TRIGGER WARNING: lots of suicidal thoughts and self harm. This may be a hard chapter for some to read.

Jareth was a man who was often careful of his word choice. He made sure to depict things as accurately as he could. Words had consequences. Words could also describe the most beautiful, and happy things in life.

But no words could accurately describe the pain he was going through. I will attempt to do so, but nothing will compare to the pain that cut through his soul the day after Sarah died. The day she was gone, he just walked around in a haze, not registering that she was gone. The world fell around him as everyone was preparing her body for the funeral right after their wedding and his detectives searching for the culprit. He just sat there, was shoved here and there by everyone who tried to make sure that even though their queen was gone, their king would still be safe.

He remembered the time when he was exiled from the Land of Mist for letting a goblin in. How scared he was then, and yet, he still at least had hope. He remembered the time when he was forced to marry Victoria and how he was contemplating his suicide so that he would cut himself off from being her tie to the Labyrinth so that one day, Sarah could come and rule as the rightful queen. He remembered that deep pain, that he had erased her memories of falling in love with him so she may be able to move on and be queen, but at least then, she would be alright. She could be happy.

Now, she couldn't. Now, she was lost from him forever.

For her death to be so soon and because of a stupid snake angered him. She had survived a real war against a fae princess/queen, and as a human back then! For her to die now as a fae queen form said dumb snake was almost an insult.

Jareth was not someone to do anything in a fit of range, not even when he saw the two disgusting excuses for humans try to rape his beloved. Even then, he did not kill them or even severely injure them. That, and the time he found his court was betraying him and his kingdom, were probably the times where he almost lost all control.

For Sarah, she had been his anchor. She had helped him get to therapy, to open up and to trust her as he had trusted no one before. She told him once that he had made her life truly worth living and happy. What he had always tried to show her was that she was also the light in his eyes.

With a sob and a yell, he grabbed a chair and threw it across the room, breaking window. Taking hold of the table cloth, he swiped everything down in one go, cutting through his gloves. Blood dripped from his hands, and he almost laughed at the pain, for it made him forget for one moment that his Sarah had died.

The chaos and pain FELT GOOD. He wanted to feel more of it. In therapy, their counselor and asked them if they self harmed and Jareth couldn't fathom why anyone on god's green earth would self harm. Suicide he understood, as in the minds of those people, it was a way to stop feeling the pain. But self harm? What could that do?

Well now he knew why. Pain was something that was not easily expressed, so having it on the outside calmed his insides a bit. It felt balanced and right.

He looked up at a poster in the library, one Sarah had bought. It was a poster depicting the time when David Bowie was dressed as Ziggy Stardust. Suddenly, Jareth remembered the time when Sarah found a picture of Ziggy with a knife at his arm, Bowie grinning maniacally like the theatrical artist that he was.

Grabbing a knife, he tried that, slicing it down his arm, satisfied at the blood oozing out. He thought about doing more, but decided against it. If he did it too fast, he would die and he wanted to feel the pain first.

Grabbing the bookshelf, he shoved it over and summoned a hammer, absolutely ready to obliterate said bookshelf. He didn't know how old the bookshelf was, it preceded him by many, many centuries most likely. He normally would be more careful at such a historical piece, but instead, just didn't care.

He smashed the thing to pieces, screaming swear words and gibberish. The only words that could be discerned was "Sarah" and "why," over and over.

Splinters all over covered his arms and legs, as he had ripped the ruined parts of his clothes off. Gone was the King that was very meticulous about how he looked and deliberate in everything. Here and now, he was an unrestrained, wild animal. In such a state of savageness he felt free and powerful, unrestrained by his mind and by any manners and rules.

And it felt so DAMN right.

He let out a scream, a long, long scream. One that nearly showed the pain in his heart, for nothing was adequate enough to describe that pain. Sarah was the beacon of his former dark and lonely life. She made everyone smile and brought to life everything she touched. Just seeing her walk in the room made him smile. Her laugh was contagious and sweet, like little bubbles popping in the summer from kids blowing them. Her very being was of goodness, pure and clean like a new flower after the first rainfall in spring.

