Nervous energy pumped through Rey's veins as she tried to stand as still as possible under the scrutinizing gaze of General Organa. Explaining to the general of the Resistance that Rey was bonded through the Force to the current leader of the First Order, who just so happened to be Leia's son, had been one of the most embarrassing conversations Rey had ever been part of. Of course, it had not helped matters that Rey had kept silent about the bond. Now it probably looked like she had something to hide. A few days had passed since the general's original questioning and each day that passed without the topic being broached again left Rey feeling anxious.
It was impossible to tell what Leia was thinking behind her mask of indifference. When the general had first confronted Rey while she was recovering from her latest trip down vision lane, Rey had tried to deny the accusation, caught up as she was in confusion over how Leia had even figured out to straight up ask if Rey had a connection with the general's son.
Rey's confusion had quickly shifted to a shameful blush that bloomed across her cheeks once Leia explained, in a patient and yet stoic tone, that Rey had been mumbling Ben's name while she was partially unconscious. Thankfully, as no one else in the Resistance besides Chewy knew about the familiar ties between the Resistance and First Order, Leia had confronted Rey alone. For that, Rey was grateful. As it was, she had no idea how she was going to come up with an explanation for why she had passed out in the middle of a battle meeting. It would have been even worse if she had to explain to Poe and Finn and Rose why she was communicating with their enemy.
"I know this looks bad," Rey began, unable to stand the silent tension any longer. "But really, I just didn't want to worry anyone. It's not a big deal." If the raised eyebrow and unconvinced look on the general's face was anything to go by, Rey knew she needed to think of something else to say. Fast.
"Does this happen often?" Leia questioned before Rey could come up with a better excuse as to why she had kept her weird relationship with the new Supreme Leader quiet.
"Um," Rey paused, not sure how to respond. "It's only happened a few times since Crait." She admitted, fully aware that Leia was waiting for more of an explanation. "I never know when it's going to happen until it does."
"And what is causing this to happen? Is he doing this to you?" The slight undertone of anger in Leia's voice surprised Rey immensely. The general didn't get angry; maybe occasionally filled with righteous indignation, but not anger.
"No!" Rey blurted out, feeling suddenly burdened to not let the blame for their connection rest on Ben - Kylo Ren, whatever she should call him. "At least, I really don't think so. Snoke said that he connected us so I'm not entirely sure why it's still happening now that he's dead."
The general turned her eyes to the cave wall behind Rey's head, searching the stones intently as if they held answers. "But this connection is hurting you if what I witnessed in the War Room a few days ago is any indication."
Her pain wasn't the issue. "Well, sometimes, but-"
Leia interjected, speaking over Rey as if she had not heard her speak. "Maybe he did not cause this connection, but it seems that he is using it to bring injury to you. Any injury you suffer, the Resistance suffers. We cannot allow this to continue."
The general's refusal to even speak her son's name set Rey on edge. What had happened to bring this rift between the two of them? To an extent, Rey felt herself feeling empathetic to Kylo's split with his uncle, though she would never admit that to him for fear it sounded too much like she was excusing the terrible things he had done. "No," she said again. "The pain I'm feeling, it's not actually hurting me." Rey racked her brain to come up with a way to explain, "It's more like a phantom pain."
Leia continued looking unconvinced so Rey threw all caution aside and gave voice to her suspicions. "I think the pain I'm feeling doesn't belong to me. Our connection sometimes lets us feel what the other is feeling. So whatever this pain is, it's coming from Ben. Something is hurting him and he seems to be trying to block me from the worst of it because he keeps pushing me out whenever we're connected, but it must be overwhelming him since some of his pain keeps transferring over to me."
Rey breathed in deeply, hoping that her explanation didn't sound crazy. "Our last conversation felt more like a shared vision of some sort: We were in this lake and there was this strange cloud-like substance that kept pulling me under water. But," Rey noted with a touch of fondness in her voice, "every time I felt like I was drowning, Ben pulled me back up. He kept saying that it wasn't safe for me to be there and that I needed to leave. I don't really know what he was talking about. Nothing seemed dangerous until this swirling, black vortex of heat came out of nowhere and wrapped around him. Then I woke up." She has to understand, Rey thought desperately. Ben isn't hurting me; something is hurting him and I need to help stop it.
