Randy Cunningham: 9th Grade Ninja (Series Rewrite)
Author's Note:
Hello again, my friends! :) Time for another "episode"! But first:
Review replies!
Aquainfurnus: Thank you for the comment! This chapter is for you! (And anyone else that asks for an update!)
XD (Guest): Thanks! :)
DarkenedRainbowz: I'm glad you're fine with the OC's, but I will do the kunoichi! She may not be Randy's love interest. But, the kunoichi will be here and I will make her different from the other stories.
Taylor Devline: :) Thanks for the review!
Nomi Norisu: Thank you! I hope you like this chapter!
Ninjarose2002: Thank you! :D I hope you like this chapter!
Okay, in this chapter, is the rewritten version of "So U Think U Can Stank". I like the idea of how kids at the talent show get stank because of Howard the Mean Judge humiliates them. But, this time, I will rewrite it so that Howard and Randy are judges, but they judge truthfully. Only, when Howard harshly judges Miranda Ellen (a new OC!) about a mess-up in her performance, she gets stanked and starts kidnapping students who do get in. It's up to Randy to save the day when Miranda kidnaps Howard as revenge.
You know the drill. I will apologize for any errors (grammar, spelling, etc.) in advance. I'm not a little Miss Perfect Mary-Sue, people!
Disclaimer: I don't own RC9GN. If I did, Howard would be nicer, there would be a kunoichi, "Flume-Igation" and "On the Poolfront" wouldn't exist, there would be subtle mature and dark themes, and I wouldn't be writing this thing! RC9GN belongs to Jed Elinoff, Scott Thomas, and Disney XD! I also don't own the song "Too Cool" by Meghan Martin that will be in this chapter!
Everyone who reads my story, read and enjoy please! Don't forget to review, either!
(…..LINE….BREAK…..)
Episode Three: So U Think U Can Stank
Episode Three (My Version): Honesty Hurts a Lot
…..
Randy and Howard were walking towards the school. As they walked, they were constantly bumping into people. The people they bumped into kept shooting them glares and saying 'watch out, kid'.
Randy accidently bumped into a girl blonde hair and baby blue eyes. The girl glared at him.
"Watch out, kid," she said in a Louisianan accent.
"Howard," said Randy, "have you notice people have no idea who we are?"
"What are you talking about?" asked Howard, clueless. "People at this school love me! I even got a nickname. The Watch-Out Kid!"
They stood at the middle of the main hall. An olive-skinned girl bumped into Howard, dropping her books.
"Watch out, kid," she said in an Italian accent.
The girl picked up her books, and walked away. Randy shook his head.
"You're not the Watch-Out Kid! They're saying 'watch out, kid'!"
Realization spread across Howard's feature. He frowned.
"Oh," he said. "Then yeah, we're completely faceless."
"See! I told—Oof!"
Randy was knocked down.
"Oh my god!" said a voice. "I'm so sorry."
Randy looked up and was met with a pair of dark blue eyes. The person, who the eyes belonged to, was blushing furiously as she helped Randy up. She bent down and picked up her baton, causing some of her purple hair to fall over her face.
"Are you okay?" she asked.
Randy nodded and dusted himself off.
"Yeah, I'm fine, Theresa."
Theresa blushed as she looked away timidly.
"Sorry for knocking you down," she apologized quietly. "I was hurrying off for the auditions."
"For baton twirling?" asked Randy.
"No, for the talent show," she said. "Anyway, I gotta go. See you!"
The purple-haired girl ran towards the gym, where there was a long line. Randy and Howard looked towards the line, where a tall, red-headed girl was on her tablet. She had on a red hat with a camera attached to it. Howard frowned instantly.
"Heidi," the ginger muttered as he looked at his older sister.
On the monitors, Heidi's image was broadcasted. The peppy red-head gave a smile as she stood in front of the line.
"What up, Norrisville?" she asked. "It's your favorite Gossip Girl, H-dubs. I'm right now outside the gym where the Norrisville High Talent Show! Auditions will be put on hold, due to Bash and Mick backing out so they can be in the talent show themselves."
The students booed, lucky that the bullies weren't there at the moment. Heidi raised a hand and the jeering died down.
"But don't you worry!" Heidi reassured. "I already found the perfect candidates for the new judges; my little brother Howard Weinerman and his best friend Andy Cunningham."
"What?!" yelled Howard over the cheers.
