Broken shards of glass glistened ominously under the harsh, orange glow cast by the overhead fluorescent lights. Scattered haphazardly across the carpet, the remnants of the room's one mirror would serve as a warning signal should anyone dare cross the door's threshold.
Sitting cross-legged in the middle of the room, the last concern on Kylo Ren's mind was that any of his officers would be foolish enough to disturb him.
No, they're all getting exactly what they desire. The realization nagged at him, but he could barely summon the energy to care what took place on the Bridge when he was absent, as long as his orders were still followed without hesitation.
"As you sit here moping, your adversaries seize control." Kylo Ren didn't even bother to raise his head to look as the sinister form of his former master appeared, glowering down at him in disdain. "Pathetic."
Kylo slammed his hands on the floor at the mocking tone, savoring the fresh waves of pain as splinters of glass tore through his palms, staining the carpet red.
For the past week, ever since his last real conversation with Rey - if saving her from drowning multiple times and arguing over nothing could rightly be called a conversation - Snoke's ghost form had rarely left his side.
The constant litany of "traitor" and "failure" had quickly worn out his overtaxed mind. In private, these mostly one-sided conversations with his dead master were easier to handle.
But more than once already he had lost control in front of the soldiers - his soldiers. He knew from their frightened expressions that rumors were circulating as to his mental stability.
His most ill-timed outburst to date had occurred earlier that day on the Bridge, surrounded by all of the highest-ranking members of the First Order who tried their best to appear unaffected, contrasted by an incredibly smug General Hux. One moment Kylo Ren had been listening to Captain Phasma - who had somehow, once again, survived being blown up and tossed over the side of a gaping hole in the floor - report the latest failures of her scouts who were out searching for Resistance forces, and the next moment he was screaming furiously at what his officers saw as nothing but air.
Utterly humiliated, he had fixed General Hux with a glare intense enough to wipe the smug grin off his face before storming from the room with an excessive show of power. Maintenance would fashion new doors for the Bridge by morning, replacing the ones he had torn from their hinges with the Force.
Now, sitting on the floor of his room and obstinately fighting the urge to unleash his pent-up frustration on a transparent being who could not possibly be injured, Kylo Ren was forced to admit to himself that he was quickly becoming unhinged. More so than normal anyway.
"Do you think you can ignore my presence?" His master spoke again, the condescending tone grating on Kylo's nerves.
"Just leave me alone," Kylo responded. This time, he didn't bother hiding his weariness. Though he was uncertain how much power a Force ghost actually possessed, he was confident that no act of indifference or show of strength would persuade Snoke to believe that his presence was not, in fact, tearing Kylo apart.
Piece by piece, just like the mirror that lay shattered all around him.
"Ah, did you imagine that I would abandon you once I died?" A chill ran down Kylo's spine as phantom fingers curled under his chin, forcing his head to rise to meet his master's gaze. Appearing much as he had in life, the only noticeable differences in the Supreme Leader's countenance in death were his lack of a physical body and the eerie red glow that highlighted his spectral figure.
Staring into his master's cold, cruel eyes, Kylo Ren found he couldn't move. Conflicting emotions stirred within him: Fear, shame, relief. "Even now, you do not fight me." Even though Kylo knew it was impossible, he felt the grip on his jaw tighten. "What compelled you to betray me?" Panicking, he tried averting his eyes and freeing himself, but no matter how hard he thought to struggle, his body would not react. "Was it the girl?"
"No." The lie passed through his lips before he could think of an explanation to cover, to somehow turn Snoke's thoughts away from Rey. A vision of her being tortured sprung to life before his eyes. Even in death, he knew his master would find a way to hurt Rey again. He would not allow that to happen. Not after everything he had thrown away just to save that sentimental girl's life.
"Do you care for her?" A sound like grinding nails sounded deep in the Supreme Leader's thoat. Chuckle increasing in volume, Snoke released his grip.
The second lie refused to be uttered. Not knowing how else to respond, Kylo looked down at the glass mingling with the blood flowing from his torn palms. Beyond guilt, he had no idea what he felt toward the girl who so desperately wanted to follow along in the footsteps of the Jedi; she had no idea that what she was searching for were merely false teachings.
"What did you think would happen once I was dead, my foolish apprentice?" Kylo lacked a response to that question, as well. For a brief moment, he had thought that Rey would stay with him; he had imagined that they would be free from oppressive authority together.
Disappointment coated his master's words, "I had such high expectations when you first came to me, demanding knowledge and power. And now look at you, abandoning every lesson I drilled into you head. All for some lowly scavenger."
Pain and anger fueling him, Kylo struggled to his feet, ignoring the fragments of glass that cut through his clothing. Summoning strength he hadn't realized he possessed, he freed his lightsaber from its hook on his belt, igniting the crimson blade. "Get out of my head!" He demanded sharply.