Growling some more, he stomped out of the room, ready to destroy a different one. He went into the small kitchenette where he had built for himself and Sarah, just for themselves as they both loved cooking. He turned every chair upside down, every table was overturned. He grabbed a large knife and began to stab at the legs of the table repeatedly.

Then, he set everything on fire.

"Tobias James Williams, what on EARTH are you doing still up? And what is all that racket, are you watching some kind of violent movie? I knew we shouldn't have accepted that free TV from your Grandpa George. It'll rot your mind."

Karen went into her son's room, trying to discipline him even though she did so half heartedly. She was grieving over Sarah, everyone was. In Karen's family, their way of grieving was to let it out then get back to work, no matter how terrible you feel. Making yourself busy was the way to heal, as her father had told her. She had found that yes, it worked a lot of the time, for working could give the grieving individual a reason to live. However, it could be quite unhealthy as they would avoid the problem, burying it deep inside them. She didn't want to do that, but old habits die hard.

She still tried to have some degree of normalcy in her home. Grieving was okay, but watching violent films was not something she wanted Toby to do. Peeking into his room, she found him looking at something and she instantly started to sob once she realized what it was.

When Jareth first got his powers back, he had given Sarah a crystal to look through. Said crystal was to help her do a sort of phone call with but with video, and to look into Jareth's life, providing that he didn't shut the crystal down in privacy settings. That way, she could see how he lived his life. To respect each other's privacy, they only kept the thing on during working hours and weren't rude about understanding when they needed space.

Once Sarah got her own magic and lived with Jareth last year, a crystal was not needed anymore. She decided to give it to Toby, with Karen and Robert's permission of course and put limited hours on it.

It seems that now, Jareth had forgotten to "turn it off," so to speak. The crystal showed Toby every image of his brother-in-law throwing things and making a mess of himself. It was like watching a train wreck, you just can't stop.

Karen took the crystal from the boy, seeing that Jareth was purposefully self harming. Toby didn't even argue with his mother. He didn't even have a sorry look for peering into such a private moment. He just sat there, gathering his legs towards him.

"Mom?" His voice was sweet and quiet, reminding Karen a lot of Sarah when she was younger, before Toby was born. "What's happening to Jareth? Why is he so, so,"

"So scary and wild?"

Robert came in, and both his wife and son turned back, a little surprised as they weren't expecting him. He took Karen's hand and lead her over to Toby, also holding his hand. He sighed. "Toby, I think you know that this kind of behavior is coming from the fact that he just lost Sarah. She was the light of his life, and he has done so much to protect her, I can't even imagine. He is acting out, and we can't blame him. You should never hurt yourself, EVER. But Jareth needs help. He's not in his right mind. He is not to be blamed but needs comfort just like we do. Come here."

He gathered his son in his arms. Toby sobbed quietly, scared at the wild thing Jareth had become and still grieving over the sudden loss of his sister right after her second wedding ceremony. Karen joined them, the three wrapping their arms around each other.

After a few tears, Toby asked a question. "Should I go and check on Jareth?"

Oh, how pure this little boy was. He was just like Sarah, always checking on others. Karen quickly shut that notion down. "No, Toby. Though Jareth would never hurt you on purpose, he may accidentally. He may not even know what's happening to him. I know you have some magic but please don't go." She stole a quick glance at Robert.

Toby wasn't told this as they didn't feel the need to unless he asked (he was 11 years old, this was already a lot for him to handle), but Jareth had told nearly every single staff to take a week off and banned absolutely anyone from seeing him. It was absurd. None of his courtiers could talk sense into him and he ended up just nearly hurting them in a rage. His goblins were all literally kicked out and sent to the Bog, but were caught by anyone that saw the flying. No one could reach him. This has been happening for the past two days. He hadn't been destructive yet, just moping and heart broken, not attending his duties, not eating, not sleeping, and had watched every memory, every home video of Sarah, went through all her clothes and laid them out for himself to see, just anything.

