched himself for emphasis.
"A little bit, but with the right clothes you can look as hot as the sun. Just look at Red over there." she chuckled while Ivy rolled her eyes.
"Alright, you can continue the family reunion after you tie up this last loose end." she pointed to Joker.
"Oh right!" she perked up before standing and walked over while Joker tried smiling.
"Harley, be a deary and cut these vines off."
She smiled and crouched down before holding his cheeks. "Oh Mista J, you're really deluded if ya think I'm gonna be helping you get out of this one." her smile turned to a frown before she smacked him.
His face reeled back before turning and scowled at her before losing it when he saw her baring her teeth at him with a snarl.
"For too long have I had to put up with so much BULLSHIT from YOU!" she growled holding her hand up and making him look at her with her claws out. "Do you have any idea what that's like? I did everything you said only to get squat in return!"
He gulped. "N-Now now Harl, that's not completely true. Remember the time you and I went around Gotham to help paint it red? Literally?"
"Oh I remember, you left me alone covered head to toe in paint, holding the can and let the cops take me away." she huffed pushing him away and letting him fall back and land on his back. "It took you two weeks to spring me because you were trying to find some other gal to take my place. Well I'm done with you."
"Oh come on Harley, you don't really mean that."
"Actually Bobo, she does." spoke Ivy with her arms crossed. "She's moving on from you and your little 'relationship'." she used her plants and lifted him back up. "Especially since that goo you made her carry is the result of her new change, along with a few other things." she muttered the last part.
"What are you going to do with me?"
"Tell me 'puddin', remember all the times when we actually did it and you thought you were more hung than Batsy?" asked Harley while idly looking at her nails while Poison Ivy's smirk grew.
"Yeah?"
"Well guess what? Before me and Red came in to grab you, I rocked her world, HARD." she said before pushing down her tattered pants.
Joker's eyes nearly bugged out of his head while Bud and Lou were unphased, only a little.
"Wow ma! You really did change." remarked Bud.
"Y..Y...You're a man now?!"
"No you idiot, she's now a hermaphrodite." spoke Ivy with a smirk. "She still has a vagina, but she also has a dick."
"And it's triple the size of your tiny pecker." laughed Harley. "How's that for ya Joker? Your old fan's got a bigger rod then you ever had. At least with Red I got her wet, with yours I barely got a trickle. In other words, you're less of a man than a woman."
"Damn, that things as big as an arm." remarked Lou.
"Does that make Red our ma too?" wondered Bud.
"We'll get back to that later sweeties." smiled Harley before grinning at the Joker and held up her claws. "But for now, I think it's time someone got fixed."
Joker's eyes widened and his pupils shrank before the claws came down. He let out an ear piercing scream making Ivery and the hyenas cover their ears while wincing, although Ivy thought in her head how she should have gotten a camera for this.
Bud shuddered and covered his groin. "The horror."
"Yikes, wouldn't wanna be him." grimaced Lou as the Joker continued to scream.
Harley pulled her claw back slowly and gave the clown a second to pant before swinging her other claw down and grinned sadistically as he hollered louder. "How's that for a laugh? You're whining like a little pussy and I just gave you a brand new one." she said before laughing.
Joker had tears of pain while looking at his mangled manhood with blood seeping out on the floor and scowled at her. "Y...You bitch! When I get out of here...I'm gonna carve out a brand new asshole for you and that flower fucking cunt!"
"Can I snap his neck now?" questioned Ivy.
"Come on Red, you really wanna make this creep go out like a light? Don't you want him to go out whimpering?" asked Harley who kept laughing. "I know you got special plants that could make even him cringe, so why not enjoy this while ya can?"
"Anything particular in mind?"
"Well, any kind of plants that can grow from the inside out of someone? Or maybe some spores that can make you chuckle until you croak?"
"I might have one or two."
"Then let's give him one. Bud, Lou, pay close attention, this is how mama deals with abusing assholes like the Joker here." she said as Ivy walked off to her work space.
"When I'm done, those two babies of yours are gonna be my new rugs." groaned Joker making the two hyenas frown.
"Oh shut the fuck up." Ivy said walking back over and threw a bucket of seeds on him making him shake his head while feeling some go down his throat. "Hope you like laughing Bozo, these seeds expel a gas similar to laughing gas to help keep animals too occupied, but with this much inside your system, I'd say they'll keep expelling enough gas to fill your lungs, or make you laugh so much you can't breath, we'll just have to wait and see." she grinned and tossed the bucket away.
He glared and tried struggling against the vines while inside the seeds started expelling the gas making him stop and start to grin before letting out a snicker and then chuckle which began to slowly grow. "Heheheheheheh. Bwahahaha!"
"Damn, those work fast." smiled Harley while sitting down and crossed her legs. "Got any popcorn?"
