Authors' Note: Thank you for continuing to support my story, it means the world to me! :)

Special thank you to someone I've grown really close to, UndercoverSquint! Thank you for all of your help with sorting my brain out, our daily talks, answering my questions, and everything I could ever wish for in a fellow writer and friend! You've been so supportive of me and my writing, what would I do without you? Check out one of my current favorite stories that she's writing: Ember. It's a fantastic read that doesn't ever disappoint! I promise you! Is it Wednesday yet? ;)

We're going to be jumping through quite a bit of time this chapter. I didn't want to delve too much into Trevor's life unless I really felt the need!

Okay, ready to see what Trevor's been up to? ;) Let's get to it!

Enjoy, loves. See you at the bottom!

Chapter 4 - Living my Dream

TPOV

Three years

It's been three years since I saw her. Three years since I've felt that spark. Three years since my lips touched hers. Three years since she whispered 'I love you.' Three years since we've parted ways.

It's officially been three years since she left me.

I haven't stopped thinking about my blue-eyed brunette since the moment she left. Her leaving was good for her, but it broke me. I was happy for her and her sisters, I honestly was. But, things just weren't the same. I'm not ashamed to admit that. I no longer had someone to keep me company while I was tending to the garden. I no longer had someone to just lay in the grass and read with. It felt lonely. But, work is work I had to remind myself. I needed to get the job done, and I did. I continued to work for the Trevelyan's until I was eighteen and finished high school.

Carrick Grey was honestly my biggest supporter in all of it. He told me the type of extracurricular activities I needed to do, school wise. Their eldest son, Elliot helped me with applying to my SATS and ACTS. It was as if I had an older brother guiding me through the process. We spoke on the phone often and even had video chats if I needed further assistance with things since they were in Washington and I was in Tennessee. He was just two years older than me, so he practically knew what he was doing. They also had a little girl named Mia. Now that little girl, she stole my heart. I've never felt such a connection with someone so young, but her bubbly personality even at such a young age, it drew me in. I felt like she was my little sister.

I ended up getting accepted into Harvard; I was ecstatic! A foster boy like me and I'm able to go to a prestigious college like that? I won't lie, I didn't believe in myself at first. I didn't think the admissions office would bat an eyelash towards my application, but I got accepted. I got a full-ride scholarship to Harvard due to my good grades and extracurricular activities. I wasn't into sports due to my issues with touch, but I did involve myself a lot in the school activities and clubs. I didn't necessarily break out of my shell, but I did just enough for an Ivy League college to even take one look at a foster boy like me.

When I told the news to The Trevelyan and Grey's during the winter break that they visited, they all congratulated me and told me just how proud they are of me. Mr. and Mrs. Pierce were also excited for me, along with Jack who will be attending Princeton. They really are great foster parents even though they're strict, but I think with the manners and responsibility they instilled in us, it will help us a lot in the real world.

Grace and Carrick treated me just as if I was another one of their children. She always brought Elliot to Tennessee whenever they came to visit, and it's mainly because of me. Older men always surrounded me, and they thought it would be nice to be around someone around my age for a change.

And it was.

Grace and Carrick told me about how they've been trying to try for another child, but it's just not working for them. I feel bad for them, I genuinely do. They have shown how loving and supporting they could be. That's what a family is supposed to do anyway, right? Grace and Carrick deserve a child of their own. Actually, the whole family deserves it.

I'm so grateful for them, and they aren't even my family.

"When you finish Harvard and pass your LSAT, contact me, son." Carrick Grey hands me his business card, and it feels so real to me.

This moment means so much to me.

They believe in me. My foster parents believe in me. Jack believes in me. I believe in me.

I can do this.

I can become the lawyer I've always dreamed of.

Four years later

I did it!

I finished Harvard three months ago and just recently passed my LSAT.

I'm so fucking happy right now; I could cry.

I'm now sitting in my small apartment that I'm renting in Boston.

When I attended Harvard, I got a job in the library because of her. I felt like by working in the library; I was somewhat close to her. Books were always her favorite thing, and her reading to me became mine. I always admired her love for books. Whenever I would touch one of the classics, I would close my eyes, and remember her melodic voice. It's been so long. I think about her, often. It's hard to forget someone who's made such an impact in your life even in such a short amount of time. I didn't bother asking about her after they left, they didn't know the type of connection Rose, and I had. I also knew that it would just hurt a wound that never healed.