Robert decided that this has gone too far. He decided to take matters into his own hands.

He knew that in order to get to the Underground, he needed to contact Jareth, who was currently not listening to anyone. So for that, he took drastic measures.

He looked at Karen and Toby. "I will be back. I promise. I'll take care of Jareth, don't you worry."

He cleared his throat, willing to do what he could for Jareth that he could no longer do for his little girl. Before he left, he made sure to grab Lancelot, Sarah's bear that she now gave Toby, along for the ride. "I wish the goblins would take me away."

"Hey, this looks familiar."

"Of course it does, doofus! It's a human!"

"My name is Gibby, not Doofus and you know that! And he isn't magical. Hey, why is he wearing Queenie's dad's clothes?"

"That's because I AM her father. Now can you all PLEASE take me to Jareth?"

Robert really wasn't used to these creatures. They were all fond of him and he found them amusing, but not no one really got them like Jareth and Sarah did.

One goblin gave him a strange look. "Well who's running the labyrinth if you're the one who wished yourself away? That's the rules!"

Robert groaned. "I'm sure Jareth will figure it out. He's a massive rule bender and does whatever he wants anyways. Just look at his hair. Don't you take all wished-aways to him anyways?"

"Oooooooh yeah we do! But he is angry. What if he kicks us into the bog?" One small goblin asked, as the bigger ones hoisted him up onto their backs to carry him.

Robert sighed. "Just drop me off somewhere nearby so I can talk to him. I won't let you get in trouble if you're taking me there. I promise." He emphasized that last sentence.

And off he went, to see the king.

When he arrived, he found that Jareth was even more insane than the images he found in the crystal. Now, he went from using tools to his body to ruin things.

He peaked in to see Jareth using his teeth to tear off the pieces of wood that was sticking out of the table. He looked like a monster, with his eyes bloodshot from lack of sleep, blood running down his limbs and sticking to his hair was ash from the fire he had set. His clothes were ripped and Robert heard strange noises coming from that he could only describe as "growling." His chest, heaving up and down, full of angry passion to destroy anything coming his way. The room next door was filled entirely with flames and Robert wished he had come sooner.

He remembered teaching Sarah to be brave, to be good and kind but above all, loving. He had to calm himself, and grabbed a nearby shield in the armory next door. If this had been nearly anyone else, he would have ran away. But for Sarah's sake, for his little girl who fell in love with a fae king, he would confront his son-in-law.

"Jareth!" Robert called out. "Please!"

Jareth looked up momentarily, a spark of consciousness appearing in his eyes. But only for a second, for he went right back to his rage.

"I DON'T CARE, ROBERT!" He roared through the fire, tearing a chair in half. "NOTHING MATTERS ANYMORE! SHE IS GONE!"

Robert's eyes filled with tears. This was the man that saved Sarah from assault many times when she was a human. This was the man that absolutely captured her heart and was so sweet and kind to his entire family. Even in this animalistic state, he loved Jareth. Like a son.

"Son!" Robert cried out. At the word, Jareth's eyes softened just a tiny bit, and his hands stopped destroying things and instead gripped the pieces of wood, knuckles white and his breath still.

"What?" Jareth managed to get out. It wasn't demanding, but full of surprise and unbelief in hearing Robert call him that.

Robert didn't say anything, but walked towards him. He held his hand out towards the king, without fear.

"Jareth, you ARE my son. The moment you proved yourself worthy to marry Sarah, back before she even finished high school, you proved everything. It's okay. You're hurting. I know. I lost my little girl, and you lost the love of your life. I can't pretend to understand what you're going through, but I can tell you that it's okay to hurt. But please, please don't let her absence turn you into this. Think about what SHE would want. She'd want you to be happy. She'd want you to mourn, to miss her, but to not hurt yourself over her." He laid a hand on Jareth's shoulder, the fae looking away in shame.

"If I hadn't pursued her," he sobbed out, "she wouldn't have died like this. This has to be an assassination, Robert. This was no accident. I've made her a target." Tears fell from his eyes, mixing with the blood on his face. Robert had thought earlier that Jareth looked like a monster. Now he thought he looked like a scared little boy, much like Toby.