"My name is Randy!" Randy protested. "I've know Heidi my whole life and she still hasn't learned my name!"
"Speaking of the judges," Heidi continued, walking towards the two teens, "here they are now!"
The camera was suddenly on them, making Randy freeze and Howard give his sister a murderous look.
"Not only will they be judging; they may also get a chance to be known school-wide!"
"Heidi, there is no way in hell I'm…Did you say we might get a chance to be popular?"
Heidi covered the camera, and glared at her little brother.
"If you don't wonk this up, then yes."
"Then we're in!"
Randy glared at Howard, while Howard was going on about how he would make sure the Talent Show would be the best one ever.
….
"I can't believe you got us into this," Randy hissed at Howard.
"If we want to be popular," whispered Howard, "then we have to do this. Besides, I can't say I'm best friends with the Ninja! It will totally blow your cover and you'll murder me!"
Randy huffed and looked away.
The two boys were sitting at a table that faced the stage where people would be auditioning for the Talent Show. Behind them, an audience was watching. Everyone was eager to watch.
Randy just wanted to run off and be in that crowd since he had no idea how to be a judge. But, Heidi threatened that if they screw up, she would post the video of him and Howard taking a bath together (and not the one when they were three).
But, as the audition went on, Randy actually enjoyed being a judge. He and Howard argued who should and shouldn't be in the talent show, but still had fun. Randy only told the truth and what he thought, while Howard only like the ones that were awesome [like the kid magician who asked for a volunteer to be sawn in half (the volunteer being Heidi)]. Randy even got to enjoy Theresa Fowler's baton twirling performance, while ignoring Howard accusing him of having a crush on Theresa.
Randy looked at his clipboard to announce the next act.
"Next up," he said, "is Miranda Ellen."
Up onstage, a girl walked up to the microphone. She had long, dirty blonde hair that reached past her shoulder blades. Her eyes changed in the light and her skin was fair and flawless. She wore a golden sequin dress, white tights, and gold high-heels. From what Randy heard, Miranda was the most popular girl at school, due to her mom being a pop-star.
Miranda smirked as she held the mike. She took a deep breath, and sang.
I'm too cool for my dress
These shades don't leave my head
Everything you say is so irrelevant
You follow and I lead
You wanna be like me
But you're just a wannabe
Love it or hate it
I can't help the way I am
Hope you don't misunderstand
But I'm too cool, too cool
I'm too cool to know you
Don't take it personal
Don't get emotional
You know it's the truth
I'm too cool for you
You think you're hot
But I'm sorry you're not
Exactly who do you think you are?
Can tell what you what, that you haven't got
But when we walk into the room
I'm too cool for you
You're lucky I'm so nice
Even I'm surprised
You are still allowed to be in my crew
I'll show you how it's done
If you wanna be someone
Just watch me and you'll learn some
Me, myself, and I agree
You'll never catch up with me
'Cause I'm too cool—
Miranda tripped over a cord, and landed on her butt. The audience started snickering, making Miranda glare at them. But, Howard was laughing out loud. Everyone placed their gaze on the ginger.
"That's hysterical!" he laughed.
"What is?" asked Miranda, who was glaring daggers.
"You're singing this song about how perfect and cool you are. Then, right when you're saying how you're too cool, you trip and mess up! That is so-o-o not cool!"
Howard and the audience were laughing out loud. Even Heidi was holding back laughter, causing her to snicker loudly. Miranda's cheeks turned bright pink, her eyes too glassy.
Randy watched as she ran off stage, crying.
…...
Backstage, Miranda hid behind the clothing rack. She sat in fetal position, with her knees close to her chest and her head resting on her knees. Tears streamed down her face, causing her mascara to run.
"Stupid Howard Weinerman," Miranda said between sobs. "You have no idea what talent is unless it smacks you in the face!"
Above her head, green mist pooled out of the vent. Miranda looked up, and gasped. The mist entered through her mouth, and her eyes turned yellow. Her mouth morphed into a beak, her arms started growing yellow feathers, and a bird-like screech escaped her throat.
In a matter of moments, Miranda was a humanoid bird creature. Miranda spread her wings, and flew up.
She landed on the beams that had the spotlights attached to them. She looked down, and saw the auditions were still underway. Miranda growled.
"If I cAn'T bE iN tHe TaLeNt ShOw," she said in a garbled language, "ThEn ThErE wOn'T bE a TaLeNt ShOw!"
With that, Miranda flew to another part of the backstage.