Even with time, I never honestly forgot about her or those extraordinary blue eyes.

Shaking my thoughts of her, I pull out a business card that I've held onto for four years. I always kept it in my wallet because I use it as motivation. If I ever lost hope or wanted to give up, I'd pull it out and remember the words that Carrick Grey said on their last visit before I went to Harvard, "when you finish Harvard and pass your LSAT, contact me, son." Now I knew exactly what he meant, it wasn't until after I took the LSAT that I knew about the Washington Law Office Study Program. I wouldn't have to attend law school and I could take the BAR exam.

I pull out my phone and decide to give him a call.

"Carrick Grey."

"Hello, Carrick. It's Trevor Knight."

"Ah! Trevor! It's been so long! How are you and how is Boston?"

"I know. I've been focusing a lot on my studies. Boston is good, and I recently graduated." I beam.

"Graduated! Already? Why didn't you tell us? We would have come down for your big day, and I'm sure my mother and father as well."

"I apologize, I didn't want to intrude on your lives. My foster parents came, and we just had dinner. It was small, but this accomplishment was big… for me."

"I understand! No worries! Congratulations, by the way, we are so proud of you, Trevor." I smile widely at his comment.

"Thank you, Carrick."

"Let's get to business," he says in a serious tone, and I instinctively straighten up, "have you taken your LSAT?"

"Yes, Mr. Grey," I answer confidently.

"Amazing! When can you move to Seattle?" My eyes go wide with his questioning.

"Ex-ex-excuse me?" I stutter.

"I will ask again, when can you move to Seattle?"

"Seattle, Mr. Grey?" I choke out.

"Yes, Trevor. Seattle. When can you get to Seattle?"

"Uhh… As soon as possible, I suppose."

"This is the reason why I handed you my business card four years ago." He explains, "I saw potential in you even before you got into Harvard." I smile at the thought of how proud he is of me. "By now you would have heard of the Washington Law Office Study Program, something I'd like to offer you here."

"Thank you, Mr. Grey, for the opportunity. I can't thank you enough. I'll start looking for flights."

"No need, Trevor. I'll book a flight for you. Pack up your things, and I'll forward an email with the flight itinerary. Don't forget to mention these to your folks, okay? See you soon, Trevor."

"Thank you, Mr. Grey. You don't know how much this opportunity means to me."

"Just Carrick, son. See you soon. I can't wait to see how you work the courtroom." He hangs up.

Wow. This is it. I'm going to be the lawyer I've always dreamed of and work for Carrick Grey. I just have to pack up my things since my lease will be ending soon anyway and head to Seattle.

Who knew life would work out this way for me?

I'm going from a foster boy who thought dreams just stayed dreams, and now, those dreams are becoming reality.

Six months later (Seattle)

I moved to Seattle six months ago, and I have to say, I do enjoy living here. It took some time getting used to, but it doesn't take long for me to adjust to new places. Although, it's definitely different than Tennessee - the people, the areas, and the weather.

I've also been working as an apprentice for Carrick Grey who owns Grey Law Firm for the past six months. Carrick has a team of great lawyers, and I'm just glad to be one of them. He instilled his trust and belief in me; I certainly wouldn't ever let him down.

I'm living my dream.

It took some time getting used to, but Carrick has really helped me adjust to life here in Seattle. His eldest son Elliot finished college at UDub and is currently a construction worker for one of the biggest companies in Seattle. We live in the same complex, but both in different spaces. I value my privacy immensely and Elliot being the manwhore that he is… I just wouldn't be able to stand seeing women go in and out of the place.

We've occasionally hung out with a "family friend" of the Grey's, Susannah Lincoln. I can't lie, she's pretty and interesting to hang around. Although, I don't really know how I feel about her. Her personality is usually something I'm attracted to, but there's something off about her. She's doesn't make me feel uncomfortable, but there's just something about her that I can't put my finger on. Elliot continuously tries to get talk me into going out on a date with her, but I always try to avoid that topic with him.

He doesn't know what I'm into and he certainly doesn't need to know about my extracurricular activities.

Besides that, I've seen the Greys more than my own foster parents, who haven't come to see me since I've moved away. I do hope they visit soon and see how well off I'm doing on my own. While I do miss the craziness of living in their home, I do enjoy the silence and freedom I get in Seattle. We talk from time to time, and it's great. I've also been keeping touch with Jack who he graduated Princeton around the same time I finished Harvard. He is currently an editor at a big publishing house in New York.

