Crazy trouble with love part 6

Roman x Melodic Cudgel

Series: RWBY

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-In a abandoned dust factory-

Roman looked over the plans again while a little bit anxious about getting the dust required to start this almost ludicrous invasion. That and Neo was busy trying to keep a train full of the stuff from getting rescued by nosy idiots. 'I swear Cinder is just begging for us to bust our asses over something this huge.'

He turned around and lit a cig while twirling Melodic Cudgel around. "But hey as long as I get paid." He said to himself before looking at the plans again. 'But what army needs dust? Besides every damn army in the city at that dumb festival.'

The weapon glowed slightly as it produced an almost orange yellow color. '...Cinder needs to get laid.'

"That's what I say." He laughed before realizing he was all alone in the room. He looked around and raised an eyebrow. "Ok, did I just talk to myself?"

'No partner in arms.' The voice said again.

He looked around and frowned. "Ok, come on out and stop snooping around."

The weapon glowed as it slowly started to form a short girl with black hair that reached to her shoulders, red eyes, a C cup chest and tiny ass, a long blackish white dress like outfit with no sleeves on her arms, a red cloche hat, with a long skirt that went to her knees and down her back, red high heels, long black silk stockings, a orange scarf around her waist with a flame in the middle. Her hands were covered in red gloves with a small pipe in her left hand.

And Roman was holding her by the waist.

"Hello." She said while taking a smoke and blew in his face.

His eyes widened before letting go and stepped back with a frown. "Who the heck are you lady?"

She puffed another smoke and sighed. "Don't you know Roman Candle Torchwick? How unfortunate for you." She sent a smoke ring at him. "Must be the booze."

He waved it off and crossed his arms. "I'd like to know how you did that magic trick just now."

"What trick?" She said before moving closer to him. "That I know your middle name or that you came from a rich family before getting put in a betting ring back in Vacuo?"

He glared. "Who told you that?"

"You." She said while making another smoke ring. "You talk in your sleep."

"Ok cut the crap and tell the truth." he frowned while looking around. "Hey, what did you do to my weapon?"

She rolled her eyes before turning her right hand into a familiar handle. "Nothing, because I am the weapon." She sent a smoke right at him. "You silly thief."

He blinked. "Ok, say for an instance I do believe you, prove it."

She breathed heavily as some smoke appeared from her nose before turning her left hand into a familiar gun barrel and shot at the wall. "Proof enough oh mister Candle?"

He went wide eyed and held a finger up. "Uh, can you hold on for one sec?"

She blew smoke into his face. "Make it quick and no guards." 'Knowing him he's about to call that witch of his or that girl, either way he won't get them to believe his claims.'

He walked out of the way, pulled out his Scroll, and hit Neo's number as fast as his fingers could go.

Beep beep beep.

Neo's face appeared on screen. "..."

"Neo! Get over here now!"

"..." she blinked confused as she tilted her head back.

"There's a woman over here and you won't believe who she is."

"...?" She looked very lost as someone called her from behind.

"Hey partner in arms! I got the ice cream you wanted!" Called out a female voice with a slight Vacuo accent.

Neo's eyes widened before hanging up.

"Neo no!" he cried out before he hit redial.

Beep beep beep.

"I'm sorry but Neopolitan isn't here right now." Said the answering machine. "Please leave a message after the beep."

Beep!

"Neo, now is a time to hurry up and pick up because my weapon is alive!"

Said weapon sighed and made some smoke rings in the air. "Are you done yet? A weapon spirit like me has zero patience for waiting for their partner in arms."

That peaked his interest. "Weapon spirit?"

"That's me." She said. "And trust me, you gave me a lot of affection to give me this form, mister Candle."

"Ok, first off, stop with the nickname honey." he spoke setting his Scroll down. "Second, what even is a weapon spirit?"

"The first one no. And a weapon spirit is that, a spirit of a weapon that either lived one hundred years or got enough affection to bypass the one hundred year transformation." She puffed smoke at him. "I'm the latter, Melodic Cudgel at your service mister Candle."

He narrowed his eye and waved the smoke away. "Would you stop that? I blow smoke away from me for a reason, if I inhale too much I'll get wrinkles on my naturally charming complexion."

"What completion?" She smirked. "All I see is a man that runs away. But enough about the past." She walked to the other side of the room. "I'm here for more," she made a smoke ring in the shape of a familiar symbol. "Personal matters. Especially involving that woman you work for now."

Roman raised an eyebrow. "What about her?"