…
"Thank you Juggo," Randy said as the clown teen walked off stage.
So far, the Talent Show already had eight acts. They just needed five more and then he and Howard were done.
"Who's the next act?" Howard asked.
Randy was about to answer when the Nomicon started glowing inside his jacket. Randy frowned, and gave Howard the clip board.
"Cover for me," Randy said. "And be honest, or I won't hesitate to give Heidi that video of you singing a Taylor Swift song."
"It was a dare!" Howard protested.
"Not. That. Video," Randy hissed as he walked away.
Howard grumbled and muttered something about devious best friends.
Randy quickly went to the very back of the gym and hid underneath some bleachers. Sitting with his legs crossed beneath him, Randy placed the book in his lap and opened it.
"Alright Nomicon," he said. "What do you want? Kinda in the middle of judging auditions here!"
The pages flashed, and Randy's pupils shrank. His head fell right on top of the book.
…..
Randy was falling, yet again. This time, a neon pink arrow was holding him. But, the neon pink arrow turned into a silhouette of a ninja. It set him down in front of a field. At first, there was nothing in the field, just grass and mountains surrounding it. Then, suddenly, a doodle drawing of a ninja appeared. The doodle ninja held a sword, and narrowed his eyes. In front of him, a man in a strange cloak stood, with green mist surrounding him. High up in the sky, words started forming as the two doodles fought.
Centuries ago, a great war was waged between good and evil, between Ninja and Sorcerer. Too powerful to destroy, the Dark One was locked deep underground, his prison sealed with a sacred stone.
The doodle ninja casted the man in the cloak down a hole, and sealed it with a yellow stone. The scene shifted to the underground cavern of the cloaked man's prison.
In the darkness he waits to wreak havoc. Possessing the vulnerable, using that which they hold most dear, using the power from chaos. Once he gains enough power, he will escape and darkness will reign.
The last thing he saw was the cloaked man shooting green mist towards the yellow stone, breaking it, and causing chaos in the world above. Randy's eyes widen and he felt something strange in his stomach.
"The Mists of Misery," he said. Randy shook his head. "Wait…how did I know that?"
The pink ninja silhouette grabbed his arm, and looked him straight in the eye.
"He gains power from misery," the pink ninja said. "And misery can be caused by many things; a broken heart, rejection, humiliation…"
With that, Randy was pulled out of the Nomicon.
….
Randy bolted up, banging his head on the bleachers. He cursed under his breath and stuck the Nomicon back into his jacket.
"I will never understand that book," he said to himself. "Why tell me about some evil dude who uses misery as a…HOLY SHIT! MIRANDA!"
Realization spread across his features when he remembered the girl who ran off stage, crying. Miranda Ellen must be miserable, meaning the Sorcerer could turn her into a monster. He had to find Miranda, and he had to do it right now.
Randy ran towards Howard, who just finished judging a dance team's performance. The purple-haired teen quickly took his seat next to the pudgy teen.
"Howard," Randy whispered, "we got a major problem."
"Don't worry," Howard whispered back, "I didn't screw anything up and I was honest. We got eleven acts, only two more performances to be chosen and we're done!"
"No, you don't understand. When Miranda ran off after she messed up, she—"
A loud screeched filled the gym. Everyone looked up in horror as a humanoid bird creature flew around. The creature's yellow eyes locked on to Howard, and it growled.
"Holy son of a mother!" cried Howard. "Is that Miranda?!"
The answer was given when the monster roared.
"YoU dOn'T kNoW TALENT!" Miranda screeched. "YoU bE iDiOt!"
Miranda flew down, and grabbed Howard. The ginger screamed as the humanoid bird flew off. The gym erupted in chaos as students ran around screaming and cursing. Randy quickly ran through the crowd and towards the stage. Miranda was flying backstage, he was sure of it.
"Looks like it's Ninja-o'-clock!"
Randy grabbed the Ninja Mask and quickly put it on. In a matter of seconds, he was fully suited up and running faster than he normally would.
"I'm coming for you buddy!"
…
Being best friends with the Ninja had its perks. But, right now, there was not perk to this.
Getting trapped in a cage by a deadly humanoid bird creature was not something Howard expected to happen when his best friend was the Ninja. No, he was in deep cheese if his best friend doesn't save them. No, Howard wasn't stupid. It wasn't just him that was kidnapped, there were more.