Two months later

I need a scene.

I've been working so much; it's literally driving me crazy! I've hit the mark; non-stop clients and court appearances… how does one do it?

I need it now!

Back in my college days at Harvard, I'd met a couple of girls. Yes, girls not women. Some were so childish, and I had no idea why I'd even had the mere thought of sinking my dick into them. No one compared to my Rose and let me tell you; I had become a bit obsessed with brunettes. I haven't even had sex with her, but I was continuously comparing her to different girls. I was looking for girls with the same features as her; chocolate brunette hair, bright blue ocean eyes, and a cute dimple on her left cheek when she'd smile. To my much disappointment, none of them could ever level up. I was angry with myself most of the time when I thought about why I sought out brunettes, and it's as if I'm trying to replace her.

I'm not.

I missed her so much to the point where it would literally make my heartache. I drank myself to oblivion most nights of my first semester, and it was completely irresponsible of me. I put her on such a high pedestal in my life that I couldn't actually enjoy the experiences of my first year of college. So, I stopped trying to compare girls to her, stop trying to looking for the perfect match. I had to in a way… put down my expectation of girls and just try to go with what I've got. That's when I met Vivian. She had sleek black hair, honey brown eyes with specks of green, and she was definitely prettier than most girls I've encountered. A big plus was that she wasn't like another one of those girls; she was a woman.

I lost my virginity to her.

I won't lie though; it wasn't all that fulfilling. We had sex, and that was that. There wasn't anything that exciting. I thought that losing your virginity would be life-changing, but I was wrong. Maybe I'm not doing it, right? Vivian had a very strong, dominant personality, while also being very protective and nurturing towards me. I think that's what I liked the most about her. She respects my boundaries. She said that's what she does. I felt like there was double meaning going on there, but I had no idea what it was.

And boy did I learn exactly what she had meant.

One night she wanted to 'experiment' as she called it, I was game. She came to my apartment dressed in straight leather. It was fucking hot! My dick stood at attention just at the mere sight. She commanded me to do things and even tied me up, it was arousing as hell. Giving up that control was liberating; I have never felt so free. She wanted me to try it on her and switched the roles a bit, and it suddenly didn't feel as arousing as it did as when she was in control. I tried to tie her up, but I felt nothing.

I don't know why.

What aroused me was thinking about her tying me up again. And fuck did she do it when I asked, I gave her what she called 'my submission,' and holy fuck did my sexual fantasies come to life. I furthered my research on the lifestyle, and it peaked my curiosity to a different level; it spoke to me in ways that I don't think many would understand. We came up with an arrangement, signed contracts, I then became her submissive. We'd either do some light scenes at my apartment or hers and occasionally go to local BDSM clubs in the area. This went on until the end of my sophomore year of college.

For my junior and senior year, I had to focus more on school. I was almost done, and I couldn't keep on doing what I considered extracurricular activities. I'd occasionally go to the BDSM clubs for a quick scene, but that's it. Nothing more and nothing less.

Which brings me to the here and now.

I've been searching up for places to go and possibly find a Dominatrix that I can contract with. My search hasn't been easy, but I've narrowed down an to two options: Lace and Leathers or The Power Exchange. I've been reading up on both, Lace and Leathers seems to be like the clubs I'd go to Boston, and that didn't give much privacy. I needed something more. I needed something that could protect my privacy because who the hell would want to know I do this stuff at the law firm? Shit, no one!

So, The Power Exchange seems more like something I'd go for; they are a members-only club. I decided to email the owner, but what I got back was an email from the manager, Leila Williams. She was really quick and straight to the point in what they needed. Necessary information, preferred name, body pictures while naked, a headshot, and $10,000 cash for my membership that I would have to pay yearly. I could work with that; I've been saving up money for months! I'm hoping that this all works in my favor and I'll have a Dominatrix to scene with tonight.

It's 6:30 pm, and I'm standing inside of the lobby of The Power Exchange awaiting for Leila Williams. As I'm waiting, a brunette who appears to be in her late twenties comes in full view after about ten minutes. She has light brown hair and chocolate brown eyes. She's wearing a black fitted suit and a pair of heels. Professional.