"Did it speak to you, this cloud?" A soft voice asked from directly behind Rey.
Barely registering the look of shock on Leia's face, Rey turned around, completely unprepared to see a fuzzy, blue-tinged Luke Skywalker standing there, a strange mixture of glee and sadness splayed across his features. Instead of the scruffy, grumpy looking man she had encountered in life, the man before her appeared well-kept and steady, though still the same age she remembered.
"Wha-How," she sputtered, unable to form a coherent sentence.
"Force ghost," Luke stated by way of explanation, gesturing to his blurry outline. "It's a Jedi thing." Ignoring the look of shock that Rey feared would be now permanently etched onto her face, Luke turned his gaze to his sister. "I don't think I have much time so we should quickly move past this phase of utter surprise and get to the important stuff."
Turning his attention back to Rey, he shot her a quick look of mock disapproval at her still shell-shocked expression. "The cloud you saw, did it try to speak to you at all? Maybe try and tempt you with something?
Gathering her bearings slightly, Rey gulped and nodded. How had Master Luke known about what the voice had told her?
Ghost Luke looked thoughtful. "That's what I thought."
"But what does it mean?" Rey implored. This whole not knowing was driving her crazy.
"What you felt, that was likely the pull of the dark side." On the surface, Luke's tone sounded calm and even a bit comforting, but Rey thought she heard a twinge of unease slip through. "I believe my sister is correct; we need to find a way to sever this bond once and for all. Though," he mused, "if Snoke actually had the power to bind you two together in the first place, your connection should have snapped the moment he was killed."
"Then why hasn't it?" Leia questioned, her voice not betraying any surprise at seeing her brother from beyond the grave.
"Good question." Luke turned to Rey questioningly, "How did Snoke die, exactly? Perhaps knowing the details of his death will shed light on the situation."
"Uh," Rey averted her eyes from the siblings as they both waited eagerly for her response. Until this moment, no one had really asked her how the former Supreme Leader had been killed as everyone was simply excited that he was dead. Rey had been more than happy to pretend that she had somehow killed Snoke by herself, as that pretense exempted her from having to explain her connection with Ben. But now she was stuck in a room with the only two people besides herself and Ben who knew about the connection and she was watching her lie unravel.
"I didn't kill him," she muttered, focusing her eyes on a small crack in the ground that tiny bugs were crawling in and out of. "Ben did," she admitted, not wanting to see the emotions playing out on her leaders' faces at the news. I keep calling him that. But that's who saved me, isn't it? For just a few minutes, he put that ridiculous persona aside and became himself again.
"He did what?" The surprise in Leia's voice was unnerving. Did she really believe that her son was so far gone that him actually helping Rey was so doubtful?
"Ben killed Snoke." She repeated, eyes shooting up from the floor to sternly meet the befuddled expressions of Luke and Leia. Two people who failed him. Just like I did. "Snoke was torturing me, probing my mind trying to learn things - trying to find out where you were." Rey pointed a finger in Luke's direction before continuing. "I guess he found out what he wanted to know because then he told Ben to kill me. The whole time I was being tortured, Ben just knelt there, watching." A small shudder crept down Rey's spine as she thought back to how calm he had been, how certain she was the he was going to kill her just as easily as he had murdered Han.
"I thought he would," she confessed, not wanting to share how terrified she had felt as that crimson blade ignited before her eyes. "But he didn't." Why did he let me live? "I ended up on the ground somehow; I think he might have pushed me out of the way. The next thing I really remember was looking up and seeing the determination on Ben's face as he cut his master in half."