"Get rid of her." She spoke with some literal spit fire coming out of her mouth.

He leaned against a table while chuckling. "Oh? Sounds like someone's jealous. Well don't worry dear, I'll make sure to give you a clean polish later if you're scared the big bad lady will take me away."

Bang!

A bullet hit the table.

"I'm not that kind of woman." She spoke while almost looking pissed. "I know for a fact this little plan is going to end us both."

He looked at the hole and sat down while crossing his legs. "Well, you really do take after me."

"I was made by you." She said. "As for the job, I see many loop holes and dead ends that don't do us any good."

"Like what honey?"

"Protection from the Grimm for one, the instant betrayal of the White Fang on the day of the invasion, oh and I almost forgot, that little red girl getting in the way." She said while walking towards him. "And by the way, that little witch might even be using us for her own ends."

"Oh sweet sweet innocent Melodic." he patted her on the shoulder. "As an experienced thief and conman, I wouldn't expect her to do anything but that."

She rolled her eyes. "That's true, but I also know that you have a temper." She puffed some smoke at him. "And can get too creative in your views of the world, so much so that any Grimm in a fifty mile radius will attack you."

He glared while knowing it's somewhat true.

"Also." She got on his lap. "I don't want my partner in arms getting hurt before we settle things in the master bedroom."

"Hold on a sec." he put his arm around her shoulders. "Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"Yep." She blew a smoke ring at him. "After all we are, in your human language, hitched."

He took a sec to let that sink in before standing up and set her off his lap. "Nope."

"Sorry, but you can't back away from this one. Partner in arms is not only a high honor to us weapon spirits, but also a legal contract that can't be broken."

"Yeah well, now it is." he blew a ring of smoke at her this time before walking back over to the plans. "The way I see it, I made you? So I make the rules, I'm canceling that one."

She just chuckled. "Oh Roman Roman Roman, you're so naive. You don't have a say in it because only I can break the contract and I'm not doing it anytime soon."

"Oh really?" he got a glint in his eyes. "Then what's stopping me from going out and oh say, finding a random hooker to have fun with?"

BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG!

The wall behind him became a nest of bullet holes as Melodic Cudgel looked very vivid.

"Try that stunt again I'll make sure you're unable to walk again." She spoke coldly while her mouth spat out flames and her left hand was smoking from the tip of her barrel.

"Wow." he turned to her in surprise. "Someone's the jealous type."

"All weapon spirits hate cheating partner in arms, if someone does do it." She shot at the wall. "We kill the women or men they see before making them feel the pain of our heartache." She then walked towards him. "So don't even try and get a hooker, or do you feel lucky mister Candle?"

He smirked and leaned back in his chair while putting his cig to the side. "Then tell me again, about what you said before regarding the bedroom."

"You know." She said before her arm changed back and she blew some smoke rings at him. "A good time. But I warn you, weapon spirits don't give birth so no children for you."

"Oh believe me, I'm not the parent kind." he laughed before pulling her on his lap. "But you really shouldn't have told me that."

She smirked. "I know, but I did."

(Some hours later)

Smoke rings filled the room as Melodic Cudgel, naked as all heck, was busy smoking her pipe. "It was ok, for our first time."

"Trust me, after I get my second wind, you'll be saying something else. I think God being called sounds about right." remarked Roman blowing some smoke from his own cigarette and coughed. "But maybe we should cut back on smoking, it's getting thick in here."

She rolled her eyes. "Fine, but I'll make sure you call me mistress instead."

"That's a laugh coming from you."

She chuckled. "Says the man who fucked a child." She turned to him. "And yes, in human years I'm only thirteen years of age."

"Oh? Then you shouldn't be smoking." he teased.

"Says the man with a witch." She said before moving towards him. "Also, let's make sure she's not in command when she comes back from her mission."

"Do I smell a mutiny?"

"Perhaps, or perhaps I'm interested in making her taste Fire Dust in her drink." She smirked darkly.

"Aw, you're all grown up." he teased rubbing her head before a thought hit him. "Wait, something just popped in my head."

"What mister Candle?"

"First don't call me that." He frowned. "Second, what I'd like to know is does this technically make you my daughter since I made you?"

"Yes." She smirked. "And wife in a sense."

He blinked.

"But that's how all weapon spirits that were made with affection are. Daughters to their mothers or fathers that are eventually turned into partner in arms." She grabbed his cheek. "Now let's get back to work partner in arms."

"Just try not to pass out on me."

Melodic Cudgel smirked as the screen went black. "I won't." 'My dear mister Candle.'