"Nope, sorry." Ivy said.
"Dang, I could go for a bite." chuckled Lou as the Joker laughed harder and struggled more in the vines. "Hey, this is actually making me laugh too."
"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" laughed Joker finding it hard to stop and breath as the gas inside kept on going making him try and wriggle his way towards the door.
"Think he'll make it?" Bud asked.
"My old chew toy says no." Lou said with a grin.
Joker started letting out a wheeze as he felt the air leaving him and getting more and more low.
"Think of it this way 'puddin', now you get to go out with a laugh." smirked Ivy. "Adieu."
The clown prince of crime let out one more laugh before slowly stopping as he went still with a smile and his mouth opened.
Harley walked over and put two fingers on his neck before shaking her head. "He's dead as a doornail." she said before letting out a sigh of relief. "You know, this kinda sucks."
"How so?"
"We should have gotten it on camera. Gotham might have given us a medal of honor." she chuckled while giving the Joker's head a kick. "Wooh! I never felt better in my whole life! Unless we could rocking the bed together, then this is a good close second."
"We could hang his body over city hall?" Ivy suggested.
"Or we could eat him." suggested Lou licking his lips.
"I don't know Lou, he might taste 'funny'." Bud jokes.
"And I wouldn't recommend it." spoke Ivy. "I never tested those seeds before so I don't know whether it's safe for another animal to eat since they might wind up inside you."
"You got a big freezer Red?"
"Of course, I need one for any new chemicals I steal to try and splice into new plants without them getting contaminated or mixed up."
"Good, get me a trash bag we'll stuff him in there and string him up on City Hall tomorrow."
"On it."
Later the two grunted and groaned as they struggled to get him in the freezer.
"Can't you get those two mutts to lend a hand?"
"Hey! I don't insult your plants so watch it with my babies."she said slamming on the body. "And for the last time. They. Are not. DOGS!" one last shove was enough to get the body in.
"Ok ok ok! No need to bite my head off." she said closing the door.
"Keep that up Red and I got something you can bite instead." Harley spoke and frowned.
"Just relax, I'll make it up to you later on, how's that sound?"
"...what did you have in mind?"
"Well, what if I let you do me doggystyle in the ass all night long?"
"Tempting." she grinned rubbing her chin while the hyenas looked around.
"So, does this mean we can stick around ma?" asked Lou.
"Well duh." she smiled. "You're living with me and Red now, who you can call mama."
"Seriously?" asked Ivy.
"Sweet!" they cheered.
"Who knows, one day we could get her in a gangbang." Harley whispered to the hyenas.
"Sweet! Uh...what's that?" Lou whispered to Bud.
"Something that will make the best day of your life seem like another average one."
"Oh! I still don't get it. But I'm excited to try."
(Epilogue)
"Harley!"
"Yeah Red?"
"Your little monsters are fighting again."
The girl sighed from the couch and got up before walking off. "Bud! Lou! What is it now!"
"Not those two." Ivy said opening the door to a bedroom. "I mean them."
Inside were a pair of young hyena hybrids fighting while rolling along the floor. One had blondish fur with some branches growing out of her back while the other one had red fur with some acorns growing from her arms.
"Okay you two, enough!" Harley shouted.
"But mom!"
"No buts." she crossed her arms. "Now one of you tell me what happened, and no fibbing."
"She broke my dolly." the hybrid with branches pointed at her sister.
"I said I was sorry but she didn't believe me." huffed the one with acorns.
"You never mean it when you say sorry!" shouted her sister.
"Yes I do!" the other growled.
"Kelly, stop." Harley warned. "Don't make me get your brothers in here to help you learn how to get along. Darcy, we'll steal a new Dolly for you later, so can you try to get along with your sister?"
"Oh...fine." Darcy said crossing her arms and pouting.
"Good girls." she smiled while ruffling their heads lightly. "Now play nice." she turned to the door and walked out of the room. "That'll keep 'em quiet for a while."
"It's going to be a nightmare when they're teenagers." sighed Poison Ivy while drinking some water. "I don't wanna even imagine what they'll do when it's their time of the month."
"I'm more worried they'll act the canecas me when it comes to guys."
"Not with how often you sock the Creeper everytime he finds us."
"Oh! That reminds me, you should really get more of those whipping willows around, I don't get how he gets by them all the time." Harley remarked. "Unless you want him in our bed too."
"Absolutely not. A hyena gangbang was crazy enough." remarked Ivy with a groan. "Next time Lou sticks with just my mouth, him going in my ass is way too rough."
"Still one hell of a night though." chuckled Harley. "I'm thinking maybe we really go all out with the foreplay tonight."
'Yeesh, I get her away from that madman and she winds up a nympho.' thought Ivy with a silent chuckle. 'Oh well, she gave me kids and we're both safe for now, so I guess it's better than nothing.'