For a long moment, no one spoke. As the silence wore on, Rey became less and less certain that sharing what had happened in the throne room that night had actually been the wisest decision. What if they thought she was lying? But surely no one had actually bought that she killed the Supreme Leader all by herself? Yes, she had come a long way in the past few weeks from the lone scavenger girl that Finn had found on Jakku, but she was hardly a trained Jedi.
Finally, Leia broke the stifling silence. "I don't understand." Rey looked at her, noting with sympathy and a bit of gladness the wetness welling up in the older woman's eyes. So she does still care. "If he killed Snoke," her words were shaky, so unlike the composed general Rey was used to seeing, "then why hasn't my son come home?"
Luke spoke up softly, "Because that's not the end of the story. Is it, Rey?" His voice strained as he tried to keep his emotions in check. His gaze shifted and Rey realized he was being careful not to look his sister in the eye.
How had she been drawn into all of this family drama? "No, it isn't." Wary of Luke's wearied expression, Rey slowly and carefully detailed how she and Ben - mostly Ben - had fought together and killed Snoke's guards - Ben had given the guards a proper title but she couldn't remember what it was. She kept her emotions out of the story, trying to ignore how right it had felt fighting together; how nice it had been to depend on another person, knowing that they wouldn't let you fall. For selfish reasons she didn't even know how to begin describing, Rey kept the retelling of her argument with Ben brief, merely explaining that they had divisive opinions and had realized that being on the same side was impossible.
Guilt and shame kept her from bringing up the broken lightsaber that she kept stashed under a loose floorboard on the Falcon.
Based on the not extremely favorable reactions she had received by telling the story so far, Rey felt it was a smart idea not to mention that Ben had tried to persuade her to rule the galaxy with him. That seemed like a tidbit of information best kept to herself for the time being.
"He remains lost, then." Leia stated reservedly, all trace of sadness chased away by the stoic calmness now resting on her face. So that's where Ben learned how to look so calm under pressure.
That sick pressure built in Rey's stomach again. How could a woman who constantly brought ordinary folks to rally under a banner of rebellion have so little faith in her own son? "I think you're wrong about him." She insisted, her voice strong as she faced Luke. "Both of you are wrong about him."
Oddly, Leia didn't respond.
"I wish I were." Ghost Luke replied, seemingly unfazed at being called out by his former - current? - student. "I would love to be wrong about him. But I'm not."
Anger bubbled up in Rey at how quickly Luke was willing to dismiss all evidence pointing to the fact that his own nephew was not, in fact, too far gone to save.
He continued, undeterred by her raging emotions. "I know what I saw in him, Rey. You saw it, too, in that latest vision you had." Luke paused, searching her eyes. "I know you want to believe that there's still good in him, but the darkness you felt pulling you down belongs to him."
Desperate to do something with her nervous energy, Rey began pacing. "You're wrong," she muttered under her breath. "I know what Ben's power feels like and this darkness wasn't him." Frustration tore at her mind. The answer seemed so close, so obvious, but she couldn't quite place it.
"Rey," Luke began.
An idea sparked to life in Rey's mind as her eye caught the blurry outline of her master. "Wait. Is it possible for people who use the dark side to be Force ghosts, too?"
Luke hesitated. "I've never heard of such a thing happening...Why?"
That seems unfair. "Because I know what I felt." Rey stopped pacing, her back to the siblings. "It was Snoke. Somehow-somehow he's still around. Maybe he's talking to Ben like you're talking to me." Ignoring the words Luke was sputtering behind her, Rey continued. "That would explain it all. Snoke would be angry that Ben killed him so he's hurting him and I can feel it because we're connected. Right?" She spun around on the balls of her feet, expecting to be congratulated for her reasoning skills.
Instead, she was distressed to find both her master and the general of the Resistance staring at her with unreadable expressions.
"I highly doubt that." At least Luke had the presence of mind to look slightly apologetic as the words slipped from his tongue. "I've seen the darkness in him, Rey: It's immense and nearly impossible to control. There isn't anything else you can do for him." he insisted patiently.
"So I should just give up?" She snapped. "Like you did when you thought about killing him?"