Snoke shook his head tauntingly, the transparency of his body blurring the movement. "Do you think she will return for you?" That slow grin twisted his face, the smile that always indicated the next lesson was going to be an especially painful one. "Everyone has fled from you." Unconcerned with the lightsaber humming inches from his face, Snoke stepped closer. "No matter how much you fight it, you were destined to follow the path of the Dark Side. All alone."
Scream tearing from his lips, Kylo Ren stepped forward, slashing and hacking at the space his master occupied from beyond the grave.
Laughter echoing through the caverns of his mind, the ghost faded away. "You have always been drawn to the darkness, since the very first moment you embraced the Force."
Chest heaving with exertion, Kylo surveyed the damage and noted with little care that the majority of his chambers had been cleaved apart during his rampage. All that mattered was that he was alone, for the moment.
"I think I would prefer having that arrogant, idiotic Jedi haunting me like he promised," he muttered. "At least I would enjoy repeatedly killing him."
Deactivating his lightsaber, Kylo mused over Snoke's words. Was leading the First Order his destiny? Did he even want the responsibility? Did he have a choice?
It doesn't matter if I want it or not, the power is mine now and I have to hold onto it. Power is the only thing I have left.
But keeping Hux and those other vultures occupied and docile is going to be impossible with Snoke showing up at the worst possible moments. Power struggles were hard enough without having to factor in deceased Supreme Leaders who refused to mind their own business.
"What is the point in killing people if they keep coming back? Dead people need to stay dead." He commanded; absently wondering if Snoke could even still hear him or if he was talking to himself again. I'm officially going to be crazy. And no one is going to consider me a leader - not even the most idiotic of stormtroopers - if they seriously start questioning whether I'm sane or not.
Just days ago, he had been occupied with trying to keep Rey out of his head and now he had two people - two incredibly different people with conflicting values - pulling constantly at his mind. Both of them drove him crazy.
Rey puzzled him. Everything she did, she claimed to do in defense of others. As if she alone was responsible for protecting the galaxy. But hadn't all of this been thrust upon her, all because she had been in the wrong place at the wrong time and had, for some unfathomable reason, elected to aid the Resistance? General Organa probably had something to do with Rey's newfound drive to help the Resistance succeed - that woman had always possessed an irritating knack for convincing people to pursue things they had no interest in, no matter the cost.
Until they had been connected through the Force, Kylo Ren had assumed that Rey was simply another puppet of the Resistance whom their cold-hearted general would throw away without a second's hesitation. He knew first-hand what happened to people who refused to fall in line with Leia Organa's plans. Siblings were similar in that way, he supposed.
What he hadn't expected to learn was that the majority of Rey's passion and drive came from her own convictions; the Resistance merely served as a way to funnel those attributes. It seemed that Rey legitamently cared what happened to her friends.
He had found himself eager to please her, wondering if she could be persuaded to care about the man who was supposed to be her enemy. Though the brief capability of Rey's care for him had diminished as he stood in shock over his master's body, unable to make any further move to assist even though saving friends was all Rey cared about, he had been unsuccessful in shutting off the raging protectiveness he felt whenever his mind wandered to think of her. Puzzling indeed.
His master dredged up memories of inadequacy: All the times he had failed to live up to the expectations piled upon him, in his current life and the last. Knowledge was all he had craved, some little understanding that would explain the turbulence he felt unbalancing his mind and tearing his heart to shreds. Snoke had taken full advantage of his naivety.
As deeply as he wanted to find a way to contact Rey, to try and explain why he could not help her - though he wanted to, oh how he desperately wanted to - communicating with her right now was too unsafe. At any moment, Snoke could reappear. If he truly had formed their connection in the first place, it was possible that Snoke could infiltrate…
Kylo shook his head, abandoning that line of thought. I'll die before I let Snoke anywhere near Rey's mind again.
The intensity of the thought froze him in place. Would I really die for her? What purpose would that serve? I need to train her so she doesn't get herself killed, not die protecting her.
Hooking his lightsaber back onto his belt, his fingers brushed the small, metal object that he kept stashed on his person at all times.
"I'm not alone," he reminded himself. A genuine smile lifted the corners of his mouth as he thought back to Rey's confident assertion from a few weeks earlier. "Since the beginning, I've never been alone."
Maybe he was stuck on a downward spiral of death of destruction, but that didn't mean Rey had to be. On the off chance that his multiple visions of Rey embracing the darkness were accurate, Kylo knew he had to do everything in his power to change the direction of those visions entirely. Rey would not be the same person - full of hope and optimism - if she fell to the Dark Side: He certainly wasn't.
Lifting the transponder, Kylo sent out a brief, encoded message to the one person who had repeatedly proven their loyalty: the only person he knew he could always trust.
Basking in the tumultuous mixture of emotions washing over him, Kylo Ren decided then that he would do it all: Bring the First Order under his control and save Rey, even if the entire galaxy was against him.
The ratio of Light and Dark shifted deep within his fractured soul.
***
A/N: Thank you to everyone who has read and followed so far. Please leave a review and let me know what you think.
As readers, would you rather have shorter chapters and I update more frequently or longer chapters that take longer to upload?