"I am grateful that you came into her life. You gave her a reason to be happy. She was a flame that shone so brightly. She could've died in other ways, even if you hadn't courted her. A car crash. A fall. Anything. This is not your fault. Jareth, we are HERE for you. And no matter what, Sarah will always live on in your memories."

He held out Lancelot, and Jareth instinctively reached out to touch the bear, remembering how he had given it to Sarah when she was only five years old. Oh, how he remembered her sweet innocent face. He didn't fall in love with her then, not romantically as she was a child, but he was so drawn to her and wanted her to be happy in any way that he could.

Robert finally sat down next to Jareth. "Don't let her death take away all the wonderful things she brought into your life."

Jareth took a hold of Lancelot's arm, and looked at Robert with such fear and want of protection. "How?"

"One day at a time, my boy. One day at a time."

With splinters and cuts all over Jareth's body, Robert didn't care. He reached over and pulled him into a hug, letting him sob as much as he needed. Jareth hiccuped and coughed, all while Robert was cradling him like a small child.

"We're here for you. We will do this together. Let's get you cleaned up. It's okay to cry. It'll be okay."

Jareth had requested for some time off from his regular duties. Though his kingdom wasn't quite prosperous, it was still healthy and happy. He left any normal duties to his court, asking for a report at the end of the day and said he would only be disturbed by urgent matters.

As he had said to Robert, there wasn't a way that Sarah died by an accident. They took the snake and had it examined. It was unlike anything he had ever seen before. He asked his forensic alchemist and their team to work on understanding what made the snake so potent.

It seems that they have finished examining the venomous snake, which had accidentally been killed by Jareth when he had thrown the crystal dome over it, sealing off its air supply.

Jareth was in his personal study when a knock was heard. "Lady Amalthea." He greeted his forensic alchemist. He had hired her based on her credentials, as one of the geniuses in the court. She was loyal and honest, which helped him in times of trouble like this. He sat up from his usual lounging state to one of command. "You said you have finished with doing testing on the venom?"

The woman curtsied in front of him. She placed a vial down in front of him, a swirling magenta in color.

"Your Majesty, we have finished. This is no ordinary poison, as I'm sure you know. It has taken us a few days as it is one of the strangest things I've have ever come across."

"Really? Well that's saying something." He produced a crystal and rolled it back and forth to keep his hands busy. He hummed a bit. "You've been one of the top people in this profession before I even became king. Tell me, what makes this venom so different?"

Lady Amalthea produced a couple books and set them in front of him. Jareth raised his eyes, seeing that one book was an alchemist book and the other was a chemistry book, a human book.

"My lord, this venom is dangerous to fae, but let's say if you or I were to be poisoned by it, we wouldn't die. If you were bitten, you would've been saved. You'd be weak for a few days but you would have made a full recovery. It's made up of a lot of iron, which as you know was good for you in human form but ingesting that much as a fae is deadly. Also in the venom, there were some neurotoxins in snakes similar to the Above, ones that causes permanent muscle contraction which lead her Late Majesty-"

"No."

"Pardon, your Majesty?" Lady Amalthea looked a little nervous at his set jaw and upset demeanor.

"Just, don't refer to her as that yet. I know, she's gone, but please. For my sake." Jareth breathed out slowly. He knew it was putting off the inevitable, that Sarah was gone, but he couldn't bear to hear his subjects address her as such.

Amalthea bowed her head respectfully. "I understand, Your Majesty. As I was saying, the muscle contractions lead to her demise."

Jareth stood up and paced a little, trying to not act jittery. He still hasn't slept since Sarah passed, which was about three days now? Maybe four? He had no idea.

"My question to you is," he looked up at his alchemist, "why has she died? None of those things should've killed her as she is fae and those neurotoxins would only kill humans."

Amalthea conjured yet another book, one titled "Changlings."