If ghosts could pale, Luke did. "That's not-"
"You told me," Rey continued, anger coating her words, "that you considering killing Ben that night he burned your temple down. You said you had your lightsaber out, that you were ready to strike-"
Luke's blurry form flickered. "Yes, I did consider it. But I didn't actually try, I thought better -"
"You did what?" The eerily cold voice of General Leia Organa halted the intense staring contest taking place between master and student.
Rey's eyes danced between brother and sister. She didn't know? How could she not have known?
"What did you do, Luke?" Leia demanded, staring intently at the quickly fading form of Luke Skywalker.
Weariness and guilt flashed across his face. Luke opened his mouth to respond, but his form disappeared from view before whatever words he had planned on saying had taken on a verbal quality.
That's convenient, Rey noted as she looked at the place her master had been floating seconds prior.
***
The sweltering humidity of Dxun's surface proved more favorable than the suffocating tension inside the cave base. Rey breathed a sigh of relief the moment she was out of sight from the base's entrance. After the whirlwind of emotions she had just experienced, it was a nice change to be away from all the people crowding each other in the caves.
Thankfully, the general had not expected any further answers from Rey and had quickly excused herself from the cave's room once Luke had vanished.
How do you keep that kind of secret from someone? Rey wondered as she determinedly pushed her way through the thick underbrush on her way to check on the Falcon. How do you turn away from family so easily?
If I had a family, I would never give up on them, no matter what they did. She thought of Finn, of his hearty laugh and the way he could raise her spirits even during the worst times. He knew what it was like to feel trapped in a life that you hadn't chosen. And yet, somehow, he always had a broad smile on his face and stuck by her side even when the odds were stacked against them. She thought of Poe, the brave fighter pilot who, according to Finn, was fearless and reckless to the extreme. She thought of Rose, the young woman who had saved Finn's life and helped bash some sense into his head when he felt like running.
They were all misfits. They had all committed crimes. So why did they all get second chances when Ben was left on his own?
Sweat and blood mingled together, sliding down her arm from where the sharp vines had cut her bare skin. Unconcerned, she pushed on. Heat pressed in on her from all sides, drawing her mind back to the tempting warmth of the creature in the lake. It couldn't really be the darkness that Luke suggested, she would have been able to tell. But, she mused, Ben was worried. Why would he be worried about the darkness, though? And why would he be worried about me?
Some answers didn't come easily. Maybe life was just unfair. Maybe not everyone got the second chance that they deserved.
Maybe some people couldn't be saved.
A shadow crossed the rough path in front of Rey. As a precaution, she reached down to her hip to retrieve her blaster. Only to realize she had left it on her bunk that morning. She was alone in the jungle. Alone and unarmed.
Panicked, Rey closed her eyes and tried to remember the lessons Luke had taught her. Though few in number and hardly detailed enough for her to use to fight, they just might be able to keep her alive.
Calling on the Force as normal, Rey dipped into the Light energy she felt pooled within her. The coolness washed over her aching limbs, chasing the tiredness from her mind.
"You're the new Jedi." A distinctly feminine voice remarked from off to Rey's left.
Eyes snapping open, Rey raised her hands, ready to fight.
A woman a few years older than herself stood a few feet away. Hair the color of sand basking in the sun hung off to the side of her head in a single, tight braid. Piercing dark blue eyes stuck out like beacons from the woman's pale skin. She was clothed in form-fitting, light grey leather armour; a cloak the color of ash lay draped over one shoulder. Quickly, Rey's eyes were drawn to the two lightsabers hanging from the woman's thin belt, one on each side, ready to be drawn at a moment's notice.
"Who are you?" Rey demanded. She felt the stagnant strength of the Force coursing through this strange woman's veins and it frightened her. Master Luke claimed he was the last Jedi. Was he wrong? Or lying?
The woman raised her hands placidly, careful to keep her distance from the lightsabers on her belt. "My name is Anya Dineyia, young Jedi, and I was sent here to teach you the ways of the Force."
***
A/N: Thank you for reading!