"Trev, I'm Leila Williams." She sticks her hand out, and I instinctively stand up and shake her hand.

"Hello, Ms. Williams." I greet her.

"Please follow me to my office, and we can discuss everything there." I nod, and we proceed to her office. As soon as we walk in, I take a seat in the leather chair from across her desk, and she closes the door then takes a seat.

I feel like I'm being watched in here. It's an uncomfortable feeling.

"Let's get straight to business, Trev. I've got a busy schedule lined up for today." I nod. "As you know, I am the manager of The Power Exchange, and we respect your privacy in the highest regards. You may or may not know this, but this is one of the most expensive BDSM clubs in Seattle to get into. That is because we honor that privacy so much. You will have to sign a standard NDA to protect you and us. We never use our first and last names here, so if there is a name you wish to be called, introduce yourself as that.

We will never reveal your identity no matter the cost, which is why we require you to sign the papers in the name you preferred to be called and only handle cash transactions. The $10,000 that you pay tonight will be good for up to a year. If you would like to renew, that rate stays the same, and you pay it upon the anniversary date of your first year."

Wow, that's a lot that this club has going on.

I feel uncomfortable under Ms. William's cold expression and hard gaze. The way she explained everything, it's as if it's been practice perfectly to a T. "I understand," I gulp.

"Let us proceed, I can tell this is your first time here, and I've studied the body shots you've sent over. I see you have a few imperfections on the chest and upper back." I nod at her observation, "are you new to the lifestyle?"

"I am not," I answer quickly.

"Hmmm. Are you looking for an interactive Dominant and submissive relationship?"

"At the moment, no. I am strictly looking for a release." She nods.

"Now, here is the contract, you may look it over and if you have any future questions or concerns after signing, do not hesitate to contact me. My contact information is just at the bottom of the last page, and also I can give you my business card." I quickly look over the documents in front of me and sign while handing her an envelope with $10,000 cash inside.

"Great! Welcome to The Power Exchange, Trev. Here is a red bracelet to wear when you are roaming around the club. The red bracelet lets others know that you are active submissive willing to submit. When you have a Dominant or Dominatrix, they will provide you with a black bracelet; which will let others know that he or she is owned. Any questions?"

"None at all, Ms. Williams."

"Great. I will email you if anything comes up." I nod, stand up from the leather seat, and exit the room.

It's nearing 7:15 pm as I leave the club. I need to get home and wash off this day because reminiscing about my past isn't something I like often doing.

As I get home, I take out a glass and a bottle of bourbon for a quick drink. After a glass on the rocks, I decided that it's time for a quick shower before I attempt to make myself some food. I run straight to shower, strip my clothes off, and hop right in. The warm water washes off everything from today, it's relaxing. I can't believe I let my thoughts of Vivian come to mind, but she is the one who introduced me to this lifestyle. She helped me repress those obsessive thoughts and feelings I had about Rose. I haven't kept in touch with her at all since our arrangement ended.

I'll be sad to admit, I've always wondered if Rose ever thought about me the way I did of her. I wonder if she compared me to any of the guys that she has been with. I also wonder if she was right here in Seattle.

I suppose I could go on a search for her… look her up online, ask the Grey's, or even give a quick call to the Trevelyan's but I'm mostly afraid.

What if they tell me she's married and had kids already?

What if they tell me she's living this grand life?

What if it's something I really don't want to hear?

So, I relent. I don't want to know where she is exactly and I'm trying really hard not to care. But, I can't help it. For the life of me, I'll never understand why I can't get her off of my mind. Is it because she's the first girl I've ever loved? It has to be that.

Getting out of the shower, I wrap a towel around my waist and head over to my closet to grab some clean clothes to change into. I usually go to the gym after I return from work, but I think today I'll pass. I take a look at the clock, and it reads 8 pm, have I really been in the shower that long with my thoughts? I put on some clothes and as I'm pulling my shirt over my head, my phone pings letting me know that I have a new email. I run towards my phone and open it up.

"Trev,

It was a pleasure meeting you earlier at The Power Exchange. I know this is a very short notice, but we have a Dominatrix who has interests in having a scene tonight. You are the perfect match she is looking for, and I'm sure she wouldn't disappoint. If you are up for it, please come to The Power Exchange to the private room. You will see a blue button up, black boxer briefs, and black slacks laid out on the bed. Please wear that attire and nothing else. The Dominatrix would like you to be on the kneeling in the middle of the room in those clothes only with your head bowed down, and palms resting on your thighs face up no later than 9 pm. You will be provided with aftercare tonight.