"Your Majesty, though she is fae, she is still a changling. You know that she won't be a complete fae for about another few hundred years. That is what the venom has done, to pin point certain weak spots. You have given us permission to take her autopsy, and through her blood samples, we have found that by combining a large amount of iron and neurotoxins, they bounded together to hurt only a changling. It would have been easy to save a fae and a human, not an instant death. Her Majesty only had a few weak spots that could target her like so, and whoever concocted and bred this snake is obviously trying to kill only Queen Sarah and not you."

Jareth was stunned. This was beyond just tying to assassinate the monarchs, but was clearly aimed at hurting HIS Sarah, and Sarah alone.

He took a deep breath and looked at the scars on his arms from his outburst yesterday, willing himself to not go through that again. He gave a nod to his amazing forensic alchemist. "Thank you, my lady. I do ask that you all still keep the reason she has passed under wraps for a while, so we can have time to find the assassin. I release you all from that oath after a month."

Jareth had told Sarah's family, three close friends, and a few needed staff the reason for her death. He did not mention the snake to anyone else and prevented them from doing so. He needed to catch the culprit first and the less they know what he knows, the better. He was only holding them to keep that oath for a month because otherwise, it'll look suspicious on him and they may blame HIM for killing his own bride.

He gave a wave, dismissing her. "I thank you very much for the labors you and your team has put in to discover this. It means a great deal to me on a personal level. Please allow Lord Marcus in after you leave."

She gave a small curtesy, kissing his gloved hand as was customary. "Yes, my lord. If you need more studies done, do not hesitate to contact us." She walked out of the door, and in cane a young man with dark skin and kind brown eyes, full of reverence and sadness as he bowed towards the king.

"Your Majesty." He rose up a little slower.

Jareth held his hand out, indicating that Marcus should sit. He was quite fond of the boy, as he has helped Sarah in the Battle of the Crowns and remained so loyal to him. The boy held no prejudices and Jareth gave him an apprenticeship in the castle as a Royal Historian, where he was almost a master himself.

"You said you found something?" Jareth went to sit back behind his desk. He could tell just by looking at Marcus's eyes that they might've found something.

Marcus inclined his head politely. "Sire, my master and I discussed with Lady Amalthea and the zoologist, Lady Nix, about their findings. All sources lead the snake and its kind to one place; the Land of Giants."

Jareth didn't show any emotions, but his eyebrows went up ever so slightly. He waved his hand, and a piece of notebook paper and pen cane flying to his hands, and he began to jot some notes. "Go on."

"Our alchemists have been researching as well for its history. The snake has been banned many eons ago, as it is fatal to young fae children, giants, and changlings. To most anyone else, it COULD be fatal if they were not taken to a proper physician on time. The snake was also golden, making it a property of the Crown as King Charles and his father both have decreed that nothing in their kingdom should be golden except for jewelry, coins, and anything belonging to the crown."

"Are you suggesting that King Charles has something to do with this?" Jareth asked bluntly. Normally, such a thing would be frowned upon as a monarch accusing another monarch of treason is a high accusation that needed a lot of proof. And currently, Jareth did not have a lot of proof.

Marcus shifted in his chair uncomfortably. As Jareth's subject, this made this even more awkward for him as he wouldn't want to accuse King Charles of anything either.

Jareth leaned forward and spoke quietly. "Marcus, listen to me. The love of my life just passed away in an assassination attempt. I cannot overlook that. You don't know who they'll strike next. Let the protocols be damned. Just tell me what you think. Tell me your suspicions and I promise to not tell anyone else that they were yours as well. You have my word. You won't be accused of insinuating anyone for doing anything."

Maybe it was the promise that Jareth made that he wouldn't tell anyone. Maybe it was the fact that he saw such raw, pure, pain in his King's eyes. Maybe it was how he remembered how much he Sarah meant to him as a friend. Whatever the reason, Marcus relaxed and inclined his head again to Jareth. "Your Majesty, I would do anything to get rid of the assassin that has hurt Her Majesty. Thank you for understanding."