Somewhere backstage (damn, backstage was huge), Stanked-Miranda kept him and everyone who got in the Talent Show in cages made of sticks and props. Howard was trapped in a cage made of sticks and plastic swords with the magician kid that sawed Heidi in half.
"Believe or not," said the boy, "this isn't the first time I got put into a cage because of my magic acts."
"Oh really?" asked Howard.
"Yeah," the boy answered. "One time, I accidently made my sister's homecoming dress disappear and she locked me in my un-escapable cage for a week until she found it. Apparently, I made it go back to her closet."
Howard laughed. "Sisters, am I right?"
"Uh-huh."
"SiLeNcE," Miranda hissed.
Howard glared at the girl who was sitting on a prop throne.
That chick got some issues, Howard thought to himself. So what if she messed up and didn't get in? It's not like being in the Talent Show was going to do her any good.
"Let us out!" cried a girl in a cage made of sticks and plastic spears.
"What have we ever done to you?" asked a boy in a cage made of sticks and multicolored batons.
"MoM nEvEr ShOwS uP," Miranda growled. "If I wAs iN tAlEnT sHoW, sHe'D sEe! BuT, fAtTy HeRe rUiNeD eVeRyThInG!"
Miranda pointed her wing towards Howard, making everyone glare at him. Howard put his hands up in defense.
"It's not my fault she messed up!" Howard protested. "If I let someone in who messes up, Heidi would broadcast that video of me and Randy taking a bath together."
"You were probably three," scoffed a girl.
"NOT THAT VIDEO!" Howard yelled. "WHY WOULD THERE BE A VIDEO OF US TAKING A BATH AT THREE?"
"That's what parents do," said a boy.
"It's their job to love and embarrass us," muttered the magician boy.
"SHUT UP!" Miranda growled. "ALL OF YOU SHUT UP OR I—"
"SMOKEBOMB!"
A cloud of red smoke appeared on the backrest of the throne. The Ninja appeared, causing everyone to cheer.
"The Ninja!"
"He's here to save us!"
"Go Ninja!"
"NiNjA," Miranda growled as she turned around.
"Alright, bird-brain," Ninja said. "Get ready to get your butt—WHOA!"
Miranda slapped Randy with her wing, causing him to crash into the cage where Howard was. The cage broke instantly. The magician boy ran while Howard kneeled by Randy.
"Ninja! Speak to me!"
"Easy buddy, easy," Randy said, sitting up. "I'm fine. You have to free everyone while I deal with bird-brain."
Howard gave a nod and started running off. Randy quickly got to his feet, and got into battle stance.
"Alright Miranda," Randy called. "I feel weird fighting a girl, but…you're a monster."
Miranda growled as she flew up. Her yellow eyes glared daggers as she whipped her wing across, sending razor-sharp feathers Randy's way.
"Ninja rings!"
Randy threw small, circular rings towards the feathers. The rings and the feathers collided, and the rings cut through the feathers. Miranda hissed as one of the rings nicked her wing. She landed on the throne, her eyes screaming bloody murder.
Randy's eyes scanned Miranda, trying to find what she held most dear. Finally, his gaze landed on a charm bracelet. The bracelet had green mist swirling around it, especially a heart charm. Randy readied his scarf.
"Yo Ellen!"
Miranda glared harshly at Randy.
"WhAt?"
"NINJA SCARF SNATCH!"
Randy threw the scarf, and it grabbed the bracelet. Miranda was too slow to stop Randy. Once the bracelet was in his hands, Randy pulled it and broke it apart. Mist swirled around his head before retreating to the vents.
….
"You did well," Howard said. "You stop a crazy bird-chick from almost killing me and we manage to judge a Talent Show without screwing up."
"Yeah," answered Randy. "But, I just learned I have a arch enemy that I have to prevent from escaping."
"That too."
The boys were sitting front row, watching the talent show. The talent show was a success, and Heidi didn't have to broadcast the video. As they watched, a thought occurred to Randy.
"Hey Howard?"
"Yeah, Cunningham."
"Do you think the robot wolf that attacked us came from another enemy of the Ninja?"
"I dunno, why?"
"Because…I have a feeling the Sorcerer won't be the only enemy I have."
Randy frowned, but Howard just waved it off.
"Relax, Cunningham," Howard reassured him. "Maybe in the near future you might have a partner to help you fight all the enemies you have and junk."
"Yeah right," Randy said. "It's not like I'm going to get a ninja-chick to help me."
The two laughed, then turned their attention back to the show.