Please check-in at the front desk.

Directions to the private room A: Go up the stairs and make a left, then go down the long hallway and there will be a door at the end.

Thank you,
Leila Williams Manager of The Power Exchange."

Oh, fuck!

I go into my closet and grab some clothes to wear out. I take off my pajama bottoms and replace them with jeans and grab my black leather jacket at lightning speed.

I go to the kitchen and grab my keys and wallet then head out the door to my car.

On my way to The Power Exchange, I can't help but feel giddy and nervous at the same time. I haven't had a scene in so long, and I'm so eager to let this pent up frustration and stress out. I hope the Domme that I have is good at what she does. I wonder if she does penetration during the first scene? Fuck! Thinking about having sex has me hard. I haven't had any pussy for awhile since I've been focusing so much on my career! I've resorted to watching porn, jacking off, and imagining how Rose would look like by now like some horny teenager. Fuck! Now thinking of Rose has me hard as fuck. It's 8:30 pm when I enter the club and check-in. I slip on my bracelet and head straight to the private room, and I don't even bother looking at my surroundings.

My head is bowed because I'm trying to make sure that no one notices me. I'm walking so fast towards the staircase; I may as well be running. As soon as I get to the bottom of the stairs, I bump into someone and slowly begin to pick my head up.

"Sorry," I mutter. As I lift my head, my eyes wander at the woman standing before me; she is dressed in tight leathers, and high heel fuck me boots. Fuck, she's hot.

Fucking hell. Damnit. Shit.

I'm now met with a pair of eyes I thought I'd never see again.

Her honey brown with specks of green to my gray.

"Trevor?" She asks with a smile on her face.

She remembers me.

"Vivian? Wha-what are you doing here?" Fuck, is she my Domme?

"Just visiting Seattle, I've never been." She shrugs, "I thought I'd check around some local BDSM clubs to have a private scene and found this one. It's much better than the ones we visited back in Boston, huh?" She chuckles.

"Definitely," I answer and feel nervous, so I begin to shuffle my feet.

"Expensive as fuck, though!" She eyes my bracelet, "still an active submissive, I see?" I nod. I'm sure as fuck she's still an active Domme. I don't even have to look. "Not taken yet?"

"Not at the moment." I gulp, "are you heading up to the private rooms?" I ask curiously.

"Yes. I'm supposed to have a submissive ready for me by 9 pm." My eyes go wide at this.

Fuck, she must be my Domme.

I guess it isn't a bad thing; we're pretty familiar with each other.

"Oh," I breathe out. "I am uh heading in that direction too." I feel my palms begin to sweat.

Why do I feel so nervous?

"Are you?" She raises a brow at me with a seductive smile on her face. "Well then, why don't you head to the room you were assigned, Trevor?" She rubs her hand gently on my arm, then moves out the way and gestures me to go up the stairs. And right before I'm about to take my first step she says, "it's 8:50," she says sternly as I look back at her. Have we been talking for that long? "I'm going to the bar to have a quick drink; you know my favorite... a screaming orgasm might do." She points to the direction of the bar, "I expect my submissive to be ready dressed, in position, and ready no later than 9 pm whether I am in the room or not." She instructs. "If my submissive isn't ready at nine sharp, a punishment for tardiness will be in tonight's' scene." She says with a twinkle in her eye.

Fuck.

"Sure, Vivian." I gulp and begin to my way up the stairs to the private room while adjusting my now hard cock.

I can't help but feel so fucking aroused.

I'm mentally preparing myself for a scene with the woman who introduced me to this lifestyle...

Vivian.

Gulp. Well, well, well, my girl Vivian... she's baaaack ;) Don't worry, it's not what you possibly think, hehe! ;)

If you read my old chapter four, you can tell this is entirely different! I'm not big into law and everything I've provided is through google. There will still be mistakes, but please note that this is just a work of fiction. It's no excuse, but my research can only go so far! I won't get everything right! But, thank you to those who have pointed out some mistakes and helped me further some research! It's much appreciated! :)

Thank you for reading! Don't forget to leave a review and share your thoughts with me! See you all... soon! x