He ran his fingers along the arm rests, not meeting Jareth's eyes as he was still uncomfortable suggesting the name of the person he thought may be responsible for his friend's death. To suggest so to a monarch was a big deal.

He sighed, and spoke. "Sarah had confided in me, the night before the Battle of the Crowns, that the night before that you had taken her to a ball, and introduced her as your intended. Do you remember the negotiations she made with King Charles for the supplies for the Restoration?"

Jareth stroke his chin, knowing EXACTLY where this was going. "Yes, I do. Go on."

"Well, I'm sure you also remember the insults he threw at her for being a human and unworthy to be queen. Sarah, being the feisty person that she is," he paused and shared a small smile with Jareth to remember the fire that burned in Sarah, "she countered back and said some words about how he might've killed his predecessor."

"Of course she did." Jareth sighed. "Although, she had every right to, as he accused her of forcing me to fall for her and called her an enchantress, making them even and if she hadn't insulted him back, she would've been seen as weak. So do you think he may have killed her over this? It seems a very petty thing for Charles to do, but we don't have any other leads. I'll take everything you've said into consideration. Thank you."

Jareth stood up and Marcus took Jareth's outstretched hand to kiss it as Amalthea had. "If you need anything, my King,"

"I'll call." Jareth smiled. "Thank you."

Once Marcus left, he leaned back and sat alone, thinking of his beautiful Sarah. He tried to not dwell on anger or the unfairness of the situation or direct it at the assassin. He tried to focus on who Sarah was and how to keep her memory alive.

He conjured a crystal, watching his memories of her. He decided to watch an old favorite, their first date.

He realized that she looked ever so young, at just 18. He saw how nervous she was but oh, how excited she was to be going on a date with him as he handed her a tulip and kissed her knuckles like a gentleman. Her eyes green and vibrant, her smile as bright as the sun that could warm him up on even the coldest of days.

He watched her argue with him, refusing to accept his help in mini golf until he had to stand behind her, wrapping his hands on hers, making her nervous. Oh, how he loved to tease her! It would come that as Sarah got more and more confident, she was able to tease him back.

He fast forwarded it a little; to their second date, when he finally told her how much he loved her. He watched intently, as she professed her love and her willingness to sacrifice for him.

He knew that she would want him to be happy.

It's a difficult thing, trying to be happy when the person who brought you so much happiness has gone. Jareth was no exception, but he would try, try as he could for his Sarah.

She had been his future. He didn't know what he would do now that she was gone. He knew that he wouldn't ever marry again. Even if he could love again, he would never love anyone as much as Sarah and that would be totally unfair to anyone who tried to love him. He would have to pick someone to be his heir one day, which will probably come after her family had all passed. He had once considered Toby to be his heir, but now he realized that it may be too dramatic for the boy and he was afraid Toby would suffer the same fate as his wife had from the prejudices.

How he wish that he could go to the Summerlands with her too. He steered his mind away from those thoughts. It wouldn't do good to die by suicide. Though may not feel his life was worth living, he had a lot to do and many who depended on him.

For the first time since Sarah passed, he tried to go to sleep. Soft sobs rocked his whole body as he laid in a fetal position. He clutched Sarah's clothing, bringing it near him and he breathed in her scent. He hugged her nightgown and her favorite pillow, remembering his proposal to her and how that was the first night they had been intimate. Oh, how he loved her so. How he was so lucky to have been her husband.

And with that, he went to sleep.

There's no talk of how they would revive her in this chapter, as I wanted to show what a true, grieving Jareth will be like. As I promised, it will come back around and Sarah will be okay. I know, major spoiler, but I wanted you to know that it ends happy.

The grieving is based on a few things. The violence was based on how a friend of mine reacted when her brother died. The more subtle, crying part, that was based on my mom and I when my father passed. I figured Jareth would be more violent about it if Sarah died. In many ways, this was the hardest thing I've ever tried to write, to try to capture the emotions you feel when someone you love dies. But in many ways, it was easy too. I have experienced less where you are okay with it one day then you can't quite comprehend that they're gone.